Just Me Being Me - No Apology

Alright my gorgeous people - it is a new month which means a new theme!

Dreams, intuition, gut feelings - this is what I want to dig into for the next couple of weeks with you babes.

How have we become so disconnected with our dreams? What messaging did we get when we were young when we shared our dreams? And how many of us have shoved our dreams in some dark closet because they're "ridiculou" or "unrealisitic" of just because we've been conditioned to believe that our lives have to be rational and sensible and that there's no place for dreams in that?

Well I'm here to tell you that your dreams are your soul calling out to you and that they'll never stop trying to manifest themselves in your life. We just need to start listening! And to get out of our heads!!

I can't wait to hear what this episode brought up for you my friends. Remember i'm always available through my DMS on my instagram @msmarnie_is_here

xx

Marnz

Arrrright my friends - it's time to get super juicy on this shiz. I've had a lot of amazing feedback from women on a journey to figure out who the F their truly are and to "go their own way"... but i've also had some incredible conversations about what holds us back from these things.

And today I want to dive into this fear that if we do the work, that we could become a different person and that this could mean the end of our current relationship.

You are not alone babes, I have thought and experienced this myself and I want to share in this episode the three biggest fears or roadblocks that i've experiences with my husband when it comes to me fuguring out who I am.

Firstly there's the fear of outgrowing the person that were with. This is a biggie! Secondly I chat about the fear of being held back by our partner once we have had realisations about what kind of life we want to live and feel confident in our dreams.

And lastly there's the frustration/judgement trap. The all to common projection of wherever we are on this journey onto our loved ones and expecting them to be on our level.

 

Here are the deets for this Month's Bookclub Book that I read a bit from. IT IS AMAZING!

https://www.audible.com.au/pd/Life-Will-Be-the-Death-of-Me-Audiobook/0525638741 (https://www.audible.com.au/pd/Life-Will-Be-the-Death-of-Me-Audiobook/0525638741)

 

If you loved the quote from Dr Joe Dispenza then check out his website https://drjoedispenza.com/ or his instagram @drjoedispenza

I am so beyond stoked to have the crazy/amazing Lucy Aitkenread on the podcast this week as we continue our July Theme of - You Can Go Your Own Way.

So Lucy's bio describes her as 'Mama/writer/earthlover. Lives in a yurt etc' hahaha BUT Lucy is SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. She is a total expander for me when it comes to questioning everything and creating an intentional life for her and her family

In this episode we chat about how Lucy left London come to NZ and set up her life in an off-the-grid Yurt in rural Waikato. We chat about how her upbringing shaped her and what the first small steps she took were to start REALLY diving deep into what kind of life felt aligned to her values.

Lucy also gives some great tips on finding your peeps and also talks about her synchronistic experience that lead her on the unschooling path with her two daughters, Ramona (9) & Juno (7).

If you would love to know more about Lucy's Spring Retreat that we metion at the end (and that i'm attending woop woop) called Dancing Forest Sisterhood click the link below for all the deets

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSflXaDK7CfrtMEjCTWhOgx50EgTQIkdOIT8g6Z6EhqI9S6xWA/viewform (https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSflXaDK7CfrtMEjCTWhOgx50EgTQIkdOIT8g6Z6EhqI9S6xWA/viewform)

 

Lucy also has an INCREDIBLE amount of amazing content on her website

http://lulastic.co.uk/ (http://lulastic.co.uk/)

And if you are interested at all in unschooling then Lou is also runninig her DISCO online course again in November so check out the website for more details or get in touch with her on her Instagram @lulasticblog

Okay okay my friends we are gonna do things a bit differently around here for the rest of the year so WELCOME to the first monthly theme!

'YOU CAN GO YOUR OWN WAY'

This month is all about getting super deep on what it means to question everything in our lives, from the smallest ways of being to the BIG decision and asking ourselves whether they really align with our true selves, or the lives we want to live.

In today's episode I am chatting about where I currently am on this journey and how hard i'm finding being my WHOLE self now that i'm back living close to my Mum & my home town.

I explain the pull i've been feeling to all of my old ways of being and how hard I believe it is to break free of our conditioning, from our childhoods, our families and the cultural conditioning, when we're surrounded by people who have an expectation of who we are and how we should act, based on their past experience.

A few examples I give are around my recent hmmmm moments around why I got married when I don't really believe in marriage. Or how it took me 29 years to question whether I really felt okay eating meat.

Thank you babes, as always but ESPECIALLY at the moment for sharing this journey with me. I would love love love to hear your feedback and come join me over on my Instagram @msmarnie_is_here as we delve into this theme even deeper over the coming month.

I'm baaaaaaack and holy shitballs friends this year is really kicking my ass & I kinda feel as if the Universe is just giving me prod after prod like "Sooooo you're really into this 'question everything in life' shit aye? Well how about THESE APPLES!!!"

And so of course the latest part of my life that has got me thinking is how much my biz life and social media life are fucking with my "real life". Which sounds kinda strange but having an "Instagram Business" with my brand Ms Marnie has meant i've spent a ridiculou amount of time on my phone over the last 4 years and today I wanna chat about how recently i've had this mad urge to basically break up with social media for good.

BUT the more I looked into it (and tried to blame Instagram for changing) the more I am realising that it's me that's my problem. I'm the one not holding boundaries around phone time, i'm the one using the 'gram not only to work but to numb out and I'm the one trapping myself in the "but this is how i've always done things" mentality.

I also kind of side step into some information about postnatal depletion so if you have a listen and this piques you're interest then totally get amongst Dr Oscar's Book called 'The Post Natal Depletion Cure' or if you're keen to listen to his yarn about social media and motherhood here's the link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e13zYfv2l4&t=54s&fbclid=IwAR2DRqHE9Oa1gWC5CMOdZvS408-vC0fVOhJq_8sRzLz_5PACHazfGRaEV8k (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e13zYfv2l4&t=54s&fbclid=IwAR2DRqHE9Oa1gWC5CMOdZvS408-vC0fVOhJq_8sRzLz_5PACHazfGRaEV8k)

Thank you SAHHH much for hanging out with a bitta Marnz in your ears and if you ever have any questions, commments or feedback then hit me up on [email protected]

You know this show ain't about shying away from anything my friends, so today I share with you the biggest lessons I learnt from my public naming and shaming on Instagram and the check-ins that I had to do in order for it to be a true learning experience.

From the initial defensiveness, to sitting with the uncomfortable and confronting shit that was coming up for me to letting that pass so I could be in a place of listening and not letting my ego and it's need to feel like a "good person" take over.

I also share some of my not so "woke" moments when trying to call out my husband on his lack of engagement in the issues that are being brought to light at the moment. I made three mistakes that I can look back now and see how they contributed to it being a pretty unproductive and unconsious conversation.

In the episode I mention Harriet Lerner - here is the link to the podcast episodes she recorded with Brene Brown and also a link to her book Why Won't You Apologize?

https://brenebrown.com/podcast/harriet-lerner-and-brene-im-sorry-how-to-apologize-why-it-matters/ (https://brenebrown.com/podcast/harriet-lerner-and-brene-im-sorry-how-to-apologize-why-it-matters/)

https://www.amazon.com/Why-Wont-You-Apologize-Betrayals/dp/1501129619/ref=pd_sim_14_4?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=YQBKTFN60AV8FVQAEAB3 (https://www.amazon.com/Why-Wont-You-Apologize-Betrayals/dp/1501129619/ref=pd_sim_14_4?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=YQBKTFN60AV8FVQAEAB3)

In this episode babes I am so stoked to introduce you to Callie Brown who is a clarity & connection coach but also I truly believe is like the big sister everyone dreams of having.

She is so wise and talking to her is like drinking a warm cup of hot chocolate BUT she's also absolutely hilarious and seriously does not give ANY FUCKS! My kinda gal right.

Today Callie and I talk about how her growing up as a child actress and the pressure to perform & "get the role" lead to a mental/physical/emotional breakdown in her early 20s and how she then literally started her journey to figuring out who she truly is underneath the many masks by going to back to her first breath - to her birth story.

We talk motherhood, conscious parenting (and how we fuck our kids up a little no matter how well intentioned we are), and what it takes to dig down through that deep shit and do it with a sense of lightness.

I cannot recommend enough getting some Callie in your life so please visit her website and instagram for some daily goodness!

http://calliebrown.com.au/ (http://calliebrown.com.au/)

https://www.instagram.com/calliecoach/ (https://www.instagram.com/calliecoach/)

After a really quite deep AF episode last week where I dived into my childhood and the path to understanding and making peace with the stories I made up as a child I realised there was something SUPER important that I left out

So today I chat about the reality of making these incredibly personal and sometimes painful discoveries and how it can leave you feeling pretty untethered.

As well as this I share how I myself fell into a trap of forgetting that these new insight I was having about myself were competing against reactions and beliefs that had been entrenched for 25 years.

I found myself in a place of frustration where there was no room for self-compassion and understanding that these habits and stories that were planted as a child would take time to change.

One of the biggest lightbulbs came when I heard a poem written by a woman named Portia Nelson that I also share on this episode that seriously helped me SO much and I hope it helps you babes too.

Compassion and patience friends, that's the theme of today's episode

If you would like to hear the incredible Wayne Dyer read Portia Nelson's poem then follow this link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP8moNSVkCs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP8moNSVkCs)

Arrrright so you know how I warned you it was gon' get a lil deep. Well time to head down the rabbit hole me thinks.

In today's episode I share a mega awakening I whilst escaping from my mumlife breakdown when Riv was just under a year old. It has to do with a story that I had been telling myself (and trying to compensate for) since I was six years old. I realised that this story that I made up almost 30 years ago has been the root cause for so much of my internal suffering over my life and also that simmering discontent I have felt for much of my adult life no matter how "successful" I became or the relationships I had seemed to be.

These realisations had to to with what people call a "core limiting belief" which I explain more about in the episode and then also the counter to that - which I know as a "winning formula".

Understanding where these stories and the resulting patterns of behaviour came from, and why as a 6 year old girl it made TOTAL sense to create them, has really fucking helped me understand MYSELF and have compassion for myself AND a feeling that now as an adult I can gently let those stories go and not be a slave to them anymore.

If you have any questions about ideas I bring up in the epsiode or would like to share your own revelations I would LOVE to hear from you on [email protected]

Guyzzz I am so incredibly excited to bring you the amazing chat I had with Zoe Blaskey who is the host of the Motherkind Podcast, which has honestly been SUCH a guiding light for me over my Mamahood journey.

Zoe has been on her own rollercoaster ride of figuring out the F she really is for over 12 years since a breakdown/breakthrough she had at the age of 23. Since then she's become a mum to two beautiful girls Jessie who is 4 and Rose who is 5 months, she coaches Mums, and of course interviews incredible guests such as Gabor Mate, Dr Shefali and Glennon Doyle for her podcast.

But the things I love most about Zoe is that she is SO freakin' passionate about helping women navigate motherhood by taking the journey BACK TO THEMSELVES.

Today Zoe and I chat about:

* How our childhood experiences and the pain of our parents can shape the masks we wear as adults

* What it means to "wake up" and start to question everything about our lives and start the journey of uncovering true selves

* Martyrdom and the f-ed up messages that sacrifice = love give to children and to mothers

* What it means to our children when we walk this path of truly loving oursleves and living our truth

* The true meaning of self-care (not the BS one sold to us by capitalist culture!)

I hope you lurrrve this episode as much as I lurrrved chatting to Zoe. And if you've been living under a rock and haven't completely binged all of the episodes of the Motherkind podast then follow the link below and you are in for SUCH a treat

 

You can also find Zoe through her instagram page https://www.instagram.com/motherkind_zoe/ (https://www.instagram.com/motherkind_zoe/) or through her website https://www.motherkind.co/ where she also has an amazing online course about giving the big ol' finger to perfectionism!

If this episode gave you some lightbulb moments then I would LOVE to hear all about them! Hit me up on my instagram @msmarnie_is_here or leave a review with all the juicy goodness you squeezed from our chat