Just Shae and Friends

This episode is for parents who can’t relax.

If you’ve ever felt like you couldn’t turn your head for even a second without something going wrong, this chapter will feel familiar.

I talk about raising my autistic son during a season of constant movement and elopement. The fear underneath the running. The hypervigilance nobody took seriously. And what it does to your body when you’re always in protection mode.

This isn’t a how-to episode. It’s a lived experience.
For parents raising autistic or special needs children who feel like they’re always watching, always alert, and always tired.

This episode is the first chapter of my memoir, told out loud.

When my kids came back to live with me, my son Ste’ce was six, in pull-ups, nonverbal, and already diagnosed with autism and an intellectual disability. I didn’t understand what that meant yet. Not because nobody told me, but because I was overwhelmed, surviving, and didn’t have the language for what was happening in my own body.

In this episode, I talk about those early months. The accidents. The school calls. The memories that wouldn’t stop replaying. The shame I didn’t know how to name. And the moment I realized we were already playing catch-up without a map.

This isn’t advice or research. It’s lived experience.
If you’ve ever looked back and wondered what you missed while you were just trying to survive, this chapter is for you.

Repetitive behaviors like throwing aren’t always random or defiant. Sometimes they serve a purpose, especially during moments that require focus or regulation. In this episode, I talk through why simply stopping a behavior can increase stress, how replacement behaviors can support safety and regulation, and what questions parents can bring to their BCBA or therapist to better understand the “why” behind what they’re seeing.

This is a real talk reflection grounded in lived experience, RBT work, and research that supports harm reduction, communication, and nervous system regulation. Because safety and regulation can coexist.

References mentioned:

SPARK for Autism. Repetitive behaviors in autism and their role in regulation
Autism Internet Modules. Differential reinforcement and alternative behaviors
Links ABA. Teaching functional replacement behaviors
ERIC. Differential reinforcement and behavior support research

In this episode, I talk about the popular “autism detox” trends—what they are, where the idea came from, and why I chose a different path for my son. I break down the difference between social-media detox routines and medical chelation therapy, explain what the research actually says, and share what supported my son’s progress in a real, practical way.

I also explore the pressure parents feel to “fix” autism, the guilt that often comes with those conversations, and why shifting from blame to support has made all the difference in our journey.

Sources referenced:

• NIH – “Chelation for autism spectrum disorder (ASD)” ⁠https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6457964/⁠ 

• Cochrane Review on Chelation and Autism  ⁠https://www.cochrane.org/CD010766/BEHAV_chelation-autism-spectrum-disorder-asd⁠ 

• FDA – “Potentially Dangerous Products and Therapies Claiming to Treat Autism” ⁠https://www.fda.gov/consumers/consumer-updates/be-aware-potentially-dangerous-products-and-therapies-claim-treat-autism⁠ 

• NHS – “Treatments Not Recommended for Autism” ⁠https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism/autism-and-everyday-life/treatments-that-are-not-recommended-for-autism/⁠ 

• PMC – “Dietary Patterns and Nutritional Status in Children with Autism” ⁠https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8234602/⁠ 

If this episode helped you or made you think, feel free to share it with another parent or caregiver who may need it. Thank you for listening and supporting Just Shae and Friends.

What do you do when your autistic child refuses to eat — or only eats the same three things? In this episode, I share how my son, Ste’ce, went from picky plates to loving food, without pressure or force. From babyhood dinners with our big cultural “village buffet” to the green bean trauma that taught me what not to do — this episode breaks down sensory challenges, real-life parenting lessons, and why gentle exposure works better than battles.

If you’ve ever cried at the dinner table or wondered how to help your child try new foods, this one’s for you. Pull up a chair, grab a snack, and let’s talk about building trust, not tension, around food.

#RealTalkWithShae | Just Shae & Friends

Ever feel like you already know what your child is saying without words? That’s not magic — that’s mom intuition. In this episode, I share how I turned that gift into real communication practice with my son.

We’ll talk about:
• Different ways nonverbal kids communicate
• How to turn silent signals into device use
• The role of consistency and patience
• Why your child’s AAC device is more than a gadget — it’s their voice

If you’re working on getting your child to use their communication device, this one’s for you. You’ve already got the gift. Now it’s about helping them translate it.

When my autistic son had a meltdown on camera and later apologized, people assumed I didn’t discipline him. Let’s clear that up. In this episode, I break down what an autistic meltdown really is, why discipline has to wait until calm returns, and how to respond in ways that actually help.

Whether you’re a parent, caregiver, partner, or friend, you’ll walk away with a better understanding of what’s happening during a meltdown, what you can do in the moment, and how to move forward after the storm.

Because meltdowns don’t mean failure — they mean human.

Some kids won’t sleep in their own bed… others dismantle it like it’s their part-time job. In this episode of Just Shae and Friends, I share my experience with my son Ste’ce (yes, he took his bed apart too), along with strategies I’ve learned from ABA training and my RBT sister.

We’ll talk about:

• Why kids resist their bed or destroy it (sensory, escape, attention, or comfort issues)

• Safety-first solutions like floor beds and crash pads

• The power of consistency in bedtime routines

• Gradual independence: moving the bed step by step toward their own room

• Reinforcing the good behaviors and working with your therapy team

Disclaimer: I am not a BCBA. Please work with your child’s therapy team for a plan tailored to your child.

Hitting can be one of the toughest moments to handle as a parent—especially when your child is autistic and struggling to communicate.

In this episode, I share what I’ve learned from ABA training and from my sister, who’s an RBT, about keeping yourself safe and helping your child find safer ways to express themselves.

I haven’t experienced this personally with my son, but these tips can help you protect yourself, stay calm, and work with your child’s therapy team to address the behavior.

Disclaimer: I am not a BCBA. Please consult your child’s therapy team for a plan specific to them.