David Waldman enters his “Friday Era” today, which counting inclusively from the Ides, would fall upon the... well, depending on the Augustus or Sextilis derivation, would… heck, politics does complicate everything, including us getting to the weekend.

Sometimes things aren’t so complicated. CNN reports that a collection of raw Russian intelligence disappeared under Donald Trump, which is exactly where most would predict it would disappear. Donald lost a full 10 inches of highly classified information on the Russia Russia Russian interference on the 2016 elections, which Trump planned to declassify, but apparently just forgetting it was easier.

Stochastic terrorism would be a cinch for Trump because there are so many ready to help him out for free. As Donald will tell you though, just being associated with the Trump name should be enough for anybody. Where would convicted criminal and alleged stalker Brock William Fredin be without the Trump boost?