David Waldman didn’t write the rules, but he might be the last one to remember what they all are.

Christmas has come early for Trump. Billionaire Secret Santa rules are simple: bring a million bucks. Also, it’s no secret who’s playing Santa this year. Donald can sit on Santa Musk’s lap all he wants, but the naughty boys and girls who threaten Santa’s elves in China will find a primary challenge in their stockings. Musk expects Trump to immediately fire all non-essential employees and rehire them over at DOGE.

The Trump doctrine (aka, Sein Kampf) involves gunboat money laundering in Panama, while around the world tariffs replace thumb breaking. Here such heavy-handed extortion tactics are not required as everyone seems eager to break their own thumbs in advance.

Clarence Thomas needs an emotional support billionaire to live with the stigma of cruel people constantly mocking his graft.

Fani Willis didn’t deserve to be disqualified from prosecuting Trump in Georgia, and yet she was. The archivist and deputy archivist of the United States said that the Equal Rights Amendment cannot be certified without further action by Congress.  But did Joe Biden think to call Colleen Shogan “unhinged” and suggest that she is in an affair with William Bosanko, then maybe dox them both? Worth a try!