David Waldman welcomes us to 2025, a year so nasty they named a Christofacist masterplan after it. 2024 was pretty stupid, but not half as stupid as the journalists we listened to, nor half as stupid as they will be. 

The vibe for the year was set early on Bourbon Street in New Orleans when a driver, or at least his pickup truck, killed and injured dozens. Later, his weapon discharged, then police discharged theirs, and the resulting corpse will be charged with terrorism... of course. Obviously, that is a “terroristic” act, like shooting a CEO, and should be treated as such. The largest homemade explosives cache in FBI history was recently discovered in Virginia, but that’s kind of a gray area in terms of terrorism.  After all, the dude was only shooting at Joe Biden silhouettes, and Kash Patel can tell you all about that “FBI”. And you might think that a guy planning to cut off drinking water to a million people unless they meet his demands would be considered a supervillain, let alone a terrorist, yet people will call him “Governor” this year.

Ken Paxton’s deputy is getting away with it, as is Ken Paxton.

Donald Trump will be going to Jimmy Carter’s funeral to demonstrate to the world that you can’t make him not go. The Gop Congress is collectively holding out their Johnson to impress Trump, but Donald is notoriously fickle.  After all, Trump used to hate TikTok when he thought it was for entertainment, but once it became the premier site for micro-algorithmic disinformation dissemination, it won his heart.