He’s back! Greg Dworkin has been MIA at KITM since sometime last year and had been absent half of 2025 before ringy-dingying back in like nothing ever happened. (Actually, he acted like a lot happened and was keen to tell David Waldman and us all about it.)

Facts are still coming in on the New Orleans truck attack, but who needs any more facts once the perp’s complexion has been verified? And then, his mom named him Shamsud-Din Jabbar! Jabbar might have acted alone, been in the military, been born in the United States, but oh that name… Fox News will tell you that just has to be illegal. Trump is ready to make Tijuana the next Bagdad over all this.

Then another military man took another rental EV truck and… Wait, he’s a white guy named Matt? That’s confusing! Well, self-immolation in a pickup full of firecrackers does seem uniquely American, and it was a Tesla so (Deleted by request of the KITM Legal Department)

Then there’s 150 pipe bombs found in a Virginia man’s home, but his name’s Brad, and he’s the goodest of good ol’ boys, never meaning no harm, just target practicing on Joe Biden cutouts. Expect a bit more empathy for this one… those pipe bombs were probably for pesky little beavers.

Americans haven’t been this united since the Civil War in their shared belief of the lack of institutional resources to handle the other folks, although half of us expect that the guy they elected is all the resource they will ever need.

Kek-ek-ek-ek-ek! Gluteus Maximus has changed his name to Kekius. Other than the direct fascist, alt-right and Nazi references, what could Elon Musk mean? Elon’s humor, like his political stances, is just so enigmatic! Isn’t it so weird how the world’s richest incel gamerboi became a supervillain? Vivek Ramaswamy has become Elon’s OddJob.

If only we had Jimmy Carter to get rid of these parasites.