RIP, Charles “Big Chuck” Schodowski. Man, that’s the end of an era that no one will ever recapture. You won’t see times like that again, guaranteed. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to interrupt each other and some of our doomthinking for a couple of hours.

The thumb-in-the-eye president is back to stick his thumb in more eyes.  Voters with problems know someone else is to blame and have reelected history’s greatest blame-shifter to blame those who aren’t them. Sure, he’ll be Lovecraftianly horrific otherwise, but on that one skill he is a virtuoso. All the rest are lies of course but lies that feel so good people will pay billions to hear them.

Your goldbug friends who wanted a return to the gold standard are now going crypto which is stable somewhere between zero and infinity. A one-world coinage sounds just fine to them.

Welcome to today’s new gilded age, with sadly no Titanic yet spotted on the horizon. A couple of bros wanted to buy Greenland for incels and stock it with females. Donald wants a piece of that too. Rudy Giuliani doesn’t have that pay to play anymore.

Trump’s DC hotel might reopen as the world’s premiere graft speakeasy, but this time Elon’s opening his international whorehouse of payola right up the street. The inaugural ass kiss lip balm concession sold out today around one o’clock.

Israel trusted Bibi Netanyahu to lie to them, but some are concerned that he might have begun telling the truth lately.

And, it is still Martin Luther King Jr. Day, this year.