Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin go far beyond the schemas, unless there’s somebody really weird that they want to talk about.

News of the Weird: Weirdo welfare king, Sofa King weird J.D. Vance feels that Simone Biles is too weak for a gold medal. Jesse Watters feels that voting for women turns men female. Donald Trump feels that anyone could take one look at Kamala Harris and know that she is not him. The Weird Right do prefer Christian ham sandwiches yet are unable to explain why Gop hotdogs are cocktail-sized. Doug Emhoff is not Jewish enough for Donald Trump, and Kamala is not Black enough.

Kamala wonders if Donald is man enough to say any of that to her face. VP Harris is trending upward in swing states. She’s trending upward all over the place. Never-Trumpers might become Okay-Sure-Why-Not-Harrisers. Kamala isn’t saying who her running mate choice is, but she will be saying it in Philadelphia… Pennsylvania.

Weird, isn’t it, that Peter Thiel would be behind the too-online choice of weirdbilly J.D.? It’s weird how Chief Justice John Roberts has become more MAGA as his SCOTUS has become more MAGA.

Kari Lake may be the only joke that ever made Donald Trump laugh. Project 2025 is pretty dark, but it's the one Trump joke that keeps on giving.

The Trump rally gunman stopped firing after a local officer shot at him. (He stopped giving interviews after the Secret Service shot at him.)

Security footage of Kenneth Chesebro and other Trump henchmen repeatedly attempting to overthrow democracy will be useful once we get back around to trying all of them and putting them in jail.