On today’s KITM, David Waldman celebrates making it to the weekend on his last fraying vocal cord, while I celebrate publishing over 2,000 entries obviously not written by AI since 2015.

It’s unanimous. The Supreme Court ruled on FDA v. Alliance For Hippocratic Medicine. 9-0 because it lacked standing, 3-6 that the lawsuit was absurd, dangerous, and should not have made it to SCOTUS level, and 6-3 looking forward to passing it next year.

Oops! Clarence Thomas forgot to mention a few more private jet trips his old billionaire buddy Harlan Crow gave him. Don’t worry, Clarence will never reinburse, recuse, or regret anything.

The House Gop had its “Take Your Poopy Bawling Baby To Work Day” yesterday, which many in the media call the most pleasant day in DC since early 2021. Some people just hold their petulant ugly brats to a different standard, I guess. And yet, maybe not every Republican is proud of their little felon.

Felon Donald Trump shouldn't be allowed to hold a liquor license, but Donald explains that he only owns the various LLCs who own the company who owns the license… Donald Trump has now illegally owned a firearm for about a week longer than Hunter Biden did.

Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that eight congressional candidates were attempting to get on the Michigan primary ballot using fake signatures.

KITM Senior Sports Correspondent Darwin Darko reports that male sports analysts somehow know less about women’s sports than they know about men’s. Meanwhile, the MLB, sponsored by online sports betting at stadiums and all media, will suspend players for a 20 buck bet, but finds the need to supply bodyguards to protect players from irate gamblers.