It's Thursday, and David Waldman returns! Greg Dworkin returns!! and Armando returns!!! They don’t make Thursdays any better than this.

In New York, Donald Trump’s first criminal trial jury deliberates. They have requested that a few bits of testimony previously drowned out by TFFG snore-farts to be repeated, with special attention given to the felonious bits. Fox smooths out the nuances by demanding that all US citizens but Trump be frog-marched to awaiting squad cars.

If Florida deputy sheriff John Mark Dougan loves Russia so much that he produced 150 misinformation news sites, he should just move there… Oh, he did. 

For Arizona for Abortion Access, Abortion is their middle name, and they don’t shy from it.

Reno 911 life imitates art, but with less funny.

An Iceland volcano erupts dramatically, as usual, but even Icelanders are becoming annoyed.

We have the polls! Nostradamus wouldn’t be able predict who is going to win this thing. As for Israel and Palestine, most Americans polled gave an answer to the question.

The verdict is in. Justices Sam Alito and Clarence Thomas judge Sam Alito and Clarence Thomas to be not guilty on all present and future charges. Their wives, however, they cannot vouch for. 

If Alito’s wife does the flag waving in their relationship, Keith Olbermann wonders what she likes so much about that Phillies flag outside.