KAIMUKIKI

In the year of our lord 2024 we predict that you’ll love this new episode! We start off with some holiday banter and then move into our delulu prophecies for 2024. We then begin our in depth investigation of the elusive and alluring wild wallaby who were rumored to live deep in an Oahu valley. From there we kiki on a bunch of random subjects, from Retinol and Sephora i-pad kids to the Golden Globes and the death of comedy…you know, just lighthearted casual fun with your besties.

Meet our charming hosts, Simone & Wallace, two Honolulu-based best friends on a mission to satisfy their curiosity about a wide variety of topics, with a focus on the goings on in the state of Hawaii, and the world beyond!

In this very special episode Wallace and Simone ask, “Will Travis Kelse and Taylour Swift break up?” Ok, we actually don't ask, but we might be able to tell you what to expect after the rise of our robot overlords in the next few months with our 2024 predictions. Be on the lookout for a wild squirrelball or the ominous plotting of AI! We take a closer look at a Hawaii urban legend, the mythical wallaby. Finally, we see what progress Wallace has made with his new Retinol regime and discuss many other things we have no business having opinions on. Hang onto your coconuts cause here comes a Hawaiian punch! 

Kaimukiki could best be considered “comic investigative journalism” or at worst, the unasked for opinions and recounting of spurious facts by a drag queen and a fancy stripper. 

Want to share your experiences or thoughts on our predictions or have you seen a wallaby here in Honolulu? Write to us!   

Email us at: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram for fun photos related to our episodes & other high weirdness @kaimukiki

Honolulu Wallaby info:

Hawaii Magazine

https://www.hawaiimagazine.com/someone-captured-video-of-the-rare-kalihi-valley-wallaby/#:~:text=Yes%2C%20Hawaii%20has%20wallabies!&text=Believe%20it%20or%20not%2C%20the,small%20section%20of%20Kalihi%20Valley.

DLIR Hi Dept of Land and Nat’l Resources Info on Wallaby Populations

https://dlnr.hawaii.gov/blog/2020/06/25/nr20-091/

Caught on video: The elusive Kalihi Valley wallaby

https://www.khon2.com/local-news/caught-on-video-the-elusive-kalihi-valley-wallaby/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=va-srqMNmIw

https://youtu.be/mvcvuB4dgyo?feature=shared

You can email us at: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram for fun photos related to our episodes & other high weirdness @kaimukiki

It’s the holiday season and we’re gifting you, dear listener, a basket basking, backdoor baking, bootyhole brownin’, taint-tanning episode to singe your minge.  Happy Holidays from your friends over at Kaimukiki! 

That’s right, it’s our in-depth exploration of the latest health craze taking Tik Tok by storm, perineum sunning AKA taint-tanning. 

Meet our charming hosts, Simone & Wallace, two Honolulu-based best friends on a mission to satisfy their curiosity about a wide variety of topics, with a focus on the goings on in the state of Hawaii, and the world beyond!

In this very special holiday episode Wallace and Simone explore the origins of the latest health trend, perineum sunning. Learn the supposed benefits and logical drawbacks of exposing your b-hole to the big burning ball in the sky we call the sun. Pro Tip: Don't forget the sunscreen! Finally, we see what all of the hype is about as we give it a try ourselves. Will Wallace gain enlightenment? Will Simone end up in the ER with 3rd degree burns? Only one way to find out Hunty! 

Kaimukiki could best be considered “comic investigative journalism” or at worst, the unasked for opinions and recounting of spurious facts by a drag queen and a fancy stripper.

Want to share your experiences or thoughts on perineum sunning?  

Email us at: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram for fun photos related to our episodes & other high weirdness @kaimukiki

You can email us at: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram for fun photos related to our episodes & other high weirdness @kaimukiki

In our third episode , we cut a rug for Dolly Parton’s birthday! No. Literally. We actually cut a rug. Take a deep dive with us as we explore our favorite things about Dolly such as, Dolly Parton running for President, Dolly’s notorious interview with Barbara Walters, the most popular Dolly Parton song on our birth dates, Dolly trivia, and finally, would you join our Dolly Parton Cult?

Meet our charming hosts, Simone & Wallace, two Honolulu-based best friends on a mission to satisfy their curiosity about a wide variety of topics, with a focus on the goings on in the state of Hawaii, and the world beyond!

Kaimukiki could best be considered “comic investigative journalism” or at worst, the unasked for opinions and recounting of spurious facts by a drag queen and a fancy stripper. 

In this episode we’ll discuss Dolly Parton & how much we love her AND how to literally cut a rug! We eat cake and drink prosecco in honor of our fave birthday gal. We try to figure out what we’d do if Dolly actually ran for President, talk about her rumored affair with Hulk Hogan, the famed Barbara Walters interview, we trade our favorite Dolly songs and much much more. There's a lot to learn Hunty... so kiki with us here in Kaimukiki!

Links to songs and videos we mentioned in this very special episode:

• This video might have started the rumors about Dolly’s affair with Hulk Hogan: https://tasteofcountry.com/remember-when-dolly-parton-married-hulk-hogan/
• The infamous Barbara Walters interview in which Dolly takes on vintage sexism from a member of her own team: https://youtu.be/If-oWqUYzlQ
• Dolly Parton’s Harper Valley PTA Song:  https://youtu.be/wnZSlOZAxzI
• Dolly Parton’s Travelin’ from Trans America:  https://youtu.be/mx_I-byng78

Want to share your experiences or thoughts on Saint Dolly Parton? Want to know more about the Cult of Dolly?  

Email us at: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram for fun photos related to our episodes & other high weirdness @kaimukiki

JOIN THE CULT OF DOLLY AT @thecultofdolly on IG 

Mahalo Nui Loa <3 

You can email us at: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram for fun photos related to our episodes & other high weirdness @kaimukiki

Donate to 'Āina Momona Maui Wildfires Relief Fund: https://www.kaainamomona.org/maui
*This episode was recorded and edited before the devastating Lahaina wildfires. We feel no need to insert our thoughts about the situation other than to ask that you donate to the relief efforts if you feel lead to do so, mahalo.

Our charming hosts, Simone & Wallace, two Honolulu-based best friends on a mission to satisfy their curiosity about a wide variety of topics with a focus on the goings on in the state of Hawaii, and the world beyond!

Kaimukiki could best be considered “comic investigative journalism” or at worst, the unasked for opinions and recounting of spurious facts by a drag queen and an ecdysiast. 

In this episode we discuss Aliens in Antarctica, new restaurants in Hawaii, what it’s like for a lifelong kama'aina to see the famous Waikiki beach empty during the 2020 COVID lockdown. We also talk about a few of our favorite things, vintage hot rollers & typewriters.

We answer the age old question: Would you get high with your BFF if they were trapped in the body of a small child? 

Product Links (we aren't paid affiliates or anything, just links for funsies):

WAX CORE HOT ROLLERS VIA  AMAZON https://a.co/d/9gF5QL1

LINK WIRELESS UBOTI KEYBOARD VIA  AMAZON https://a.co/d/8zoM5KX

MINI DUSTBUSTER VIA WALMART https://www.walmart.com/ip/Westminster-World-s-Smallest-Vacuum-Random-Color/384803491?irgwc=1&sourceid=imp_Wn8TGx0zwxyPUOCWlnXE%3AQjPUkAS4AVhQ1uG0E0&veh=aff&wmlspartner=imp_1141873&clickid=Wn8TGx0zwxyPUOCWlnXE%3AQjPUkAS4AVhQ1uG0E0&sharedid=&affiliates_ad_id=565706&campaign_id=9383

Want to share your experiences or thoughts about aliens in Antartica or anything else we talked about….or anything at all? 

Email us at: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram for fun photos related to our episodes & other high weirdness @kaimukiki

You can email us at: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram for fun photos related to our episodes & other high weirdness @kaimukiki

Meet our charming hosts, Simone & Wallace, two Honolulu-based best friends on a mission to satisfy their curiosity about a wide variety of topics, with a focus on the goings on in the state of Hawaii, and the world beyond!

Kaimukiki could best be considered “comic investigative journalism” or at worst, the unasked for opinions and recounting of spurious facts by a drag queen and a fancy stripper. 

In this episode we’ll cover the fascinating world of GLORYHOLES! Will Wallace & Simone succeed in finding one of these fabled portals of pleasure in the wild in Honolulu, Hawaii? Answer: HELL YEAH! We’ll talk gloryhole history and origins as well as their present day incarnations and much more. There's a lot to learn, Hunty. Take a deep dive down into a glorious glory hole with us & kiki with us here in Kaimukiki!

*Note: This episode is for *mature audiences only* and features discussions on sex and sexuality, as well as many many swear words. Not intended for children.

Further Reading/Articles:

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/alessadominguez/glory-hole-stories-sex-week

https://getmaude.com/blogs/themaudern/what-is-a-glory-hole

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tearoom_Trade

https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20180212-polari-the-code-language-gay-men-used-to-survive

Want to share your experiences or thoughts about gloryholes? Do you know anything about Polari the coded language that gay men used to survive in the UK, please let us know!

You can email us at: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram for fun photos related to our episodes & other high weirdness @kaimukiki