Overcoming Technology Part 1 Is your phone running your house or are you running it? What about other forms of technology? Dave and Bethlie are back from their August break and kicking off a new stretch of the Overcoming series: Overcoming Technology. How do you overcome technology? We've listed a few suggestions: <ol> <li>Determine if you need to do so <ol> <li>Are you controlled by it?</li> <li>Are you better becausse of it?</li> <li>Where are you being negatively impacted by it?</li> <li>Are your children being negatively impacted by it?</li> <li>68% of us admit that electronic devices keep us from having real conversations</li> <li>50% of us see phones as a significant disruption to our family meals.</li> </ol> </li> <li>Educate yourself <ol> <li>Read and research</li> <li>12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You</li> <li>My Tech Wise Family</li> <li>The Tech Wise Family</li> </ol> </li> <li>Recognize the damage it can cause <ol> <li>Sleep disruption</li> <li>Reduced physical activity</li> <li>Social isolation</li> <li>Mental health issues</li> <li>Digital eye strain</li> <li>Shorter attention span</li> <li>Cyberbullying</li> <li>Loss of privacy</li> <li>Technology addiction</li> <li>Environmental damage</li> </ol> </li> </ol>

Overcoming Technology Part 1 Is your phone running your house or are you running it? What about other forms of technology? Dave and Bethlie are back from their August break and kicking off a new stretch of the Overcoming series: Overcoming Technology. How do you overcome technology? We've listed a few suggestions: Determine if you need to do so Are you controlled by it? Are you better becausse of it? Where are you being negatively impacted by it? Are your children being negatively impacted by it? 68% of us admit that electronic devices keep us from having real conversations 50% of us see phones as a significant disruption to our family meals. Educate yourself Read and research 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You My Tech Wise Family The Tech Wise Family Recognize the damage it can cause Sleep disruption Reduced physical activity Social isolation Mental health issues Digital eye strain Shorter attention span Cyberbullying Loss of privacy Technology addiction Environmental damage

Overcoming Technology Part 1

In part two of the Overcoming Technology series, Dave and Bethlie continue unpacking how smartphones and social media quietly reshape our habits, relationships, and spiritual life — and what to do about it. Building on <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/dp/1433552434?lv=shuf&hvlocphy=9016112&hvptwo=&hvnetw=g&mcid=&hvext=372832205748&hvadid=812936380774&language=en_US&hvpone=&hvlocint=&hvcampaign=23946687799&hydadcr=11506_13716125_2515000&hvpos=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvocijid=14741478543479560381--&hvqmt=a&hvexpln=0&tag=smgglusdsadts-20&hvtargid=kwl-2484167636399&adgrpid=195855870165&hvrand=14741478543479560381&channelId=500&ref_=&plpRedirect=mhFallback">Tony Reinke's 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You</a>, they walk through the specific ways technology damages attention, relationships, and reflection, then move into practical, doable changes. Recap the 12 ways phones change us (from Tony Reinke's book), continued from Part 1: - Phones constantly pull our attention away from the present moment (and the "seven-minute foundation" needed for meaningful conversation) - Digital interaction often replaces physical presence with people around us - Online metrics drive an unhealthy desire for affirmation (likes, followers, influencer culture) - Skimming digital feeds reduces deep reading comprehension - Endless entertainment is available at any second (the disappearance of boredom) - Online personas mask true self-understanding - Digital connectivity frequently leads to isolated lifestyles rather than true community - Screens provide private access to harmful or distracting imagery - An overload of trivia crowds out deep reflection - Constant checking stems from anxiety over being disconnected - Impersonal digital spaces lower our patience and kindness in communication - Constant notifications eliminate the silent spaces needed for prayer and calm thought The four-step framework for overcoming technology: <ol start="1" type="1"> <li class="MsoNormal">Determine if you need to overcome technology (are you controlled by it? better because of it? how is it affecting your kids?)</li> <li class="MsoNormal">Educate yourself (read books, research — they recommend The Tech-Wise Family and 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You)</li> <li class="MsoNormal">Recognize the damage it can cause (the list above)</li> <li class="MsoNormal">Determine the changes needed — practical steps discussed:</li> </ol> - Set time limits (using phone settings or a timer/Alexa) - Change habits (phones out of the bedroom, off the table at meals, a charging basket) - Replace with something better (a regular watch instead of a smart watch) - Silence notifications and check at scheduled times - Remove non-essential apps (or access certain platforms only on a computer) - Turn off notifications and keep the phone on silent

In part two of the Overcoming Technology series, Dave and Bethlie continue unpacking how smartphones and social media quietly reshape our habits, relationships, and spiritual life — and what to do about it. Building on Tony Reinke's 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You, they walk through the specific ways technology damages attention, relationships, and reflection, then move into practical, doable changes. Recap the 12 ways phones change us (from Tony Reinke's book), continued from Part 1: - Phones constantly pull our attention away from the present moment (and the "seven-minute foundation" needed for meaningful conversation) - Digital interaction often replaces physical presence with people around us - Online metrics drive an unhealthy desire for affirmation (likes, followers, influencer culture) - Skimming digital feeds reduces deep reading comprehension - Endless entertainment is available at any second (the disappearance of boredom) - Online personas mask true self-understanding - Digital connectivity frequently leads to isolated lifestyles rather than true community - Screens provide private access to harmful or distracting imagery - An overload of trivia crowds out deep reflection - Constant checking stems from anxiety over being disconnected - Impersonal digital spaces lower our patience and kindness in communication - Constant notifications eliminate the silent spaces needed for prayer and calm thought The four-step framework for overcoming technology: Determine if you need to overcome technology (are you controlled by it? better because of it? how is it affecting your kids?) Educate yourself (read books, research — they recommend The Tech-Wise Family and 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You) Recognize the damage it can cause (the list above) Determine the changes needed — practical steps discussed: - Set time limits (using phone settings or a timer/Alexa) - Change habits (phones out of the bedroom, off the table at meals, a charging basket) - Replace with something better (a regular watch instead of a smart watch) - Silence notifications and check at scheduled times - Remove non-essential apps (or access certain platforms only on a computer) - Turn off notifications and keep the phone on silent

In part two of the Overcoming Technology series, Dave and Bethlie continue unpacking how smartphones and social media quietly reshape our habits, relationships, and spiritual life — and what to do about it. Building on <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1433552434?lv=shuf&amp;hvlocphy=9016112&amp;hvptwo=&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;mcid=&amp;hvext=372832205748&amp;hvadid=812936380774&amp;language=en_US&amp;hvpone=&amp;hvlocint=&amp;hvcampaign=23946687799&amp;hydadcr=11506_13716125_2515000&amp;hvpos=&amp;hvdev=c&amp;hvdvcmdl=&amp;hvocijid=14741478543479560381--&amp;hvqmt=a&amp;hvexpln=0&amp;tag=smgglusdsadts-20&amp;hvtargid=kwl-2484167636399&amp;adgrpid=195855870165&amp;hvrand=14741478543479560381&amp;channelId=500&amp;ref_=&amp;plpRedirect=mhFallback" rel="noopener noreferrer">Tony Reinke's 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You</a>, they walk through the specific ways technology damages attention, relationships, and reflection, then move into practical, doable changes. Recap the 12 ways phones change us (from Tony Reinke's book), continued from Part 1: - Phones constantly pull our attention away from the present moment (and the "seven-minute foundation" needed for meaningful conversation) - Digital interaction often replaces physical presence with people around us - Online metrics drive an unhealthy desire for affirmation (likes, followers, influencer culture) - Skimming digital feeds reduces deep reading comprehension - Endless entertainment is available at any second (the disappearance of boredom) - Online personas mask true self-understanding - Digital connectivity frequently leads to isolated lifestyles rather than true community - Screens provide private access to harmful or distracting imagery - An overload of trivia crowds out deep reflection - Constant checking stems from anxiety over being disconnected - Impersonal digital spaces lower our patience and kindness in communication - Constant notifications eliminate the silent spaces needed for prayer and calm thought The four-step framework for overcoming technology: <ol> <li>Determine if you need to overcome technology (are you controlled by it? better because of it? how is it affecting your kids?)</li> <li>Educate yourself (read books, research — they recommend The Tech-Wise Family and 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You)</li> <li>Recognize the damage it can cause (the list above)</li> <li>Determine the changes needed — practical steps discussed:</li> </ol> - Set time limits (using phone settings or a timer/Alexa) - Change habits (phones out of the bedroom, off the table at meals, a charging basket) - Replace with something better (a regular watch instead of a smart watch) - Silence notifications and check at scheduled times - Remove non-essential apps (or access certain platforms only on a computer) - Turn off notifications and keep the phone on silent

Overcoming Technology Part 2

In the final part of the mini-series Overcoming a Struggling Marriage, Dave and Bethlie bring the five-step series to a close. They show how to stop dividing and start doing life together. That means family dinners at the table instead of in front of the TV, walks after supper, date traditions, and even peeling potatoes side by side. Dave and Bethlie discuss the last two steps in this last mini-series episode. Affirm your commitment through words, vows, and simple texts that say "I'm here for you." And forgive, both by asking for forgiveness and by offering it before you're asked. Overcoming a Struggling Marriage (Part 3): Do Life Together, Affirm, and Forgive Help for marriages is everywhere: books, podcasts, and resources right on your phone. But as Dave and Bethlie warn, it's easy to heap up knowledge and never take it to heart. In Episode 336, the Youngs wrap up their mini-series with practical steps to put into practice this week, whether your marriage is truly struggling, a little stale, or just too busy. Episode Overview The five steps for overcoming a struggling marriage are Speak, Seek, Abandon, Affirm, and Forgive. Quick Review: Speak, Seek, Abandon <ul type="disc"> <li class="MsoNormal">Speak words of affection, affirmation, gratitude, and prayer.</li> <li class="MsoNormal">Seek to do things together, serve each other, solve problems, and seek God together.</li> <li class="MsoNormal">Abandon criticism, negative statements, and division. That does not mean abandoning your spouse.</li> </ul> Abandon Division: Do Life Together Eat Together Aim for at least one meal a day together, ideally supper. For the Youngs, family table time was one of the most looked-forward-to parts of the day. Even with children at the table, husband and wife connect by hearing the same stories and caring for the kids as a team. Eating side by side in front of the TV isn't the same as eating together. Exercise Together Most of us live sedentary lives, so take a walk after dinner or work out together. Dave set up a small garage gym that the family still uses. Enjoy Entertainment Together, Wisely Ball games, plays, musicals, and traditions all count. For years, the Youngs' annual tradition was seeing A Christmas Carol at the Ohio Theatre. It was entertaining, and it was an investment in their marriage. Do the Extra Things Together <ul type="disc"> <li class="MsoNormal">Bethlie connected with each of their children in the kitchen, where light conversations often turned into teaching moments (what the kids call "mom mode").</li> <li class="MsoNormal">As newly empty nesters, they found new connection when Dave asked, "What can I do?" and started peeling potatoes and carrots for Sunday dinner.</li> <li class="MsoNormal">Is your spouse a golfer? Ride along. One couple at their church turned his golf outings into time together, with her serving as the cart chauffeur.</li> </ul> Step 4: Affirm Reaffirm your commitment and your vows, especially when things are hard: "I meant it when I said for better, for worse." Affirmation can be lighthearted, too: <ul type="disc"> <li class="MsoNormal">"I'd marry you all over again."</li> <li class="MsoNormal">"You're still my favorite person in the world."</li> <li class="MsoNormal">"You're still the most attractive person I've ever seen."</li> </ul> Affirm With a Simple Text Bethlie suggests a quick message on a hard day, such as "I'm praying for you" or "You're going to do great." Step 5: Forgive Ask for Forgiveness and Give It Freely Ask: "I know this was wrong. Will you forgive me?" But you can also forgive without being asked, simply because you love your spouse and the offense isn't worth holding on to. When a Hidden Hurt Turns Into Bitterness Dave shares a recent counseling session with a couple who had already seen several counselors. The wife listed everything her husband wouldn't change. Then the husband quietly said that during the hardest time of his life, she wasn't there for him. She didn't seem to even hear it. Whether or not his hurt was justified, it had turned to bitterness, and that bitterness was dividing them. Satan uses held-on hurts to undo every other step. He silences our speaking, makes us stop seeking, and encourages division. Forgive in God's Power, Not Your Own Bethlie reminds believers that Scripture commands us to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving, just as Christ forgave us. If you feel you can't forgive, get alone with God and ask for His forgiving power. Remembering how much He has forgiven you can be overwhelming. And ask the Lord whether the thing you're holding on to is really a big deal at all. Deal with unforgiveness quickly, before it grows. Coming Up Next Week Overcoming the Lies of Our Culture

In the final part of the mini-series Overcoming a Struggling Marriage, Dave and Bethlie bring the five-step series to a close. They show how to stop dividing and start doing life together. That means family dinners at the table instead of in front of the TV, walks after supper, date traditions, and even peeling potatoes side by side. Dave and Bethlie discuss the last two steps in this last mini-series episode. Affirm your commitment through words, vows, and simple texts that say "I'm here for you." And forgive, both by asking for forgiveness and by offering it before you're asked. Overcoming a Struggling Marriage (Part 3): Do Life Together, Affirm, and Forgive Help for marriages is everywhere: books, podcasts, and resources right on your phone. But as Dave and Bethlie warn, it's easy to heap up knowledge and never take it to heart. In Episode 336, the Youngs wrap up their mini-series with practical steps to put into practice this week, whether your marriage is truly struggling, a little stale, or just too busy. Episode Overview The five steps for overcoming a struggling marriage are Speak, Seek, Abandon, Affirm, and Forgive. Quick Review: Speak, Seek, Abandon Speak words of affection, affirmation, gratitude, and prayer. Seek to do things together, serve each other, solve problems, and seek God together. Abandon criticism, negative statements, and division. That does not mean abandoning your spouse. Abandon Division: Do Life Together Eat Together Aim for at least one meal a day together, ideally supper. For the Youngs, family table time was one of the most looked-forward-to parts of the day. Even with children at the table, husband and wife connect by hearing the same stories and caring for the kids as a team. Eating side by side in front of the TV isn't the same as eating together. Exercise Together Most of us live sedentary lives, so take a walk after dinner or work out together. Dave set up a small garage gym that the family still uses. Enjoy Entertainment Together, Wisely Ball games, plays, musicals, and traditions all count. For years, the Youngs' annual tradition was seeing A Christmas Carol at the Ohio Theatre. It was entertaining, and it was an investment in their marriage. Do the Extra Things Together Bethlie connected with each of their children in the kitchen, where light conversations often turned into teaching moments (what the kids call "mom mode"). As newly empty nesters, they found new connection when Dave asked, "What can I do?" and started peeling potatoes and carrots for Sunday dinner. Is your spouse a golfer? Ride along. One couple at their church turned his golf outings into time together, with her serving as the cart chauffeur. Step 4: Affirm Reaffirm your commitment and your vows, especially when things are hard: "I meant it when I said for better, for worse." Affirmation can be lighthearted, too: "I'd marry you all over again." "You're still my favorite person in the world." "You're still the most attractive person I've ever seen." Affirm With a Simple Text Bethlie suggests a quick message on a hard day, such as "I'm praying for you" or "You're going to do great." Step 5: Forgive Ask for Forgiveness and Give It Freely Ask: "I know this was wrong. Will you forgive me?" But you can also forgive without being asked, simply because you love your spouse and the offense isn't worth holding on to. When a Hidden Hurt Turns Into Bitterness Dave shares a recent counseling session with a couple who had already seen several counselors. The wife listed everything her husband wouldn't change. Then the husband quietly said that during the hardest time of his life, she wasn't there for him. She didn't seem to even hear it. Whether or not his hurt was justified, it had turned to bitterness, and that bitterness was dividing them. Satan uses held-on hurts to undo every other step. He silences our speaking, makes us stop seeking, and encourages division. Forgive in God's Power, Not Your Own Bethlie reminds believers that Scripture commands us to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving, just as Christ forgave us. If you feel you can't forgive, get alone with God and ask for His forgiving power. Remembering how much He has forgiven you can be overwhelming. And ask the Lord whether the thing you're holding on to is really a big deal at all. Deal with unforgiveness quickly, before it grows. Coming Up Next Week Overcoming the Lies of Our Culture

In the final part of the mini-series Overcoming a Struggling Marriage, Dave and Bethlie bring the five-step series to a close. They show how to stop dividing and start doing life together. That means family dinners at the table instead of in front of the TV, walks after supper, date traditions, and even peeling potatoes side by side. Dave and Bethlie discuss the last two steps in this last mini-series episode. Affirm your commitment through words, vows, and simple texts that say "I'm here for you." And forgive, both by asking for forgiveness and by offering it before you're asked. Overcoming a Struggling Marriage (Part 3): Do Life Together, Affirm, and Forgive Help for marriages is everywhere: books, podcasts, and resources right on your phone. But as Dave and Bethlie warn, it's easy to heap up knowledge and never take it to heart. In Episode 336, the Youngs wrap up their mini-series with practical steps to put into practice this week, whether your marriage is truly struggling, a little stale, or just too busy. Episode Overview The five steps for overcoming a struggling marriage are Speak, Seek, Abandon, Affirm, and Forgive. Quick Review: Speak, Seek, Abandon <ul> <li>Speak words of affection, affirmation, gratitude, and prayer.</li> <li>Seek to do things together, serve each other, solve problems, and seek God together.</li> <li>Abandon criticism, negative statements, and division. That does not mean abandoning your spouse.</li> </ul> Abandon Division: Do Life Together Eat Together Aim for at least one meal a day together, ideally supper. For the Youngs, family table time was one of the most looked-forward-to parts of the day. Even with children at the table, husband and wife connect by hearing the same stories and caring for the kids as a team. Eating side by side in front of the TV isn't the same as eating together. Exercise Together Most of us live sedentary lives, so take a walk after dinner or work out together. Dave set up a small garage gym that the family still uses. Enjoy Entertainment Together, Wisely Ball games, plays, musicals, and traditions all count. For years, the Youngs' annual tradition was seeing A Christmas Carol at the Ohio Theatre. It was entertaining, and it was an investment in their marriage. Do the Extra Things Together <ul> <li>Bethlie connected with each of their children in the kitchen, where light conversations often turned into teaching moments (what the kids call "mom mode").</li> <li>As newly empty nesters, they found new connection when Dave asked, "What can I do?" and started peeling potatoes and carrots for Sunday dinner.</li> <li>Is your spouse a golfer? Ride along. One couple at their church turned his golf outings into time together, with her serving as the cart chauffeur.</li> </ul> Step 4: Affirm Reaffirm your commitment and your vows, especially when things are hard: "I meant it when I said for better, for worse." Affirmation can be lighthearted, too: <ul> <li>"I'd marry you all over again."</li> <li>"You're still my favorite person in the world."</li> <li>"You're still the most attractive person I've ever seen."</li> </ul> Affirm With a Simple Text Bethlie suggests a quick message on a hard day, such as "I'm praying for you" or "You're going to do great." Step 5: Forgive Ask for Forgiveness and Give It Freely Ask: "I know this was wrong. Will you forgive me?" But you can also forgive without being asked, simply because you love your spouse and the offense isn't worth holding on to. When a Hidden Hurt Turns Into Bitterness Dave shares a recent counseling session with a couple who had already seen several counselors. The wife listed everything her husband wouldn't change. Then the husband quietly said that during the hardest time of his life, she wasn't there for him. She didn't seem to even hear it. Whether or not his hurt was justified, it had turned to bitterness, and that bitterness was dividing them. Satan uses held-on hurts to undo every other step. He silences our speaking, makes us stop seeking, and encourages division. Forgive in God's Power, Not Your Own Bethlie reminds believers that Scripture commands us to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving, just as Christ forgave us. If you feel you can't forgive, get alone with God and ask for His forgiving power. Remembering how much He has forgiven you can be overwhelming. And ask the Lord whether the thing you're holding on to is really a big deal at all. Deal with unforgiveness quickly, before it grows. Coming Up Next Week Overcoming the Lies of Our Culture

Overcoming A Struggling Marriage Part 3

Overcoming a Struggling Marriage (Part 2): Abandon Criticism, Negativity, and Division Ask most couples if their marriage is struggling and they'll say, "No… but we're really busy." Jobs, church, and a calendar full of the kids' sports, music lessons, and fine arts can leave husbands and wives passing in the hallway. Some couples simply land in a stagnant season. In Episode 335, Dave and Bethlie Young continue their mini-series within the Overcoming series. They remind couples that it takes two to overcome a struggling marriage, and that the Christian's victory over the world comes through faith. Episode Overview After a quick review of last week's first two steps, the Youngs introduce the third step for overcoming a struggling marriage: Abandon. They're quick to clarify that this does not mean abandoning your spouse. It means letting go of three habits that quietly erode a Christian marriage. A Struggling Marriage Takes Two In counseling, the Youngs often find that each spouse wants to be closer but sees the fault only in the other person. Dave points to the Lord's message to the lukewarm church of Laodicea. Things weren't well, though they thought they were, yet the Lord loved them and promised to help them overcome. Review: Step 1 — Speak <ul dir="ltr"> <li>Husbands speak words of affection, and wives speak words of affirmation.</li> <li>Both spouses speak gratitude, praise, and prayer.</li> <li>Dave recalls the Youngs' interview with Dr. Gary Thomas about making good marriages great.</li> <li>In a recent counseling session, a wife immediately attacked her husband's account instead of sharing her own. Dave's response: Stop that.</li> <li>Check-in question: What words of affection or affirmation did you speak on purpose this week?</li> </ul> Review: Step 2 — Seek <ul dir="ltr"> <li>Seek to serve each other. Ask "What can I do for you?" instead of "What will my spouse do for me?"</li> <li>Seek to solve problems together. Be swift to hear and slow to speak, and learn to identify the real problem.</li> <li>Seek God together. Go to church, small groups, and Bible studies together, and above all, pray together to reconnect when you feel distant.</li> </ul> Step 3 — Abandon Abandon All Criticism Scripture teaches that as a person thinks in their heart, so are they. When a husband constantly criticizes his wife, she begins to see herself that way and live that way. The same is true when a wife criticizes her husband. The Youngs note they see this same pattern in children raised by negative parents. Bethlie adds that a husband who is constantly corrected for how he bathes or diapers the baby or shops for groceries will often just stop trying. That leaves the wife even more frustrated. How to Address Real Issues Without Criticism <ul dir="ltr"> <li>Ask a favor. Try "Would you do this for me?" instead of sarcasm or eye-rolling.</li> <li>Accept that different isn't wrong. If the baby gets changed, go with it.</li> <li>Talk with curiosity. Ask, "Is that how your family did it?"</li> <li>Save corrections for things that truly matter, and let the rest go.</li> <li>Wives, watch the perfectionism. As Bethlie puts it, get off your "control girl high horse."</li> </ul> Abandon All Negative Statements Sitcom-style sarcasm, like "You're such an idiot, ha ha," trained a generation to laugh at put-downs. In a real marriage, those words weaken and demolish. Abandon Division Anything that pulls you apart has to go. Dave points to Peter's call to "add to your faith." God works through addition and multiplication. Add to your marriage, and multiply your efforts: if your kind words didn't land last week, say them ten times more. Text them, email them, write them on the calendar, or tuck them in a lunchbox. How Technology and Busyness Divide the Christian Family Picking up from the Overcoming Technology series, the Youngs warn that couples can sit on the same couch or lie in the same bed on separate devices and still be divided. Children's activities can divide families too. Try this: Take your family out to eat, leave every phone in the car, and notice how hard conversation feels at first. This Week's Homework Sit down together and ask: <ol dir="ltr"> <li>Do you feel like we are divided in any way?</li> <li>What do you think we could do to improve that?</li> </ol> Part 3 continues next week with more on doing life together.

Overcoming a Struggling Marriage (Part 2): Abandon Criticism, Negativity, and Division Ask most couples if their marriage is struggling and they'll say, "No… but we're really busy." Jobs, church, and a calendar full of the kids' sports, music lessons, and fine arts can leave husbands and wives passing in the hallway. Some couples simply land in a stagnant season. In Episode 335, Dave and Bethlie Young continue their mini-series within the Overcoming series. They remind couples that it takes two to overcome a struggling marriage, and that the Christian's victory over the world comes through faith. Episode Overview After a quick review of last week's first two steps, the Youngs introduce the third step for overcoming a struggling marriage: Abandon. They're quick to clarify that this does not mean abandoning your spouse. It means letting go of three habits that quietly erode a Christian marriage. A Struggling Marriage Takes Two In counseling, the Youngs often find that each spouse wants to be closer but sees the fault only in the other person. Dave points to the Lord's message to the lukewarm church of Laodicea. Things weren't well, though they thought they were, yet the Lord loved them and promised to help them overcome. Review: Step 1 — Speak Husbands speak words of affection, and wives speak words of affirmation. Both spouses speak gratitude, praise, and prayer. Dave recalls the Youngs' interview with Dr. Gary Thomas about making good marriages great. In a recent counseling session, a wife immediately attacked her husband's account instead of sharing her own. Dave's response: Stop that. Check-in question: What words of affection or affirmation did you speak on purpose this week? Review: Step 2 — Seek Seek to serve each other. Ask "What can I do for you?" instead of "What will my spouse do for me?" Seek to solve problems together. Be swift to hear and slow to speak, and learn to identify the real problem. Seek God together. Go to church, small groups, and Bible studies together, and above all, pray together to reconnect when you feel distant. Step 3 — Abandon Abandon All Criticism Scripture teaches that as a person thinks in their heart, so are they. When a husband constantly criticizes his wife, she begins to see herself that way and live that way. The same is true when a wife criticizes her husband. The Youngs note they see this same pattern in children raised by negative parents. Bethlie adds that a husband who is constantly corrected for how he bathes or diapers the baby or shops for groceries will often just stop trying. That leaves the wife even more frustrated. How to Address Real Issues Without Criticism Ask a favor. Try "Would you do this for me?" instead of sarcasm or eye-rolling. Accept that different isn't wrong. If the baby gets changed, go with it. Talk with curiosity. Ask, "Is that how your family did it?" Save corrections for things that truly matter, and let the rest go. Wives, watch the perfectionism. As Bethlie puts it, get off your "control girl high horse." Abandon All Negative Statements Sitcom-style sarcasm, like "You're such an idiot, ha ha," trained a generation to laugh at put-downs. In a real marriage, those words weaken and demolish. Abandon Division Anything that pulls you apart has to go. Dave points to Peter's call to "add to your faith." God works through addition and multiplication. Add to your marriage, and multiply your efforts: if your kind words didn't land last week, say them ten times more. Text them, email them, write them on the calendar, or tuck them in a lunchbox. How Technology and Busyness Divide the Christian Family Picking up from the Overcoming Technology series, the Youngs warn that couples can sit on the same couch or lie in the same bed on separate devices and still be divided. Children's activities can divide families too. Try this: Take your family out to eat, leave every phone in the car, and notice how hard conversation feels at first. This Week's Homework Sit down together and ask: Do you feel like we are divided in any way? What do you think we could do to improve that? Part 3 continues next week with more on doing life together.

Overcoming a Struggling Marriage (Part 2): Abandon Criticism, Negativity, and Division Ask most couples if their marriage is struggling and they'll say, "No… but we're really busy." Jobs, church, and a calendar full of the kids' sports, music lessons, and fine arts can leave husbands and wives passing in the hallway. Some couples simply land in a stagnant season. In Episode 335, Dave and Bethlie Young continue their mini-series within the Overcoming series. They remind couples that it takes two to overcome a struggling marriage, and that the Christian's victory over the world comes through faith. Episode Overview After a quick review of last week's first two steps, the Youngs introduce the third step for overcoming a struggling marriage: Abandon. They're quick to clarify that this does not mean abandoning your spouse. It means letting go of three habits that quietly erode a Christian marriage. A Struggling Marriage Takes Two In counseling, the Youngs often find that each spouse wants to be closer but sees the fault only in the other person. Dave points to the Lord's message to the lukewarm church of Laodicea. Things weren't well, though they thought they were, yet the Lord loved them and promised to help them overcome. Review: Step 1 — Speak <ul> <li>Husbands speak words of affection, and wives speak words of affirmation.</li> <li>Both spouses speak gratitude, praise, and prayer.</li> <li>Dave recalls the Youngs' interview with Dr. Gary Thomas about making good marriages great.</li> <li>In a recent counseling session, a wife immediately attacked her husband's account instead of sharing her own. Dave's response: Stop that.</li> <li>Check-in question: What words of affection or affirmation did you speak on purpose this week?</li> </ul> Review: Step 2 — Seek <ul> <li>Seek to serve each other. Ask "What can I do for you?" instead of "What will my spouse do for me?"</li> <li>Seek to solve problems together. Be swift to hear and slow to speak, and learn to identify the real problem.</li> <li>Seek God together. Go to church, small groups, and Bible studies together, and above all, pray together to reconnect when you feel distant.</li> </ul> Step 3 — Abandon Abandon All Criticism Scripture teaches that as a person thinks in their heart, so are they. When a husband constantly criticizes his wife, she begins to see herself that way and live that way. The same is true when a wife criticizes her husband. The Youngs note they see this same pattern in children raised by negative parents. Bethlie adds that a husband who is constantly corrected for how he bathes or diapers the baby or shops for groceries will often just stop trying. That leaves the wife even more frustrated. How to Address Real Issues Without Criticism <ul> <li>Ask a favor. Try "Would you do this for me?" instead of sarcasm or eye-rolling.</li> <li>Accept that different isn't wrong. If the baby gets changed, go with it.</li> <li>Talk with curiosity. Ask, "Is that how your family did it?"</li> <li>Save corrections for things that truly matter, and let the rest go.</li> <li>Wives, watch the perfectionism. As Bethlie puts it, get off your "control girl high horse."</li> </ul> Abandon All Negative Statements Sitcom-style sarcasm, like "You're such an idiot, ha ha," trained a generation to laugh at put-downs. In a real marriage, those words weaken and demolish. Abandon Division Anything that pulls you apart has to go. Dave points to Peter's call to "add to your faith." God works through addition and multiplication. Add to your marriage, and multiply your efforts: if your kind words didn't land last week, say them ten times more. Text them, email them, write them on the calendar, or tuck them in a lunchbox. How Technology and Busyness Divide the Christian Family Picking up from the Overcoming Technology series, the Youngs warn that couples can sit on the same couch or lie in the same bed on separate devices and still be divided. Children's activities can divide families too. Try this: Take your family out to eat, leave every phone in the car, and notice how hard conversation feels at first. This Week's Homework Sit down together and ask: <ol> <li>Do you feel like we are divided in any way?</li> <li>What do you think we could do to improve that?</li> </ol> Part 3 continues next week with more on doing life together.

Overcoming a Struggling Marriage Part 2

A struggling marriage doesn't have to become a doomed marriage. In Part 1 of Overcoming a Struggling Marriage, Dave and Bethlie share the first two of five biblical steps for turning a Christian marriage around, even in the busy years of raising children. Step one is SPEAK. Husbands give words of affection, wives give words of affirmation, and both spouses offer gratitude, praise, and prayer. Step two is SEEK. That means seeking each other out, serving each other, solving problems together, and seeking God together, including a simple church-pew habit that protects your marriage. The episode is practical, and a little funny (yes, the bedroom pillows come up). It's for every Christian family that wants more than "just hanging on." Why a Struggling Marriage Isn't a Doomed Marriage Marriages struggle for many reasons: <ul dir="ltr"> <li>Busy seasons of work and raising young children</li> <li>Empty-nest adjustments after years centered on the kids</li> <li>Phones and screens pulling spouses into separate corners</li> <li>Deeper hurts, such as dishonesty or feeling uncared for</li> </ul> The first move is refusing the lie that struggle means the end. Step 1: Speak Speech is one of God's greatest gifts to people. In a struggling marriage, couples tend to go silent, or they let loose unkind and unhelpful words. Dave points to Scripture's call to avoid corrupt communication and to build each other up. He also cites Solomon's warning in Proverbs that careless words can pierce like a sword. Husbands: Speak Words of Affection A wife needs to hear "I love you," and Dave suggests adding the word because: "I love you because…" That meets her heart's question: Am I loved enough? Wives: Speak Words of Affirmation A husband's heart asks: Do you respect me? Am I good enough? Bethlie challenges wives to resist the cultural habit of picking men apart, both at home, among friends, and on social media. She shares a testimony from the Seeking Him Bible study by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Tim Grissom. In it, a wife repented of being controlling and critical, and her husband said her new encouragement let him thrive. Both Spouses: Speak Gratitude, Praise, and Prayer <ul dir="ltr"> <li>Gratitude: Don't take a hardworking husband or a devoted wife for granted. Say thank you often.</li> <li>Praise: The praise you need should come from inside your home, not from strangers at the grocery store.</li> <li>Prayer: Pray for your spouse instead of growing bitter. Send a text that says, "I prayed for you today."</li> </ul> Bethlie shares a helpful principle attributed to Mrs. Graham: Take your praise to your husband, and take your complaints to the Lord. Step 2: Seek Seek Each Other Out and Do Things Together Put the phones down. Don't settle into separate rooms. Play board or card games, watch a movie, and laugh together. Don't let the world separate you. Seek to Serve Each Other Get the snack. Run the errand. Wipe down the sink. Learn how your spouse likes things done, even the order of the bed pillows, and turn small irritations into acts of service. Seek to Solve Problems Together Listen well, identify the real problem, give grace, and learn to let things go. (The Youngs' earlier conflict resolution series goes deeper on this.) Seek God Together Worship together, sit together in church, attend small groups and Sunday school together, and pray together. Bethlie shares advice from Pat and Susie Del Porto: don't let your children sit between you in church. Sitting shoulder to shoulder under the Word of God softens hearts and sweetens a marriage.

A struggling marriage doesn't have to become a doomed marriage. In Part 1 of Overcoming a Struggling Marriage, Dave and Bethlie share the first two of five biblical steps for turning a Christian marriage around, even in the busy years of raising children. Step one is SPEAK. Husbands give words of affection, wives give words of affirmation, and both spouses offer gratitude, praise, and prayer. Step two is SEEK. That means seeking each other out, serving each other, solving problems together, and seeking God together, including a simple church-pew habit that protects your marriage. The episode is practical, and a little funny (yes, the bedroom pillows come up). It's for every Christian family that wants more than "just hanging on." Why a Struggling Marriage Isn't a Doomed Marriage Marriages struggle for many reasons: Busy seasons of work and raising young children Empty-nest adjustments after years centered on the kids Phones and screens pulling spouses into separate corners Deeper hurts, such as dishonesty or feeling uncared for The first move is refusing the lie that struggle means the end. Step 1: Speak Speech is one of God's greatest gifts to people. In a struggling marriage, couples tend to go silent, or they let loose unkind and unhelpful words. Dave points to Scripture's call to avoid corrupt communication and to build each other up. He also cites Solomon's warning in Proverbs that careless words can pierce like a sword. Husbands: Speak Words of Affection A wife needs to hear "I love you," and Dave suggests adding the word because: "I love you because…" That meets her heart's question: Am I loved enough? Wives: Speak Words of Affirmation A husband's heart asks: Do you respect me? Am I good enough? Bethlie challenges wives to resist the cultural habit of picking men apart, both at home, among friends, and on social media. She shares a testimony from the Seeking Him Bible study by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Tim Grissom. In it, a wife repented of being controlling and critical, and her husband said her new encouragement let him thrive. Both Spouses: Speak Gratitude, Praise, and Prayer Gratitude: Don't take a hardworking husband or a devoted wife for granted. Say thank you often. Praise: The praise you need should come from inside your home, not from strangers at the grocery store. Prayer: Pray for your spouse instead of growing bitter. Send a text that says, "I prayed for you today." Bethlie shares a helpful principle attributed to Mrs. Graham: Take your praise to your husband, and take your complaints to the Lord. Step 2: Seek Seek Each Other Out and Do Things Together Put the phones down. Don't settle into separate rooms. Play board or card games, watch a movie, and laugh together. Don't let the world separate you. Seek to Serve Each Other Get the snack. Run the errand. Wipe down the sink. Learn how your spouse likes things done, even the order of the bed pillows, and turn small irritations into acts of service. Seek to Solve Problems Together Listen well, identify the real problem, give grace, and learn to let things go. (The Youngs' earlier conflict resolution series goes deeper on this.) Seek God Together Worship together, sit together in church, attend small groups and Sunday school together, and pray together. Bethlie shares advice from Pat and Susie Del Porto: don't let your children sit between you in church. Sitting shoulder to shoulder under the Word of God softens hearts and sweetens a marriage.

A struggling marriage doesn't have to become a doomed marriage. In Part 1 of Overcoming a Struggling Marriage, Dave and Bethlie share the first two of five biblical steps for turning a Christian marriage around, even in the busy years of raising children. Step one is SPEAK. Husbands give words of affection, wives give words of affirmation, and both spouses offer gratitude, praise, and prayer. Step two is SEEK. That means seeking each other out, serving each other, solving problems together, and seeking God together, including a simple church-pew habit that protects your marriage. The episode is practical, and a little funny (yes, the bedroom pillows come up). It's for every Christian family that wants more than "just hanging on." Why a Struggling Marriage Isn't a Doomed Marriage Marriages struggle for many reasons: <ul> <li>Busy seasons of work and raising young children</li> <li>Empty-nest adjustments after years centered on the kids</li> <li>Phones and screens pulling spouses into separate corners</li> <li>Deeper hurts, such as dishonesty or feeling uncared for</li> </ul> The first move is refusing the lie that struggle means the end. Step 1: Speak Speech is one of God's greatest gifts to people. In a struggling marriage, couples tend to go silent, or they let loose unkind and unhelpful words. Dave points to Scripture's call to avoid corrupt communication and to build each other up. He also cites Solomon's warning in Proverbs that careless words can pierce like a sword. Husbands: Speak Words of Affection A wife needs to hear "I love you," and Dave suggests adding the word because: "I love you because…" That meets her heart's question: Am I loved enough? Wives: Speak Words of Affirmation A husband's heart asks: Do you respect me? Am I good enough? Bethlie challenges wives to resist the cultural habit of picking men apart, both at home, among friends, and on social media. She shares a testimony from the Seeking Him Bible study by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Tim Grissom. In it, a wife repented of being controlling and critical, and her husband said her new encouragement let him thrive. Both Spouses: Speak Gratitude, Praise, and Prayer <ul> <li>Gratitude: Don't take a hardworking husband or a devoted wife for granted. Say thank you often.</li> <li>Praise: The praise you need should come from inside your home, not from strangers at the grocery store.</li> <li>Prayer: Pray for your spouse instead of growing bitter. Send a text that says, "I prayed for you today."</li> </ul> Bethlie shares a helpful principle attributed to Mrs. Graham: Take your praise to your husband, and take your complaints to the Lord. Step 2: Seek Seek Each Other Out and Do Things Together Put the phones down. Don't settle into separate rooms. Play board or card games, watch a movie, and laugh together. Don't let the world separate you. Seek to Serve Each Other Get the snack. Run the errand. Wipe down the sink. Learn how your spouse likes things done, even the order of the bed pillows, and turn small irritations into acts of service. Seek to Solve Problems Together Listen well, identify the real problem, give grace, and learn to let things go. (The Youngs' earlier conflict resolution series goes deeper on this.) Seek God Together Worship together, sit together in church, attend small groups and Sunday school together, and pray together. Bethlie shares advice from Pat and Susie Del Porto: don't let your children sit between you in church. Sitting shoulder to shoulder under the Word of God softens hearts and sweetens a marriage.

Overcoming a Struggling Marriage Part 1: Speak and Seek

Q & A

Wisdom From Proverbs Part 6

Wisdom From Proverbs Part 5

Easter Hope

Join Dave and Bethlie as they continue this study through Proverbs.

Join Dave and Bethlie as they continue this study through Proverbs.

Wisdom From Proverbs Part 4

Wisdom From Proverbs Part 3

Join Dave and Bethlie as they continue this study through Proverbs.

Wisdom From Proverbs Part 2

Wisdom From Proverbs Part 1

Turning In-Laws Into Family

Join Dave and Bethlie as the sit down with author Gary Thomas to discuss the Loving Him Well book as well others! <a href="http://www.garythomas.com">www.garythomas.com</a>

Join Dave and Bethlie as the sit down with author Gary Thomas to discuss the Loving Him Well book as well others! www.garythomas.com

Join Dave and Bethlie as the sit down with author Gary Thomas to discuss the Loving Him Well book as well others! <a href="http://www.garythomas.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">www.garythomas.com</a>

Meet The Author

A weekly podcast hosted by Dave and Bethlie Young who have spoken to thousands of people across America and around the world. Their heart is to encourage, direct, and strengthen your marriage, family, and ministry life. 
You will find humor, helpful teaching, and great encouragement. 
Join them each week as together they share Biblical and practical insights.

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A weekly podcast hosted by Dave and Bethlie Young who have spoken to thousands of people across America and around the world. Their heart is to encourage, direct, and strengthen your marriage, family, and ministry life. You will find humor, helpful teaching, and great encouragement. Join them each week as together they share Biblical and practical insights.

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