I'm restraining myself. Sometimes I really just want to rant about something in this stupid world, but then I feel embarrassed by it, as if you'll judge me too much for saying something controversial or "wrong". But what if you don't actually understand what am saying? Or what if you think I don't understand you, but I do? Why is dialogue so hard anyways?

I want the caution to accept things I cannot change, the daring to change the things I possibly can, and the wherewithall to know the difference.

Do you believe in magic? Fate, destiny, astrology, tarot? When are weird events more than just coincidences? Maybe the energy we put into the world manifests in tangible ways. Or are we just imagining things?

Ok I admit it: I'm getting older. I care a little less about new music, career obsessions and even girls! Us millennials are no longer the "young people". And I'm noticing small things in Zoomers (Gen Z, born post 1996) that make me conscious of a subtle generation gap. Is it possible teens and college kids care way more about the pandemic, for instance? Are more supportive of a nanny state and authoritarianism? That's probably too vague, but they're coming of age in this very time.

Also, "ageism" (as discrimination) is real. I didn't talk about this, but wanted to put it out there!

It's ok to acknowledge mistakes - we all make them! I'm ok with embracing my regrets, and trying to use them to gain wisdom through accrued life experience. It's hard though, especially when obsesssing over every missed opportunity, every wrong turn in life while lying in bed at night... We don't make it any easier for each other, the way we scrutinize our social utterances, our trendy beliefs or angry rants - as if those momentary thoughts define each of us as people. Such a rigid, unforgiving world we live in. Do we need it?

Homelessness is bad. That shouldn't be a controversial statement. Why aren't we doing more to solve it?? Is this really a politically divisive or difficult topic? The morality of it is clear: to let more and more people live in the streets is pathetic - it's an embarrassment! Let's honestly address this.

I'm not appreciating whatever rubric is being used to determine what is "essential" these days. I know what I need in my life, and I don't feel like the government understands it. I appreciate a concern for public health, but I think we're losing track of balance these days.

My take on the DC stuff, radical belief systems these days, threats to our livelihoods and how it's all just a bunch of noise, in a way. It's important that we regulate our emotional responses to all things, and prioritize in our lives things that actually matter to us, really. Like love, hobbies, bonding, etc, you know?

I'm in California for the winter, and I'm identifying with it.

"Zwischen den Jahren" is the theme of this quick podcast ep. I'm on a bit of a holiday with my parents and brother, recording this in a very slow, somewhat dulled mindset. I talk about some holiday movies and what it means to be traveling right now.