This week Matthew and Kim sit down with musician Mindi Abair and, wine expert Eric Guerra. This couple met in their early 40’s and have been inseparable for the last eight years. Eric, previously married, brought two daughters into the relationship, and Mindi, a single woman, had to step out of her comfort zone and jump into family life. Each having successful individual careers in the music and wine label industries, they had everything but a partnership. This fun-loving duo is not only a kickass couple but business partners in their unique wine and art experience. Keep listening to hear how they have adapted to each other's lives seamlessly and maintain their commitment, trust, and loyalty in love and business. 

Key Topics 
-learning from other successful relationships 
-Bringing children from a different marriage into your relationship 
-getting ahead of conflicts
-Learning vulnerability 

Quotes 

“One of the initial things I loved about him. He is this amazingly loyal, just real guy and not everyone is that.” - Mindi 

“She’s all in, that was it. She’s the only person I ever dated that when we started to fall in love she was all in and there was no question about that at all about anything.” -Eric 

“There things that break up relationships all the time, money, finances, how we deal with challenges with the kids or careers. Never once have I ever questioned the trust the loyalty the decisions she’s made that involve us.” -Eric 

“Here I was, probably the one woman on the entire planet who didn’t have kids, and I get with a guy who has two, two girls. And it’s not 50/50 custody it was 100% custody, he was raising his daughters himself and that was something that was not in my comfort zone.” -Mindi 

“I think with the commitment aspect, we both had to go out of our comfort zone and become a team and learn from each other and our new path and I think that was something that made us stronger.” -Mindi 

“I’m the chattier person in real life, maybe I'm not the more open person. I’m more kind of not as open about talking about feelings or things that could be incredibly bad not to talk about so I love that he is that personality that will bring it up.” -Mindi 

“It’s hard to be vulnerable. I grew up a woman in a man’s world in music. Vulnerability is not the key to success necessarily, but in a relationship it is.” - Mindi 

“People are commenting on our relationship more than the wine, more than the music and then they say holy

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Order the book: "Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage, and Sex" by Matthew Hoffman Book – Kickass Husband or find it on Amazon.

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This week Matthew and Kim take a deep dive into the third pillar of successful relationships, conflict resolution. No matter how healthy your relationship is, it is human nature to fall into conflict from time to time. When we hear the word conflict we think of yelling, arguing, and negativity… but it does not have to be that way. Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional. Running into conflict with your partner can bring you closer by learning to understand one another on a deeper level. If you feel like you and your partner always fall into the same rhythm of criticism, contempt and defensiveness, you are not alone. Tune in this week to learn to resolve conflict in a healthy and productive way with your partner. 

Key Ideas

-Tools and skills in conflict resolution 

-The three states of every relationship 

-Conflict resolution isn't about changing your partner 

-The Four Horsemen Theory 

-How women deal with their feelings vs men 

Quotes: 

“Conflict resolution is a skill, it’s learned, you have got to practice it, you have to develop it, you have to grow it and learn how to use it.”- Matthew 

“Human tendency is to go in and try to fix it, or go in and try to be defensive and we have to practice the good skills and learn how to manage the conflict to be able to resolve or even get beyond it.” -Kim 

“It’s about I and You when you're in conflict you’re not commenting and saying what the other person did but you’re saying I feel, I need… because in using those I statements you're communicating your state in an effort to help your spouse understand.” -Matthew 

“There’s really always 2 realities… Everybody in every situation has the right to feel how they feel... It doesn’t mean I have to feel the same way but I need to validate and make sure that you know that I understand how you feel and why you feel that way   ” -Matthew

 “You gotta figure out what the dream is within the conflict, because there is a conflict but the dream means what's the underlying issue or what do you really want to happen here.” -Matthew

“If I could give advice to men in general, women really need to talk about and express their feelings… a lot of times women will bring it up in a heated way and it's not because they are in conflict or coming at their spouse they just need t

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Order the book: "Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage, and Sex" by Matthew Hoffman Book – Kickass Husband or find it on Amazon.

For access to workshops with professional therapists, keynote speakers, hot seat training and more exclusive content join our online learning community at: https://matthewphoffman.com.

Find Joseph at: https://www.josephwarren.net/blowuprocks.html

Joseph’s podcast: Your FIRST $100K

This week Matthew and Kim recap the key advice from their conversation with couple Joseph and Falon Warren. Joseph grew up in an unhealthy environment with turmoil and shame while Falon had a healthy and gentle upbringing. These two came into their relationship with different learned behaviors that kept them from having fluid communication and the ability to effectively resolve conflict. Throughout the two years they have been married, Falon has had to work on her ability to articulate exactly what she is feeling to Joseph. Joseph has learned how to listen more attentively and seek greater understanding of his wife’s feelings and emotions. Tune in to hear what this dynamic, committed couple has learned along the way about; marriage resets, handling conflict in public, parenting and understanding how to speak the love language their partner truly desires. 

For access to workshops with professional therapists, keynote speakers, hot seat training and more exclusive content join our online learning community at: https://matthewphoffman.com

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Pre-Order Kickass Husband 

Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage, and Sex by Matthew Hoffman

https://matthewphoffman.com

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Order the book: "Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage, and Sex" by Matthew Hoffman Book – Kickass Husband or find it on Amazon.

For access to workshops with professional therapists, keynote speakers, hot seat training and more exclusive content join our online learning community at: https://matthewphoffman.com.

Find Joseph at: https://www.josephwarren.net/blowuprocks.html
Josephs podcast: Your FIRST $100K

In this week's episode, Matthew and Kim talk to Joseph and Falon Warren. Coming up on their two-year wedding anniversary they share a daughter and baby on the way. These two really prove opposites do attract. Coming from polar opposite upbringings they each brought unique learned behaviors into their relationship. One being the quiet, non-confrontational partner and the other being the ‘say it how it is’ partner, they had to learn and adapt to become the kickass couple they are today. Tune in to hear their take on parenting, conflict resolution, and transforming negative behaviors for the better. 

Key Topics:

-Being a united front in front of children 

-How to improve communication 

-Marriage reset 

-The problem with a lack of conflict 

Quotes: 

“Never fight in public, never correct your spouse in public… always correct each other behind closed doors, always complement each other in public.” -Joseph 

“Compliment your spouse even if you’re mad at them, even if you disagree with them, have their back in front of the kids, and then go behind closed doors and say I completely disagree with that decision let’s talk about it.” -Joseph 

“We both said prior to marriage, divorce is not in our vocabulary. So if we’re getting married we are fully 100% committed... there is no just-in-case for us.” - Falon 

“You get out a piece of paper and a pen… you sit down together… and say there are some things I want to get off my chest...and it sets up a super safe feeling environment where I can say how I feel to my husband and he's not responding… he's just writing down notes and then it's his turn” -Falon 

“For the first time, it was a year into the marriage… and the first year we had never gotten into a fight in the 2 years we dated, an argument, a disagreement and that was really concerning me.” Joseph 

“The more I speak up, the more often I do it, the more often I go to him and say, hey I’m feeling this way, or thinking this, the easier it gets each time because every time I do it he’s responding with love and forgiveness.” -Falon

“You don't love people the way you want to love them, you love them the way they want to be loved and what they need and I think that's a real pearl that all couples struggle with even if you know it doesn't mean you do it.”

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Order the book: "Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage, and Sex" by Matthew Hoffman Book – Kickass Husband or find it on Amazon.

For access to workshops with professional therapists, keynote speakers, hot seat training and more exclusive content join our online learning community at: https://matthewphoffman.com.

Check out The Institute for Soul Healing: https://www.rodgerscc.com/counseling/our-staff/drs-tom-and-bev-rodgers/

Follow them 

Facebook @rodgerschristiancounseling

Twitter: @SoulHealingLov

On today's episode Matthew and Kim recap their interview with Tom and Beverly Rogers. Tom and Beverly used their education and personal experience to develop the Soul Healing model now used in 25 states and 6 countries and at their own counseling institution. In this episode we examine how baggage like divorce and infidelity affected Tom and Matthews relationships. We also discuss prioritizing your spouse over your children, expressing your needs and the importance of  being vulnerable. Whether you are in a struggling relationship or just looking to improve your life, tune in to this amazing knowledge packed episode. 

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For access to workshops with professional therapists, keynote speakers, hot seat training and more exclusive content join our online learning community at: https://matthewphoffman.com

Pre-order ‘Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage, and Sex’ by Matthew Hoffman at https://matthewphoffman.com/ 

And don't forget to leave us a review! 

Contact us: [email protected]

Website: https://matthewphoffman.com/kickass-couples-nation/

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Order the book: "Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage, and Sex" by Matthew Hoffman Book – Kickass Husband or find it on Amazon.

For access to workshops with professional therapists, keynote speakers, hot seat training and more exclusive content join our online learning community at: https://matthewphoffman.com.

Check out The Institute for Soul Healing: https://www.rodgerscc.com/counseling/our-staff/drs-tom-and-bev-rodgers/

Follow them 

Facebook @rodgerschristiancounseling

Twitter: @SoulHealingLov

This week Matthew and Kim interview professional therapists and married couple Tom and Beverly Rodgers. Through their 44 year marriage they have developed successful love models which they have practiced for over 30 years at The Institute for Soul Healing in Charlotte, North Carolina. The power couple are also authors to 6 books focusing on the healing of deep wounds from the past using neurobiological, psychological, and biblical techniques. Tom and Beverly nearly reached the breaking point in their relationship when they decided to change their behavior patterns by healing from past trauma. Tune in to find out how this couple changed the course of their marriage and are now spreading their wisdom to other struggling couples. 

Key Ideas:

-The Soul Healing Love model 

-How Tom and Beverly healed their marriage from its breaking point

-How deep-rooted issues can cause surface level problems in a relationship 

-Exercises you and your partner can do to dig deeper into your need, desires and emotions

-The three steps to conflict communication 

-The importance of empathy and how to have more of it

Quotes: 

“The thing that makes a marriage good is thinking that each person got the better end of the deal and I definitely think that’s true with me, I definitely traded up in the draft with Bev” - Tom 

“ We came from divorced homes, so if we got mad we’d say ‘it’s not gonna work,’ ‘we just need to get a divorce.’...and one day I said we can’t say that anymore...what you speak is your destiny. ” -Beverly 

“Commitment has no exits.. And exits are things that you are passionate about more than you're passionate about working on your marriage.” -Beverly 

“About 65% of marital conflicts don’t come to an agreement.. But a healthy couple can actually dialogue.” - Beverly 

“We say that this phrase will heal your marriage, guaranteed ‘honey you may be right’ … which is really really tough to say

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Order the book: "Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage, and Sex" by Matthew Hoffman Book – Kickass Husband or find it on Amazon.

For access to workshops with professional therapists, keynote speakers, hot seat training and more exclusive content join our online learning community at: https://matthewphoffman.com.

Find Jeff and Jessica Jennings at: 

https://www.greatestmarriageever.com/homepage

Follow them:

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Facebook: @greatestmarriage.ever

In this recap, Matthew and Kim break down the key advice from their interview with licensed therapists and married couple, Jeff and Jessica. In this episode, we focus on maintaining individuality in a relationship, telling the truth with love, and understanding the reasons behind our conflicts. It’s the little things that can truly transform your relationship. Through personal and professional experience, Jeff and Jessica give outstanding tips and tricks backed by psychology to iimprove your #1 relationship. 

Follow us at:

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Facebook: @kickasscouplesnation 

Twitter: @kickasscouples

For access to workshops with professional therapists, keynote speakers, hot seat training and more exclusive content join our online learning community at: https://matthewphoffman.com

Pre-order ‘Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage, and Sex’ by Matthew Hoffman at https://matthewphoffman.com/ 

And don't forget to leave us a review! 

Contact us: [email protected]

Website: https://matthewphoffman.com/kickass-couples-nation/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Kickasscouplesnation

Instagram: @kickasscouplesnation
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YouTube: @kickasscouples

Order the book: "Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage, and Sex" by Matthew Hoffman Book – Kickass Husband or find it on Amazon.

For access to workshops with professional therapists, keynote speakers, hot seat training and more exclusive content join our online learning community at: https://matthewphoffman.com.

Find Jeff and Jessica Jennings at: 

https://www.greatestmarriageever.com/homepage

Follow them:

Instagram: @greatestmarriageever

Facebook: @greatestmarriage.ever

In today's episode, Matthew and Kim host Jeff and Jessica, husband & wife, and partners in their marriage counseling practice ‘Greatest Marriage Ever.’ This power couple met while getting their master's degrees in professional counseling in 2002 and now reside in Charlottesville, VA. With a combined 40 years of experience, they have helped thousands of couples rekindle a deep connection through cutting-edge neuroscience, relationship research, and positive psychology. Tune for incredible advice from the relationship professionals themselves. 

Key Topics

-Things you want to bring from your past into your marriage v.s the things you want to change

-Understanding the process (collective needs and fears) behind a conflict 

-How to break the ice during a fight 

-Learning to be vulnerable, not defensive

Quotes

“Whatever wounds, whatever struggles we have are going to come forward in the marriage, and that's the point. The point is to really create a safe space so each of you, regardless of where you come from, can face these things.” -Jessica 

“Given my background and experience, commitment means you stay, you stick through it hell or high water”- Jeff 

“A lot of time conflict resolution has to do with understanding what's going on underneath... It's not the content, necessarily... What's underneath that anger.” -Jeff

“It would be this icy cold feeling in the home for 2 or 3 days where we're not really talking, but we've learned to recognize that cycle when it's happening a lot sooner and be able to call it out and be able to communicate what we need from each other” -Jeff

“It's easy to point out the bad guy… but there is no bad guy, you are both hurting, and you are needing to feel safe in order to reconnect. The cycle is really the bad guy.” -Jessica

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For access to workshops with professional therapists, keynote speakers, hot seat training and more exclusive content join our online learning community at:

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Order the book: "Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage, and Sex" by Matthew Hoffman Book – Kickass Husband or find it on Amazon.

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Find out the key take-aways and pearls of wisdom that Jason & Therese shared on how they have learned to prioritize one another and apply the principles of the 3 C’s in their own relationship.

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YouTube: @kickasscouples

Order the book: "Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage, and Sex" by Matthew Hoffman Book – Kickass Husband or find it on Amazon.

For access to workshops with professional therapists, keynote speakers, hot seat training and more exclusive content join our online learning community at: https://matthewphoffman.com.

In today’s episode, Matthew and Kim speak to Jason and Therese Benedict, two successful business owners with a unique story. Jason and Therese are co-founders of The Automation Agency. Therese is also an author with an Amazon best-selling novel titled ‘Days Go By, Not Love’. Despite having both faced extraordinarily difficult childhoods, their deep love for each other and great understanding broke the cycle of abuse and neglect. Their marriage has withstood its challenges, but their bond has proven to be unbreakable. Their testimonies are powerful and inspiring.

Key Topics: 

Overcoming childhood hardships 

Breaking the cycle of abuse and unloving parents

Rules and boundaries 

Self-worth

Quotes: 

“One of the things that Terese and I have always done is we’ve embraced each other’s love and we’ve embraced the hardships we’ve embraced the beautiful triumphs but we do it hand in hand.” - Jason

“Your childhood does form you and I wouldn’t change anything that I’ve been through I think the challenges and the hardships that I went through helped me to become a stronger person today, it helped me become a better husband, a better lover, it helped me to recognize the lack of love and what that can do to a person.” - Jason

“My mom was not loved... So she didn’t know how to give the love to love us...so when I had children I wanted to make sure I broke that link.”- Therese  

“To commit is to never ever take for granted the relationship that we have and the love that is being given. Our love, we are putting in each other’s hands and we’re asking those hands to make sure that love is safe and taken care of.” - Therese 

“I believe in no matter what situation you’re in or what degree of frustration you are in, be good at biting your lip because it’s not worth hurting the person you love because of that moment” Therese 

“A thought is priceless… when I know Jason is going to be having a really difficult day I’ll say ‘okay do you need anything’ and then we come up with a plan... ‘If you need anything, text me’ even though our offices are side by side.”- Therese  

“When you have a servant’s heart and you put everybody else’s needs in front of your needs and your wants, it’s the greatest gift you can give to people in your life.” -Jason 

“I was in abusive situations… but it showed me that it was worth waiting for the right person and I was worth loving” - T

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Order the book: "Kickass Husband: Winning at Life, Marriage, and Sex" by Matthew Hoffman Book – Kickass Husband or find it on Amazon.

For access to workshops with professional therapists, keynote speakers, hot seat training and more exclusive content join our online learning community at: https://matthewphoffman.com.