In an episode that never closes, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a horror pairing to his favorite movie of the year, Hydra. After spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about Waffle House hash browns, Vanessa counters with the slapstick splatter classic Blood Feast. But can the absurdity of Blood Feast really pair with the slow-burn drama of Hydra? How can Elijah be this hyped about a movie that only has two fight scenes? And how does Vanessa take her hash browns? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!  

The official snack pairing of Hydra and Blood Diner is a veggie burger with a tandoori sauce.  

This episode is dedicated to Smear, the goodest boy.

In this dreamy episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find a martial arts pairing to the all-time great slasher A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. After establishing that Vanessa is a real piece of work, Elijah counters with the sleep-fighting extravaganza Sleeping Fist. But does it pair as well as Avenging Eagle would have? What kill in Dream Warriors makes Vanessa squirm? And which of your hosts is the more capable sleep fighter? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!  

The official snack pairing for A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors and Sleeping Fist is a glass of chardonnay and Nadiya Hussain’s beetroot feta pasta.  

 This episode was brought to you by the ghost of a circus child

In an episode with a strong character arc, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for the Shaw Brothers classic Avenging Eagle. After determining that any movie with a group of themed assassins slaps, Vanessa counters with the buddy horror zomcom classic, Shaun of the Dead. Is it a better pick than Elijah’s Nightmare on Elm Street suggestion? Why is Vanessa adapting the 2006 movie Smokin’ Aces into a graphic novel? And will this be the episode that ends Vanessa and Elijah’s marriage? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion!  

The official snack pairing for Avenging Eagle and Shaun of the Dead is Bugles and salted peanuts.  

This episode was brought to you Vanessa’s commitment to a bit.

In an episode that absolutely demolishes the previous podcast record for “most on-air crying,” Vanessa challenges Elijah to find a pairing for the mockumentary masterpiece of dread that is Lake Mungo. After determining that it’s worse to cry in an M&M store than a White Castle, Elijah counters with what is possibly the greatest 6th film in a franchise of all time, Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning. But what does a movie about bioengineered beefcakes have in common with a slow-burn story of a haunting? Why can’t Elijah say “Lake Mungo” in a normal voice? And does Vanessa remember your Twitter handle? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion.  

The official snack pairing for Lake Mungo and Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning is a dirty martini on an empty stomach.  

This episode was brought to you by profound sadness.

In this testosterone-laden episode, special guest Brea Grant challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find a pairing for the epic action opus that is The Raid 2. After Elijah declares that it is quite possibly the greatest action movie of all time, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the slow-burn genre-bender Kill List. But besides brutal hammer-related violence, do these two movies really have anything in common? What is the logical conclusion to a life of unrestrained toxic masculinity? And what’s the worst movie to see on a first date? Get the answers to all these questions and more in this week’s double-feature discussion!  

The snack pairing for The Raid 2 and Kill List is griddled rabbit (with an additional vegan rabbit substitute option).  

This episode was brought to you by cryptic symbols.

In an episode that we hope will age well, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a pairing for the rough and tumble Muay Thai actioner Chocolate (2008). After talking a bit about problematic handlings of characters on the autism spectrum in media (yes, we’re once again looking at you, Cube), Vanessa counters with another movie about a deadly young girl, Orphan. Can Vanessa convince Elijah that this pairing works? Would Elijah accept his adopted child if they turned out to be a murderer? 

And what is Vanessa’s equivalent of Popeye’s spinach? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!  The official snack pairing for Chocolate and Orphan is chocolate (duh) and red wine.  

This episode was brought to you by Vanessa’s ability to “turn it on.”

In an episode made primarily of audio stolen from other podcasts, special guest Joe Starr challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect horror pairing for the Godfrey Ho z-movie classic Cobra Vs. Ninja. After struggling to summarize the plot, Vanessa and Elijah retaliate with another sleazy story of bad bets and dirty money, Leprechaun 3. But all gambling aside, can you really compare a leprechaun to a ninja? How did Joe like his first Leprechaun film? And is Godfrey Ho actually an underrated genius? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!   

The official snack pairing for Cobra vs. Ninja and Leprechaun 3 is gold-dusted chicken nuggets and a Big League Chew trading card.  

This episode was brought to you by a CD-ROM that teaches you about cryptids.

In an episode that refuses to die, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find a pairing for the immortal masterpiece that is Re-Animator. After getting a little more schmaltzy and romantic about Re-Animator than you might expect, Elijah counters with the pinnacle of stylishness, Versus. But what does an action movie about yakuza and escaped prisoners have to do with the greatest Lovecraft adaptation of all time? How did Elijah make a terrible impression with Stuart Gordon? And does Vanessa look really good in a Herbert West costume? 

Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!  The official snack pairing for Re-Animator and Versus is a glowing green appletini and a skewer of chicken hearts.  

This episode was brought to you by a sick-ass guitar riff.

In this appetizing episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a pairing for the criminally underrated epic of arts both martial and gastronomical, Bushido Man. After some heated nunchuk debate, Vanessa counters with an equally filling flick: The Stuff. But can a movie so viciously unappetizing really pair with the deliciousness of Bushido Man? Which film’s protagonist is the stronger fighter? And what is a “burrito switch?” Find the answers to all of these questions and more in this week’s double-feature discussion!  

The official snack pairing for Bushido Man and The Stuff is halo-halo.  

This episode was brought to you by our unending love for Jollibee.

In an episode best listened to in your car, the Kicking and Screaming format is broken for the first time when neither host challenges the other to find a double-feature pairing. Instead, both films were mutually agreed upon during a roadtrip: Drive (1997) and The Hitcher (1986). Vanessa and Elijah discuss why Drive is one of the most underrated buddy movies of all time, queer subtext in The Hitcher, and why we’ve become the official podcast of congratulating Macaulay Culkin and Brenda Song on their newborn son.  

The official snack pairing for Drive and The Hitcher is a cheeseburger with finger fries and a milkshake in a rocket cup.  

This episode was brought to you by Mark Dacascos’s captivating musical number.