June is Pride Month, making it the perfect time to evaluate the environment we are building within our own four walls. While many parents hold deeply open-minded values and want their homes to be an "identity-safe zone," a wave of intense anxiety often hits the surface the moment topics like gender exploration, sexual identity, or pronouns enter the chat. Parents freeze out of a catastrophic fear of saying the wrong thing or causing permanent damage.

In this episode, Dr. Courtney Lynn sits down with Dr. Marissa Nunes-Moreno, a clinical psychologist and the Director of Mood Specialty Services at the Pediatric Mental Health Institute at Children’s Hospital Colorado. Together, they strip the shame away from the identity conversation. Dr. Marissa delivers an empathetic, clinical permission slip to drop perfectionism, outline the mechanics of "correct and move on," and explain how leaning into mistakes actually deepens trust with your children.

• The Fallacy of the Perfect Script: Trust is not built by never making a mistake; it is built through rupture and repair. When a parent models how to take accountability and do better, it teaches children how to navigate their own real-world mistakes.
• The Mechanics of "Correct and Move On": When slipping up on a friend's or child's pronouns, avoid over-apologizing or spinning into a shame spiral. Forcing a young person to comfort you for your mistake centers your guilt. Instead, swiftly correct yourself ("Excuse me, they...") and keep moving forward.
• De-Gendering Daily Environments: For younger children, gender exploration is often just concrete world-sorting. Parents can proactively challenge assumptions by decoupling toys, colors, and clothing from rigid gender binaries.
• Do Good Before It Feels Good: You do not have to fully understand the intricate nuances of modern gender terminology to fiercely support your child. Align your parenting behaviors with your core family values (love, kindness, safety) first, and let your understanding catch up later.
• Dismantling the "Phase" Myth: Labeling an identity exploration as "just a phase" is a dismissive linguistic tool that fractures relationships. Even if a child's expression shifts over time, treating their present reality as temporary means missing out on who your child is right now.

• [00:17] Intro: Dr. Courtney introduces Pride Month, parental anxiety, and the fear of saying the wrong thing.
• [03:50] Normalizing Mistakes: Dr. Marissa on why perfection is an illusion and how rupture and repair builds genuine trust.
• [07:42] Pronoun Slip-Ups in Real-Time: A concrete guide to handling pronoun mistakes gracefully without putting the spotlight on the youth.
• [11:04] Habitual and Subtle Blindspots: Rethinking gendered nicknames, automatic parenting catchphrases ("the boys/the girls"), and evolving style expressions.
• [19:48] Early Childhood & De-Gendering: How young children construct rules about the world and how to instill open family values before school systems intervene.
• [27:34] Handling Extended Family & Grandparents: Strategies for navigating conflicting generational values and using curious follow-ups with your child.
• [31:11] Keeping the Door Overtly Open: Why children carry a pervasive fear of family rejection (even with highly supportive parents) and how to explicitly state your allyship.
• [38:28] When You Don't Know the Answer: Ditching defensive responses, avoiding interrogating "Why" questions, and exploring the child's perspective.
• [43:37] Busting the Biggest Myths: Debunking the fear that talking about identity "creates" it, and moving past the need for total comprehension.
• [49:14] Clinical Wrap-Up: Dr. Courtney breaks down the 4 definitive rules for your parenting playbook.

• Clinical Care: Pediatric Mental Health Institute at Children’s Hospital Colorado
• Recommended Reading:
• "The Family Book" by Todd Parr
• "Mommy, Mama, and Me" by Lesléa Newman
• "Julián is a Mermaid" by Jessica Love

If you are trying to untangle your own internalized childhood messaging, lower the stakes of perfectionist parenting, or need an evidence-based clinical team to support your family's communication and nervous system health, our doors are open.

• Visit our practice: Integrated Behavioral Health

Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

If you are a parent of multiples, your day-to-day reality is a completely different ballgame. The physical and emotional exhaustion of the early years is next level. But beyond the logistics of double strollers and synchronous tantrums lies a fascinating, highly specialized psychological landscape. We often celebrate the deep, non-verbal bond twins share, but clinically, that "womb-mate" connection can sometimes stall a child's individual identity development.

In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney Lynn sits down with Dr. Margot Lewis, a licensed clinical psychologist, military veteran, and founder of Twinsight Therapy. As an identical twin who navigated these exact identity waters herself, Margot has dedicated her research and clinical practice to twin psychology and twin parent coaching.

Together, they break down why twins experience a complex "double separation" process, the psychological danger of rigid childhood labels, and how to protect your kids from the relentless cultural comparison trap. Most importantly, Margot delivers a liberating truth that every parent of multiples needs to hear: stop trying to make everything 50/50 equal.

1. The Concept of Double Attachment: Why singletons only have to separate from mom to find themselves, whereas twins must navigate a "double separation" from both parent and co-twin.
2. Nervous System Syncing: How infants and toddlers use their twin as a primary self-soothing object, and how this can delay independent emotional regulation.
3. Separation is Not Severance: Navigating the short-term developmental dysregulation of separate classrooms and separate playdates for long-term psychological health.
4. The Trap of Complementary Labeling: How early physical or medical differences (like birth weight) can trap twins into rigid lifelong roles like "the caretaker" vs. "the cared-for."
5. Dismantling the Attention Myth: Deconstructing old literature to prove that splitting parental attention across multiples does not lead to suboptimal or insecure attachment.
6. The Cookie Dilemma: Why trying to force perfect 50/50 equality is an impossible burden that prevents children from building real-world resilience.

1. [00:13] Intro: Dr. Courtney on the social-emotional trajectory of multiples vs. singletons.
2. [02:42] The Identity Crisis of Adolescence: Dr. Margot shares her personal journey growing up as an identical twin and the gap in standard therapy training.
3. [05:39] The Double Separation Process: Understanding twin psychology, womb-mate bonding, and enmeshment.
4. [07:55] Co-Soothening & Emotional Regulation: Why twins often lag behind singletons in developing independent coping mechanisms.
5. [09:37] Classroom Separation in Kindergarten: What the research actually says about separating multiples early in school.
6. [13:18] Nurturing the Two Identities: Balancing individual permission to move in and out of the twin unit without damaging the twin bond.
7. [20:04] Shutting Down the Onlooker Comparison Trap: Practical scripts for handling intrusive questions from strangers.
8. [24:34] Unconscious Roles & Medical Labels: How early interventions (OT, speech, birth weight) create implicit operational identities.
9. [27:51] The Multiples Postpartum Shock: Grieving the idealized singleton postpartum experience and handling twin manipulation.
10. [30:51] Debunking the Suboptimal Attachment Theory: Reassuring parents that shared attention does not mean compromised security.
11. [31:59] Singular Shining Moments: Fostering one-on-one parent outings and separate peer friendships.
12. [40:44] The 50/50 Equality Trap: Why the half of the cookie given to a twin is never perceived as big enough.
13. [44:40] Finding a Twin Specialist: Moving past regular parenting advice when a disturbance occurs in the home.
14. [46:26] Outro: Dr. Courtney's clinical reflection on building resilience through healthy differences.

1. Dr. Margot Lewis’s Practice: Twinsight Therapy

1. Navigating the intense, overstimulating seasons of parenting multiples? Our clinical team at Integrated Behavioral Health is here to support your family system. Schedule a consultation with our team today.

Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

We talk a lot about clinical frameworks and evidence-based psychological theories on this show. But today, we are stepping out of the clinic and straight onto the playground to talk about the real-world execution of mental health: community.

In this special bonus episode, Dr. Courtney sits down with Tessa Metiva, the founder of the Denver-based Cool Mom Collective and host of the Mama’s Got the Mic podcast. When Tessa found herself pregnant in 2024 and lacking a local support system, she didn't wait around for a village to appear—she built one from scratch. What started as an 11-mom mocktail meetup has snowballed into a thriving, hyper-active network of over 350 local mothers.

Dr. Courtney and Tessa dive deep into the modern isolation epidemic, the physical and emotional survival of the early postpartum days, the raw reality of postpartum rage, and actionable steps to put your phone down and form authentic connections right in your neighborhood.

1. The "Relocation" Support Gap: Why modern career and college patterns leave new parents completely isolated from their generational villages, and how to bridge that gap intentionally.
2. Vulnerability Breeds Vulnerability: The clinical reality of how a simple doorbell diaper swap or an unbrushed-hair interaction acts as co-regulation for a dysregulated postpartum nervous system.
3. Normalizing Postpartum Rage: Demystifying the biological cycle of maternal rage—overstimulation, the short fuse, the explosive rush, the emotional crash, and the subsequent shame wave.
4. The "New Car" Connection Analogy: How to shift your focus to spot potential parent friends in the wild (at coffee shops, parks, and walks) and the exact low-stakes scripts to start a conversation.
5. The 33% Rule on the Playground: Why you don't need a cinematic, picture-perfect village 100% of the time. Showing up and making an effort one-third of the time is more than enough to anchor your mental health.

1. Join the Cool Mom Collective: If you are a Denver-area mom looking for your village, check out the Cool Mom Collective Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/coolmomcollectiveden/
2. Listen to Mama's Got the Mic: Catch Tessa's podcast on all major streaming platforms. https://www.instagram.com/mamasgotthemic/
3. Dr. Courtney’s Connection Roadmap: Get actionable communication scripts, clinical frameworks, and parental sanity savers sent straight to your inbox. Head over to Instagram and comment "NEWS" on the latest post to instantly receive your Connection Toolkit!

Have you ever packed up your car for a weekend getaway with a baby or toddler, looked at the literal mountain of gear, and wondered: Is this even worth it? For most parents of young children, standard travel isn't a vacation—it’s just parenting in a different zip code. The cognitive and logistical mental load required to keep a toddler safe, fed, and sleeping on the road is enough to cause full-blown parental burnout before you even arrive at your destination.

In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney Lynn sits down with Lana McClure, founder of Tot Friendly Homes, a revolutionary company certifying short-term vacation rentals (like Airbnbs and VRBOs) as truly family-ready. Lana shares her personal travel pain points that sparked this business, the developmental science behind toddler routine preservation, and how changing your physical environment serves as a vital psychological intervention for parents.

Turn down the pressure valve, drop your bags, and learn how to move out of high-alert maternal vigilance and back into a state of playful presence.

1. The "Travel Tax" on Parental Mental Health: Why parents struggle to rest when their vacation environment triggers constant environmental vigilance.
2. The 5 Pillars of Essential Comforts: Breaking down the foundational needs of a traveling family—Sleep, Eat, Potty, Play, and Safety.
3. Preventing the Dreaded Vacation Regression: How toddler-sized bathroom inserts and step stools preserve independent routines learned at preschool and home.
4. The Multi-Child Design Gap: Why standard "family-friendly" filters fail families with two or three young children, and how to fix the puzzle pieces.
5. Environmental Design as a Nervous System Intervention: Shifting the body from a sympathetic (fight-or-flight) state of tracking safety hazards to a parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) state of connection.

1. [00:16] Intro: Dr. Courtney on the crushing weight of the mental load and parental burnout during travel.
2. [02:19] The Cross-Country Wake-Up Call: Lana’s personal inspiration for Tot Friendly Homes after moving from Chicago to Denver with a newborn.
3. [05:30] Aspiration vs. Reality: Debunking the curated "travel influencer" culture and validating the actual logistics of traveling with toddlers.
4. [08:26] Inside the Certification: The 30 essential products and premium hospitality standards required for the Tot Friendly Homes stamp of approval.
5. [11:27] Protecting Hard-Earned Routines: Preserving potty training milestones and independent habits while out of the home environment.
6. [13:36] Obligation Travel: Navigating work trips, family weddings, and why cramped hotel rooms are a recipe for sleepless nights.
7. [17:57] Solving the Multi-Kid Puzzle: Moving past a single pack-and-play to design spaces for families with multiple young children.
8. [22:24] Falling in Love with Your Family Again: Erasing chores and errands to open up room for true adult relaxation and patient presence.
9. [24:52] Future Pipelines: Where to find certified homes in Colorado and across the United States.
10. [26:36] Outro: Dr. Courtney's clinical perspective on environmental design and nervous system regulation.

1. Tot Friendly Homes Website: https://www.totfriendlyhomes.com/
2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/totfriendlyhomes/
3. Accolades: First Place Winner of the Regis University Innovation Challenge

1. Are you struggling with parental burnout, transition stress, or chronic anxiety that a weekend getaway couldn't fix? Our therapeutic team at Integrated Behavioral Health is here to walk with you. Visit our website to schedule a consultation.

Chris identifies the four signs that you’ve slipped into a reactive, referee mindset. When we are in this mode, we focus on rules and punishment rather than growth.

• Reprimanding: Focusing strictly on what not to do (e.g., "Stop running!").
• Repeating: Saying the same directive over and over, which actually teaches kids they don't have to listen to the first "whistle."
• Raising Your Voice: Matching a child's volume rather than modeling emotional regulation.
• Removal: Relying on the "red card"—removing the child from the situation or taking away privileges—as the only tool for control.

Chris explains why "Refereeing" often leads to more defiance. When we reprimand or raise our voices, we trigger the child’s amygdala (the survival brain), putting them into fight-or-flight mode. In this state, the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for logic and learning) essentially shuts down. You cannot teach a child a new skill while they are in a state of fear or shame.

To move back into "Coach Mode," Chris suggests using the COPE acronym to guide children through difficult moments:

• C – Confirm: Acknowledge the difficulty or the feeling. "Yeah, sharing that toy is really hard."
• O – Options: Give the child choices to restore their sense of autonomy.
• P – Prompting Skills: Remind them of the "drill." Use visuals or practice redos (Mulligans).
• E – Empowering Boundaries: Set firm, clear boundaries that focus on the goal of getting back into the "game."

• The "Mulligan" (The Redo): Just like in golf, give yourself and your child permission for a redo. If an interaction starts poorly, stop, apologize, and try again.
• Instruction over Policing: Parenting is about teaching skills, not just enforcing rules. Skills require hundreds of practice sessions to become habits.
• Prompting with Presence: Use visuals (like post-it notes or menus of coping skills) to remind kids of their tools without getting into a verbal power struggle.
• "I’m On Your Team": This is the most powerful shift a parent can make. Reminding your child that you are their teammate, not their opponent, changes the entire family dynamic.

• Follow Dr. Chris Barclay: Find his guides and tips on Instagram here.
• Integrated Behavioral Health: Looking for a skill-building, neuro-affirming approach to your child's behavior in Denver? Connect with our team.

Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

This episode is the deep breath every modern parent needs. We live in a world where we are bombarded with "prescriptive" parenting advice at every turn—if we don’t use the right script or the right reward chart, we’re told we’re failing. But what if the goal isn't perfection, but simply being "good enough"?

I’m joined by Katie Linn, LCSW, a Denver-based therapist and the creator behind @YourTherapistMomFriend. Together, we pull back the curtain on the "Shame Spiral" of parenting, discuss why high-achieving parents struggle so much with the unpredictability of kids, and why modeling imperfection is actually a gift for your child’s development.

Katie explains that parenthood is one of the only roles where we assess our own value based on the behavior of a completely different human being. If our kid struggles with reading or has a meltdown at a restaurant, the high-achieving parent’s first instinct is: "I must be failing." We discuss how to catch that "Fear-Driven Parenting" and separate our worth from our child's current developmental stage.

One of the most liberating moments of this conversation is the discussion of attachment research. To foster a secure attachment, you don't need to be perfectly attuned 100% of the time. In fact, research suggests that hitting the mark only 30% of the time is enough to achieve a secure bond, provided there is a focus on repair.

We talk about the "Easy Button"—those moments on a Friday at 5:00 PM when your capacity is low. Whether it’s chicken nuggets for dinner or an extra episode of Bluey so you can decompress, Katie explains why "honoring your capacity" is actually a high-level parenting skill.

1. The Social Media "Shoulds": How the narrow path of success on Instagram creates a visceral pressure in our bodies.
2. The "High Achiever" Transition: Why parenting is the hardest role for people who are used to "working harder" to solve problems.
3. Parenting in Public: How the "Inner Critic" takes over when we feel the judgment of strangers, and how to stay present with your child instead.
4. The Power of Repair: Why saying "I'm sorry, I was grumpy and I shouldn't have yelled" is more valuable than never yelling at all.
5. Modeling Humanity: Why showing your kids that you are a human who makes mistakes prepares them for real-world relationships.

1. Identify the U-Turn: When your child struggles, notice if your first thought is a judgment of them or a judgment of yourself. Catching the "Shame Spiral" early allows you to move into problem-solving.
2. Separate Behavior from Worth: Your child's picky eating or academic pace is a data point about their needs, not a performance review of your soul.
3. Prioritize Presence over Perfection: Your kids don't need a robot; they need a parent who sees them.
4. Mute the Noise: If a parenting "expert" on social media makes you feel like you aren't good enough, give yourself permission to hit the mute button.

1. Follow Katie on Instagram: @YourTherapistMomFriend
2. Join Katie’s Groups: Visit The Den in Denver for expecting, postpartum, and toddler parent support.
3. Integrated Behavioral Health: Navigating the "swirl" of parenting? Connect with our team here.

Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

Lauren breaks down the month into two distinct phases, driven by our "lead actor" hormones:

• The Follicular Phase (Front Half): Driven by rising Estrogen. This hormone is responsible for our zest for life. It makes us feel vibrant, creative, and resilient. This is the phase where we often feel like we "have it all together."
• The Luteal Phase (Back Half): Driven by Progesterone. Biologically, your body is preparing for a potential pregnancy and scanning for safety. We become naturally more sensitive to stressors and sensory input.

One of the most profound takeaways is Lauren’s concept of the energy bank account:

• Output: The energy we give to our kids, our jobs, and our partners.
• Input: The solitude, nourishment, and regulation we need to refuel. In the second half of our cycle, our need for Input skyrockets. When we try to maintain "Follicular-level Output" during our Luteal phase, we end up in a state of high-alert fight-or-flight, leading to those "snappy" moments we often regret.

Lauren explains that when hormones drop to their lowest point (right before your period), your nervous system becomes highly sensitized. Noises feel louder, touches feel more invasive, and the "clutter" of parenting feels like a physical assault.

• Evolutionary Stress: Why our bodies are programmed to scan for "safety, food, and shelter" in the second half of the month—and how "baseball practice and dinner prep" trigger that same ancient stress response.
• The Metabolic Shift: Your body actually burns through calories faster after ovulation. If you don't increase your nourishment, your body sends a "stress signal," which translates to irritability with your kids.
• Relationship Friction: Why you might "like" your partner less during your Luteal phase (it’s biological, not necessarily a marital crisis!).
• A Note for Parents of Teens: Understanding that it takes 2 to 5 years for a teen’s cycle to become regular, and how that impacts their emotional "rollercoaster."

1. Track Your "Sensory Threshold": Use an Oura ring or a simple app to know where you are. Knowledge takes the mystery (and shame) out of a bad mood.
2. Feed the Fire: Don't ignore "luteal hunger." Your body needs more fuel in the second half of the month to keep your nervous system calm.
3. Audit Your Schedule: If possible, move high-stress meetings or intense workouts to the first half of your cycle. Leave the second half for "solitude and silence."
4. Stop the Shame Spiral: Irritability isn't a character flaw; it's a biological signal. When you feel it rising, it’s time to ask for more support, not more perfection.

• Connect with Lauren Mallers: CalibrateWell.com
• Integrated Behavioral Health: Navigating parenting burnout or anxiety in Colorado? Visit our practice here.

Guest: Dr. Lindsey O’Brennan, Licensed Psychologist & Founder of Morningstar Wellness

On paper, they look perfect. Straight A’s, varsity spots, and a resume that would make a CEO jealous. But for many high-achieving teens, the cost of functioning at such a high level has quietly become too great.

In this episode, Dr. Courtney sits down with longtime colleague and performance expert Dr. Lindsey O’Brennan to discuss the "concoction" of achievement and anxiety. They dive into the subtle but vital difference between healthy striving and rigid high achievement, and what happens to a teen’s identity when their self-worth is tied entirely to their "Gold Star" status.

1. Healthy Striving vs. High Achievement: How to tell if your child is chasing a goal because they love it, or because they feel they must to be worthy.
2. The "Achievement Train" Metaphor: What happens when the train barrels toward success but the passenger (your teen) has no idea who is driving or how to get off.
3. The Resilience Gap: Why "gifted" kids often struggle to bounce back from failure because they’ve never had the chance to practice it.
4. The "Three Strikes" Rule: Dr. Lindsey’s tactical red flags for when "end-of-semester stress" has turned into a mental health crisis.
5. Parental Modeling: How high-achieving parents can pull back the curtain on their own stress and model the power of a "pause."
6. The Gift of Validation: Why witnessing your teen "fall apart" without judgment is the most protective thing a parent can do.

1. Check the Driver’s Seat: Ask your teen (and yourself): "Who is driving this train? Is it your values, or is it an internal critic/external pressure?"
2. Narrate the Pause: Even if you aren't ready to change your busy schedule, name it. "I’ve realized I’m on my phone a lot when I get home to unwind. I’m just recognizing that pattern."
3. Validate the "B": For a high achiever, a single B-grade can feel like a world-ending event. Before problem-solving, sit with them in that distress.
4. Seasons, Not Sprints: Reframe busy months (like sports season or finals) as "sprints" that must be followed by a "recoup" season to be sustainable.

1. Morningstar Wellness: Dr. Lindsey’s practice specializing in high-achieving teens and performance coaching. Morningstarwellness.com
2. Integrated Behavioral Health: Dr. Courtney’s group practice in Colorado, offering therapy and evaluations for the "smart but scattered" and anxious high-achiever. integratedbhs.com

Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

Have you ever felt dismissed by your child's school? Your child’s teacher reports they are well-behaved and hitting benchmarks, yet the second they hit the front door at home, they explode into a "whirlwind" of meltdowns.

In this episode, Dr. Courtney sits down with Hannah Higgins, LCSW, a former school social worker and neurodivergent advocate, to demystify the phenomenon of masking. Hannah shares her "both sides of the table" perspective to help parents understand why kids hold it together at school only to crumble at home (often called After-School Restraint Collapse). We dive into the legal differences between IEPs and 504 plans, why you should trust your gut even when grades look "fine," and how to use Hannah’s new app, Advocado Solutions, to become a confident advocate for your child.

• The Reality of Masking: Why "good behavior" at school can actually be a sign of internal suffering and sensory overwhelm.
• 90s Stigma vs. Modern Advocacy: Shifting the narrative from "over-medicating" to creating neurodivergent-affirming environments.
• The "Safe Place" Meltdown: Why your child saves their biggest emotions for you (and why that’s actually a sign of trust).
• IEP vs. 504 Plans: A breakdown of how to initiate the process and why documentation is your best friend.
• Sensory Room Advocacy: Why every school should have a dedicated space for decompression and how to ask for it.
• Trusting Your Gut: Why parental intuition is a valid data point in school meetings.

1. Get it in Writing: If you have concerns, document them. Written communication is the first step toward legal protections in the school system.
2. Stay Curious, Not Punitive: When your child has a post-school meltdown, ask: "What was the sensory load today?" rather than "Why are you acting out?"
3. The "8th Sense": Understand Interoception—the ability to feel what’s happening inside the body. Many neurodivergent kids struggle to name their hunger, thirst, or overwhelm until it’s too late.
4. Collaboration is King: Schools work best when parents and teachers partner together. Don't be afraid to share what works at home so it can be integrated into the classroom.

• Hannah Rose Therapy: Psychotherapy for neurodivergent adolescents and adults. Hannahrosetherapy.com
• Avocado Solutions: Hannah’s new app designed to help parents navigate the IEP and 504 process with confidence. Advocado.solutions
• Legal Resources: * Colorado Department of Education
• IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act)
• Integrated Behavioral Health: Dr. Courtney’s group practice in Colorado, providing evaluations and therapy for neurodivergent hurdles. Integratedbhs.com

Guest: Annie Close, Pediatric Occupational Therapist & Founder of OWN Pediatric Therapy

Potty training is often treated like a high-stakes behavioral exam, but what if the struggle isn't about "willpower" at all? In this episode, Dr. Courtney sits down with pediatric pelvic health expert Annie Close to discuss why so many families hit a wall with potty training. We dive deep into the physiological "puzzle pieces"—like pelvic floor tension and chronic constipation—that can trigger a child’s fight-or-flight response and lead to those frustrating "sneaky" accidents.

• The Mindset Shift: Why we should treat potty training like learning to ride a bike—a complex motor skill that requires patience, not a three-day "miracle."
• The Sneaky Enemy: How chronic constipation (even if your child poops daily) can create "mega-rectums" and "sneaky peas."
• The Physical Signs of Readiness: It’s more than just age. We discuss interoception (the ability to feel what’s happening inside the body) and the ability to pause during play.
• The "Poop Whistle" & Other Tools: Actionable tips to help your child relax their pelvic floor, including deep breathing, party blowers, and proper toilet positioning.
• The Behavioral Bank Account: Dr. Courtney explains how to avoid "withdrawals" (constant commands) and focus on "deposits" (connection and curiosity).
• Identifying the Signs: What "W-sitting" or the "Vincent’s Curtsy" can tell you about your child’s pelvic floor strength and withholding habits.

1. Constipation is a Stop Sign: You cannot successfully potty train a constipated child. Address the gut health and stool consistency first to avoid creating a cycle of painful pooping and withholding.
2. Language Matters: Swap "Go sit on the potty" for curiosity-based scripts like, "Let’s see what your body is trying to tell you."
3. Model the Cues: Talk out loud about your own body’s signals. "My bladder feels full; I’m going to go listen to my body and use the restroom."
4. Reward the Effort, Not the Result: Use sticker charts for sitting and trying rather than the physical act of peeing or pooping, which a child cannot always control.

• OWN Pediatric Therapy: Annie Close’s practice specializing in pediatric bowel, bladder, and pelvic health. https://www.ownpediatrictherapy.com/
• Integrated Behavioral Health: Dr. Courtney’s group practice in Colorado, offering support for behavioral and developmental hurdles. https://www.integratedbhs.com/
• Connect on Social: Follow us for more tips on raising kids these days! @integratedbh

You don't have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning about how to raise kids these days.

Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.