To The Girl Behind The Counter At The Drug Store,

I never understood why I couldn’t just go to sleep at a normal time, so I went to the drug store to help overcome this issue. When I walked in I heard a sharp and high pitched “Hi!”, then we both looked up at the same time. Once our eyes finally met we twisted our heads the way dogs do when they’re confused because we both didn’t expect to see a familiar face that day. I was so shocked because I only see you sporadically after you decided to stop going to school. I wanted to give you a hug over the counter, but I knew that would’ve been unprofessional. It was my first time there and it was roughly your first month. I ask you what’s good and you tell me you love the flowers that smell lemony. So I bought a few and told you I would see you soon, in hopes soon would be sooner. I inhale the lemon scented flowers and I become sedated. On a mental carousel with vibrant lights flashing deep purples and florescent greens. Everything around me starts spinning. My eyes turn and turn like a kaleidoscope and I felt like I was in a movie because I was surrounded by stars. Ever since that day I lost even more sleep. I started to become a regular patient and it is crazy to think how infatuated I was with drugs, to becoming an addict. Being mentally addicted to you is giving me insomnia, a side effect that I became comfortable with. On this note and that note I would like to thank you, for single handedly taking the money out of my wallet and helping me come to terms with my insanity.

Love,

Me

If you’re going to try, go all the
way.
Otherwise, don’t even start.

If you’re going to try, go all the
way.
This could mean losing girlfriends,
wives, relatives, jobs and
maybe your mind.

Go all the way.
It could mean not eating for 3 or 4 days.
It could mean freezing on a
park bench.
It could mean jail,
it could mean derision,
mockery,
isolation.
Isolation is the gift,
all the others are a test of your
endurance, of
how much you really want to
do it.
And you’ll do it.
Despite rejection and the worst odds
and it will be better than
anything else
you can imagine.

If you’re going to try,
go all the way.
There is no other feeling like
that.
You will be alone with the gods
and the nights will flame with
fire.

Do it, do it, do it.
Do it.

All the way
All the way.

You will ride life straight to
perfect laughter, its
the only good fight
there is.

To The Girl Behind The Counter At The Drug Store,

I never understood why I couldn’t just go to sleep at a normal time, so I went to the drug store to help overcome this issue. When I walked in I heard a sharp and high pitched “Hi!”, then we both looked up at the same time. Once our eyes finally met we twisted our heads the way dogs do when they’re confused because we both didn’t expect to see a familiar face that day. I was so shocked because I only see you sporadically after you decided to stop going to school. I wanted to give you a hug over the counter, but I knew that would’ve been unprofessional. It was my first time there and it was roughly your first month. I ask you what’s good and you tell me you love the flowers that smell lemony. So I bought a few and told you I would see you soon, in hopes soon would be sooner. I inhale the lemon scented flowers and I become sedated. On a mental carousel with vibrant lights flashing deep purples and florescent greens. Everything around me starts spinning. My eyes turn and turn like a kaleidoscope and I felt like I was in a movie because I was surrounded by stars. Ever since that day I lost even more sleep. I started to become a regular patient and it is crazy to think how infatuated I was with drugs, to becoming an addict. Being mentally addicted to you is giving me insomnia, a side effect that I became comfortable with. On this note and that note I would like to thank you, for single handedly taking the money out of my wallet and helping me come to terms with my insanity.

Love,

Me

Young Toledo and Kolo Kai introduce you to Tristian Santiago and his poem Lemon Scented Love Letters. Plus, Toledo reads a poem by Charles Bukowski. And finally, an interview with Antimattr to talk about their song R.I.P. and new project The Darkest Pyrex. Let’s get it poppin.

Support our boy Tristan!
https://medium.com/@santiago.tri13

Charlotte Dos Santos - بداية جديدة
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbXa69gPDv

Shlomo - 11_7_11 Alone With Me\
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fZ8qmUvMWk

CYGN – Mindfulness
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i62FFP7FKfc

sad toi – Jeux D’eau
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJXFT2v8HgY&list=RDi62FFP7FKfc&index=2

Lee Perry, Prince Jammy – Rude Boy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqi6Xn5DQlQ

Maître – SNAKE WAY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7Srbp8WPMY&index=29&list=RDo9zZ4Gj75xs

Shlomo  – Back House
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RamNZ7VoEvk

Getatchew Mekurya – Almaz Yèharèwa

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m97lkcMtxQ

Antimattr — RIP
 https://open.spotify.com/track/2ztqeMVZhSfTODshZqb2X0?si=xr5HU_OpQ6ugtnBMdTEh8Q

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/r-i-p/1446046923?i=1446047323

https://soundcloud.com/anti-matter-61454006/r-i-p?in=anti-matter-61454006/sets/the-darkest-pyrex-1

Cortex – Chanson d'un jour d'hiver
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ-hYPUspaI

Night Tempo – Riverside Drive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6mU1JbWKmA

Brian Bennett – Solstice
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao5uiWUzMx4

Piero Umiliani — Nostalgia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmKTDhubg1s

Berolina Sound Orchestra, Siegfried Mai –Erfüllte
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unEjrQEU1UQ

Alan Hawkshaw – Cruising
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_wXAt07Qh8

Enrico Intra – Nicole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOj_EmNzlUM

Young Toledo and Kolo Kai introduce you to Tristian Santiago and his poem Lemon Scented Love Letters. Plus, Toledo reads a poem by Charles Bukowski. And finally, an interview with Antimattr to talk about their song R.I.P. and new project The Darkest Pyrex. Let’s get it poppin.

Support our boy Tristan!
https://medium.com/@santiago.tri13

Charlotte Dos Santos - بداية جديدة
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbXa69gPDv

Shlomo - 11_7_11 Alone With Me\
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fZ8qmUvMWk

CYGN – Mindfulness
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i62FFP7FKfc

sad toi – Jeux D’eau
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJXFT2v8HgY&list=RDi62FFP7FKfc&index=2

Lee Perry, Prince Jammy – Rude Boy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqi6Xn5DQlQ

Maître – SNAKE WAY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7Srbp8WPMY&index=29&list=RDo9zZ4Gj75xs

Shlomo  – Back House
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RamNZ7VoEvk

Getatchew Mekurya – Almaz Yèharèwa

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m97lkcMtxQ

Antimattr — RIP
 https://open.spotify.com/track/2ztqeMVZhSfTODshZqb2X0?si=xr5HU_OpQ6ugtnBMdTEh8Q

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/r-i-p/1446046923?i=1446047323

https://soundcloud.com/anti-matter-61454006/r-i-p?in=anti-matter-61454006/sets/the-darkest-pyrex-1

Cortex – Chanson d'un jour d'hiver
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ-hYPUspaI

Night Tempo – Riverside Drive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6mU1JbWKmA

Brian Bennett – Solstice
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao5uiWUzMx4

Piero Umiliani — Nostalgia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmKTDhubg1s

Berolina Sound Orchestra, Siegfried Mai –Erfüllte
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unEjrQEU1UQ

Alan Hawkshaw – Cruising
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_wXAt07Qh8

Enrico Intra – Nicole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOj_EmNzlUM

The Disease

Sometimes it's a bad time, 

Sometimes it's a worse time.

The blackening of night tastes of orange rinds and bitters.

The cold wind sends shivers up my spine.

Mindfully thinking about the world I'll leave behind.

It was the house that my father built filled with,

Spiritual energy to ward off all or any enemies.

But the disease infected and reflected a Waning light not bright enough for the little ones to have sight. 

One preferred the light and the other the dark. 

Hark hark and hear, the fears from far and near. 

eyes stapled shut and ears closed and seared

he who lives in the dark is the one they fear me to be

yet

The disease has infected she, and has advanced most painfully. 

The cold in her spine is cured by the warmth of a fine wind. 

Tying her heart in twine as not to feel it fall

Or in the slightest bit hurt at all. 

But tall and insurmountable mountains can't be ignored. Even the strong man and His mighty sword can't best what the mind leads him towards. No matter how Detrimental. No matter how painful. He's Drawn in. With its fiery words and it's Blood made of gin. 

She is held by the addiction 

Blinded by it and taken by it. 

It's bit the bite it needs

That allows her to defend and fight as she pleases. 

But remember she's diseased and they've got to leave. I've gotta leave. Before the disease infects me.

Music for "The Disease":
Room 6 by 36

CAPTAIN SAVE-A-HOE

I feel trapped, but i don’t wanna get away.

I want to stay here and help you from my cage,

but I’ve gotta level with you.

Doing this will just cause my mental to bruise,

please stays and I love yous...

Damn you know what those do...

But I’m in this cage with wings and i wonder why,

a bird with wings should be allowed to fly

Right?

Right. 

Passionless sex and long sleepless nights.

Up at dawns bright for long distance drives. 

Your purgatory is my 405. 

And I constantly wonder how and why 

I find myself in this place time and time again. 

Where I’m the doctor friend using my dick to make sure your heart mends. 

So that when you’re done you can move on to the next...

Maybe it’s less simple and more complex than that, but I don’t know. 

I do know I’m here for you. 

In this cage,

for now. 

until I escape. 

Music for "CAPTAIN SAVE-A-HOE": 
A Distant Glow by Slow Meadow

The Disease

Sometimes it's a bad time, 

Sometimes it's a worse time.

The blackening of night tastes of orange rinds and bitters.

The cold wind sends shivers up my spine.

Mindfully thinking about the world I'll leave behind.

It was the house that my father built filled with,

Spiritual energy to ward off all or any enemies.

But the disease infected and reflected a Waning light not bright enough for the little ones to have sight. 

One preferred the light and the other the dark. 

Hark hark and hear, the fears from far and near. 

eyes stapled shut and ears closed and seared

he who lives in the dark is the one they fear me to be

yet

The disease has infected she, and has advanced most painfully. 

The cold in her spine is cured by the warmth of a fine wind. 

Tying her heart in twine as not to feel it fall

Or in the slightest bit hurt at all. 

But tall and insurmountable mountains can't be ignored. Even the strong man and His mighty sword can't best what the mind leads him towards. No matter how Detrimental. No matter how painful. He's Drawn in. With its fiery words and it's Blood made of gin. 

She is held by the addiction 

Blinded by it and taken by it. 

It's bit the bite it needs

That allows her to defend and fight as she pleases. 

But remember she's diseased and they've got to leave. I've gotta leave. Before the disease infects me.

Music for "The Disease":
Room 6 by 36

CAPTAIN SAVE-A-HOE

I feel trapped, but i don’t wanna get away.

I want to stay here and help you from my cage,

but I’ve gotta level with you.

Doing this will just cause my mental to bruise,

please stays and I love yous...

Damn you know what those do...

But I’m in this cage with wings and i wonder why,

a bird with wings should be allowed to fly

Right?

Right. 

Passionless sex and long sleepless nights.

Up at dawns bright for long distance drives. 

Your purgatory is my 405. 

And I constantly wonder how and why 

I find myself in this place time and time again. 

Where I’m the doctor friend using my dick to make sure your heart mends. 

So that when you’re done you can move on to the next...

Maybe it’s less simple and more complex than that, but I don’t know. 

I do know I’m here for you. 

In this cage,

for now. 

until I escape. 

Music for "CAPTAIN SAVE-A-HOE": 
A Distant Glow by Slow Meadow

Young Toledo and Kolo Kai talk about what it means to be a Captain Save-A-Hoe and what you end up doing to yourself by taking on that role. Then they dive into what addiction does and the toll dealing with a family member struggling with addiction can take on someone.

Poems:
CAPTAIN SAVE-A-HOE by Young Toledo

The Disease by Young Toledo

Theme Music: Chrome Casket by Kolo Kai

First Song:
Cassava Piece ('79 Style) by Augustus Pablo

Music for "CAPTAIN SAVE-A-HOE": 
A Distant Glow by Slow Meadow

Second Song: 
Anchin Kfu Ayinkash by Hailu Mergia & Dahlak Band

Music for "The Disease":
Room 6 by 36

Third Song:
Emigrant Visa by John Wilkins

Fourth Song:
Dreamflower by Tarika Blue

Fifth Song:
Darkest Light by Lafayette Afro Rock Band