Went live at 3:58 in the morning because sleep was not happening and I had an article sitting in drafts that I wanted to finish. Ended up hanging out for almost half an hour with people from Sri Lanka, India, Michigan, and North Carolina while I put the last touches on it and hit publish right there on screen. Body doubling at 4am with strangers across the planet. That is a normal night now.

If you missed it live, here is what went down.

[00:00] Why I’m upCould not sleep, had energy, decided to work on the next free article instead of lying there staring at the ceiling. Figured I would go live and see who else was awake.

[02:48] What the article is aboutBeing addicted to chaos, and why peace and calm feel like a threat when you have been conditioned for chaos your whole life. The one that had been stuck in drafts for a while.

[04:43] Comps for showing upJake dropped his email in the chat, so I gave him a 30 day comp to the paid side as a thank you for being in the room. Open offer to anyone who shows up to one of these. I am not here to hard sell anybody. I want to grow and help other people grow, and let people peek at the library and decide for themselves if it is worth it.

[09:18] Why I go live at allPlenty of people write on Substack. Not many go live or let you get to know them and ask questions. I do these for connection, and honestly for body doubling. I have ADHD and I work better knowing other people are working too, or just in the chat hanging out.

[12:44] Showed the draft on screenPulled it up live. “Nine signs you’re addicted to chaos and calm feels like a threat.” You are not addicted to drama. Your body learned that peace never lasts, so it keeps recreating the chaos it already knows how to survive.

[13:47] Hit publishPosted it right there while everyone watched. It is live now. Go read it, and a like or a restack helps it find the people who need it. [link to the article]

[14:20] The wall tourOscar the Grouch holding a Detroit Tigers flag. Cookie Monster in a Red Wings jersey. The Detroit skyline. An autographed Dennis Rodman. And Heath Ledger, one of my favorites.

[15:54] Joker, and the sleeveMy actual favorite actor is Joaquin Phoenix, and Joker is my favorite movie. I connected with a lot of the character, more than I probably should admit. I have a whole tattoo sleeve for it, the hahas running all up my arm.

[18:59] The last viceTalked about vaping. It is the last thing I am holding onto, and I am honest that I am not ready to quit yet but I am getting there. Which led into how I actually got sober from alcohol. I did not do it cold turkey. I used harm reduction. Drinking less on purpose, putting rules around it, moving toward sobriety in steps until I got there. That is real, and it is not the version most people tell you about.

[22:29] Nina collab shoutReminded everyone the collaboration with Nina dropped yesterday. “You Understand Yourself Perfectly, So Why Are You Still Stuck?” She does great work on somatic healing, working through the body. Worth your time.

[23:05] How it startedDid not drink or smoke until my mid twenties, after a breakdown. Got flooded, panic attacks, the whole thing. Saw a doctor, went on medication, still did not feel normal. Then I started dating someone who brought alcohol into the picture every evening, my tolerance climbed, and I became a high functioning alcoholic for three or four years before I broke away from it on purpose.

[24:17] Signed offThanked everyone for hanging out for almost a half hour. If you want to collaborate on something, send me a message. Do not be a stranger.

If you were in the room, thank you. If you were asleep like a normal person, the chaos article is live and these lives are going to keep happening, usually whenever I cannot sleep.

—Cody Taymore

Kill The Silence

Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit killthesilenceofficial.substack.com/subscribe

52 people stayed for an hour on a Monday night with no agenda. That tells me everything I need to know.

Tonight was the first body doubling session I’ve ever done on here. I didn’t know what to expect. I showed up, I was working on something, and I just opened the door. People came in, they got stuff done, they asked questions, we talked. That was it. No structure, no presentation, no performance. Just a room full of people who needed to not be alone while they did the thing they’d been putting off.

We’re doing it again.

What We Talked About

Body doubling — the ADHD and trauma tool that almost nobody talks about out loud. The idea is simple: your brain works better when another person is present. Not because they’re helping you. Just because they’re there. If you’ve ever noticed you can get more done at a coffee shop than at home alone, that’s body doubling. Tonight was that, but with people who actually get it.

Substack growth — a few people asked how I’ve built this thing. The honest answer is I just showed up and wrote what was true. No strategy, no hacks. I also talked about collaborations — how I approach them with the mindset of wanting to help the other person grow, not just get exposure for myself. Every collab I’ve done that way has come back around. The energy you bring to it matters.

Restacking and community — something that genuinely bothers me: writers who only post their own stuff and never share anyone else’s work. If you’re building a community, act like it. Restack things that hit you. Comment. Like. Don’t be a ghost. The people who show up for others are the ones who build something real.

What’s coming — every Saturday morning I’m doing Coffee with Cody for paid subscribers. One hour. We go deeper — into essays, into conversations I won’t have publicly, into whatever is real that week. Sometimes I’ll bring someone on. Sometimes it’ll just be us. The first one already happened and it was exactly what I hoped it would be.

The free stuff stays free. Always. If you’re in crisis or you just can’t afford it, the essays and the tools are there and they’re not going anywhere. But if the paid tier adds value to you, I’d ask you to look at it. And if you’ve got a friend who needs this, bring them — you both get 50% off.

What’s Next

I’m not going to let this thing stay the same. A year from now I want Kill The Silence to be something different than it is today — bigger, deeper, more connected. That only happens if you’re in it with me.

So come back. Bring somebody. Hit me up if you need anything.

See you Saturday.

— Cody

Kill The Silence

Thank you Megan Against Injustice, RN, Omixintel, Mary Dee, My Own Miracle, Pamela Heeke, and many others for tuning into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit killthesilenceofficial.substack.com/subscribe

I went live on a Sunday with no script and no topic. Just an open room and whoever wanted to sit in it. 40 people showed up, and we talked for 45 minutes about the stuff most people only think about at two in the morning and never say out loud.

People dialed in from San Antonio, San Diego, Miami, Louisiana, Costa Rica, West Africa, and right here in Detroit. Some of them said straight out that they don’t have a single person in their day to day who actually understands what they’ve lived through. For 45 minutes, they weren’t the only one in the room.

These lives are free, and there will be a lot more of them. Bring your coffee, your questions, or nothing at all and just listen. If you’ve been reading from a distance, this is how you stop being on the outside of it.

This is the recording. Here’s roughly where everything happened.

In this one:

[01:35] What the Survivor Circle is, and why I started doing these lives

[08:57] My story, the short version. Getting sober, the therapist who turned predator, the lawsuit I’m still in

[11:55] Why isolation is the whole point of abuse, and what it actually means to hold space for someone

[14:10] “How bad does it have to get before I’m allowed to do something?” The wrong question, and the one to ask instead

[19:30] What keeps me going, and why I’ll take inspiration over pity every time

[22:40] Staying sober through the worst stretch of my life

[27:00] Where everybody was calling in from

[29:40] Why it feels like narcissism is everywhere now

[31:00] The Rant, standup, and how I make all of this by myself

The free work isn’t going anywhere. New essay every week, free, same as always. These open lives are part of that. The deeper version, Coffee with Cody, runs every Saturday inside the Survivor Circle.

Come to the next one. Get in the room.

— Cody Taymore

Kill The Silence

Thank you 💨Ashley Schmitt🫟™️, Dr Vicki Connop, Megan Against Injustice, RN, Renata Rads, Jamie Lee, Kathy Dirickson, and many others for tuning into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit killthesilenceofficial.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit killthesilenceofficial.substack.com

This is the first Coffee with Cody.

It is the start of a weekly room where we sit down together, coffee in hand, and talk like actual people. No stage, no expert up front. Just me and whoever shows up.

In this first one I got into why I built this, and where Kill The Silence actually came from. I started it when I was suffering in silence, barely getting …

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit killthesilenceofficial.substack.com/subscribe

Thank you for tuning in!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit killthesilenceofficial.substack.com/subscribe

Thank you Christopher Carazas, Jackie Sawiris, Kristen Brown, krilltazz, Liz Bishop, and many others for tuning into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit killthesilenceofficial.substack.com/subscribe

Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit killthesilenceofficial.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit killthesilenceofficial.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit killthesilenceofficial.substack.com/subscribe