Kink Craft

Each week we talk about an adult themed topic. This week we are talking about Puppy play 101 based on the article written for us by Emmeline Peaches.

Strictly come dancing star Susan Calman has said she is "offended" by the row over her dance partner on the show. The openly lesbian comedian has faced critisim online for agreeing to dance with a male partner. She also notes she is getting a lot more critisim than the fellow competitor The Reverend Richard Coles who is gay.

"For the gay community to criticise me and try to get me what they want to do is, I think, as difficult as suggesting the straight community are trying to. No one is holding me hostage in this room, making me wear a dress and dance with a man. I want to learn how to dance,"

Read more

This week Lagos in Nigera held a plus size fashion event, it was well attended and showed off all manner of fashions and designs. But it has sparked critisim for promoting obesity through fashion.

Read more

Conservative MP Jacob Rees-Mogg has said he would go to a gay wedding and would probably enjoy it, despite believing the practice should not be allowed.

"Marriage is a sacrament and the decision of what is a sacrament lies with the Church not with Parliament."

Read more

Former prime minister John Joward thinks that children in the country would face consequences is same-sex marriage was legalised as he puts his support behind the "No" campaign.

"The clear evidence is that you have outcomes that are ­superior for children in the longer term if they have a mother and a father,"

Note: In fact, the Australian Medical Association and the Australia Psychological Society said that there was no scientific evidence to prove that children of heterosexual families had better outcomes.

Read more

An interesting article in the Guardian caught my eye this week. Is it right to split the price of a date? What happens when they then ask you back to theirs.

Read more

Nestlé have create an entirly natural pink chocolate that uses no artifical colours or ingredients. Read more

Puppy play is one of those things you hear about and see on the Internet but don't often get to see first hand unless it is something you are into. This week Emmeline talks about why she enjoys it and what she and her handler get from it.

• Check out the website http://kinkcraft.co
• Follow us on Twitter @KinkCraft
• Find us on on Pinterest @KinkCraft
• Talk to us on Facebook http://facebook.com/MyKinkCraft
• Follow us on instagram https://www.instagram.com/kink_craft/
• Send us an email podcast [at] kinkcraft.co

As I was walking my dog today I realized why observing him brought me so much joy.

Dogs are carefree, adventurous, curious, and high-spirited. They are, in every sense of the word, boundless, and they live their life in the moment and to the fullest.

Yet, although dogs may also enjoy independent exploration of the world they also happen to be loving, dedicated, and sweetly submissive. Who wouldn't want to bring at least some of these traits into their sub/dom dynamic?

To give a short synopsis of a rather extensive sub-division of kink, puppy play is a form of fetish in which users get pleasure from either enacting the role of a dog (usually a 'puppy' mentality) or through being the owner/handler/trainer of such an individual.

As you can imagine, there's a lot of roleplay involved in the puppy play fetish, especially for the submissive, who will either take on a partial or total animal persona that they act out in the framework of the scene/play session that they're part of.

Puppy play may sound bizarre at first but the premise is very much like that of any other sub/dom dynamic.

For the person taking on the role of the puppy there is a certain appeal that comes with the release of responsibility that we are faced with on a day-to-day basis. Many of these people also feel that dogs have the positive attributes mentioned above and being able to embody them is an empowering act.

Dogs, unlike slaves or adult babies, also have their own sense of independence which is always accessible when desired. Where a slave might be reprimanded for being a bit too playful or defiant, it's almost a given with a pup. Where an adult baby or toddler may feel like being disobedient or a bit aloof, it is out of character for their role, dogs can sometimes be a bit quirky in their behaviour.

As such, the puppy play community sometimes consider themselves as having a rather liberating sub/dom dynamic, and this can have a large appeal to anyone who doesn't count themselves as a complete sub.

In addition to having a fun dynamic, puppy play also has a playful sense of fashion which can almost be described as part-kink, part-furry.

Leather is highly featured in the puppy play community, fuelled in part by the strong link between the puppy play community and the Gay kink community (making for one badass combination). This striking look involves harnesses, collars, and leads but also paw pads and shoulder pads to facilitate practical pup-like movement.

For vegetarian and vegan pups there are also leather alternatives, vinyl, and PVC to create a similar aesthetic, so no one gets to miss out on the kinkier aspects of puppy play fashion.

But, in addition to this more conventional kink attire, pups also get to wear puppy hoods should they choose – headwear made to look like a dog. These hoods can be partial (perhaps just ears and a muzzle) or full but the selection of the right hood can be an incredibly thrilling part of the process.

There are all types of hoods out there too – from cutesy, sweet puppy hoods with floppy ears and a playfully lopping tongue right through to hardcore leather hoods with a fierce snarl and a metal spiked mohawk. Once in the hood users can experience sensory deprivation but also, in many cases, a sense of immersion which helps them get into the puppy mindset and enhances the incredible sense of release that puppy play provides.

Oh, and collars too. Not unique to puppy play but highly significant. I'm sure you can figure out why.

For those who like playing the pup, the puppy play movement may seem like a natural (and exciting) progression of their sexual, or relationship dynamics, but there are, of course, concerns out there from those who just don't 'get it'.

As with adult babies and paedophilia, some people may hear 'puppy play' and make the knee jerk reaction that such people are into bestiality or so-called zoophilia.

This, as you can imagine, is entirely incorrect.

People in to puppy play don't have an attraction to dogs. Rather, they want to either embody (or be dominant over someone who embodies) the positive traits that humans project onto dogs which they find attractive or appealing.

Puppy play enthusiasts understand that they are not dogs and that humans can never truly embody the actions nor mentality of dogs, but sometimes playing the role of a dog is just…well…fun.

Chances are anyone who loves puppy play also counts themselves as a dog lover and would never wish to see any distress or abuse imposed upon them, which would include sexual acts attempted with them. As a pup myself I can vouch for the fact that just the thought of such an act of abuse is incredibly distressing.

Besides, in a world where bunny girls and feline femmes are seen as the height of female sexual attraction then what's wrong with pupping it up from time to time?

Puppy play is complex, diverse, offers a range of consent and play options, and allows people to explore some of the best traits of man's best friend. What's not to love about that?

The fact that puppy play comes with its own unique fashion options is also a huge appeal and the fact that some of it can be purchased at your local pet shop is a massive bonus (or, should that be bone-us?)

So, if you're looking for a BDSM sub-movement and feel like you want to embrace your inner canine then why not dip your toes into the puppy play movement from time to time? No doubt you'll be welcomed with excited barks and wagging tails.

• Check out the website http://kinkcraft.co
• Follow us on Twitter @KinkCraft
• Find us on on Pinterest @KinkCraft
• Talk to us on Facebook http://facebook.com/MyKinkCraft
• Follow us on instagram https://www.instagram.com/kink_craft/
• Send us an email podcast [at] kinkcraft.co

This week we are talking about our article Sex blogging: Why gender makes absolutely no difference written by Innocent Lovetboy.

Big thanks to Hot Octopus for putting us on their top sex podcasts list

As one of the leading UK department stores John Lewis has taken the surprising step of getting rid of gendered clothing. Their own lines will now no longer be aimed at a specific gender.

Read more

Students at a school in Sudney are protesting a homophobi bishop on their school board by covering the crests on their blazers with Rainbows.

Read More

A boy in Texas has been suspended from kinder-garden for having long hair.

Read more

Being male and wanting to blog about sex isn't the norm, in fact it is very unusual. We have been able to meet a lot of UK sex bloggers and they are overwhelmingly female. But that doesn't mean you have to be female to blog about sex, being male and having something to say can be very important.

• Check out the website http://kinkcraft.co
• Follow us on Twitter @KinkCraft
• Find us on on Pinterest @KinkCraft
• Talk to us on Facebook http://facebook.com/MyKinkCraft
• Follow us on instagram https://www.instagram.com/kink_craft/
• Send us an email podcast [at] kinkcraft.co

Let's address this issue without flinching. Despite what the media try to tell you there are undoubtedly some amazing male sex bloggers out there. They may be harder to find - or slightly lower in profile - than some of the female big hitters, but they are there. There are lists made, posts written, and networking at events, and you only need to do a quick Google search to find a male blogger.

However this is my tenth year of writing a sex blog. When I started, I was one of about two boy bloggers around. I was the most active, I was the most honest - and, although the following years brought fresh blood to the pack, I was (for a while) the youngest.

For me this doesn't feel odd. I've gone through life - education, training, and work, as well as socially - making my way in what are traditionally (and unfairly) seen as female-dominated areas. My classes at school were primarily girls; it was the same at university, my second degree finding me as one of three boys in a year of over 100. Most of my friends are girls, I don't have any brothers, and every boss I've ever had has been female.

Why does this affect me sex blogging? Well, it doesn't. I don't feel outnumbered, outclassed, or alone. I love blogging and I love bloggers - why should it matter that I'm not a lady? It doesn't bother me.

While the reception I've had among the blogosphere has been mostly positive, the mainstream media is a completely different animal. Girl bloggers get a certain degree of exposure, which is well-deserved in some cases, yet occasionally stems from the fact that "it's a girl writing about sex!" is something which can be easily, and unfairly, sensationalised. As a boy, I'm expected to be bolshy about sex and talk about it constantly with my male friends. Boys don't do that - genuinely, they don't.

It's the lack of conversation I got from my peers which prompted me to start my blog, so perhaps the reaction I get when I tell people - one of polite incredulity - isn't an unexpected one. I don't tend to ask what people think: what am I expecting? Do they suddenly have visions of me with an incredibly overactive sex life, extraordinary fetishes and a predatory attitude? I think that's pretty unlikely. Most people have some degree of sexuality - all I'm doing is talking about it!

One thing which does set me apart from other sex bloggers - of any and all genders, including male ones - is that there isn't a lot of kink, BD/SM, or toy reviews. From what I've seen, a lot of boy bloggers review sex toys, are in a D/S relationship (or are part of a couple), are polyamorous or have a particular kink. What sets me apart seems not to be the fact that I'm a boy; it's that I'm vanilla!

I'm fine with all these things, by the way, but none of them apply to me! In fact, the reaction from other sex bloggers themselves has been more similar to "what DO you write about?", not having a proclivity to focus on or a niche to carve out. I find that lack of rigidity incredibly freeing, more than anything else - it means I can write about whatever I like, giving my readers (and myself) more of a variety in the sort of content I'm likely to get out. A lot of the best blogs do this - audiences love a wide array of things to keep them entertained.

On the other hand, there are bloggers who have told me that they have nothing to write about because they have to write about a specific kink they have, or if they only review toys, or something similar. This often seems to me like it can hold bloggers back - if they're putting pressure on themselves to turn out content they think everyone expects of them, than can be a little dull, and frustrating for the blogger as well, especially if they're just doing it for attention, rather than desire. I've always said: it's your blog, so write what you want, rather than what you think people want!

I've never found it difficult to write about sex, to the point of running a session at Eroticon '17 about keeping your blog going. I just click "new post", open the compose window and go!

In among all this muddle, one thing I have been asked a fair few times is my opinion on the idea of more men blogging about sex and sexuality. As I've said above, I'm far from being the only male sex blogger out there, but I am one of the more seasoned ones... and I've seen it happen. I've even seen men pose as women because they think they won't be read otherwise. I think it's a positive thing for anyone of any gender to share their views on sexuality - that's what blogs are for, inviting discourse! - but I don't really think gender matters as much as sexuality does. I've seen brave attempts at male sex blogs started by people BECAUSE they are a boy, or IN SPITE OF the fact that they aren't a girl, which really doesn't help!

So why don't men write sex blogs? We do! You just need to look... or, better yet, ask!

• The Edge of Vanilla – Tom's been around for longer than me, and he was one of the first readers and supporters of my blog!
• The Big Gay Review – I'm not a sex toy fan, but I love this blog. It's hilarious and informative, and Adam's a great writer.
• The Sex Experiment – This is a delightfully unconventional take on things, different from anything else. It's not being updated any more, but it's well worth reading through the archive.
• This D/s Life – This is by Michael (aka Signs), and his cheeky tone adds a wonderful "light side" to the frequently-discussed topic of a D/s relationship.

This week we are talking about the article from our blog called "Sex Invisible" by KD Grace.

Donald Trump officially instructs the US Military to stop accepting transgender troops into service.

Read more

To go along with a public vote on whether the country should allow gay marrage, they also want to ask if the public wants to ban face coverings in public.

Check out the video of a dad going mad at this.

Read more

Austrailian MP claims gay people stole the word "Gay" from them and now they want the word "Marrage" as well.

Read more

The archbishop of Sydney has claimed the UK should be a warning to Austrailer on equal marrage.

Read more

The Finish government opts to keep laws that force the serilisation of trans people who want to change their sex. They are seen as suffering from the disease of "Transexualism".k

Read more

Does sex stop at 39? Of course not, if anything sex can get better once you are 40. But everything you see in the world suggests it only happens between 20 somethings. We are here to say that isn't the case.

• Check out the website http://kinkcraft.co
• Follow us on Twitter @KinkCraft
• Find us on on Pinterest @KinkCraft
• Talk to us on Facebook http://facebook.com/MyKinkCraft
• Follow us on instagram https://www.instagram.com/kink_craft/
• Send us an email podcast [at] kinkcraft.co

In the age of pixels and videos, airbrushed ads and billboards, sex sells, but only glamourous sex, only the sex of youth and beauty. Let's be honest, we live in a world where no one wants to see 'mature sex.' In fact, in our visually oriented lives, sex and age are not words that compliment each other. Sex between people over forty is something best kept out of sight, out of mind.

When viewing scantily clothed people, we want them to be attractive. When reading a sexy novel, the characters we see in our imaginations are fit, lean and beautiful when they sweat and writhe and frolic with one another. Bottom line – visible sex is for the thirty and under crowd. For anyone much older than that, invisible sex is the standard.

Sexual invisibility definitely applies for anyone over forty, especially women. And that's not necessarily bad. While sexually invisible, we might be, if anything, we have more sexual freedom and fewer inhibitions than those who are younger. A great deal of the more relaxed attitude we have toward sex is because of that invisibility.

Sex and youth and the biology that drives us are meant to preen and flaunt, attract and arouse. The survival of the species depends on it. Even though these days it's less about procreation and more about recreation than it was for our cave dwelling ancestors, the biology is still there. And the truth is that after a certain age, our sexuality becomes irrelevant. If we're planning to do our part in guaranteeing the next generation, we've already done the deed. Tick that box and move on. At that point, our sexuality becomes whatever we're willing to make of it.

In a share group about female sexuality I sat in on once, several things became very evident. For younger women there was far more stress around having sex, far more pressure to be having it often and far more pressure to be seen as sexual and attractive. Among those of us over forty, there was a quiet confidence. There was a sense of adventure that had less to do with the need to be thought of as 'doing it right' than just the need to enjoy the hard-earned freedom that comes from our experiences. While for the younger crowd, attraction is a key ingredient, whether it's the upkeep of the 'lady garden' or the best way to display the package, for the older, been-there-done-that-crowd, it was more about creative sex and the sexual self at the centre of our own journeys. There was less to stress about, there was a subdued sense of anticipation.

I can only speak from my own experiences and observations. If I'm honest, it's possible that some of my comments may come from a tiny bit of sour grapes at wondering why the age of young and beautiful sex passed me by so quickly. But speaking for myself, whether visible and beautiful or invisible and raunchy, sex is a far deeper component of who I am that I ever could have imagined when I was twenty and the world was new to me. The many layers of sexuality have become more obvious and more important now that I'm well past forty.

The stunning connection between sex and creativity, between sex and the timeless wild woman who lives at the core of me is a brave new world to be explored without the stress of finding a partner and being sexual eye candy. The discovery of just how far beneath the skin my sexuality actually goes is an endless adventure, explored as much through the avenue of my writing as through the physical act. In fact one deepens the other. Even the sexual explorations with a partner become less about looks and more about something that goes core deep, something a lot freer, something we feel far less of a need to control.

In many ways, it's our naughty little secret that people who are past the age of beautiful sex can be horny and filthy and fuck like rabbits. Who knew? And in truth, no one really wants to know unless they're over forty. And then that naughty little secret becomes a much-needed lifeline to something powerful enough to move us past the loss of youth and beauty into the exciting new world beyond.

Perhaps the very best thing about sex invisible is that the pressure is off. What we do or don't do in bed is all right by us. Fewer things embarrass us, fewer things frighten us, fewer things worry us. That alone can't help but improve ones sex life.

In some ways I think my writing reflects my own sexual journey. Most of my characters are at the sexually beautiful age because that's the kind of story that sells. But the stories I write have moved from the skin to skin of the physical act to the whole body, three dimensional experience of the sensual act, the mental and emotional act the personal act that all add up to the total package of our sexuality.

I suppose a big part of that has to do with my endless fascination with what actually makes sex so damn magical? Why is it the thing that intrigues us most about being human, while at the same time the thing that frightens us most?

How deep our sexuality goes into our human nature becomes more visible with experience, and experience comes with age. While it's the air brushed, waxed well coiffed and fit sex, the visible sex of youth and beauty we want to see and read about and imagine, it's a far bigger picture of the Self we reach when our sexuality is allowed to guide us through middle age and beyond.

While we may pine for youth and beauty, we'd never want to give up the depth of sexual experience, of life experience that leads us to sex invisible and the secret smiles that maybe don't drive story and don't sell perfume, but sure as hell make life sizzle long past middle age.

• Check out the website http://kinkcraft.co
• Follow us on Twitter @KinkCraft
• Find us on on Pinterest @KinkCraft
• Talk to us on Facebook http://facebook.com/MyKinkCraft
• Follow us on instagram https://www.instagram.com/kink_craft/
• Send us an email podcast [at] kinkcraft.co

This week we are talking about Asexuality and Kink based on the article written by The Pagist. If you have not read it you can listen to it here on the podcast or read the article.

Last week we made a little mistake. We said it was all quiet and there was little to report. Just as the Nazi's came out in Charlottesville. We recorded that episode a bit earlier than normal so we could go to a super secret meeting that weekend.

Out hearts go out to the victoms in Charlottesville and Barcelona. We wish you all the best.

"The price of freedom is eternal vigilance" - Leonard H. Courtney

On top of all that Bruce Forsyth [9:35] has died.

Indian women are protesting politicians in their home country who think women should be at home late at night.

Read more

On the rise in the UK are incidents of men trying to take pictures up womens skirts. In what can only be termed assult, some perpertaitors actually seem to think it is fine.

Read more

The number 15,000 has been thrown around a lot recently as the number of tensgender personnel serving in the US military. It seems that number is well off the mark to the tune of about 5 thousand.

Read more

There just isn't the time to go into the huge pay gap for women working at the BBC.

Read more

When you have a kink you must love sex right? That simply isn't the case, you can plnety of kinks that have nothing to do with sex. How you want enjoy your kinks is totally up to you and you can do it how you want.

• Check out the website http://kinkcraft.co
• Follow us on Twitter @KinkCraft
• Find us on on Pinterest @KinkCraft
• Talk to us on Facebook http://facebook.com/MyKinkCraft
• Follow us on instagram https://www.instagram.com/kink_craft/
• Send us an email podcast [at] kinkcraft.co

I've previously written here about some of the questions asexuals receive about our sexuality (or lack thereof).

One I didn't cover was the responses we receive when we come out as kinky. Kinksters are generally considered to be people with a PhD in sex, so it's understandable that when the average person finds out someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction is kinky it would cause gears to grind to a halt in their head and the words: 'But, I thought you were asexual?' to come flying out of their mouths with great haste.

After all:

Kink can be about anything you want it to be about. Power, control, trust, creativity. Even for sexual people, some kinks aren't sexual. Sploshing (playing with food, mud, paint, etc), for instance, can just be about having fun and making a big mess like you've been told not to since you were a child.

Some kinks are sensation based. Being tickled or caressed with silky fabrics or having warm (not hot) wax dripped on the body can be about the specific feeling occurring and can be meditative when it's not being used as a way to get from point A to point Sex.

Allowing a person to do these sorts of things and trusting they aren't using it as a way to initiate sex is incredibly intimate and, for asexuals, a relief. BDSM encourages communicating and respecting boundaries, as well as enjoying specific activities for what they are in a way that non-kinky sex doesn't always, where penetrative sex is often seen as the ultimate goal of any sort of affection.

There are also fetishists that simply like the feel, sight or smell of wearing latex, rubber, leather, silk, or any other textile or texture you can think of. It may be sexual or it may just be sensual.

Another non-sexual way to enjoy kink is heavy bondage—where a person is completely encased in what's called a body bag or something similar. This sort of equipment makes sex impossible. Some people find the experience sexually arousing while others find it comforting and relaxing. Finally, they can stop worrying about answering every text—they literally can't see, hear or reach their phone! It gives them permission to forget about work for the hour or so they're being restrained.

Kink can be used to trigger neurochemicals that give a person a natural high—this is usually achieved by administering pain in carefully orchestrated ways (not just hauling off and having a go at someone). This feeling is called 'subspace'. One of the best parts of subspace is there's no hangover. It can be triggered by intense psychological domination in some cases, as well.

Role play is about, well, play. Once we're over a certain age we're no longer allowed to make up characters and pretend to be anything other than who we are. There's no rule that says the only time you can pretend to be another person is when you want to get your genitals out. Kink is about finding people who want to be creative—who celebrate creativity. You can create characters for one scene or discover an aspect of yourself to bring back again and again. Costumes and props not required.

Above all, BDSM scenes are collaborative and require communication. The bottom (person receiving stimulation) has to know themselves well and be able to communicate what they need and want from various types of scenes and the top (person running the scene) has to take that information and use it to create something they'll both enjoy. As the people involved get to know and trust one another more, scenes can become more involved and intense and emotionally intimate.

##Service

This one gets its own heading because it's a bit more complicated to explain. (And it's my favourite.)

Service is more about identity—it's about the DS in the middle of BDSM, or the people who identify as Dominant or submissive.

Some people find a deep sense of satisfaction in being useful to their leader type, which can be a Dominant, Master, Owner or other person they've allowed to have a consensual leadership position in their life. Doing things for that person is called 'providing service' and can literally be anything. Cleaning the house, grooming the dog, running errands, handling taxes. Whatever the follower type (submissive, slave, pet, property, etc) is good at.

It's important that the follower be good at the service they're providing, as both members of the power exchange (or authority transfer) want the relationship to succeed. Followers want to make their leaders happy and leaders want to provide opportunities for their followers to make them happy. Assigning someone a task they can't accomplish is called setting someone up to fail and it's a sign of the bad kind of sadist who's on a serious power trip.

People who derive great enjoyment from making life easier for their leader type are called service-oriented submissives. This is the title even if you identify as a slave or property or human puppy. Sexual service is a type of service some people provide, if you're wondering, but it doesn't have to be and it's not a given.

Not everyone who is submissive enjoys providing service. They may do as they're told because it makes their leader type happy and they like that part. Some of us are lucky and we genuinely love doing chores (no, a service-oriented submissive cleaning service doesn't exist.)

People who provide service may get everything they need from the service itself and may not even engage in kink play with their leader type.

Or they may have full on kinky monkey sex with them. That's to be decided between each couple or group just like any other consensual relationship.

There are myriad ways to connect with and be attracted to other people—intellectually, romantically, physically, sexually, emotionally, and so on. Kink scenes and relationships provide an entire playground of ways to explore those connections, deepen your intimacy and learn about your partner(s) and yourself.

• Check out the website http://kinkcraft.co
• Follow us on Twitter @KinkCraft
• Find us on on Pinterest @KinkCraft
• Talk to us on Facebook http://facebook.com/MyKinkCraft
• Follow us on instagram https://www.instagram.com/kink_craft/
• Send us an email podcast [at] kinkcraft.co

This week we are talking about Body Positivity based on Candy Snatch's article (listen to the previous episode to hear the audio version). It is something we all encounter every day. For some it is a non-issue, they are at ease with who they are. But for many feeling positive about their own body is something they find hard to do.

This week CandySnatch has written an article about body positivity and what it means to her. Why you need to stop being so critical of how you look and concentrate on how you feel. You might be able to control how you look, you might not. But it doesn't define who you are, you get to decide that.