Kink Craft

This week we are talking about Mutual Masturbation written by Molly Moore. But before we go into that we just need to say how sad we are for the attack that happend in London this week and our sympathies are with the families.

Rants Sex toy maker WeVibe pays 6.75 million to settle lawsuite [8:30]

This is actually a topic I wrote an article for EAN magazine on months ago. It turned out the WeVibe which is controlled by a mobile phone app actually logs all sorts of information about the user every time it is used. Including when it was used, settings, and even temperature. There was no mention of this on their website of in their terms an conditions. So it has ended up in court and they have lost badly.

Read more about it here

Uber COO stands down [12:00]

We have talked about Uber in the past and their shameful business practices that seem to be going inside the company. As part of that the COO has stepped down saying "It is now clear, however, that the beliefs and approach to leadership that have guided my career are inconsistent with what I saw and experienced at Uber". So it seems the problems run deep at the company and it is now starting to affect their management.

Find out more here

YouTube hiding LGBT videos [13:26]

YouTube has been caught hiding videos put out by LGBT creators when restricted mode was turned on. This meant content that was perfectly safe was not appearing for users of the system.

Find out more

Mutual Masturbation [17:00]

It was really interesting reading this weeks article and explore some of the ideas around it. There is a lot to discuss and there is a surprising depth to the topic. From a couple doing it part of their play to teaching someone else what you like. It can be used in so many ways.

Because we covered Eroticon last week we are covering two topics this week. First isPiecing together peace by Emmeline Peaches. The second is Erotic Massage byVictoria Blisse.

Both great topics and we have a lot to say on them, but before that it was a great week for rants.

Rants Kink.com moving from their famous premises [1.40]

Kink.com are one of the major producers of porn in the US. They produce all sorts of weird and wonderful types of porn and employ a large number of people to produce it on a regular basis.

They have famously owned the The Armory in San Francisco. Previous a home for the national guard, it is an easily recognisable building.

This is an interesting article because it shows there isn't the money in making porn there once was. Kink.com is a large company that makes a lot of content, and has done for a long time. If anyone knows what they are doing it is them. But (and I am seeing this more and more) there is now such easy access to free porn sites like Kink.com are struggling to make it work for them.

But there does also seem to be an growing emergence of small independent producers like Pandora Blake who can make a great living catering to a very specific niche (Spanking in Pandora's case).

It is going to be interesting to see where this goes.

Original article on Vocativ

Tesco chairman is utterly tone deaf around #InternationWomensDay [13:00]

Being a white male is a privileged position, it doesn't always feel that way but I am becoming more and more away of how much better I have it than a lot of people.Cara Sutra wrote a great post on Admitting my privilege and realising I'm a feminist after all.

John Allen (Chairman of Tesco) told a group of aspiring non-executive directors that white men have become an "endangered species". Where experts say the numbers do not match Mr Allen's assessment in the least. Women accounted for only 29% of appointments to board last year, the lowest proportion since 2012.

It is unfortunate that the chair of one of the largest companies in the UK doesn't understand the privileged position he is in by being white and male. His inability to see the gifts he has been given speak a lot about his views on women.

Original article in the Financial Times

Father rapes his own daughter to prove sex with men is better [20:50]

A father who raped his gay daughter to prove "sex was better with men" has been jailed for 21 years.

This one just totally boggles my mind. What is wrong with someone to think that the right thing to do when their own daughter comes out to them as being gay is to rape her to prove sex with men in better?

There are literally no words that really cover how we feel about this.

Original article in the Independent

School in US body shames its students over what they can wear to prom [24:43]

A catholic high school in Illinois put out a lengthily prom dress code handbook that commented on which dresses certain body shapes could wear and what they couldn't. There were 21 slides in total with 15 of them being aimed only a the girls.

In the same article Ed Sheeran signs the best sick note ever.

Original article on the BBC

Finding peace with crafting [31:30]

Emmeline writes a great article on why crafting can be an incredibly calming experience. The act of making something with your hands, the repetitive nature of doing the same task again and again, thinking only about what you are working on now.

All these things have a wonderfully calming effect on the brain, and provide a wonderful distraction from the every day stresses we all have.

It is something we have seen again and again at events when we are crafting with people. After a little while when they have got the hang of what they are doing they go very quiet and simply focus on getting their job done. After they have finished, besides feeling very proud of themselves for making something, they will say they found it a very therapeutic experience.

Erotic Massage [45:00]

Do you put enough time into looking after your partner? Perhaps a good massage is something you need to try? It doesn't have to lead to sex, it can be simply a pleasurable and relaxing experience for the both of you to enjoy each others company and let off a little of the everyday strains.

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We are just back from Eroticon and it was a lot of fun, but a lot of work. But it was great to catch up with so many of the bloggers and authors we talk to on a regular basis. A huge hand needs to go to Molly, Michael, and Girl on the Net for all the work they put into making Eroticon happen.

Rant - Just the one No gays please, we're Christian

Drive in theatre in Alabama will NOT be showing the new Disney film "Beauty and the Beast" because the director has said one of the characters (not a main one) is gay.

If I can't sit through a movie with God or Jesus sitting by me then we have no business showing it. I know there will be some that do not agree with this decision. That's fine. We are first and foremost Christians. We will not compromise on what the Bible teaches. We will continue to show family oriented films so you can feel free to come watch wholesome movies without worrying about sex, nudity, homosexuality and foul language.

They make a great point in the article that the theatre is happy to show a film about a Polynesian Demi-God (Moana) and a film glamorising the suicide bombings of government installations (Rogue One). But a film with a gay character... no thank you.

Found on IO9

Eroticon

There is so much to talk about it is hard to know where to start. The best part of being at the event was getting to meet all the amazing writers and bloggers we work with.

We work with so many talented people but a lot of them are either at the other end of the country, or in another country all together. Finally getting meet them face to face makes it so much better.

There were so many great people, and I know there are a ton here we have missed off. But do check out Formidable Femme, @MarvyDarling (Sorry I cocked up your name, totally dropped the r), Emmeline Peaches, The Pageist, Scandarella, Gryphon,Candy Snatch, Violet Fenn, Sub bee, Tabatha Rayne....

and so many many more.

If you have never been to event like this you need to go to experience it. Eroticon especially is excellent, and well worth going to. Once you have been you will be count down the days to the next one.

Find out more about us

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Sorry about the bad audio quality at the start of the audio. I was messing around with the settings and didn't notice the audio was clipping out. I got it under control a little way into the recording. So please bare with it.

This week we are talking about our blog article "Why you need a fetish trainer" written by Jetsetting Jasmine. We talk about what it is, who Jetsetting Jasmine is, and why you might want to consider it.

We do know That's the spot who does do some couples work but this is very different.

Rants

What would be a week with some good rants?

Straight women have fewer orgasms [3:00]

The report in Archives of Sexual Behaviour revealed a "variety of behaviors couples can try to increase orgasm frequency". The report talked to a lot of people from all different walks to determine who was getting the best and most varied sex.

The proportion of people who usually orgasmed was:

• 65% of heterosexual women
• 66% of bisexual women
• 86% of lesbian women
• 88% of bisexual men
• 89% of gay men
• 95% of heterosexual men

Straight from the BBC

Uber is a huge misogynist mess [8:00]

This week a former Uber employee called Susan Fowler write an article on what it was like to work for the tech giant. It turns out the company is awash with rampant sexism and disgraceful behaviour.

From being propositioned for sex on the first day... by her boss. To being told the women of the company wouldn't get jackets like the men because there weren't enough of them to make it worthwhile.

Uber is taking steps to look at what has been said to try and chance the culture. Only time will tell if they can fix the problems.

Originally spotted in The Verge

Women snaps wing mirror off van [12:54]

From the Daily Mail a video shows a woman being catcalled from a van as she waits on her bike at traffic lights. After the van moves away she races after them, and when she catches them she breaks a wing mirror off the vehicle.

Fake News - It turns out this isn't actually real, the Huffington Post has revealed this was actually setup by a company in Shoreditch.

Why you need a Fetish Trainer [21:00]

Written by Jetsetting Jasmine who is actually going to be at Eroticon, so we are really looking forward to saying hello.

We asked her to write this article because she is a trained therapist and runs her own fetish training companies. They work with a lot of people on this exact subject to help them understand more about their own desires.

What we liked the most was their approach to someone who finds they don't enjoy a fetish. That isn't a negative outcome, that is exactly what they want because it shows someone has realised what THEY want, and is now able to talk about it. that isn't a failure, it is a success.

For all types

Knowing where to start with fetishes is hard. If it is something you have never done before where can you start? There is information out there on the Internet, but that doesn't work for everyone. Especially if they find the things they like hard to deal with.

This is where a fetish trainer can come in and really help someone understand not just how a fetish works, but if it is something they want to explore, and how.

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This week we are talking about what it is like to be a pro-domme. Based on the article written for us by Dominar Jen. We talk about what it was like for where, the ups and the downs.

Before we start. Is it said like "Dom" or "Domm-e"? You hear both ways of saying it out in the world which is the right way? I think you say it like you say the French work "Femme", you would say it "Fem". That way the words "Dom" and "Domme" are actually said the same way because they mean the same thing. They are just written differently to denote the sex of the person.

Rants Woman battles to seperate from husband [1:45]

A UK court tells a woman she must stay with her husband who she wants to divore for no other reason than this was "of the kind to be expected in marriage". This is incredibly unusual in the UK and not something we thought we see here in the UK.

Find the full story on the BBC

Psychologists find people who like BDSM are just like everyone else [6:55]

A great article on Psychology Today written by@MichaelAaronPhD (based on research done by @Dr_Markie_Twist (Website)) about debunking popular myths around BDSM. Based on a actual study done on 200 people, this ethically approved study used a number of standard based approaches to see what people who enjoyed BDSM were really like.

Looking into things like "Do people who enjoy BDSM come from abusive childhoods?". Of course they don't, and the study finds there is no corolation at all between abuse and BDSM.

It is well worth your time reading the study and looking at the tests they actually did.

Being a pro-domme [12:36]

Written for us by Dominar Jen who was a Pro-Domme for a year so is well places to talk about her experiences. She is actually one of this years top 100 sex bloggers which is how we found out about her and her great blog.

What is a Pro-Domme?

The term "Pro-Domme" is a loaded one. It seems to conjour up this image of a beautuful woman, rising crop in hand, and high black boots.

The reality is it is a really hard job where you are providing very personal services to people. But it isn't who that person really is.

Jen makes the great point that she isn't the one in control when she is providing this service. She is Topping people at best, it isn't Doming someone when they are paying for a service.

It was a lot of fun

While she loves Domming people this was a job, and while that means it wasn't always fun it was fun 75% of the time. Which is pretty good for any job.

It's an easy way to make money?

Yeah right. It is far from easy to do this as a job. Sometimes the clients likes will line up with her own but often it just wouldn't but she would still have to do it.

Find out more about us

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This week we are talking about the article written for us by Erryn Embers on Whorepobia.

Rants

Where is a good week without a couple of nice rants?

Cinema bans single men from screenings of new 50 shades darker film

A cinema in Ireland has banned single men from seeing the new "50 shades darker" film on their own. It seems the owner of cinema is terrified of women become too caught up in this raunchy film and won't be able to control themselves.

"The film is basically porn for women, going on what the distributors are describing to us."

I hate to say this but women have been able to watch porn for a while now, they even great porn made just for. I don't think this is going to do much for them.

See the original article here.

Anal rape of suspect with policeman truncheon was an accident

Police in France have claimed that an officer anally raped a 22-year-old black man with a truncheon by mistake.

This happened recently in France and has caused a massive outcry. The abuse of black men by police in the country has been appalling. With feelings over the mess reaching fever pitch.

The youth worker suffered such severe injuries to his rectum during an arrest last week in Aulnay-sous-Bois, north of Paris, that he needed major emergency surgery and remains in hospital.

But when an internal investigation has concluded with a finding of "insufficient evidence" that the man was raped.

To his credit the magistrate over looking this was not happy and has charged one of the police officers with rape and is still investigating the case. Three other officers have been charged with assault and all four have been suspended.

See the original article from the Independant.

FetLife forced to censor hundreds of groups

FetLife was forced to take action after one of the large card companies asked for its card processing accounts to be closed. Their only available response was to get rid of any and all questionably content.

It is worrying when a card issuer can force a site to close and give no reason for their decision with no way to appeal the decision.

The DailyXtra has a good article covering what happened.

FetLife's own response

Watching porn in public is harassment

This comes off the back of and article that was on this weeks womans hour (listen to it here) and ended up with an article in the Guardian.

The basic contention being that some guy watching porn in public is harassing women.

Whorephobia

Someone we know and have talked to a lot if Charlotte Rose. She is an activist and a sex workers. So it really sickens me when she posted this tweet of what someone was saying to her.

It is a great example of Whorephobia. The hatred of a sex worker for no reason other than that they are a sex worker.

BBC has just put out a great video of "Things not to say to a sex worker" it is only 6 minutes long and well worth a watch.

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This week we are talking about our article sex work law reform and the Nordic model vs the New Zealand model (if you don't know what that means it is OK we will explain it.) Written by: Screw Taboo

Rants Prove you were raped to keep tax credits

The UK government used Trump's inauguration to sneak out a change to out tax law that will force women who want to keep their tax credits for their third child, to prove it was rape that was the cause of that child. Otherwise they will not receive tax credits.

This is from an article I found in the Independent. It is simply outrageous and utter tone deaf of the government to do something like this.

Bright yellow car vandalised in the Cotswolds for spoiling the view

An 84 year old retired dentist has had is car written off when vandals attacked it during the night. The reason... because it was spoiling the view of their picturesque village.

Find out more from this article in the telegraph.

Misophonia - Turns out I'm mental

If you become angry at the sound of someone eating you might have Misophonia. It is a condition that, when triggered by the right sound, will cause you to get instantly angry.

A whole study was done, check it out in the New Scientist.

Sex Work Law Reform

The difference between the Nordic model vs the New Zealand model. In brief the the Nordic model doesn't criminalise selling sex but keeps buying sex illegal. The New Zealand model entirely legalises sex work in all its forms. Meaning sex works get the rights and responsibilities that all employees and employers have.

We talk about what those two models mean, what the UK law is like, and does it make sense to go down this path of opening it up.

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This week we are talking about our article based on the Valentine's gift guidewritten by Scandarella. Check out the article for a list of great things you can get for your valentines.

Pornhub statistics

How could I resist checking out the new pornhub statistics for 2016, and they are worth looking at. If nothing else just for the fun they have had with the graphics.

Some of the highlights

• 3110 petabytes stremed over the year
• 99 gigbytes streamed per minute
• 91 billion videos watched

The British are cumming

There is an interesting selection of stats for the British. But the one I understand the least is the term "British Chav" I was hoping we had a little more class than that but it turns out that we don't.

Not just men

The great thing about these statistics is that they show not just the searches but the searches broken down by gender. So not only do women come in around the 30% of all people using the site they are more intrested in searching for the term "lesbian" than men.

Sports events have a huge impact

They have also gone to the trouble is breaking down the major sporting events of the year and show they affect an event like the super bowl has on viewing figures.

Valentines day gifts

Personally we don't feel like you need a specific day to appreciate the love of your life, but if it helps you focus on the other person in your life then enjoy it.

Find out more about us

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This week we are talking about our post Red Flags written for us byMolly Moore.

Rant - Trump

Trump is President, and if you wanted to ever start a podcast now is probably a good time to do it because you will never be out of material while Trump is in charge.

What was really interesting was the lack of people who actually attended the inauguration. Then the new administration claimed it was the most popular ever in spite of the facts.. claiming them as "Alternative facts".

Sam Bee's report on Steven Mnuchin, the new Treasury Secretary. It is really just horrifying who is being put in.

Listener Suggestion

Thanks for Jess for this suggestion of the BBC Three series "Sex on the Edge" about peoples kinks. From breath play to chastity it covers a real wide range of topics, but does it in a thoughtful and honest way.

It is a really good watch, well worth your time checking out.

Rant - Russia deciminalises violence in the home

It is amazing that in this day and age anyone would think it is OK for a husband to beat his wife. But that seems to be case in Russia, it is perfectly fine.

Article from the Independent.

Red Flags

Molly did a great job laying out some simple red flags everyone should pay attention to when they crop up in your relationship.

None of these are a simple "if it pops up them it is always wrong" but the key thing to understand is if you feel something is wrong then trust your gut.

Key flags to pay attention to:

• Keep me a secret
• Naught to I love you
• Your friends are bad for you
• Your look nice… but
• I work evenings and weekends
• My place is a mess
• Oh look something shiny
• Trust your gut

If you are uneasy don't brush that aside. You deserve to be happy in you relationships.

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