Today's guest is someone whose work has deeply influenced the way I think about kink, BDSM, and human connection. Few years ago, I came across one of Paul's articles, and it stayed with me ever since. So having this conversation felt very special.

We talk about growing up with trauma, how our childhood quietly shapes the way we love, and why BDSM can become either a place to hide, or a place to heal. We dive into dominance versus control, leading versus forcing, power dynamics, emotional safety, energy, intimacy, and the difference between simply doing BDSM and truly understanding what happens underneath it.

We also talk about Paul's own journey, from discovering kink after his divorce to creating one of Europe's most beautiful BDSM spaces, leading retreats for couples, and helping people build deeper, more conscious relationships.

This isn't really a conversation about BDSM. It's a conversation about trust, vulnerability, healing, and what it actually means to lead, with presence instead of control.

UPD: book of Gabor Mate which Paul is talking about is The Myth of Normal

You can find Paul in IG - https://www.instagram.com/spnkd.antwerp

https://www.instagram.com/spnkd.berlin

https://www.instagram.com/the.pleasure.field

And through the website of SPNKD - https://spnkd.com

If you have an interesting story to tell on kink, BDSM, contact me at [email protected] or sign up for our IG - https://www.instagram.com/kinkmeslow

In this episode, I talk to Queenderella - sex, intimacy and relationship educator, event and retreat organizer, and someone who has dedicated her life to creating spaces where people can explore themselves with curiosity instead of shame.

This conversation is ridiculously funny, honest, and full of unexpected stories. We talk about growing up in Indonesia, how childhood shaped the way she sees love and relationships, why she doesn't believe monogamy is the only answer, what it really means to build an open relationship, and how even someone who rarely gets jealous can still be caught completely off guard.

We also dive into first sexual experiences, discovering submission, the myths we grow up believing about sex, porn, BDSM, fantasies, and the path that eventually led Queenderella to become one of Indonesia's most recognizable voices in sex education.

There are plenty of laughs, a few very spicy stories, and, as always, a lot of honest conversations about the things people usually keep to themselves.

If you have an interesting story to tell on kink, BDSM, contact me at [email protected] or sign up for our IG https://www.instagram.com/kinkmeslow

This conversation is with a couple whose relationship completely changed the way they think about communication, intimacy, and even love.

We talk about what happened when kink stopped being just something exciting to explore and became a way of understanding each other better. How learning to ask for what they wanted, hearing "no" without taking it personally, and talking openly about desires, fears, jealousy, and boundaries slowly transformed not only their play, but their relationship outside of it too.

We also dive into shame, first kink parties, discovering desires later in life, building trust, and why they believe BDSM isn't about pain or power at all—it's about honesty. More than anything, this is a conversation about creating something together instead of trying to fit into someone else's idea of what a relationship should look like.

If you have an interesting story to tell on kink, BDSM, contact me at [email protected] or sign up for our IG https://www.instagram.com/kinkmeslow

In this episode, Masha and I talk about growing up in Russia, being a "good girl," first crushes, first sex, fantasies, masturbation, validation, pleasure, love, and all the weird thoughts nobody warns you about when you're trying to figure yourself out.

This conversation goes from porn cartoons hidden in parents' wardrobes to choking, power dynamics, orgasms, heartbreak, relationships, and the question many of us carry for years: am I enough?

Funny, honest, vulnerable, and occasionally ridiculous, just like real life.

You can find Masha in IG - https://www.instagram.com/mashenity

If you have an interesting story to tell on kink, BDSM, contact me at [email protected] or sign up for our IG - https://www.instagram.com/kinkmeslow

In this episode, I sit down with Kris to talk about her journey from a conventional life as an architect to becoming a professional dominatrix, shibari practitioner, educator, and one of the most authentic people I know.

We talk about discovering kink later in life, the mistakes she made in the beginning, why education and consent matter so much, and how shame, guilt, and fear of judgment can keep us disconnected from ourselves. Kris shares how she navigated her own doubts, learned to communicate more honestly, and gradually accepted desires she once thought were wrong.

This conversation isn’t just about BDSM. It’s about curiosity, courage, self-discovery, and what can happen when you stop living according to other people’s expectations and start building a life that actually feels like your own.

If you would like to get to know Kris better - visit her website krisatskvereli.com or sign up to her juicy IG account @ropes.and.curves

If you have an interesting story to tell on kink, BDSM, contact me at [email protected] or sign up for our IG @kinkmeslow

Why do we judge things before we understand them?

In this opening episode, I talk about the curiosity that led me to create this podcast and why conversations about sex, kink, BDSM, desire, shame, and relationships are often much harder than they should be.

If you’ve ever questioned your desires, felt uncomfortable talking about them, or simply wondered why certain topics still provoke so much fear and judgment, this episode is a good place to begin.

Welcome to Kink Me Slow!