Kintsugi Heroes

The pavers we lay down

Nick grew up with every external advantage, loving parents, good school, material security, but turned parental encouragement into internal pressure and guilt. He struggled with bullying and didn't have space to name his struggle without feeling ungrateful. Years later, reflecting on his own childhood and a chance mentoring moment with a student, he realized what he'd needed: not fixing or diagnosis, but a trusted person to move through life alongside him. He founded Pave to offer exactly that to teenagers navigating identity, belonging, and the gap between who they are and who they think they should be. Now he's building a model that combines physical activity, intentional habit-building, and genuine vulnerability to help young people discover their own capability.

Nick Crott is a 27-year-old mentor and founder of Pave Mentoring, a social enterprise that works with young people through side-by-side activities and intentional guidance. Raised on Sydney's Northern Beaches, he moved from primary school teaching and associate therapy work into mentoring after recognizing the gap between formal support and the informal spaces where real growth happens.

In this Kintsugi Heroes conversation with John Milham, Nick shares the story behind the moments below.

🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:

• Privilege can silence struggle.

• Mentoring is not fixing.

• Identity and behavior are separate.

• Vulnerability compounds when modeled.

• Physical experience teaches mental truth.

• Connection is not a luxury.

• Third spaces need intentional design.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Growing up privileged, silent

07:03 The gap between support and safety

12:15 A teacher who separated behavior from identity

15:38 From struggle to purpose

20:55 What mentoring actually looks like

25:22 Vulnerability as courage

39:27 Who can be a mentee

46:55 The gym as proof of capability

52:23 Barriers: comparison and screens

56:21 Third spaces and community change

1:03:18 Friendship as foundation

1:06:26 How to find Pave

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

💬 Tell us what this conversation meant to you. Take our listener survey: https://form.jotform.com/262719186957070

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Pave Mentoring website: pavementoring.com

Pave Mentoring Instagram: instagram.com/pavementoring

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ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

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Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #buildingfromwithin #pavement #mentoring #mentalhealth #youthwellbeing #vulnerability #masculinity #community

———

Show notes by Kintsugi Studio · Approved by Tony Bailey · Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

From the woodshed to the pool

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses abuse & exploitation, grief & loss and trauma & healing, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available:
• Blue Knot Foundation (complex trauma): 1300 657 380 · blueknot.org.au
• 1800RESPECT (family, domestic & sexual violence): 1800 737 732 · 1800respect.org.au
• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au
• GriefLine: 1300 845 745 · griefline.org.au

Sam Reid found his father hanging in a woodshed when he was six. His mother died two years later. Without the intervention of his older sister and brother-in-law, he would have ended up in the state system. At 15 he took a labouring job to feed his siblings. By the year 2000 he was standing poolside at the Sydney Olympics as a safety manager when Ian Thorpe won his first gold medal. What he didn't tell himself at 15 was possible became real through choice, mentorship and refusal to repeat the violence and alcoholism he witnessed. He has since lost his brother, nephew and son to suicide, experienced bankruptcy, and held the bodies of young men crushed on construction sites. He channels that weight into teaching other men that it is safe to speak, to ask for help, and to choose a different path than the one their circumstances predict.

Sam Reid is head of safety, quality and compliance at Paynter Dixon, one of Australia's largest construction firms. Raised in rural New Zealand by his sister after losing both parents by age eight, he came to Australia at 22 with his wife, a six-month-old son and $500. Over four decades he has rebuilt his life through work, family and a willingness to speak openly about grief, suicide, mental illness and loss.

In this Kintsugi Heroes conversation with John Milham, Sam shares the story behind the moments below.

🕒 CHAPTERS:
00:00 Finding his father in the woodshed
04:35 A family of ten without parents
11:35 His father's violence, his mother's death
15:11 Coming to Australia with $500
24:01 Leaving the gangs behind, building a career
38:32 Teaching his children and grandchildren
46:01 His son's mental illness and the system's silence
52:16 Rising to safety leadership in construction
55:19 Bankruptcy and the choice to stay
1:07:00 The death of his son
1:12:52 His legacy: mentorship and speaking from the heart
1:15:12 Closing

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

💬 Tell us what this conversation meant to you. Take our listener survey: https://form.jotform.com/262719186957070

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14

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ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham
• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale
• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova
• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd
• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience
• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
CONNECT WITH US
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au
▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes
📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes
📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes
💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #rebuilding #mentalhealth #suicide #grief #constructionsafety #mentorship #Māori #familyviolence

———
Show notes by Kintsugi Studio · Approved by Tony Bailey · Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

My mom chased me from hell back to earth

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses abuse & exploitation, grief & loss and trauma & healing, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available:

• Blue Knot Foundation (complex trauma): 1300 657 380 · blueknot.org.au

• 1800RESPECT (family, domestic & sexual violence): 1800 737 732 · 1800respect.org.au

• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au

• GriefLine: 1300 845 745 · griefline.org.au

Samuel fled Sudan during the civil war, experiencing militia threats at school before his family was resettled in Tasmania. The quiet safety disoriented him at first, but he adapted fast. He moved to Melbourne as a young adult, where he initially drifted into substance use and confusion. Around age 26, exhausted and broken, he picked up The Law of Attraction while walking home from a bender. That moment catalysed a complete shift: he went cold turkey, set goals, started a cleaning business, and rebuilt his sense of purpose. His mother's relentless support throughout everything taught him that wherever he fell, someone would reach for him. Now he works supporting people with disability, mentors young men, and is driven by gratitude to his parents and a vision of giving back to both his community in Australia and his family in Sudan.

Samuel Reve came to Australia as a refugee from Sudan at age 10, escaping civil war. After arriving in Tasmania, he rebuilt his life across Australia, but spent his twenties struggling with drugs and drinking before discovering discipline and purpose. Today he works as an NDIS support coordinator and is building community programs to help young people from African backgrounds.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 From Sudan to Tasmania, a family's choice

05:18 Landing in a different world

09:15 School under siege, learning to hide

15:37 Being the token African in Tasmania

17:45 Moving to Melbourne, discovering hustle

26:36 Energy in, energy out, a simple formula

35:25 Bridging two worlds, African family in Australia

42:00 Serving others through NDIS work

46:56 The mother who chased him back from hell

51:29 Young men in crisis, where the mentors went

57:29 Comparison, cleanliness, and the room that matters

59:00 A farm, a team, gratitude, and giving back

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

💬 Tell us what this conversation meant to you. Take our listener survey: https://form.jotform.com/262719186957070

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Lifeline: https://www.lifeline.org.au/

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ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #GoldenJoinery #RealCracks #FromThereToHere #MentalHealth #RefugeeStories #Discipline #FamilyStrength #CivilWar #MigrationStories #Mentorship #PersonalGrowth

———

Show notes by Kintsugi Studio · Approved by Tony Bailey · Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

How Queer Looks

Ruth and Ash met in Year 7 and found each other through shared online interests during the early years of social media and queer community discovery. Ruth came out as attracted to women in their mid-teens in a supportive family environment; Ash came out as queer at age 9 and later came out as non-binary at 13, becoming their school's first openly non-binary student. When they moved into community youth work, both noticed a gap: younger queer people had no local role models or connection to older generations who could show them that happy, long queer lives were possible. They pitched the idea of a documentary featuring older queer adults to Youth Affairs Council Victoria's HEY grants program, won $10,000, and produced How Queer Looks with professional filmmaking support. The documentary premiered at their school and has since been approached by cinemas, though technical barriers around file formats have limited its wider distribution. Ruth and Ash continue to push for grassroots community building in regional Victoria.

Ruth Carter is a 19-year-old from Ballarat, Victoria, who uses she/they pronouns. Along with their friend Ash Crawford, Ruth created How Queer Looks, a documentary featuring older LGBTQIA+ adults sharing their lived experiences. Ruth and Ash secured a $10,000 grant through Youth Affairs Council Victoria to produce the film, which aims to show younger queer people that long, fulfilling lives are possible within the community.

Links to How Queer Looks Short Film:https://youtu.be/yHyuqxm9ws0si=FYBUJXsHhe76Fbo0 and https://yballarat.org.au/how-queer-looks/

In this Pride In Stories conversation with John Dwyer, Ruth shares the story behind the moments below.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Welcome and introductions

01:26 Ash and Ruth introduce themselves and their work

03:08 How they met and their unlikely friendship

06:46 Ash's queer awakening and early realisation

09:13 Ash's experience as the first non-binary student

12:39 The motivation behind How Queer Looks documentary

14:15 Finding and connecting with participants

17:49 The impact of older queer voices on younger community

20:20 Winning the grant and bringing the documentary to life

32:39 Future vision for the LGBTQIA+ community

35:44 What allies can do better

41:41 Final messages and closing thoughts

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

💬 Tell us what this conversation meant to you. Take our listener survey: https://form.jotform.com/262718400868059

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Youth Affairs Council Victoria (YACVic): https://yacvic.org.au/

Minus18: https://www.minus18.org.au/

The Y (YMCA): https://www.ymca.org.au/

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ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #PrideInStories #LGBTQIA #QueerCommunity #YouthLeadership #NonBinary #RegionalQueerness #CommunityBuilding #Allyship

———

Show notes by Kintsugi Studio · Approved by Tony Bailey · Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

The kettlebell in the garage

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses trauma & healing, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available:
• Blue Knot Foundation (complex trauma): 1300 657 380 · blueknot.org.au
• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au

Matthew grew up in domestic violence, found stability in his stepfather, and joined the army at 25 to honour his stepfather's dying wish and his own calling to serve. In Afghanistan, he excelled as a machine gunner and paratrooper but witnessed the killing of three mates in a green-on-blue incident that fractured him with unearned guilt. Back home, he broke his neck surfing, lost his footing to medication and despair, then threw it all in the bin and picked up a kettlebell in his garage. That decision led him to youth mentoring, which gave him back his purpose. For the past decade, he has built a model that pairs veterans with struggling kids, arguing that only those who have survived real adversity can credibly teach others to do the same. His mission now is policy change and leaving his daughter a better world.

Matthew French is a former infantry soldier and paratrooper who served with 3 RAR in Afghanistan in 2012, where he experienced combat and lost three mates in a single incident. After medical discharge, a broken neck, and a spiral of medication, he found purpose mentoring at-risk young Australians and now runs youth development programs nationally, employing veterans and working to reshape how Australian society supports both returning soldiers and struggling children.

In this Kintsugi Heroes conversation with John Milham, Matthew shares the story behind the moments below.

🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:
• A childhood fractured by domestic violence taught Matthew early what not to do, turning a negative role model into a blueprint for the opposite.

🕒 CHAPTERS:
00:00 Purpose before the fracture
03:16 The stepfather's final words
05:50 Growing up with domestic violence
11:28 Signing up for service
15:06 The calling to fight
22:06 Landing in Afghanistan
30:44 First contact
36:02 The casualty incident
42:00 Throwing it all away
48:39 The mentoring call
57:28 Building a movement
1:04:49 Legacy and leaving things better

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

💬 Tell us what this conversation meant to you. Take our listener survey: https://form.jotform.com/262719186957070

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Lifeline Australia: https://www.lifeline.org.au

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham
• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale
• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova
• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd
• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience
• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
CONNECT WITH US
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au
▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes
📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes
📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes
💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #hiddenvalue #veteranstories #mentoring #youth #PTSD #service #militaryveterans #mentalhealth

———
Show notes by Kintsugi Studio · Approved by Tony Bailey · Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

It doesn't help to have a bad attitude

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses abuse, grief, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available:
• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au

Bill Stahl's fracture came gradually, through dozens of injuries sustained across a lifetime of pushing his body in sport. Each setback, torn Achilles, ruptured quad tendon, twelve surgeries since 2011-could have stopped him. Instead, he treated recovery as his job, returning to running weeks or months faster than doctors expected. The turning point came when his friend Paul Bradley, dying of cancer, told him: "It doesn't help to have a bad attitude. You might as well have a good one." That conversation crystallised what Bill had been living: attitude is a choice. Today, he channels that philosophy into coaching young athletes, showing them through his own example that circumstances need not define you, and that doing hard things by choice builds resilience that carries into every part of life.

Bill Stahl is a high school coach, ultra-marathon runner, and race director based in Colorado. For nearly four decades, he has shaped young athletes through track, cross-country, and basketball, founding and directing the American Heroes Run to honour military veterans and 9/11 responders. His philosophy centres on turning adversity into growth, a practice he lives out through multiple surgeries and endurance challenges.

🕒 CHAPTERS:
00:00 Opening: A question that changed everything
07:19 How Bill stumbled into coaching in 1989
12:52 Teaching inner-city kids what positivity looks like
20:56 Where does this come from: the New York pessimist
26:00 Paul Bradley's final lesson: attitude is a choice
29:48 The Be Positive bracelets: a simple tool, a bigger message
34:26 Staying calm: coaching without rage, living without it
40:13 The ripple you never knew you made
50:42 Do hard things: the philosophy that carries
56:30 The American Heroes Run: a race for everyone
1:03:00 Can we just talk? Seeking understanding in a divided world
1:09:42 Where to find Bill: socials, podcast, and the next challenge

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

💬 Tell us what this conversation meant to you. Take our listener survey: https://form.jotform.com/262719186957070

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Bill Stahl's Instagram: @stahlor
We Are Superman Podcast: Available on all podcast platforms
American Heroes Run: ultrasignup.com (search American Heroes Run)

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ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham
• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale
• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova
• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd
• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience
• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
CONNECT WITH US
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au
▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes
📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes
📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes
💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #goldeninjoinery #ripplesofcompassion #attitude #choice #resilience #coaching #hardthings #ultrarunner #recovery #mentorship

———
Show notes by Kintsugi Studio · Approved by Tony Bailey · Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

The film over the eyes fell away

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses mental health & wellbeing, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available:

• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au

David's career began in journalism at the Bankstown Observer, where he worked alongside young Paul Keating. His ADHD, undiagnosed until age 70, drove him through multiple careers and into a Pentecostal healing ministry that became a cult led by a woman claiming to be God. For 23 years, he was isolated from family, including hanging up on his mother's calls. After the cult leader died, David led a five-year dismantling process, reversing isolation, reconnecting members with families, and eventually dissolving the group. He has since worked for International Needs, the Red Cross, Guide Dogs Victoria, and now runs a disability support business. His vision centres on kindness as a practice and framework for society, taught through children.

David Ayliffe is a journalist, charity CEO, disability support worker and children's book author who spent 23 years in a religious cult before dismantling it from within. Now 72 and recently diagnosed with ADHD, he works with people with intellectual disabilities and advocates for kindness as a foundation for society.

In this Kintsugi Heroes conversation with John Milham, David shares the story behind the moments below.

🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:

• Late ADHD diagnosis can reframe decades of 'failures' and offer self-compassion instead of shame.

• Fundamentalism thrives by declaring certainty; it requires turning off critical thinking by designating something sacred.

• Cult recovery works when the leader loses credibility; collective realization can dismantle even deep isolation in a single moment.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Young David at the Bankstown Observer

06:17 ADHD diagnosis at 70

16:19 The path into the cult: from journalist to believer

22:09 How fundamentalism silences critical thinking

27:20 Cut off from everyone but her

32:35 The moment she lost all credibility

35:28 The Emperor's New Clothes moment

37:48 The dismantling: five years of reversal and reconnection

42:04 Disability work and the kindness vision

51:00 Kindness as something you practise

56:51 Admitting what you got wrong

1:03:17 Humour as the thing that saved me

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Lifeline Australia: lifeline.org.au

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ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #goldintheCracks #cultrecovery #ADHD #latelatediagnosis #kindness #disabilitywork #mentalhealth #fundamentalism #family

———

Show notes by Kintsugi Studio · Approved by Tony Bailey · Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

What that little child's brain did to survive

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses trauma & healing and mental health & wellbeing, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available:
• Blue Knot Foundation (complex trauma): 1300 657 380 · blueknot.org.au
• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au

Ezra grew up in a country town, the only Black child in a white family, enduring prolonged childhood sexual abuse by a primary perpetrator and others. The trauma fragmented their sense of self into distinct alters as a survival mechanism, which went unrecognized until their early twenties. For years, they struggled with suicidality, shame around disability, and profound isolation. When they disclosed the abuse to their family at 24, they were not supported and went no contact with their mother's side. Moving to Sydney, accessing NDIS support, and beginning intensive therapy marked a turning point. Ten years on from their darkest period, Ezra now works in advocacy roles, speaks to psychiatrists about lived experience, and has rebuilt a life grounded in self-compassion rather than productivity. They describe their journey not as recovery but as ongoing integration and functional multiplicity, where different parts of themselves can collaborate safely.

Ezra Burke is a 30-year-old advocate, artist, and person with psychosocial disability living in Sydney. They have dissociative identity disorder (DID) and complex PTSD stemming from prolonged childhood sexual abuse. Through years of therapy, advocacy work, and the support of their assistance dog Peanut, Ezra has moved from crisis to a place of functional multiplicity, where their different parts collaborate rather than fracture.

🕒 CHAPTERS:
00:00 Ezra Burke on surviving fragmentation and rebuilding
03:07 What is psychosocial disability
07:47 Forgetting years of childhood
11:03 Complex PTSD and childhood trauma
14:11 Disclosure without support
19:28 Why disorganized attachment shapes DID
26:22 Parts learning to work together
31:19 The only Black child in a white town
42:38 How trauma reshapes gender and sexuality
1:00:40 What life looks like at 30
1:07:27 Recovery as ongoing work, not destination
1:14:03 From survival to advocacy

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Lifeline Australia: https://www.lifeline.org.au
NDIS (National Disability Insurance Scheme): https://www.ndis.gov.au
Disability Support Pension: https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au

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ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham
• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale
• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova
• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd
• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience
• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
CONNECT WITH US
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au
▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes
📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes
📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes
💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #TheGoldInTheCracks #OurHiddenValue #MentalHealth #TraumaRecovery #DisabledAndHere #DID #ComplexPTSD #AdvocacyMatters

———
Show notes by Kintsugi Studio · Approved by Tony Bailey · Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

What recovery has given me

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses trauma & healing, addiction & recovery and abuse & exploitation, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available:

• Blue Knot Foundation (complex trauma): 1300 657 380 · blueknot.org.au

• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au

• SMART Recovery Australia (addiction): smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au

• ReachOut: au.reachout.com

• 1800RESPECT (family, domestic & sexual violence): 1800 737 732 · 1800respect.org.au

Born into a legacy of civic leadership in Cowra, Dave Oliver was a high-achieving student, school captain and rugby player who excelled outwardly while carrying the weight of childhood sexual abuse from ages 9 to 12. He masked his trauma through alcohol and drugs that escalated into his twenties and thirties, cycling through 32 employers in 25 years while his behaviour spiralled. A turning point came 10 years ago when mates intervened and he entered a psychiatric facility where therapy helped him name what had happened and begin healing. Today sober and purposeful, he works in mental health and mentors individual men, driven by a mission to become the support he needed as a young man.

Dave Oliver is a 45-year-old survivor of childhood sexual abuse who spent decades using alcohol and drugs to survive unresolved trauma before entering recovery 10 years ago. Now a peer support worker and programs coordinator in mental health, he mentors other male survivors and has launched You, Me, Us, an initiative connecting men through shared lived experience.

In this Kintsugi Heroes conversation with John Milham, Dave shares the story behind the moments below.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Introduction and Cowra legacy

06:31 The fracture: childhood sexual abuse

12:00 Boarding school and coping mechanisms

15:25 School success masking inner collapse

18:04 The pattern: 32 jobs in 25 years

23:17 Trauma, shame and sexuality in rural Australia

38:11 From survival to recovery

45:09 Reparenting the wounded child

50:24 Purpose through lived experience mentoring

57:15 The hybrid model: lived experience plus resources

01:04:00 Practical steps and You, Me, Us initiative

01:09:31 Closing and resources

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Survivors and Mates Support Network (SAMHSA): https://www.samhsa.org.au/

Lifeline: 13 11 14

You, Me, Us: Instagram: You, Me, Us Australia

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ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #JohnMilham #mentalhealth #childtrauma #recovery #peerSupport #masculinity #survivors #mentalhealthawareness

———

Show notes by Kintsugi Studio · Approved by Tony Bailey · Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

The first man who came and talked

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses grief & loss and mental health & wellbeing, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available:
• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au
• GriefLine: 1300 845 745 · griefline.org.au

Steven's son Rory was born via emergency caesarean with an Apgar of 1, requiring resuscitation. Eight months later, Steven had a panic attack on a commuter train while reading about birth trauma, unaware he was experiencing postnatal depression himself. The breakdown triggered a deeper reckoning: he'd given his father CPR at 17 when his father suffered cardiac arrest; now, witnessing oxygen deprivation again, the trauma resurfaced. Steven sought help from a birth trauma specialist who told him something that changed his direction: she'd never spoken to a man about birth before. That admission became his mission. He spent six months researching 96 academic papers on men's role in birth, then founded Prepared Dads to teach expectant and new fathers what nobody had taught him: how to stay calm in the room, recognise their partner's needs, manage their own distress, and step into early fatherhood with intention. His son is now eight and thriving. Steven continues therapy and now runs support groups for bereaved dads, recognising that men have nowhere to process stillbirth, miscarriage, or perinatal loss.

Steven Kennedy is the founder and CEO of Prepared Dads, an organisation equipping men with knowledge and skills for the perinatal period.

🕒 CHAPTERS:
00:00 Welcome and content warning
03:33 The traumatic birth: Apgar of 1
05:39 The unhealed wound: his father's death
07:43 Breakdown on the commuter train
09:01 Discovering postnatal depression in men
14:33 Fear, pain and tension: why birth goes wrong
20:34 Researching men's role: six months of papers
28:10 Men as the weakest link in the birth room
39:40 Nurturing masculinity and hormonal change
55:46 Early fatherhood: paddling, not waves
1:07:29 Prepared Dads: what the course offers
1:30:05 Closing and call to action

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:
PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia): https://www.panda.org.au
Prepared Dads: https://www.prepareddad.org.au
Bereaved Dads Brotherhood: https://www.prepareddad.org.au
Lifeline Australia: https://www.lifeline.org.au

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham
• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale
• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova
• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd
• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience
• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

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#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #goldenjoinery #thecrackiswherethelight #rebuilding #perinatalhealth #fatherhood #mentalhealth #birthtrauma #postnataldepressioninmen #parenting

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Show notes by Kintsugi Studio · Approved by Tony Bailey · Australian English

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