Knee Deep

Knee Deep

By Jeff BenderComedy
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Knee Deep episodes

  • Fifteen Minutes of Pancake Fame

    Hummmmm♪♪♪

    “And so this is Christmas, and what have you made? Another huge pancake, fills up the whole plate.”

    …not exactly John Lennon, but I think he’d agree on this

    one. Pancakes warm the world over like a huge blanket on Christmas morning. I get my fifteen minutes of fame in the kitchen every Christmas day and serve up my own version of griddlecakes for the betterment of all mankind... and grumbling stomachs.

    15 min
  • Yuletide Aisle Dis-Ease

    The holiday season is creeping up on us like the second hand

    in a scary movie. No one hears the ticking until the camera zooms in on the Gothic clock and the last few seconds tick off in slow motion. Will we make it out of the holiday twilight zone before the clock strikes twelve? That all depends on what aisle in the grocery store you make your move.

    9 min
  • And the Toys Were Hung By the Fireplace With Care

    Toys change when they fall in the hands of a kid also because kids think like smaller versions of the toy inventor. My brother and I were no exceptions. We quickly bored of our new toys on Christmas morning, which offered irresistible, if not disturbing possibilities. However, someone unexpected became the queen toy inventor for the day.


    14 min
  • What You Bring to the Table This Thanksgiving

    Whatever dish you are adding to the mix at the table may fall flat if bad manners are oozing off the edges. Time to ramp up the etiquette and leave our Viking nature at the door. Gratefulness has lots of looks and one of them is table manners!

    12 min
  • What You Bring to the Table This Thanksgiving

    Does your Thanksgiving guests rip off chunks of turkey like they part of a Viking battle celebration? Are you avoiding the seat by your Aunt Bethelda because you can hear her chewing with her mouth open? There's never a bad time to do an inventory on good manners, but especially when your gratefulness is depending on it on the Thanksgiving holiday meal!

    12 min
  • Either Way You Slice It: Part Two

    A truck that is about to fall apart, the blankness of a

    highway, a horizon that never stop. The definition of dullness takes on a new meaning, and it wasn’t “pumpkin.” With loneliness comes introspection, and when my highway fog had pierced the core of my rudeness, whatever I thought was so gol-danged important about Mr. Pumpkin, in the end, did not hold a candle to the welcoming place I found on the road.

    13 min
  • Either Way You Slice It

    One of the great mysteries in the archives of Knee Deep

    history is the true identity of Mr. Pumpkin. As a leader of Pumpkin Nation, he appears to have set up housekeeping in a small diner in Montana on the Continental Divide, where a unifying magic is baked into every slice of completely neutral pumpkin pie.

    14 min
  • Happy 102nd and Climbing, Dad!

    The week brought all of us a new president, but the American flew even higher as my father turned 102 years old. His legacy lies sin his lifetime of service and a deep gratitude for the freedoms we enjoy in our country. Happy Birthday, and many more, Dad!

    14 min
  • It WAS Melba Peach, with the Crock Pot, on the Porch

    What do the words Anonymous, New England Breeze and Market Kiwi have in common? Almost nothing as it turns out – unless you are trying to pick a paint color from the encyclopedic swatches at your local paint store. How

    are all those colors named, anyway? (And how do you land that job?) When I went searching for the right color to paint our back porch, I uncovered some dodgy names – some with nefarious and criminal connotations – that gave me
    second thoughts about my final choice.

    13 min
  • Walk Softy and Carry a Big Jello Salad

    We were told growing up that subjects like politics and

    religion were off limits in polite conversations, especially around voting time. Jell-O salad, a much more pliable topic at our house, nonetheless came out of the same mold it always had, and no election was going to change that.

    12 min

About Knee Deep

From the publisher's feed

Welcome to Knee Deep, a five-minute story in a cup. It’s light, not too deep, with just enough of the tide washing in to reset your day and help you get back on your feet. Wade in with me. Hear a funny tale, or my observations on life under the surface.