Knockin‘ Doorz Down

Randy Haveson had a childhood that was better than most, coming from a wealthy family who invested in real estate. As a teenager, he had everything he could ever want growing up, he even got a new car for his 16th birthday.  He had disposable money, so he started buying expensive drugs like cocaine & quaaludes at the age of 17. He says that it would make him feel normal, that it would actually help him with his severe ADD. Eventually, he would become a full-blown addict, spending thousands of dollars every month on his habit.

He got fired from his pizza delivery job.  He got kicked out of college. He was drinking heavily, doing cocaine, mushrooms, quaaludes, and marijuana in excess. He ended up even more depressed, and started to contemplate suicide. When he was 24, he held a knife in his hand and was contemplating how to cut himself to get it over with.  He looked at himself in the mirror and realized that he needed help. He called a suicide hotline, the person he talked to inspired him, and was able to start his road to recovery. He went back to college and got his master's in counseling. He starting working in treatment centers and started building his private practice.

Randy is all about dissolving the ego & raising your self-esteem. In his TED talks, he makes the point to differentiate between “Ego” and “Self-Esteem”, noting that ego is everything outside of us, and self-esteem is everything inside of us.  Cocky vs. Confident. We need to nurture our self-esteem more and forget about the ego. He says “Ego’s turn hurdles into walls”, basically meaning that your ego will make whatever problem you have 10 times worse than it has to be. Another point he says is a major life-changing thing, is to eliminate “Can’t”, “Try” and “Should” from your vocabulary. These words are self-defeating, and procrastinate what you should be doing today.  He now looks at every day as a gift, to be grateful for what you have and what you are able to do to give back. Treat yourself like your best friend, and let yourself be human, no one is perfect.

Now Randy has his own daughter, who is now 16 years old. He suggests when talking to your kids about drugs, talk about the behavior and consequences of your past.  He makes the point about saying you are disappointed, instead of angry at them. He didn’t immediately punish her when he caught her, instead, he threatened to take something like driving privileges away if he caught her again.  He is now a public speaker & author of the self-help books “Party with A Plan” and “The Ego Cleanse: Becoming Your Own Best Friend”. Make sure to check out www.randyspeaks.com for all his resources. 

This is Randy Haveson in his own words, on Knockin' Doorz Down.

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Jason Van Dusen is a valuable member of our KDD Media team & wanted to share his story in hopes of reaching & relating to anyone that's gone through a similar ordeal. JVD had a pretty normal childhood for the most part. He was brought up in a loving home & had a good upbringing. He was very involved in sports, even at a young age. The one thing he says was the main catalyst for his trauma early on, was the fact his parents divorced around the age of 11 or 12. The friction there between his mom and dad would fuel his depression as well as his acting out at a young age to deal with the circumstances that he was forced into.

Their separation, the anger, the disagreements would be too much for him to handle at times. He would witness scenes like his father punching holes in the wall and constant arguing between them. With meth, he couldn't just stop doing it. He felt like he couldn't function at work or in any way, without his fix. It became a lifestyle that consumed him in every way. He would drive for hours in the middle of the night every week just to find his drug of choice. It was really difficult for him to break this cycle because he was so productive at work and school at that time, he would even get incentives at his work for re-organizing the warehouse while on drugs. So this justified the addiction. Eventually, this all started to catch up with him. He lost 40 pounds in 16 days during a drug bender. He can't remember much of that time, but the paranoia and withdrawals were too much to handle. When his supply left, he just couldn't get his product anymore.  He crashed for 8 days, was non-responsive to friends and family, and eventually, his family reached out to him. He met his wife by chance in 2003, while in a hospital emergency room. She was there to support one of her friends, and it was love at first sight. He says she replaced his desire for the drugs and high he was chasing all those years. His wife brought stability and helped him get his life back on track. He found a 12-step program, found God, and committed himself to building his family.  Now he's a successful graphic designer, Marketing Director for 51FIFTY Enterprises & an addiction and recovery advocate working for KDD Media & Knockin' Doorz Down. He is also an active mentor in Celebrate Recovery, a national faith-based 12-step recovery program. He hopes that by sharing his story, he can inspire people to let them know it's never too late to get their life back on track. This is Jason Van Dusen in his own words, on Knockin' Doorz Down.

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One of our more eye-opening conversations to date. Flindt Andersen the Founder & Director of P.A.I.N. (Parents and Addicts In Need) sheds light on the Fentanyl crisis.

Why are these drugs tending right now and why are so many people dying? Fentanyl is 100 times stronger than morphine. Fentanyl is being abused at absurdly high levels. Why are dealers lacing cocaine with fentanyl? This disturbing new trend is killing people across the country.

We talk about the Russian import of manufactured fentanyl, exploding on the East Coast 2 years ago. Now it’s made its way to the West Coast, and thus all across the country. It used to be that the dealers wanted their customers to return to them for consistent business, but now it seems that the dealers have no regard for returning customers because there are 10 more kids waiting in line to get their first dose. They have no regard for the outcomes of the drug, and most do not know what they are doing when they start mixing and dosing these types of drugs.

Another thing we talk about is how accessible it is for this generation. The general public's fear of heroin and its stigmas has gone away, and music videos and celebrities glamorize the use of opiates, in all forms. Kids are buying it on Snapchat.

Recovery success rates for addicts are between 7% – 10%. We need to get parents and teachers more involved in the education process, and check in with these kids on a daily basis. These are the challenges and questions that we need to talk about in our medical and treatment facilities.

Join us for this informative and entertaining conversation on trending drugs in our society. Passionate, educated and informed. This is Flindt Andersen in his own words, on Knockin’ Doorz Down.

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When Cheryl was growing up, Cheryl was sexually molested by a trusted family friend.  This event shaped how she chose her boyfriends growing up.  She would pick the bad boys, or more specifically, men that would treat her badly.  This trauma unknowingly started her down the road of alcoholism. 

During her time on Dancing With the Stars, she gained confidence as a dancer early on.  She was the first female professional to win the show and the first professional to win twice and consecutively. She has participated in 23 seasons thus far.  This confidence led to heavy drinking while filming, and feeling like when she was drinking her dancing was much better.  This eventually spiraled out of control and the drinking actually hindered her performance instead of enhancing it.

In regards to her past sexual abuse, she learned that you are not forgiving the person for the action, you are forgiving for yourself to create peace so you can sleep at night.  To move on, it was also about consistently going to meetings, and seeking help in a productive and scheduled way.  She’s not the type to just sit back and hope that help comes her way, she’s actively seeking it out now, and hopes to inspire others to do the same.

Cheryl has now been sober for 3 years.  It’s still very new for her to sit and discuss her past traumas, a nerve-racking experience every time, but feels so much better after each session.  Now she focuses on being grateful for every aspect of her life and focusing on the good things to make her progress in her fight against her addictions.

Cheryl has been looking into what actually causes her hypervigilance at times, she’s exploring having a trauma specialist look into what actually triggers this reaction.  Lately, she’s been exploring different forms of meditation twice a day, and she finds that this has been very helpful in maintaining her sobriety.  Her new “Pretty Messed Up Podcast” with AJ McLean and Rene Elizondo focuses on these topics and how each of them is dealing with their daily struggles.

This is Cheryl Burke in his own words, on Knockin’ Doorz Down.

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Becca came from a family that has a history of alcoholism.  She knew this growing up and was aware of the possibility of herself falling into that addiction pattern.  Up until her early teenage years, everything was pretty normal, but once adolescence was over that’s when the drinking started to kick in for her.

Becca couldn’t just casually drink like the rest of her friends, she had to get drunk.  There was no middle ground, and this led to many blackouts and problems every weekend at a young age.  Her 20’s were very reckless, bad decision making with relationships, and a party lifestyle with 6 other people at her first house away from home.  This quickly escalated and spiraled out of control to new lows in her life.

She rationalized her alcoholism in many ways: She wasn’t drinking in the morning, she didn’t lose her kids and continued to work at her job, so she wasn’t your typical alcoholic, or at least what our modern media portrays as an alcoholic.  There’s a lot of stereotypes and misconceptions of what alcoholism actually is, and how it affects different people. She makes the point that we need to make clear to kids & the youth today, that drinking does not have to be a given in your life, and you do not need to feel like it’s abnormal not to drink.

She started to feel like a failure, because she couldn’t control her drinking.  She was looking for answers, and looking for a way to get out of her rut.  One day, she randomly connected with an old friend who recently got sober, and wanted her to come celebrate her newfound sobriety.  She was hesitant at first, but went to the celebration and got inspired to get her life back on track.  She went to co-ed AA meetings at first, but had to eventually had to go to all-female meetings to make her feel more comfortable in the recovery process.

After her first interview since her recovery at a local radio station in 2020, she wanted to continue the conversation.  Podcasting seemed like a great way for her to get her story out to the masses, in hopes of sharing stories and helping people around the world.  Even though she was hesitant at first to put her story out there, not being sure of how people would receive it.  She got over that fear, and The Unashamed Alcoholic Podcast was born, and has been going strong for almost 2 years. 

This is Becca Atkinson in his own words, on Knockin’ Doorz Down.

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AJ came from a broken but supportive home.  He didn’t know his dad and wasn’t part of his life growing up.  He was raised by his grandparents and mother in a 3-bedroom apartment.  At the age of 15, AJ got his record deal with the Backstreet Boys.  His newfound stardom gave AJ the motivation to move out of his house at the age of 17, after getting in a huge fight with his mom.

AJ didn’t actually start drinking until he was 25.  He started with hard alcohol right off the bat and got worse from there.  Then during an early morning music video shoot, he tried cocaine for the first time.  After that, he was buying large amounts from a friend in Florida.  AJ was up to an 8 ball a day.  Eventually AJ overdosed and was revived with an adrenaline needle, just like the scene with Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction.  You would think that would be enough for AJ to stop, but it wasn’t.

In 2001, the Backstreet Boys were supposed to throw out the first pitch at a Boston Red Sox game.  AJ was partying the night before and woke up hungover, and told his manager that he wasn’t going.  This prompted a fight with his band members where he quit the band on the spot.  The manager gave him the option of going to rehab, and he accepted.

AJ stopped drinking and using drugs for the first time in 2001.  He was able to stay sober for 7 years.  Then in 2008, out of the blue, their friend Shania Twain had a concert coming up in Las Vegas.  Originally, AJ wanted to do a date night with his wife at the show, but she couldn’t make it and said to go by himself.  AJ knew his wife wouldn’t be there with him, so immediately he called his dealer.  He thought he would be able to sober up before coming back home, but he just couldn’t stop. 

Then again in 2019, Backstreet Boys had their massive DNA World Reunion Tour.  When AJ got the call to go to Vegas for the residency, his wife called him and told him “Don’t even bother coming home” because she knew he was partying too much.  The breaking point for him was when he got home, his daughter came to sit by him on the couch.  Normally she cuddles with him, but this time she said “you don’t smell like my dad” and this crushed AJ.  This was the catalyst to get help and begin his sobriety.

The pandemic recently was the silver lining for AJ.  None of the temptations from the road were messing with his mental health, so he could really focus on his family and health.  AJ has now been sober for 20 months.  He’s traveled twice by himself now, and hasn’t relapsed.  Now he’s part of the “Pretty Messed Up Podcast” along with Cheryl Burke & Rene Elizondo where they talk about their problems, addictions and how they’re dealing with them.  Now with his new podcast, AJ hopes to remove the stigma with mental health by speaking openly about his experiences.

This is AJ McLean in his own words, on Knockin’ Doorz Down.

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Austin inherited his addictive genes from his father’s side of the family. His father’s mother had schizophrenia, and many of his other family members have bipolar disorder. At the age of 3, Austin was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. The doctors told his parents that he would have about 18 to 19 years to live. It was tough growing up having that hanging over his head, which would lead to depression and anxiety issues early on in his life.

As a kid, it was tough for Austin to do his schoolwork and remain focused. He learned later that he had ADHD. He would have trouble just sitting still in class, and even doing small tasks or projects were difficult to finish. 

Early on, Austin became obsessed with the world of broadcasting. It was one of the only things that kept his attention and later developed into a career. At age 9, he had a broadcasting studio built in the basement of his parent’s house. He would create his own shows for public access in his hometown. The local news came out to do a story on him and after that, it propelled him even further into broadcasting. At the age of 17, he already had a job with the local FOX television news station in Portland. This is when his drug use and experimentation started to take off.

At this time, Austin’s mother had a heart attack, so he moved back to Oregon to be closer to her. In Medford, there was no cystic fibrosis clinic, he wasn’t getting the care he needed. He was getting really bad headaches and was prescribed Vicodin. This started his new addiction, where he was taking 3 pills every 4 hours, to get the effects he wanted. Then his doctor started prescribing stronger medication like morphine, liquid oxycodone, soma, suboxone other various pain meds.

Then after those meds, he started getting addicted to Adderall, for his ADHD which started acting up and getting worse during his time. This was a really bad combination, so he stopped taking the crazy combinations of meds, and unfortunately switched to alcohol. Alcohol was everywhere and readily available, which made it really tough for him to quit. One of his close friends came from New Mexico, stayed with him for a while, and ended up dying from an alcoholic seizure while they were drinking together one night.

Even after the loss of his friend, he continued to drink until it really got out of control. He was drinking at all times of the day, and he finally realized enough was enough. He checked himself into rehab and has been sober for the past 6 months.

Austin now hosts the Reed Report and Central Valley Talk here in Central California. He continues to get therapy, and support from his wife and twin daughters, and family to continue his sobriety. Now Austin wants to share his story in the hopes that it can change other lives for the better.

This is Austin Reed in his own words, on Knockin’ Doorz Down.

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Listen to and Subscribe to the podcast on all platforms for more amazing interviews at KDDPodcast.com © 2021 by KDD Media Company. All rights reserved. #Bam #BamMargera #Jackass

In this exclusive interview, Bam answers all kinds of questions like how he really feels about Jackass 4, Johnny Knoxville, and director Jeff Tremaine? What is ex-Jackass member Brandon DiCamillo up to these days? How does it feel to have something you started and were a founding member of, being taken away from you?

Bam starts by explaining how his personal life is suffering due to the medication he’s on. Bam says he’s been on Adderall for 13 years. He’s now experiencing multiple side effects that are affecting his sex life, personal life, and ability to skate. Bam was diagnosed with Manic Depression & Bi-Polar Disorder. He reveals here that he’s seen over 12 doctors, who have all given him different medications and different advice, and nothing seemed to work for him. He also has ADD, and he needs a different medication. These medications conflict, so it’s tough for him to find what works. Sometimes, due to his heavy medication use, Bam will stay up for days. He starts to hear things and needs to write them down. Bam has learned to write, paint and listen to music when times get tough, and to get his demons out as he says.

For the past 8 months, Bam reveals that he has a sober-link breathalyzer that he has to breathe into 3 times a day, to prove he’s sober, so Paramount Pictures will allow him to work. According to Bam, Paramount made him come out to California, so he wouldn’t be around the people in Philadelphia that were enabling Bam’s lifestyle choices.

He also says that he just grew out of that Philadelphia scene that he’s always been around & wanted a change. But, now that they’ve pulled the plug on him being involved in Jackass 4, Bam is trying to find inner peace. He’s mentally and emotionally struggling with it, feeling abandoned & like his show that he worked so hard to build, was taken away so swiftly.

Bam also explains how he really isn’t concerned with being famous. He doesn’t want people to recognize him anymore. His main goal these days is making sure his kid grows up to be a good respectful man. He just wants the best husband and father for his son Pheonix. He also reveals that he’s working with Steve-O on getting his YouTube channel going in the near future when he’s ready.

This is Bam Margera in his own words, on Knockin’ Doorz Down.

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Early on in Tony’s life, he grew up in England’s 80’s culture. He experienced racism from white supremacists & skinheads in his hometown of Coventry. Then at 9 years old, he aspired to be a football player. He went to a football academy, and at 16 was offered a 2-year contract by Bristol City. He accepted and began his professional football career. He was the youngest player ever to play for Bristol City.

He was going out clubbing & drinking at the age of 16, partying with women & the rest of the team. He thought he made it at this point but was let go next year at the age of 17. This was a crushing blow for him. Then, he moved to London & worked his way back up in the semi-pro league and was able to get back on a professional team by the time he was 21.

This is when his gambling problem started. It was never about drugs or alcohol with Tony Kelly. It was about the thrill of gambling. He gave in to the peer pressure of his fellow teammates & trying to fit in with this new London crowd. He started betting like most people, betting on football games in his area. Before he knew it, it started affecting his daily life & his mental health. He would not show up to work when he would lose, and all of his money went to gambling.

He borrowed money from every one of his family members, he would gamble at all hours of the day. He wasn’t sleeping, and his health was deteriorating. He pawned all of his belongings and committed credit card fraud. He would get loans from the casino, from his teammates, but it just wasn’t enough. In 2010, he was bankrupt. He lost his house and all his money, totaling about 1.5 million US dollars. He knew he had to get help, but didn’t know where to start.

In 2011, he was working at Network Rail, working the rail lines in his booth. He recognized an older gentleman, that was a priest walking in the area. They started talking, and eventually prayed together. Looking back now, Tony says this was the beginning of his gradual road to recovery. In 2012, the press started bringing attention to the mainstream about the gambling problems of ex-professional football players, and that’s when Tony got inspired & started writing his own story of his struggle with gambling and his fall from grace. He wrote the book ‘Red Card’ in 18 months and released it in 2014. His local church was his first sponsor, allowing him to use of the hall to get his word out.

It was very therapeutic, and cathartic for him to write the book. It was his way of getting all of his trials and tribulations out there, in hopes of raising awareness and helping others. He also has a big family, so he wanted to let all of them know what actually happened, so as not to hear it from someone else, or in a distorted way. One of the things that they are now talking about in the UK that Tony is proud of being a part of, is getting their general practitioners to talk about gambling addiction with their patients, just like they would with alcohol or drugs.

This is Tony Kelly in his own words, on Knockin’ Doorz Down.

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 For more information on the Carlos Vieira Foundation and the Race 2B Drug-Free, Race to End the Stigma, and Race For Autism programs visit:

https://www.carlosvieirafoundation.org/

For more on Tony Kelly 

https://kellysredcardconsultancy.co.uk/

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Growing up Robb had a tough childhood filled with trauma. He had a babysitter that would burn him with cigarettes. He also had a choirmaster in grade school that told his parents he was taking him to a recital and took him to a hotel to abuse him sexually. He tried to tell his mom, and she slapped him and didn’t believe him.

He was also playing in the family band at the age of 9, playing in adult venues and seeing all kinds of stuff he shouldn’t have seen at that age. He would go to school with holes in his socks and shoes, while his parents drank their money away at the bar every night. He inherited this gene from his parents, and it started to affect him in his early teenage years.

When he was 15, he auditioned to play bass for a session musician gig for Abbey Road studios. He had one beer to take the edge off and did well. They asked him back for 7 more auditions, so he had 7 more beers. He got the gig and decided that alcohol was the fuel of his creativity and his doing well, so he didn’t want to stop. This led to harder drugs like cocaine, and larger amounts of alcohol.

He was playing with legendary artists like David Bowie, Freddie Mercury and Elton John on some of their most prominent recordings. But his drinking and drugging got so bad, he was fired from a gig, and that was the beginning of a downward spiral, that eventually saw him living on the streets, with full-blown addiction. This was also the time he enrolled to Southampton University and Oxford University to get his PHD in Behavioral Science.

He states that there is “no money in recovery.” His recovery methods are practically free, and he points out that a lot of these so-called “recovery” centers, actually over-charge and exploit their patients. They know they will give sub-par service, because they know they will be right back in their center, getting another round of sub-par treatment. This is the vicious cycle that Robb wants to break.

The root of everything Robb tries to unfold and unpack is trauma. What is the trauma behind drinking, the drugs & addiction? He focuses on how to remap your subconscious brain, in order to start the process of healing.

This isn’t a job to Robb, it is a true life passion. He doesn’t need or want to charge huge amounts of money to get people into recovery. Robb says typical recovery programs and centers don’t like to work with him because he’s outspoken & doesn’t put up with any nonsense.

Robb specializes now in taking kids and adults out of the trauma, the darkness, and the depression of addiction and alcoholism, to show them that they can have that drive and ambition to follow your dreams.

This is Robb Kelly in his own words, on Knockin’ Doorz Down.

For Carlos Vieira's autobiography Knockin' Doorz Down

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For more on the Knockin' Doorz Down podcast and to follow us on social media

https://www.kddmediacompany.com/podcast

For more information on the Carlos Vieira Foundation and the Race 2B Drug-Free, Race to End the Stigma, and Race For Autism programs visit:https://www.carlosvieirafoundation.org/

For more on Dr. Robb Kelly 

https://robbkelly.com/

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