It’s probably important to let you know that Lauren prepares for this podcast by getting a packet of tissues out of her bag…

We are opening up a conversation about identity, creativity, and what happens when life slowly convinces you to shrink, which is something we have BOTH struggled with in the past. 

In this episode we talk about:

• What it feels like to rediscover your authentic self

• How self-doubt and external criticism slowly dim confidence

• Lauren’s experience studying physics at a Russell Group university while working 40 hours a week

• The moment her mum reminds her just how big that achievement really was

• A brilliant “synchronistic” story of how Lauren unknowingly met her husband Dave years before they started dating (via a mosh pit and a Chase & Status concert)

• Why art once saved Lauren’s life, and how she lost it again when she started creating what she thought people wanted

• The creative breakthroughs happening halfway through the Unlocking course

• Morning pages, emotional honesty, and the power of inner work • Learning to dress, create, and live for yourself rather than for imagined judgement

This episode is about coming back to yourself, slowly, imperfectly, and sometimes unexpectedly.

If you’ve ever wondered where your colourful, confident self went… this conversation might be a nice place to start. 

In Part 2 we move from noticing the voices in your head… to learning how to work with them.

Because the goal isn’t to eliminate your Judge or your saboteurs.

They’re old neural pathways — well-worn super highways in your brain that formed to keep you safe.

The real work is learning how to build a new road.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why your brain defaults to familiar mental patterns
• The science of neural pathways and habit loops
• Why most personal development focuses on the 20% (insight) instead of the 80% (practice)
• What PQ Reps are and how they interrupt negative patterns
• Simple grounding techniques like wiggling your toes or rubbing your fingertip ridges

These small moments help you cross the Bridge — moving out of saboteur mode and into the Sage.

The Sage is the part of you that approaches life with:

Empathy
Curiosity
Innovation
Navigation
Action

In other words: the version of you that can respond to life instead of reacting to it.

We also talk about the 7-week Positive Intelligence programme Jacqueline runs, which helps people build these mental fitness muscles through daily practice.

Because transformation doesn’t come from the insight alone.

It comes from repeating the new pathway often enough that your brain believes it.

If you’d like to build your mental fitness and learn how to quiet your inner critic, Jacqueline’s Positive Intelligence programme might be the place to start:👉 Work with Jacqueline: ⁠https://blondesrestoration.com/unlocking⁠

And if you’d like support with business strategy, creativity, and making decisions that align with who you actually are, you can work with Lauren here:👉 Work with Lauren: https://blondesrestoration.com/step-inside-session

In this episode we’re diving into a question that quietly shapes a lot of our decisions:

Who is actually driving your bus?

Is it you…
or is it the voice in your head telling you what you should do?

This conversation started with something very real. Lauren noticed a familiar physical feeling — tight shoulders, the “meat hooks” — and realised it was the signal that her Judge had taken the wheel.

It was showing up around a business decision: selling art prints because it felt like the sensible thing to do… even though what she actually wants is to create one-off legacy paintings.

From there we explore the concept of mental fitness using the Positive Intelligence (PQ) framework.

In this first part we talk about:

• How to recognise your inner critic (the Judge)
• Why your body often notices first before your mind catches up
• The different saboteur voices that try to keep us “safe”
• The powerful question: who is driving the bus right now?

We also introduce the three core elements of the PQ model:

The Judge & Saboteurs – the inner voices that run old protective patterns
The Bridge – the moment where you interrupt those patterns
The Sage – the part of you that leads with curiosity, creativity and compassion

If you’ve ever had that moment of realising you’re living someone else’s idea of success… this episode might land.

If this conversation resonates and you’d like to explore the business, creativity and decision-making side of this work, you can connect with Lauren here:
👉 Work with Lauren: https://blondesrestoration.com/step-inside-session

If you’re curious about developing mental fitness and working with your inner critic, Jacqueline runs a guided Positive Intelligence programme:
👉 Work with Jacqueline: https://blondesrestoration.com/unlocking

We want to preface these show notes that this episode is a bit vulnerable, we both get emotional, we are exploring these concepts real time as we invite you, the listeners to explore with us.

Take care of yourself as you listen. 

We start by answering questions you’ve been asking us on social media about our plan to live together. Yes. All of us. In one house.

We talk about:

🏡 What we’re excited about

😬 What makes us nervous

📦 Dad’s… “collections” (read: hoarding tendencies)

💬 How the dynamic might shift

🚪 And the absolute necessity of asking each other for space without it meaning rejection

But the conversation doesn’t stay logistical for long.

It turns into something much deeper.

Jacqueline shares how fear shows up in her body, not as a thought, but as something physical. She describes “Grudge Girl” (that pulling-in, shrinking, make-yourself-small feeling) and “Freddy Krueger” (the part that slashes at her voice when she tries to speak her truth). She connects it to a lifelong fear of punishment. Of upsetting people. Of being “too much.”

Lauren shares her Judge too, Mrs. Beech, Willy’s mum from Goodnight Mister Tom. The part that believes she has to be useful to be loved. The part that learned, somewhere around age ten, that being abandoned was possible.

We don’t present this as fixed. We’re not teaching it. We’re exploring it with you.

This episode is about:

• How fear lives in the body

• How our inner Judges try to protect us

• Why boundaries can feel like rejection

• The work of re-parenting the younger versions of ourselves

• And what it really takes to build a relationship, mother/daughter or otherwise, where both people are allowed to take up space
  

There are tears in this one, we are very clearly still figuring it out.

We would genuinely love you to listen and then tell us:

What does your Judge look like?

What is it trying to protect you from?

And what does your younger self need from you now?

You are very welcome in this conversation.

Big love,

The Blondes 🤍

In this week’s episode we start a little experiment in what happens when you stop consuming… and start creating.

We’re talking about Reading Deprivation Week, the seven-day challenge as part of Unlocking and the Artist’s Way, of not consuming new content. No books. No podcasts. No mindless scrolling for inspiration. Just you and your own brain.

It started for us on Friday 20th Feb, and it’ll finish two days after this episode goes live (26th Feb)… so you’re very much listening to us mid-experiment.

What we didn’t expect was how quickly the urge to “take in” became the urge to make.Turns out, when you stop filling the allotment with everyone else’s seeds… something of your own starts growing.

We talk about:

How restriction can actually feel like creative freedomThe difference between consuming for comfort vs consuming to avoid

Morning Pages – why Lauren takes forever and Jacqueline somehow doesn’t

An update on the “Unlocking” group (oil paints, museum trips, roller skates, Othello…)

Jacqueline’s visit to Nottingham Contemporary to see Dala Nasser

And a beautiful philosophical moment about not “letting go” of past versions of yourself… but integrating them

This one is about self-imposed boundaries, creativity, about stingy artist energy (yes, that’s a thing) and about remembering what you loved before you thought you had to be sensible.

If you’ve been feeling overstimulated, creatively blocked, or disconnected… this might be the nudge you need.

And if you fancy trying Reading Deprivation Week with us, there’s still time.

We’d love to know What would you buy if you weren’t being a “stingy artist”?

And what did you love before the world told you to grow up?

Big love,

The Blondes 💛

P.S. Here’s the link to check out Dala Nasser’s exhibition at the Nottingham Contemporary

https://www.nottinghamcontemporary.org/whats-on/dala-nasser-cemetery-of-martyrs/

We recorded today’s podcast episode on Friday the 13th so BEWARE

We’ve both been feeling a bit foggy and overwhelmed, chatting about how the world feels "fuzzy" 

We got curious today, about how anger can be observed and used constructively. 

Have you heard the quote "anger is meant to be acted on, not acted out"? Today we connect it to online reactions to a post about not shaming people for doing the behaviours we want to see, including debate around accountability and how shaming can push people underground or into rebellion. 

We are exploring boundaries as actions for oneself rather than insults toward others, as always chatting about our own lives 

Remembering again one of our favourites, Johann Hari’s book "Stolen Focus" and an analogy of the brain as an orchestra: spotlight focus for tasks and constant consuming (including doomscrolling), and the default mode network for meaning-making when not trying (e.g., washing up, walking, daydreaming). 

We’re chatting how psychological safety determines whether the default mode network leads to creativity and connection-making or to rumination and spiralling, with examples like journaling anxiety, food-related spirals, and performance pressure in yoga. 

Please, as always comment, share, send this to a mate, help us share this little conversation between a mum and a daughter who are figuring it all out as we go, and inviting you to do the same.

Join us on a very wet day in Nottingham as we catch up on how all things ‘Unlocking’ are going! 

Can real change be made in a week? Well we reckon so and you’ll definitely hear it in our voices (underneath the croak of Lauren’s cold)

Jacqueline is talking ‘if nothing changes, nothing changes’ as she takes accountability for her fitness and getting moving again while Lauren chats about shifting the goals for prime dopamine release. 

As always we would LOVE to hear from you, your thoughts, ways you agree and disagree with us, incredible shows, programs and songs you’ve listened to.

This may be a conversation between Blondes, but you are key to it ❤️

See you next week, don’t forget to hit follow.

Jacqueline and Lauren

Welcome back to Know You Matter, where life doesn’t wait for the podcast to end before throwing more chaos our way.

And this week it definitely feels personal.

No sooner had we finished recording last week's episode on capacity… Lauren’s car broke down AGAIN. Not once. Twice. The second time with her stuck in it.

Apparently, the universe heard “capacity” and said, “Let’s test that.”

In this episode:

🚗 We recap Pudding’s third (yes, third) breakdown

🧠 We reflect on how fast the body says nope when you’re at your edge

🎨 Jacqueline introduces her new 12-week coaching programme inspired by The Artist’s Way

📖 Lauren shares some unexpectedly profound realisations about her relationship with creativity, self-trust, and the version of herself that gave up on The Artist’s Way last time

Whether you’re creative, chaotic, or just clinging on by the threads of your own nervous system, you’ll get something from this one.

And if you’re interested in the 1:1 version of Unlocking, coming soon, DM Jacqueline on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the_restoration_coachtm/

Please don’t forget to hit follow and subscribe to be notified when our cackles drop - and if you’re feeling extra fancy, we’d love a share! 

Love as always,

The Blondes

Jacqueline and Lauren

We’re back in the studio this week after a very real few days — Lauren’s car (Pudding, bless her) is being a little diva and refusing to start, Paloma (Jacqueline’s car) needed a dramatic rescue, and that was just Wednesday...

But this isn’t just a podcast about dodgy Corsas and roadside breakdowns (though honestly, we could do a whole series).

This week, we’re talking about something a little deeper: how to sit with the hard stuff — frustration, shame, overwhelm — without letting it swallow you whole.

We chat about:

• The emotional whiplash of caregiving (and snack-demanding toddlers)

• Why sometimes the smallest things (like an empty petrol tank or an eye roll) hit the hardest

• PMDD, perimenopause, and how hormones are truly that bitch

• What it means to actually build capacity — not to “cope better,” but to stay kind to yourself when things are messy

  
  

And yes, we’re still laughing through all of it — because if you can’t laugh when your car won’t start in the rain, what can you do?

Whether you're a parent, a carer, in the thick of burnout, or just a human with big feelings and no time — this one’s for you.

🎧 Listen and let us know what feelings are kicking off in your house this week. We’ll bring snacks. (But not for Bella. She’s had five.)

Lauren get's emosh as we talk about perfectionism in this episode.

Have you ever got mad at your other half for not getting something right first time?

Lauren is exploring what it means for her and her relationship as she realises she's been holding her husband to standards set by her own internal stories.

Talking all things:

perfectionism

relationships

giving yourself a hard time

and more

As always we'd love to hear from you, please don't forget to follow us to get new episodes as soon as they're live

With love, as always

The Blondes

Jacqueline and Lauren