Kruse Corner Podcast

Everywhere you look on social media, you can find people talking about domestic violence, abuse, or sexual assault. There are entire pages and organizations dedicated to these topics. So, if so many are talking about it and sharing their experiences, why aren't changes being made? Why does it still feel like these issues aren't being addressed? When survivors speak, are people actually listening? If we truly have one another's six and nobody stands alone, why aren't we being louder? Why aren't we pushing for change? Why aren't we protecting the abused, sharing stories from the survivors, or holding people both in the ranks and outside the service accountable?

With June being PTSD Awareness Month, it only seemed right to kick-off season 3 sharing what I have learned about PTSD and PTS. This is a topic I have covered in past episodes, but based on feedback and reactions, it is clear that the stigma and misperceptions surrounding this trauma and stressor-related syndrome are still alive and strong.

It is always surprising to hear how many people don't know why we have Memorial Day. This episode is to explain what Memorial day is and what it means to others. For this episode, Lani will read a number of messages that were sent to her from other veterans, service members, and members of military families. These personal reflections speak of the honor and mourning that take place, not just on Memorial Day, but every day after we lose someone near and dear to our hearts that made the ultimate sacrifice. 

Due to avoiding negative stereotypes and feeling like being "one of the guys" was the safest way to belong in the military, women sometimes create barriers for each other during their time in service. I left the Army feeling bitter towards other women because of how I had been treated, but as a veteran, I was desperately seeking the company of those that had similar experiences to me, so I gave women veterans a second chance and was greatly surprised. My view of military spouses was also changed once I became a military spouse, and that helped me to grow, as well. This episode is a shout-out to all the amazing women veterans out there that helped me move on and heal old wounds and bitterness.

For this episode, Lani shares her personal story about dealing with prescription drug use. She describes what began to happen to her body after doctors continued to stack pill upon pill in her system for years and then one day, without warning, took them all away.

For this episode I am joined by, Alyssa, who served in the Army as a generator mechanic. Alyssa describes her time in Korea, the successes and challenges of fighting for benefits, her reaction to the Vanessa Guillen story, and how she reached the decision to not remain silent any longer. Stories like Alyssa's are crucial. If veterans do not communicate their struggles or experiences, how will anyone know where the changes need to be made and the support needs to be given? In her own words: "Don't let the top of the mountain be overwhelming to you... Just keep moving, you'll be there eventually, and you'll be looking down from the top of it." Remember, none of us were given an instruction manual to get through life or trauma, so every story shared is another page in all of our survival guides.

From overcoming sexual harassment and assault in the workplace, to having our achievements criticized or belittled, and constantly having to prove that we are better than those stereotypes and low expectations that follow us wherever we go; women are met with a number of challenges the moment they decide to join the military. And those challenges continue once we become veterans and, again, must prove that we deserve to be recognized, receive proper care, have our sacrifices counted, and are not simply here to be used, abused, or exploited for entertainment or pleasure. 

It took a fair amount of time for me to admit that I struggled with PTSD, but it took even longer to convince people that the pain and fear I felt was legitimate. As a woman, I was often treated as though I was being dramatic or lying; as a combat veteran, I didn't have the story people were looking for; and as a mother, I was ridiculed for "allowing" my trauma to occur in the first place.