The Doctor and Romana go on their hols for a water and bouillabaisse blowout by the banks of the Seine.

Naturally, things do not run smoothly as an ancient alien, a mad scientist and a pugilistic private dick muddy the waters and they're surrounded by fake, if enigmatic, smiles.

The Third Doctor probably thought things were bad enough - stuck on Earth as he was with a dud TARDIS, a scatty hippy and a bunch of squaddies.

But now he has to contend with CSO in his sink, a bunch of Mr Blobbys on his lawn and a loud-mouthed mentalist with a grudge. Luckily his former selves turn up to make things even worse.

Avian headgear ahoy! Yes, the Black and White Guardians are back to oversee a space race in which Turlough goes overboard, Gladys Emmanuel is over the top and Leeee John is overestimated as an actor.

The Sixth Doctor gets a second outing with this tale of hard men, frigid women and a Fat Controller. And marvel as Jim shamelessly steals Fry and Laurie material in the intro.

Time for the story which gave our pod its name. A horticultural tale in which an artistic old bat recovers a debt, a tree-hugger becomes compost and Boycie ends up out of his depth with a gardening problem.

Burn your chess boards and steer clear of the beach... Fenric's in town! Look out for teenage vamps, ancient vampires and the strangest chat-up of all time. And give Nicholas Parsons just a minute of your time before crying "stunt casting!"

Doctor Who is required to suffer a swinging night club, a controlled companion and a Savile comparison, all while trying to defeat a computerised menace with a vendetta against cardboard boxes.

An absolute banger involving our newly dandified hero stealing a banger. Plastic killers, a shiny receptionist and a tea-dribbling basket case thrown in.

Watch out for obelisks, chessboards and mind probes - it's The Five Doctors!

Harry fiddles with a knob, Sarah passes out and the Doctor gets in a sweat on The Ark in Space.