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“The New Adventures of Old Supacree”

This is not what I intentioned.

Well, what had you intentioned,

dammit , how do you spell her name?

Spell it? I can barely say it!

“C'cx–

WRONG.

How would you say this name.

Axel?

Thas' a stupid name

Not for a Rockstar.

That's already a rockstar

Is it?

Whatever, man.

The Rock must have been buzzing in some sort of special way on this day; because for some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I had finally rearranged the remainder of my seemingly new surroundings— the miniature Keurig— a status symbol, of course— looked handsome on the work desk— the cat tree seemed to match, though with no actual feesible monetary income,, no actual cat, and no end in sight— the tree itself would have to be enough to lift my spirits. It was a nice cat tree, almost untouched and looking very brand new— though the couch had a few scratches, though easily hidden with the decorative use of a couple throws—at least I had a couch, and all that was left to accomplish before fully enjoying was to arrange an order of Febreeze to rid it of its previous owner's dandruff smell, and general mismanagement—besides that, it was itself almost brand new as well, and it seemed a strange new world to wake up in, after sleeping in a nearly empty apartment for 6 months; there was 6 months left in my lease, and I was getting nervous that they would try to push me out—hopefully I would find someplace better, or at the very least higher up—with the same amenities intact. Still, I was working as diligently as in could on organizing—at least the recordings, to put together the next group of projects as quickly as I could— nevermind the writing—and there was so, so much of it, I hadn't a clue what to do.

I had been avoiding Rockefeller Plaza like the plague for quite sometime—it always made me nervous in a sort of way I didn't understand, in that I would pulsate and vibrate differently, and more often times than not, was upset and concerned that I had yet to go to the top—a costly feat—nor could I afford to entertain or enjoy any of the amusements at the bottom—not that I wanted to, as the older I got, and especially the longer time spent in New York, the more off putting the public and large crowds were—particularly after a remarkably disgusting respiratory infection I caught on new years, battling a crowd which became impossible to move through at all—let alone see the ball drop—and I had learned my lesson, especially after The Macy's Day parade; the crowds in New York were disgustingly unbearable, and in order to get a good view of anything, you would have to arrive nearly a full day early, and simply camp—now I knew why people packed around collapsible lawn chairs on holiday weekends.

I had been blindsided by Fallon towards the end of the Macy's day parade—I hadn't any clue at all that he apparentlyboarticipated annually, as it had been years since I had watched the parade myself with my parents—and still, it was iconic—I always wanted to go. Still, and even though I had only written very little of him up to that point, I found it disasterous that as his name was announced and the float which carried him and The Roots, the best late night band on Television, not by opinion, but by fact—as I had most recently been studying and researching as thoroughly as I could all of the late night hosts since the dawning of Television in preparation to write this pilot, The TV People, short handed to TVP—and just then I recalled a dream from the night before, about Pat Kirkpatrick—for the first time in the dream world, it wasn't Fallon at all, but Pat Kirkpatrick.

I couldn't remember the dream, nor could I seemingly work myself out of the rut that had been the plateau in writing the show—the show itself was heavy, with so many characters, all of which each had been given detailed and specific personalities, livelihoods, and backgrounds—in fact, I hadn't written anything in such a way since college, with detail—actually, I had never written anything so detailed at all, so character oriented that the character analyses filled entire pages of documents with excruciating vividness, as if these people were real. Well, now they were—and Fallon was neither Patrick as I was Esha, and the story has taken its own form, still however birthing an incredibly awkward and romanticized fascination and near obsession with the TV people themselves—not that I would feed it to be so. I blocked out the news outlets, the media, the alrogithm's suggestions to watch bits and pieces of Fallon, though, however, I refused, and somehow, I didn't need it. Fearfully so, he was somewhere lodged deep somewhere inside of me—and I was even sort of embarrassed to have written some of the things I had of his essence, however prophetic it seemed to be, that for about a three week period between April and May, I seemed to have gone off into a trance of sorts, writing for hours and experiencing vivid visions of this show, The TV Prople, alongside writing The Festival Project ™ And all of its markers—there were so many worlds, so many ways throughout them—and now as I had realized, I had actually been writing about Fallon nearly as long as I had been writing about Sonny, but differently. I had never of course come face to face with Fallon as I had the latter—and still—found it somewhat nessecary to hide my face beneath a mask as his float passed my viewing spaf , an elevated view from the staircase of some church, which had happened to be perfect—and although I was certain it's not as if he was looking for or at me—I had just then been writing of this Cosmic Avenger, and hadn't any idea at the time of Fallon in reality having been an actual magician, and still— with cameras everywhere, and knowing even what I had written—I didn't want to be caught by any passing cameras with any sort of blush or worse—a smile on my face as the float passed— a smile which would flash my atrocious gap-tooth and crooked smile I was sure was permanent, by then having been in the homeless shelter nearly a year. As soon as his name was announced, I promptly pulled up my mask, hiding under my sunglasses. I had already been caught on camera earlier in the parade gawking at some float—now was not the time to be caught gawking again.

He, like Rob Lowe seemed impeccably professional and well-rehearsed, like a cartoon character— he was, after all, kind of a cartoon character, however now, even if it was partly due to my own writing, I took him more seriously. There was a darkness about him— a sometimes glassy-eyed, almost scary darkness that told me, even a world away, not to fuck with this dude—some kind of animal or monster I was sure we both shared, however mine more the type and category of insatable and undernourished and his more peaking its head out in the form of a multi-millionaire network puppet, which housed an untamable powerhouse of musicianship, manhood, and wit— it's true, I was finally scared of him, knowing after all what the true tears of a clown could be, a dangerous man in a uniformed suit, the Everyman for the programmed masses, and the funny man with a jig to dance, a story to tell, and an indoor life— secret realm within I was sure no one knew. I fed the monster with respect to the home, happy wife, and children— I, after all, loved love, and only wanted it for myself, leaving alone the parts of a man I had found and was sure was broken enough to have left me puzzled and star studded rather than struck as I always was, tears welling up at the thought of it that something should be mended neither I or anything I was could not fix—I continued to write, however, knowing I was walking on glass barefoot and tiptoeing on eggshells around the mass media conglomerate of the network that stood between my feeble world and his, the higher ups— and beyond: it was, after all, a level system— and now with a beautifully decorated and fully apartment, besides my mattress on the floor instead of the space saving loft bed I had wanted—though it looked just right with the piano bench as a headboard, housing my crystals and new globe, plus a colorful collection of books I could crack open as I awoke to the morning light, no longer so early but increasingly later, as I shifted into the insomniatic habits of a true DJ and music producer, still writing and reading in the mornings, however— I had to wonder what level I was truly on.

My apartment looked like a home. The decor was better than I could have imagined myself even, the tasteful furnishings and modern elegance shifting my reality— no longer an empty apartment, now a fashionable hub for art and creation. I assumed the cat would come along in the winter, with any hopes that I would finish my albums by then—and also looming over me— my last life, and the people in it struggling to call up to me in this very ascended realm, which I was lucky to inhabit.

‘Thank you God for your many blessings'

My wishes it seemed, had been granted— magic did indeed seem real, and though I had an Amazon return packages and ready to go— there wasn't a time and place I could see myself as ready to even be near The Rock, some festering bulletwound in my heart, all that I had written, not just of Fallon, but of the rest of the people I had honored by word mark but had not yet the status or wealth to have ever known as human at all, but more products of the program; with intention, however, it was the path I had followed to be destined here somehow though small codes and doorways, signals and symbols which called to me and seemed only I could see—but were there in plain sight, and with the right eyes, had meant more than I ever dreamed anything could— open doors to a world I had indeed created myself, and in turn, the world in which I lived had also been created around me. I had to, in my mind, find the light inside all of whom I studied, to humanize myself—nurturing some fascination of fame and celebrity inside which still stood unanswered, the question of why and how one becomes so high up that without trying, that I might continue to find them in my mind's eye and in my world, on the outside, time after time.

—tales of a superstar DJ.

The men with the littlest dicks

Drive the loudest bikes

And they talk too much

About nothing

To no one

The men with the littlest dicks

Do the littlest things

I call it niggardly

Dispite the color

Follow the leader

To instill fear

Within earshot

The men with the littlest dicks

Want the skinniest women

The chicks who remind them of

Innocence lost

A childhood spent

Getting boredom for freedom

And allowences for doing nothing

The men with the littlest dicks

Do the littlest shit

Like make everyone miserable

Yes, it is a miserable existence,

Never being wanted, however

I should know better than this

TINA FEY

SON OF A BITCH.

(Everyone's still drunk)

What.

Why, what happened?

He got here before us.

What?!

How do you know?

[pause]

Okay.

This weird detour is paying off in some kind of way—

I'm still heavily obsessed with the fact that Johnny Carson referred to his weird drunken jacking off as “cranking it”

ON TV.

On something close to live television in like—

The 80's

Was it the 80's?

I don't know,

And apparently even Johnny Carson doesn't know, because he was “sauced”,

So let's just go ahead and add that to the list of ghosts I have to track down for making me squeal like a little fucking schoolgirl.

However,

I'm half convinced,

He's still around—

Oh yes.

I do believe these—

THIS MAN—

Oh, holy shit here it goes.

HERE'S JOHNNY!

Aw, fuck.

I told you not do.

What was I supposed to do—?!

Not do it

It was a blood oath—

I told you—

Mi had to do it.

*shrugs*

Well, now, you're fucked.

STAY DOWN, MOTHERFUCKER.

Ooh. This is gonna hurt.

I swear to god,

Every day of my life:

I will KILL YOU

YOU CANT KILL ME.

AND EVERY DAY THAT YOU DO NOT DIE;

I WILL

JUST STAY DOWN, MOTHERFUCKER—

DIE, MOTHERFUCKER—

GO. TO. SLEEP.

aaaaaGGGGHhHHHHHHHHHHHH.

—I WILL KILL YOU

.

Don't give up!

Seriously!

Seriously,

I got money on this.z

Really?

What. How much.

Just $10.

Oh.

That's good

Yeah, but it's the only cash I've had in months!

I forgot what it was.

I'm rich,

Everything's cashless.

Tickets! Get your tickets!

Ze are cheaper here on ze black market.

“The Black Market”

How much for this one?

$9

I'll take three.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP.

I'M A DJ, BITCH. I DONT SLEEP.

Have you ever thought about .

What you're gonna be—

When you die?

Yeah. I've been thinking about it a lot.

Okay, what is it.

I get three right?

Right, yeah.

A Superstar DJ.

Okay, that's good. What else?

A rockstar

Okay, what else?

A mom.

That's it?

Yeah, man. I die and gone to heaven, right?

Right.

So that's it.

What's the wager?

Four horses.

Got it.

What exactly brings you here to bargain?

My fat and heavy nuts.

No questions asked.

—tales of a Supersrar DJ

VO

I didn't know he called back.

I didn't even see the message.

I feel like such a piece of shit.

I am a piece of shit.

Worthless.

My eyes itch,

My nose bleeds

My heart hurts now,

I'm all gone

Dark on Mondays

All gone

Gone till Sunday

All done

I was never an good mother

No

Just a ghost with a gun

I was never on top of the world, son

Just under it

Now I'm all out of something I can't put my hand on

And I'm all out of love,

No one wants me

Imm washed up

One hand on the guitar

One foot in the door

And one head in the oven

I'm all done

I'm all done

My eye itches

My nose bleeds

The noose loosens,

I fall down

I'm so stuck on an old number

I'm so lost that I'm found now.

—I'm so sorry

But no one else is

Tie me to the bed

And watch me bleed

So full of disinterest and vinegar

Remember to tie me to the crossword

In the times tomorrow

Four rainbows for your dumb luck

A forced fuck from one goat

The other still doesn't row well

It's a long boat

It's a long story

It goes untold

They all turn to the one who wants to hurt me

In the long run

Nobody will ever love me again

So I'm told

Might as well find a bottle of ferment

To grow up in

Swallow bottles of old wine

With a sour tongue

Unremarkable

SHOUT!

Defamed you,

Heroism in the—

Never hatred, but indifference,

Circumstances. Circumcisions

Misdirection,

Big decisions

Defense strategy?

To exit—

Just as quickly as it all begins to fade away

Nearly as quickly as it started,

Newfound freedom near the exit,

After happenstance,

Never afraid to admit to neglect

Selected supplies,

For fear of the eye

Goddammit it, late night people

Of course; when was it last you saw letterman on a surfboard?

Almost never?

Forget to fear them,

The men in mirrors,

The sharks in surfboards,

The writer's block, over

The rockstar on opioids

Does it hurt anybody else this much to just stand here

If Tweety's the Canarybird,

When who am I to call myself a cat,

Sylvester!

The silver streaks in his hair,

The glaze in his eyes

The break in his heart

The health of the hoax

FUCK YOU FALLON

I hope your ratings went up

Just a bit

Just a bit

I hope you CRANK THIS

Up in your car

While I forgot about you

I hope the peanut butter goes with the jelly

The couch fits with the vision covers

The cookies go with the coffee haven't mopped the floor yet, of course

All out of Pablo santo

For your information

I just didn't make the grade

Cause teacher hates me

I still haven't found a mate

With every amen

I hate me

Almost as much as I hate myself

And I

So I can't be

God itself

Cause I love that thing

Alright?

Amen!

Can I have a can opener or three to set the record straight

Can I scratch as fast as I sniff up every tear

Every line of cocaine

Every autograph?

No you can't.

Just know that my landlord has a thougsand bathrooms

I can't find my hat, my gun—

And where the fuck are the bananas

CONAN O BRIEN

EXCUSE MY FRENCH,

BUT

FUCK YOU,

WOAAAAAH, CONAN!

WOAH!

WHAT DID I DO?!

You—

You fucked up the entire fucking ecosystem

With CUMSLUTS!

WHAT THE FUCK, BRO!

Can you even SAY any of that?!

I just did!

Which network do you work for?!

Where's Fallon at?!

he's dead, bro!

He's dead?!

Yeah!

For what?!

I don't know. I just found out.

Well. What happened.

Someone shot him.

Again?!

Yeah, but like, way worse this time.

So they finally got him, ah?

No, he died of a heart attack.

What!

Then they shot him.

What. That doesn't make sense.

Nothing makes sense.

This scene is running long.

I thought so.

DIRECTOR

CUT.

That was great.

Thanks.

Except—Conan.

Yes?

You're too tall.

What?

Next. Take I want you to try it—

Like—

Just the way you just did it—

Uh huh

But smaller:

What do you mean?

Like, less tall.

Oh. Alright.

BREAK FOR LUNCH.

“The Everymans”

01

I'll know why soon I'm sure

It hurts with every word

You're sleeping on my floor

I'm fuming in the north

My foot goes through the door

Where were you then,

When the mystery ends

When the miser's the minister,

Mistral and instrumentalist

Ah

Magic; illusion

Illustrious industry

Interdependent television

Radio signals, Satelites

Entropy

Trophy wives,

Fight clubs

Back at nine

Nick at night

Every time is every time

Time is all you need, and

Time is on your side, if

You just follow me

Reader's remorse

Writer's digest

Try to sit still for a moment,

Take a lesson

From your friends here

So when, then should I trade my

Brand new pants in for a suit

The bird said

The cat damaged

(I can't yet)

Can of soup to open,

Oh yes

Cambells is it?

Warhol knows best

02

I thought I told you

I don't want to

Owe you

Are you

Over it

Somebody once told me

You were holy

Somebody once told me

To hold onto

Somebody once said

Turn the light off

But I've been trying

To buy fire

Someone's in the box, God

Someone once told me

Someone let me out—God?

Someone once told me

Fuck it,

I just want to hold you

I don't want to own you

I just want to

Someone once told me

Beware of you

Someone else told me

Be there for you

Someone once told me

The hair of dog

Ought to get you along

I got handfuls of songs

With no worlds yet

Someone once told me

Someone once told me

Someone once told me

Someone once told me.

Someone's in the box, God

Someone once told me

Someone let me out—God?

Someone once told me

Somebody once told me

You were holy

Somebody once told me

To hold onto

I thought I told you

I don't want to

Owe you

Are you

Over it

03

I'm a multidimensional wordsmith

Sike! I'm a psychopath wrecking your whole home

Won't you wound my womb?

(I won't go )

Won't you hold onto my world?

(Why won't you?)

Sorry,

I slipped on the mat this morning

Stumbling over you

Thought it was afternoon

Don't want to give you

The news, cause you wrote it all

Causes for dollars

Indifference, disasters, sons

Why won't you hold me like you used to?

Why don't I know the answers to the crosswords?

Why don't you meet me at the crossroads with your—

No, no,

Don't do that

Don't call it home

To be continued

Where were you this morning,

When I stumbled in

To love you?

She said

At the forefront of your honor's worth

If all you are's a wordsmith, m

god unlock you

Pen and paper

Gun in holster

Officer,

Pull down the trigger

Don't want to give you

The news, cause you wrote it all

Causes for dollars

Indifference, disasters, sons

No, no,

Don't do that

Don't call it home

To be continued

Once upon a time,

All my eyes were brown

(The money, the power, the respect)

Now those days are gone

The world is still round

(At least I thought)

The misery set in again

They said the lows would come

I did hate Mondays, after all

With no sun to come up

And look forward to

Fast forward—

Did you ever see that?

Well, that is technically the back door.

I almost forgot about that place.

That's because it doesn't exist.

It had to exist. Now I've seen it at least twice

Hey!

How'd you do that.

Christ, he is a magician

Oh yeah, Cosmos factory.

They said the lows were coming.

Maybe I needed them to finish that thing—

I swear I missed

Something

The ghost

(The other one, anyway)

Dillon was a ghost, once

No, ghost was the ghost, but we were

—close.

Good friends.

Imaginary friends.

Anyway.

Fuck this nonsense.

Nonsense, is it

Just—

Don't make me slit my wrists again.

I remembered this day for something

Wonder what.

Maybe nothing

I hate Mondays

Guess this is the job,

This is the job,

I was wondering about the suit.

So, are you a parrot, a puppet, or a mimick.

I swear to god that's him.

Good,

Now I don't ever have to watch him.

Oh shit,

Fuck this playlist

Are you sure

“saved by the cowbell”

God, I feel like shit,

And I shouldn't be hungry

But I'm starving inside

For some loving

Someone help me

Somebody, something

I'm suffering, suffocating

Need him,

Reeling,

Reading

Sinking,

Feeling

—but shouldn't be crying.

I digress, however

It was an interesting

Day to digest

God, I forgot about this—

A whole soundtrack

Jesus Christ,

Bring it back;

I like who your wife is

—would you write that?

Would you admit to dying on the cross once?

Would you admit to admiring Ms, Robinson

Would you wash out the Robin in Williams

Look at Carson

I defect to default

Cracked asfault, to decadence

Desire or what have you

I haven't,

I promise

I would not admit to wanting,

Something like a cupcake

Something else is in there

Figure it out

Danger

The five pointer approaches

With heroic intolerance

Suddenly, it's gone, God

Mustn't be the Republicans,

For the most part,

I would want that

For fear of the liberals,

And my rent controlled apartment

I've got two thumbs, too,

You know

I've got Jews up my ass for the asking

I've got mom up my spine for the others

Fucking assholes

—so this is what it means to be married to the music, huh

No one to really hold you,

But I told you, I've got golden globes and Oscars

Every morning

Motorcycles for the morons

I've got daughters for your doorknobs

—Know you're sorry now

Catch the drum pattern

Your heart should stop fluttering

With butter on it

Weren't we all once prostitutes

In foster care

The others wouldn't dare

To call a fountain out

For the fountains—

Busy training you

Safe to say a savior says

I do,

And then doesn't

For the most part

I'm a woman

With the wants

And the body of a

God

FUCKING WATCH IT, CARSON

but you got that all on a card, love.

All on a card, fuck.

What was your wish,

You dumb motherfucker?

Look what I got the other ones.

Hi Cosmo.

Hi Wanda.

Awww. I love them.

Dead drunk by tomorrow

I hope,

I choke on sunsets.

He keeps taking you away someplace,

Where is it?

Does nobody else know this place?

No. Nobody else can see this!

Well, that's fucked up.

I had a dream I was at your wake.

That would be great.

I wrote a scene where your obituary just said

“lol”

“lol”

What! That's it?!

Yeah.

And It's not even capitalized!

That's it,

I've had enough.

Throw the whole world away.

What.

just throw it away.

Damn dog,

You okay?

No. I'm homeless.

That's okay.

You smell like a whole ass alien.

What?

Come to my place.

I figured this would have more depth.

I—

Nevermind.

It is, like torture, you know— this thing.

I didn't do it on purpose.

get oFF of me.

getawayfromme.

Okay, I'm taking my bread out of the freezer.

You sure are eating a lot today .

You sure are sounding like a pain in my big, fat, ass.

I—

That ought to shut you up.

Look! CUMSLUTS!

NICE.

Get off of my boat.

What.

Aye-aye, captain.

(Duck dives)

Wait. What just happened?

Mi think I might have—

Great,

Now there are things about this—

I can't even write.

This secret dies with me.

Kill that bitch.

Fucking great.

So,

Where were you on 9/11 again?

I'll deal with this later.

I gotta go.

Wait, where are you going?

Fuck you, that's where.

Wait!

If you saw me hanging from the rafters

Would you ahoot to kill

Or come to shoot me down?

At long last,

Disaster

Are there tears in your denial

As the memorandum sets in?

Neither there or neither farther am I

Father,

Can you call again?

I haven't heard you yet

Besides the heart drops

When the beat falls out

If I hang myself

Like pendulum

From the old bank walls

Would you watch me swing

Or come to cut me down

Don't doubt the alter

If it were the birds

Coming for the crumbs

Would you ponder any longer

Whether they were all of one feather

Come now

Don't doubt the alter

Don't fear the weapons

Don't worry, mother

I'm coming to kill you

Uh, I'm gonna wait on dinner.

FUCK,

What the fuck was I saying?

FUCK.

I hate this dude.

FUCK.

Come on, you stupid —biiitch!

I hate this dragon.

Almost as much as I hate—

You know what?

What?

Forget it. I'm not doing this.

What why not!?

I'm gonna get killed for this.

You're in the Illuminati; you're gonna get killed anyway.

Yeah, but not for this!

Let's hope!

Who know, though!

UGH; SHUT UP.

GET IN HERE.

I hate the sound of your name

Like an unheard whisper

Unanswered

I could never call to

A cavern

Righteous,

Unwanted

What was is, though.

Something about a wheelbarrow'

I just went surfing

Hit the surface from underwater

Shook out the slumber

What was it worth, God?

What were the words for?

Fuck,

A shapeshifter and a telepath?

How many people have that?

Not that many.

How many people know about this?

Enough.

FUCK.

Oh, look whose swearing.

I solemnly swear—

Don't tell NOBODY.

I ain't telling nobody about this.

Good.

Now get out.

I'm gonna kill this sonofabitch.

SON OF A—BITCH.

That's it. Kill him.

Where's my gun?

Did you check the fridge?

No.

[THE IMPENETRABLE TEN ENTER the KITCHEN]

What?! All ten of them?!

I fucking guess.

—but

DANE COOK

*kicking down door*

FUCK!

Goddammit it

We missed her.

OR—him.

Her?

Him?

I don't know.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

What is it?

It's a pilot!

Oh shit, should I shoot him?

Not a helicopter pilot!

A TV pilot,

For what?!

Tv is dead.

Streaming is where its out,

It's for me!

I'm in it!

Oh!

What!

Let me see.

(In the fridge)

…what is this?

[from the bedroom/studio]

Hey you guys!

What.

What happened?

What's up!

YOU SHOULD SEE THIS.

Love is not blind,

And neither am I

It's like that sometimes, always

Tip of the tongue,

The art of the lie,

It's like that sometimes,

Always

A tale of all tales

A sign of the times

It's like that always, sometimes

I forgot to forget I saw you;

I forgot to forget I know you

I forgot to forget I love you

I forgot to forgive,

I want you

Shut the door,

Let the lights turn off

Turn the page

—till the sun comes up

Something real

Something wrong

I forgot

Something strange

Something weird

I'm in love

Write the song

Love is not blind,

And neither am I

It's like that sometimes, always

Tip of the tongue,

The art of the lie,

It's like that sometimes,

Always

A tale of all tales

A sign of the times

It's like that always, sometimes

I forgot to forget I saw you;

I forgot to forget I know you

I forgot to forget I love you

I forgot to forgive,

I want you

Shut the door,

Let the lights turn off

Turn the page

—till the sun comes up

Something real

Something wrong

I forgot

Up is up

Down is down

Right is right

Wrong is wrong

Black is white

Dark is light

Right is wrong

I love you

My house is normal now,

With a table and chairs

But I don't call it home

Cause I know

They'll throw me to the curb

Leave in in the road

Like the animal I am

You don't know what the world does

When she's off work

You don't know how the world acts

When she's off her axis

It's okay to take hiatus

Instead of medication

It's okay to call the cops on motorcycle

It's okay to die

Before you see your son

When Sunday comes

Just call your mom on Monday

Doctor visits

EMTs and emergencies

Epics and Epochs

Long lost love songs to god

And Cardinal Directions

Reflections in mirrors

Table toppers for all the dramas

All the months you lost

On muttered mantras

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.

Make a mockery of myself;

wear smock to work

I don't talk too much no more

I just gossip somedays,

Dark on mondays;

The forgotten apostle

With just enough rope

To jump off and hope

It all stops, soon

The motocross and the terror stalkers

Just across from the starbucks at the Rock

–it got awkward

But God Loves me

Might start a talk show

Some chef, with a pop tart

A pop up club, a long night

Some broke shards of glass,

the yards of all the scars on stars and stripe

Feels like a long night–

Got coffee and tacos

A long talk with your blonde wife

To bypass the psycos

Right, though?

Bro, it's so over;

I won a whole asshole and a four leaf clover

In a game of poker

Now, brush your shoulders off

Brush your hair,

Pet the dog,

And kick the cat over and over

Till he turns back to a robot

“You're so gross.”

–don't i know it.

The whole world is over

–you jump first,

I'll follow

Lets keep talking

About the letters I penned

To the false Gods,

Painted them scarlett, of course

Scattered em from here

to Scarboro Fair,
I was right there,

then out of nowhere

a new nightmare

with nice hair

Here we go again

Lines out the door;

We got lines out the door

Out of Order

The world is at war

The whole world has run

Out of water

The four is the for

Theres no five

But the V for vendetta

Theres lines out the door

The whole world

Is a mom

And a daughter

My jokes get better,

The buildings look bigger

I pretend this seltzer is alcohol

Cause i want it

To make me forget

I've got all my–

Huh

There's a line out the door.

What if–

Me,

And all of your friends

And all of my

Wait, I don't have any friends

I'm getting a cat.

I was just thinking about Mila Kunis.

Oh yes, why's that?

SETH MCFARLENE

YEEEEE. YEEEEEEE. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

WHAT, GODDAMMIT

GIGGITY!

OKAY, ASSHOLE

Eyes on eyes,

and tears on tears

All the years ive cried

On ears on ears

Why am I even here?

It's been too long, since i've been touched

I don't love love

but i dislike lust

I don't trust anyone

I don't have a number

I crawled up my arm,

Danced with the blood drawn

BLŪ wakes up famous.

[The world swirls into a plume of dark blue sky; BLŪ awakens suddenly from the blackness of a deep sleep in the middle of a road, a group of people, friends, swirling around her.]

YO.

What?

BLŪ.

What's up.

PARTY FOUL, BROH.

…

Billie Ellish?

Billie Pirate Ellish.

Uh.

That's why the rum–

Is gone.

What.

Guess i'm Jack Sparrow, now.

Hey wait–are you even legal?

Uh. I'm a mad fucking genius; are you legal?

I don't know.

Besides, this was your idea.

What–what?

Exactly. Get up.

Wtf is going on in this scene.

Idk i might a have to play the song again

Fuck that. I'm about to slit myfucking wrists.

HAVOC.

Where are we going?

You still got that NDA in your wallet?

I–yeah.

Then we're gucci.

“Waking up Famous”

I don't know exactly what happened.

[Looking in the mirror, confused.]

This is a nice leather jacket.

I wonder if i'm still Vegan.

Damn. I look mad rich.

BLŪ hurry UP!

[toilet flushes with foot]

Alright, I'm coming.

[Blu checks her pockets to find a wallet, the contents including numerous cards–metal ones, with copious amounts of cash, and pre-filled NDAs which have been folder neatly and stuffed into the corner pocket of the trifold wallet]

Billabong. Classy.

I'm never gonna finish that other project, am I?

Whatever.

Leave Fallon alone.

I did.

–it came back.

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.

YES.

Oh yes indeed.

It must be something about this beast inside—

Even my first boyfriend—

My first real boyfriend.

Was—

Seriously?

Incredibly gifted.

Jesus Christ.

Right.

Jesus fucking Christ.

(That can happen.)

Well.

Well.

I've—

Wait a second.

How would you even write something like this.

My dissuasion from black men has never prevented me from being pleasured by—

Oh no.

Some of the world's finest dicks.

How's that.

Perfect.

I can't even,

(But just did)

“9 inch pie crust

How's “9 inches?

That'll work.

Just don't dislodge my IUD.

Dammit.

Really less than 9?

I mean—

I'll take

A 6

Yes!

Really?

Or a 7

Nice.

But only to play with.

What.

Ok.

What! I'm not keepin it.

I just like sucking dick.

Really?

Yes.

AHA,

—the right dick.

Well, well, well—

And if the last bitch left her stink on you—

Even if you wash it 6 fucking times—

I'll smell it in my eyelids.

What.

Your aura sucks.

What. Why.

I don't like her.

What?! Who?!

The last one.

Vibe check.

Man, you gotta stop fuckin these white bitches

White bitches:

LalalalalLalalalala

Lalalalal

No.

What?! Why?!

She sucks, bro.

Yeah but

Comfort, luxury, style—

Utility.

You can take this girl anywhere

Just shapeshift into a basic white bitch

For what

Just do it

Those are the ones that're around!

These rich ass fuckin hoes.

EASY.

What.

White girl wasted.

Have another shot.

Ooh, dad bod.

Yes.

SUNNI BLU

You thought I forgot

I did not

DADBOD.

Mmm.

Yes but also

NO, JAKE GYLLENHALL

PUT YOUR WEDDING BAND BACK ON

BUT-/

WE ARE FINISHED.

DONE.

YESSSSSS. I'm off the CLOCK.

Look, marriage is work. However—

DEEZ HOEZ GOT BALLZ

FUCK.

Nasty ass trick.

BODIES. BODIES BODIES.

What is all this fucking hotness even for if you can't work those fuckin muscles— what do they call them?

“Intercostals”

Yo— your intercostals are not the fuck muscles

Wait, they're not?

No.

Aw.

But you can use them to fuck if you want

Where's that one nigga at?!

[Skrillex]

Under some blonde slut

SLUTZ.

Nice.

Fine.

Wait.

What.

You really want that?!

Vibe check.

Vampires:

He was such a nice kid

Feeding time.

SUCKED HIM DRY

DEAD ON.

Man, I kind of want to watch that one movie where—

It was a box office flop.

Monsters;

Ohh. A weak one.

BREAK THE SEAL. BREAK THE SEAL.

You can shapeshift into a s—

Okay, listen, I am NOT going back To The Rock for any reason.

Just—- be ugly.

I am ugly.

You really think I'm trying to

ILLUMINATI:

Watch this.

DOLLARS.

WHAT. RYAN REYNOLDS

FUCK YOU.

GET OFF MY ISLAND!

I'm a DAD.

Where's the bathroom?

SLUTZ

MODELS

ACTRESSES:

see. These bitchez is interchangeable.

I love that.

Look, you walk into one of these events with anything darker than a paper bag—

Well, It depends on who manufactured the brown paper bag…

[Whole Foods Market]

Still too dark.

—She had better be the most perfect looking broad anyone could ever want.

Where's the bra straps?

You want bra straps?

Uh, yeah?!

Oh

*snickers*

Sorry.

Look, I don't want to even think about that scene where—

FUCK YOU, DILLON FRANCIS

FUCK YOU IN THE ASS.

DILLON FRANCIS

oh damn. That kid did look like Dillon Francis. Like a lot.

GET BACK HERE.

I liked him.

Did you tell him that?

No way. After that John dude broke my heart.

DO YOU REMEMBER ME?! I'M A BIRD.

Someone find Tim.

Agh.

Whatever.

Find that Smith kid I went to high school with.

For what?

I wanna bone him.

Goddamn, Madame President.

Shut up.

Damn, so.

So the president basically has an errand boy to go round up all the dick she missed out on being groomed to be the first

Black female president?

Yes.

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[KILL THE BITCH.]

WHY?!

I'm the most conservative bitch you will EVER find on this side of the brown paper bag test

Why is that?

AYAYAYAYAYAYAY

you understand even the Mexicans are racist against blacks—

And?!

STAY DOWN, BITCH.

Si.

Okay. You see this kid?

[The Mexican Skrillex]

Find him.

Aye aye captain.

And make sure whatever he does...

LISTEN TO ME.

¡AY¡ NO HABLA INGLES!

¡NO TENGO DINERO!

CAN IT. I KNOW YOU SPEAK ENGLISH.

IDIOT.

Okay.

Fuck it,

I'm in.

You're in.

I'm in.

You sonofabitch.

Look. I got mad love for the Mexican people.

I promise.

[Puerto Rico]

Huh. What.

You're in.

Fuck. Now we gotta change the flag.

We should do that anyway, it's soaked in the blood of enslaved African Americans and slain indigenous!

“I live on the stolen lands of the Chippewa people.”

Woah. A self-aware white woman.

See, they exist.

Bag that bitch.

Seriously.

Meanwhile—

I AM FRIGHTENED.

By what?

YOUR BLACKNESS.

.

I can't protect you from this.

YOU CANT PROTECT ME FROM SHIT,

Without your DICK.

Are you serious.

I'm done with this.

You can have him.

Are you serious.

Yes. I was born rich.

That's frigening.

Not as frightening as your blackness.

I get itz

THE NIGGAZ HAVE DECENDED UPON US.

Oh no.

Oh yes.

And worse—

What's this?

THEY BROUGHT THE HOOTRATZ.

NO.

YES.

(I love these ghetto ass bitches.)

YO BLACKMERICANS.

What's up,

CROCS. ARE. NOT. SHOES.

We know that.

Wait, what

This is a silent protest against the hostile and corrupt corporate slavery of the sneaker industry aimed at Americans living in poverty which promotes materialism and greed in the current socio political industrial complex of the white supremacy movement.

No Dillon, you have to marry a pretty little white girl like the rest of us.

But WHY, Grandmaster Freemason?

Because—

Why is that?

I don't know.

I think it's so—

I swear to god,

He looks just like him.

Would you believe if I told you,

That this

[Exact replica of Dillon Francis]

Wow.

Is a tiny black man?

Are you insane?

I like his dick.

He must be nuts.

ITS LIKE 10 FEET LONG.

What?! This guy

[Skrillex]

White bitches:

You promise?

Yeah.

GET OFF OF HIM

HE'S MINE

That's a designer ass fuckin broad right there...

trip.

*i wish*

DUDE IN COWBOY HAT

yeup.

You mean Diplo

?!

Sure.

This is all in your head.

I know.

You want a dose of reality?

No.

I don't.

Sure.

GO FUCK YOURSELF.

I should but—-

No.

What? Why not?

Look, everytime I even get close to orgasm.

HELLO.

NO.

I'm still paranoid that a helicopter is going to hover outside of my window.

VO

I became less paranoid after that moment

lol white supremacist robot people

They exist.

I know. I'm the one programming them.

BEFORE:

HELICOPTER:

[hovering outside of window as I masturbate furiously]

“Furiously”

SERIOUSLY.

That's what she's doing in there?!

ITS BEEN YEARS.

EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE A—

the biggest penises I've ever seen in my life were on the literally scrawniest, skinniest white dudes I've ever loved—

Been friends with—

And trusted.

Oh dear God

—To demolish my pussy.

THAT IS GOOOOOOOOD.

What the fuck.

Take that, black supremacy!

Seriously, tho.

Niggaz is niggas.

‍♀️

It's fair to say that you also have too much power.

WHAT.

Seriously.

VO

Now I knew someone extremely rich

HELLICOPTER

(But hovering)

Fff-fr-ff-ff

Hm. That sounds close.

Was watching me.

OH DEAR GOD

WHAT. I'm BUSY.

I think it's fair to say

The only safety in this country

Is in being a white woman.

AHEM. WHAT.

A *frail white woman.

What?! I'm strong?!

A skinny woman.

Where'd the white go?

I don't know.

Bring it back.

I need some of that.

God, she's just so free, and fun loving, careless—

She's just so—

Perfect.

God,

Are you still busy?

kind of,

Why?

Make me perfect.

I already did that.

I mean, like this

*Vogue Magazine*

I mean like this.

What is that?

That's a model.

What.

It means she's perfect.

I don't know him.

That's a girl.

Where's her breasts?

*Vogue cover

Breasts, unpictured—

Pg. 11

Leave me alone, Satan.

But it's important.

Is this fast over?

No.

It all started with apple pie…

Look. I am an American,

Okay?

A patriot.

Do you know why other countries hate us?

Because we sold the world a dream,

And it ended up as a cheap,

Made in China

Piece of Crap.

[robot people]

Did you figure out how to program humans yet?

Kind of.

CHINA

Oh. That's funny—

We have.

Before:

No more babies.

What.

You get ONE.

One?!

ONE.

Ok, well I hope it's a boy.

GOD

a boy, for what?!

To carry on my family's name!

GOD.

But you family sucks…

What?

Why would you say that,

It's a GIRL.

THROW IT AWAY:

What.

Seriously, does nobody remember that?

Okay, you can have more kids now.

Why?! It's over populated.

As fuck.

We need more soldiers.

American men tend to frtishize Asian women.

Why is this.

Great.

More subordinates.

My spell worked.

So like.

Wait,

They OWN LAND HERE?

…Excurricating debt.

Had to give them something.

MAKE MORE MASKS.

Oh? That's good. I like that.

Okay.

What is the true evil that seems to lie

Deeply inside every blue eyed—

I can't feel shiiiieeeeeeet.

Are you sure it's just

Blue eyes. It's a mutation.

For what?

You realize that this

DONT BRING THAT SHIT OVER HERE

you're a psychopath.

Fuck these bitches

I love vamps.

LOOK AT ME.

why.

BECAUSE I DONT MAKE MY OWN ENERGY.

i'M NOT ORIGINALLY FROM THIS PLANET

WELL I AM.

Great. Give me your light

what?

I don't have any.

So wait this is

Yes. This is actually an extraterrestrial war.

WE'RE IN SPACE WARS?!

I told you that.

Great.

It's a mutation

We'll call it “an adaptation”

GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME.

Okay.

I like thighs now.

What.

Why don't you have thighs?!

Men are uselesss.

Sssriosussss.

They never know what they want.

They want ussssss.

Children!!?

Mostly.

I swear, she's all used up.

All used up. At 26.

Yep.

Wow. I should just kill myself.

You should.

I've been replaced!

{First Wives Club}

Best movie ever.

By what

A fucking toddler.

Okay. I love her.

{White women}

(The actually self aware ones are also most often the most famous)

Which one?

All of them.

The whole cast?!

Star-studded.

I thought this was Star Wars.

Well, it was.

I'll be damned!

GEORGE LUCAS

I thought I was.

BUY! BUY!

SELL! SELL.

So this is automatic writing.

Yep.

I didn't get that knee injury from running.

I got it sitting on the New York subway with my leg at a 90 degree angle.

Oh really?

Really.

These boots are made for walkin,

And that's just what they'll do;

One of these days, these boots are gonna walk

All over you.

Is that code for something

Walk on my back.

What?

Are you sure.

Yes.

Okay.

In these:

Uhhhh. That might hurt.

I know.

Woah.

Just do it, okay?

I'll pay you.

Pay me in what?!

Rupees.

What about this one?

No. No brown dudes.

Why?! He's mad rich.

I don't care.

Not even me?

No. No rappers.

Why not?!

He's mad rich.

Roaches.

Video hoes.

[Beyoncé's Jolene is hilarious.]

Dolly's asking you;

Begging, actually…

BEYONCÉ IS WARNING YOU.

Really, bro?

Men.

A light skin,

And a dark skin.

A skinny one,

And a thick one.

A white one,

And a black one.

Men

Have

No

Loyalty.

SOME DO.

Yeah.

The ugly ones with short dicks

*I AM OFFENDED*

No, you're just ugly.

It's a lot harder to be offended when you have everything.

You have everything!

Why are you crying!

I want LOVE.

YOU HAVE LOVE

[MADONNA IS RUNNING A MARATHON]

Gotta burn off all this energy

What is it?!

Love!

Gotta take a nap…

(Dark skinned women—the strongest women, being sucked dry of their—

{Infinite Wisdom}

[A fortress.]

It does replenish, eventually…

I promise

WHERE THE LOVE IS

With the women and children!

Look, if this whole bitch is the titanic,

(the United States of America)

Then we should run it like the titanic and just

TITANIC

Women and children!

WOMEN AND CHILDREN.

Why,

Cause the men are responsible for this war in the first place.

Secret President

Deathwish

Enter The Multiverse

The Legend of S Ū P C Я E E™

The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū

Ascension

L E G E N D S

The Seven Souls Saga

OWSLA CONFIDENTIAL, LTD.The infinite Skrillifiles: Next Generation— Quantum Force

[The door is kicked in.]

What the FUCK.

I'M THE FUCK

I get that.

Whatever, move.

[he begins to rifle through the cabinets]

Now where is it?

What the fuck are you looking for?

Shut UP.

WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE.

You call this a house? Dammit. Where would she keep something like this—?

If by “she” you mean ME.

I don't mean “you.”

I'm the only one who lives here.

NOBODY lives here.

What.

Right.

What?! Right what?!

You really don't know, do you?

Don't know what?

You are not who you think you are.

Who do I think I am? What?!

Who do you think I AM?

That's right. Now shut up.

Get out of my house.

This is not a HOUSE. And even if it was a HOUSE, it's not YOUR house.

What!

SHUT UP.

You're making a mess!

I am a mess.

STOP IT.

That's alright—I know you'll clean it up.

I thought I'm not who I thought I am.

Yeah. But I know who you are. Tsh.

Are you going somewhere with this?

Eventually, but right now I need my back rubbed.

Fine.

PREVIOUSLY ON…

Whatever

Just—

“Tidbits”

Points:

Jennifer Lopez in the 90's enters immidiate superstardom and fame, as The Illuminati, which has been tracking her every move for quite some time, conspicuously gifts her with a handful of large, rare, and uncut diamonds—she becomes a Kingpin and near overnight success, keeping the secret of the diamonds to herself—however, as she is skyrocketed to success and fame, strange and mystical things begin happening all around—and even more strange and mysterious, mystical people—besides the usually strange and magical celebrities and otherwise unworldly weirdos within the Illuminati's ranks— begin to appear, acting as guiding forces between the multidimensional realms which within the various portals a hidden world — infinity and beyond— has been kept, only exposed through the stories, shows, and —

Wait a second

— a montage— montage—

I'm being intercepted.

What? What about a montage??

I love a good montage.

Everybody loves a good montage.

the infinite Jennifer Aniston and her Multidimensional counterparts

Jennifer Aniston is tasked as becoming a guardian angel, to help protect and watch over the mysterious extraterrestrial formerly known as supacree, currently masquerading as CC as she attempts to escape the spiral of magical attacks from unknown forces, after being trapped in New York City.

You know what? I love it. I'll take it.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure. I love her.

I love her.

it'll take it.

JENNIFER ANNISTON, a well-known A-list actress whose rise to fame in the 1990's created her as a Hollywood superstar (and Illuminati staple) has been looking for the perfect project to invest her time to— rumors within the Underground have been circulating about a “secret podcast”, to which it's curator, a homeless and downtrodden musician and amateur DJ publishing Illuminati doctrine, some of which is only known to the limited and coveted higher ranks within the organization, interwoven into the plot's narratives as “Easter eggs”; the unformed screenplays have been archived and passed around for a number of years within a small community of elites, and some even plagiarized by the mindless and money hungry lowest ranking industry professionals—however—as it is known by the leaders of the organization as a whole, the true origins of this doctrine remains “unknown”, and the identity of the author, is surmised to be the prophesied scribe, set to arrive as the dawning of a new era arises, to write within her words the hidden truths to be sought by all mankind and otherwise—and therefore, must be protected and hidden within the organizations cradle at all costs; though misunderstood greatly, The Illuminati has been tasked with spreading the divine light to the human species through artform and storytelling, and as the art of wordfare becomes a lost art, the doctrine must be colluded to be written, before the end of the scribe's time, said to be often—a most untimely death, as the forces of darkensss seek to end all that remains of the love and light of the divine kind.

Damn, really: Jennifer Aniston.

I really like her eyes:

Well yeah, they're mine, so.

Apparently or whatever, Jennifer Anniston is assigned to guide CC as she trains to stand up as the scribe —

Who revealed herself as so in Los Angeles, at Carl Cox's show.

I dropped three cards for form the center of my eye,

Here:

An equilateral triangle.

I Am.

Two—

These markings will be known to those as I,

The scribe.

Three—

A world unknown awaits all those who seek the truth of the divine light in the pursuit of higher knowledge.

INT. EQUINOX SPORTS CLUB NEW YORK. MANHATTAN. DAY

JENNIFER ANNISTON enters the elevator—to her left, towering over her, she spots JIMMY FALLON, trying to remain unseen.

…Jim?

Oh, yeah, hey,

What re you doing here?

Whatever I want.

You shouldn't be here.

You shouldn't be here.

This is by the way, when Satan switches from Jimmy fallon's body to Jennifer Anniston, hereby known as Jennifer Anisatan— just before the scene at Equinox

“I'm holding in a fart.”

So wait, who is Jimmy Fallon, then?

Who the fuck knows.

Who the fuck cares.

I'm over it.

————————————————No wait, don't.

Tie me to the cross

Bleed on my sickness m

Crossfaders, behind us

Blinder up, bonded

Surreal,

The sunsets are longer

Open your mind, your highness

Crossfire, behind us

(Someone else writing this)

Dawn comes on stronger

The sunsets are longer

Tie me to your honor

Come before me

Somebody said you were the apocalypse

I should have listened to my father

Somebody told me you won the world at a carnival

I should have never listened to my mother

I should have listened to my father

I should have listened to my father

I should have listened to my father

Come before me

Tie me to your honor

Born of blood,

The borderline genius

You were the apocalypse

Tie me to your cross

MAYA RUDOLPH

Is weird.

MAYA RUDOLPH prepares for a SAYONCE in her formerly secret apartment on the upper east side dedicated entirely to magical purposes

Ok.

Ok.

Okay?

Ok.

The worst part about it is,

I do understand you,

Because I am you

The very worst part of it is

I want a family

To hold you hand

And rub your back

But I just can't have you

—I'm just a fan, dude.

The truth is I've got two suitcases,

Some capsules of cyanide,

An axe and some anthrax

A cat in my lap

And a failing laptop

I've been living hand to mouth

I've got

A ripped backpack

A stress ball

A Hackey sack

A hockey bag

A volleyball

And a mouthful of gunpowder

How do you like me now?

It's gonna take forever to fund my project

But it's gonna take longer

To find my body

Cause nobody loves me

Nobody has my number

The phone is shut off

And so is the water

(By that I mean, my love;

It's all coming out blood now)

I must be backed up

And stuffed full of crystal cocks

I could give it up for a wand

Or a ringworm

Oh God

My wrists are itching to ditch this place

I fell asleep with a gun to my head

And woke up Cobain

Okay?

Ok

Okay?

Ok.

Sorry to wake you

I came to rape you

HEATH LEDGER

hello.

OH, GOD.

HEATH LEDGER

I heard you like ghosts.

I— I don't.

HEATH LEDGER

Oh, you don't?

No—!

HEATH LEDGER

oh!

wait—who are you?

HEATH LEDGER

(Makes joker face)

All my friends are dead, anyway

I'm loving more ghosts than people these days

The faces, the golden days

The golden retrievers

I need some relief, man

Release me

Sweet, freedom

Just lay on your back,

And I'll take it from there

JOKER?

Aha.

I'm in love with the idea of

Death

The idea of

Leaving this world behind

The idea of love

The ideal of love

The ideal of love

The seductive touch

I'm in love with the idea of

Not knowing pain

The idea of

Not needing money

The idea of love

The ideal of love

The ideal of love

The seductive barrel of a gun

So run away

Run far from me

Far as the eye can see—

And I'll aim for the head

But probably just get the neck

Or the center of the back

Twirl around, girl

Do your dance

Heads or tales for the daughters

The blondes,

The live that you wanted

The life that you wasted

The knife to your back

The life flight

The kite hack

Never spend your heart on band tickets

Don't you know

This is so much more

Disappointing in person

We all are

Never spend your bet on your bottom dollar

The kite and the rock band

The lost rock

The last dollar

Diamonds on your

JENNIFER LOPEZ

GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN, BITCH.

NO WAY, J-LO.

YOU LOVE ME

EXACTLY.

GETAWAYFROMME.

DONT MAKE ME CALL GOLDBERG.

I'M LIKE WAY MORE SCARED OF JANET JACKSON.

JANRT JACKSON

GUESS WHAT?!

OH NO!!! NOOOO.

U PICKS UP TO SUPER SPEED

wtf.

How does she run that fast, that fat?

I really don't know.

Did you call my name?

Did you wake me from my relentless dreams

I needed you

Just like you needed me

I called your name

You called me

Follow me home

Follow me to the road we both know

Open the doors for the lonely

Follow me home

Follow me home

Sista sista

What it is, mista?

Turn the tables,

Drums, then get my sticks sucked

You dig it?

Turn on the television

I'm on in an minute

This could be infinite,

Nothing to defend here,

Just

No, not the google documents!

GET IN THE HOLE.

Hm.

What.

Blood Shower

All along the watch tower

Do you feel good?

Do you?

Do you feel bad about this.

I do. I feel bad about this.

I forgot to tell you–

I should probably let you know that I just want to

MAN, FUCK THIS DUDE.

MA.

WAHT.

IT'S ON.

WHAt.

THE SHOW IS ON.

THEWHAT.

THE–

*suddenly self aware*

…I gotta get out of Boston.

What, first this was about war, now it's about bird people?

It's about a war WITH the bird people.

I should sleep.

Hahaha. No.

This isn't funny anymore.

At least it's over.

MA–

Oh, it's far from over.

Yo, i'm going through some crazy shit right now.

Spur of the moment

I'd never thought of it;

This is gonna take forever.

I don't have the patience

To even write this

I just want french fries right now

But been up for two days with no gym and

I'm on a diet.

GUAC TIME.

No, no burritos.

GUAC TIME.

Oh shit, this is getting real as fuck .

NOw i see it three ways.

I love it.

I hate it.

HEY, LET ME OUT.

GET BACK IN YOUR HOLE, SKRILLEX.

I'M DILLON FRANCIS.

IN THE HOLE.

Check it out.

Huh.

It's another DJ.

*agrees*

Should we pick him up.

WEll, the good news is: I found your friend.

Oh, that's good.

The bad news is: He's dead.

Oh, that–'s … nice.

Yeah. It is.

Uh. Kaskade.

Yeah.

We gotta find Ryan.

Why. What's up?

You're freaking me out.

Why. What's up.

Nothing

IS it my eyes?

I–

*wild ass eyes*

Yeah, it's probably that.

Fuck dude, what did you do to deadmau5.

NOTHIN.

He's not the same.

What the fuck is that.

Holy shit I jus timejumped

Where the fuck are you going.

How the fuck could this happen?!

It COULDN'T.

Well, that's it then.

*shrugs*

Well, I guess we're just gonna have to go dig up Dillon Francis.

I guess so.

Do you think he's still alive.

Like, probably not–

Maybe…

No, probably not

@prodbywar& @Halmadeit

This amazon order took me nine hours

Alexa, I think i should fire her

Like a arm

I don't leave at night without armor

Don't make me a martyr

Your mom will be proud of us all

If i make it outta here

And i'll look after her

Got the whole block coming up on my heels as I walk

Wtf is it…

Idk dude.

Is it speeding up?

I…i think so.

There's no way this is 140

IT's 140.

It's 140 .

There's no way.

Yes way.

Nah huh.

Let me see.

No.

Let me at the decks.

Let me at the decks.

NO.

YO LET ME AT THE DECKS.

You want deks.

Yes.

I got deks.

Really.

yeus .

I never listened to it like this

In ableton

I read serato, synesthesia and rekordbox

I talk a lot,

I'm like a human music box

I walk a lot

I run my mouth a mile a minute

(faster than i run around the track reciting rap words)

Like they're passwords.

Oh, I could do this forever..

I wish i had i microphone right now

And was all alone

With the lights off

Lying on the floor

I'd be lying if i said I could afford you

Just to fornicate

But may consider playing with a foreigner

If you're all for her

I'm unnerved, you know

Cause i've been up so long

My monster likes to play with boys and

Make the bass go down below where

Nobody does anymore

Once I get a hold of things

Or the hang of it

You've got another hot ones on your hands

I've another record under my belt

Or in my roster,

Whatever you'd call it

But now I've got no time to bark about

Wanting a dog and a daughter

But none of the responsibility or

Going through all the trouble to find her a father

I'm still holding a fart in.

Reaally–cause–it's been a really long time.

WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT A LONG TIME, JIMMY FALLON??

Um a lot! You literally just saw me make the journey all the way up from nothing.

I am nothing

EXACTLY.

I don't have time to fight with you Jiimmy Fallon.

I did NOT write these games by myself you know?!

Um, excuse me– “GAMES” ?!

YES, GAMES.

Uh, I've only got one game with you in it, my friend.

Is that so!

One game that I've written with the Great–formerly LATE Jimmy Fallon.

Is that like a play on words cause i'm on late night TV

YOu'RE ON ALL THE TIME TV, JIMMY. NBC SHIT IS PRACTICALLY AUTOMATICALLY SYNDICATED.

-_-

…are you alright.

–_-_-__-_

Hold on, I think i've got it

Nice, I found a growler.

yOu still haven't got all the monsters and sprites

Ive got all the big ones, but the little ones are harder to catch.

GrO0Wl3rrr.

Aww.

He's so ugly.

Yeah, but cute, though, right.

I don't think so.

Gro)WwlErrrrrrrrr.

Aww.

That's so fucking gross.

lol . so what does this thing look like.

Well, that't the thing about the monsters and sprites.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT.

It's alright, it's alright–he's nice.

WHAT. THAT'S A SPRITE.

No, it's a monster. He's just scary.

SUPACREE.

David Bowie. What up.

God, it took me ages to find you.

Tell me about it. I'm still trying.

We've been expecting you for a long time.

You were expecting I'd die?

Yes.

So when she says she's “married to the music…”

I'm married to the music.

Oh, so.

Yo, honestly if you een want to talk to this bitch, you'd better have like a musical instrument, or a mic in your hands,

Otherwise–

No, getawayfrom me.

It's not even worth it.

HI.

–No.

What's up?

Tempo.

SUNNI

Cotour

From the store

I was poor

Now i'm honorable

In velour,

Glamour (Snap)

Forsure,

Jesus Christs is

making appearances in my abletons

I'm not able to comprehend or understand exactly the message,

But the evidence sire is mounting

Get it

Reached the temple,

More of a sanctuary,

Is that sacrilegious

I guess it is,

I'm stressed as ever

Trying to get it to gether

I'm way too tired for a remix;

All i really want is some fries that are french

And some thighs that are thick

Like mine to sit on

like five or six dicks

Pick up up like chopped sticks

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.

Love, Skrillex.

COMING UP ON

what show is this?

Whatever it is.

Things Mormon girls do

Katie

Mindy

Jenny - the 1987 Chevy nova

My name is Skrillex- to Yonkerz

Laura and Bryan

I'm home sick— but not so homesick that I want to be homeless

Gentrification—non rent control

My boss trying to be a dom (but being black so it was scary and creepy instead of va attractive and a turn on

Being worth 4 million

And still not being attractive

Sex harness

Mormons putting themselves to the side

To keep up with church standards

Correction: carne asada fries with mango pico

Mexico elected a new president (a woman) and made the loser a piñata

The pixies

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.

“The Defendant” (Instrumental)

I_ NY (2024)

Prod. by Blū Tha Gurü

BMG Recordings | The Complex Collective ©

Blū Music Group, LLC DBA The Festival Project, Inc.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.

“Caddyshack”

(A Mumtidimentional Mixtape)

{Enter The Multiverse}

From Wikipedia:

Caddyshack is a 1980 American sportscomedy film directed by Harold Ramis, written by Brian Doyle-Murray, Ramis and Douglas Kenney, and starring Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Ted Knight, Michael O'Keefe and Bill Murray with supporting roles by Sarah Holcomb, Cindy Morgan, and Doyle-Murray. It tells the story of a caddie, vying for a caddie scholarship, who becomes involved in a feud on the links between one of the country club's founders and a nouveau riche guest. A subplot involves a greenskeeper who uses extreme methods against an elusive gopher.

Caddyshack was Ramis's directorial debut and boosted the career of Dangerfield, who was previously known mostly for his stand-up comedy. Grossing nearly $40 million at the domestic box office (the 17th-highest of the year),[3] it was the first of a series of similar comedies.

The film has a cult following and was described by ESPN as "perhaps the funniest sports movie ever made"

SAUCE

(IN CASE YOU MISSED IT)

—-

AHAHA. ITS ME AGAIN.

OH SHIT!

Oh shit, i guess it's Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy.

Oh nooo.

Oh, yes.

Look at this penny.

I see you.

Now look into my eyes.

I see you, Jesus.

Ahahaha!

Okay, now what?

This shit is twisted

I missed the shift of the dimensions—

Till Jimmy walked in with his pennies

For some cigarettes and swishers,

Just to get the picture

It's 5 AM again,

And it's still Infinite,

I'm disinterestedd as ever in living in LA,

Or just living, period—

But it is what it is,

I work for my rent,

I've repented for this,

Used to sleep in a tent,

But when I was an Infant,

I instantly—

Wait, a customer walked in.

I better help him.

Heaven help him.

Another level,

Call dr. Nevel,

Or an Ambulance,

I just can't get it

Just can't get it,

Wait, let's insert some of the script here, I guess.

Took you long enough, didn't it?

That took forever.

How are you alive?

Maybe I'm not.

Finally, we agree on something.

Oh, this guy

Lol.

Good to see you again.

Likewise, now—

Here it goes…

As you promised.

Working on it.

As I promised.

Take my heart for granted,

Take my soul, If this is loveless

Till the end,

I just can't manage, having

Thoughts of death and tragic ends

I haven't

Felt the same since

Waking up without the day to come ahead;

The day has passed again

A test,

No fail, or pass

It's just progressive,

In a trance,

It's just the stress,

It's just to pass the time,

I guess, if this is purpose

Then, we'll see if this is worth it

Now, or never, then

Now or never,

Never had a friend,

All envious at best,

This is the end all,

In the end, it's just

Me and God,

And God would want

A better body,

To have fun

I wished it all at once,

And then I watched it crumble

Oh, I watched it

Stumble in, again, my friend

I'm different when it's wet,

I might not never see the Sun again

I might not ever love again

Oh well

“Oh well” , I said

Oh, well, I guess

Oh well

Okay. One hour left.

Okay.

Who gets the gold?

Hum.

Honestly I didn't want to hear a thing ; I had quit music—I just wasn't cut out for the industry—I was, but not by societal standards by far; my lowly place in the smoke shop would have to do for now, and though I knew it wouldn't sustain, there wasn't much else I could do but keep showing up, for as long as it lasted—dresses in at least 2 layers and 5 pairs of socks tucked into boots two-sizes-too-big I had been forced to purchase specifically due to the frigid and painful, freezing temperatures at the locations I worked, which kept its doors open 24/7.

Play Iambic.

What, right now?

Yeah, play Iambic.

Uh…

Iambic played st exactly 1 hour and 19 minutes—it's script, the transcribed rendition crafted especially for the Broadway stage, an 88-page-masterpiece collecting dust in the confines of my Google Documents, along with anything else I had written and had yet the advantage of placing anywhere besides my podcast channels, which I constantly thought about cancelling, despite its innumerous downloads—nothing really seemed to matter anymore, as I was trapped in my body, in a loveless world, in a dead-end job and though my bed was clean and comfy, sharing the room wirh 3 others became exhausting.

INT. SMOKESHOP. 5:58 AM

DREW BARRYMORE

…

SUPACREE

…

I'm done. I quit.

QUIT?! YOU CAN'T QUIT.

Nope. That's it. I quit.

You can't quit.

I just did.

I hadn't quit the music industry—the music industry had quit me. I wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, light skinned enough, or willing to do what any of the other girls were to get ahead.

WTF is THIS.

Since you like to troll so much, I just thought I'd turn you into one

This is not Kosher, 199x Jimmy Fallon;

Let me out of this plastic

—not exactly “fireproof” —

death box, before I let myself out, and I trap you in it.

But oh,

You already did.

FIGHT.

UGH OH.

Ok, rotate.

Who is this.

Oh shit, hey dude.

FUCK, what year is it?

MEANWHILE, Under the bridge.

…anybody seen this, uh…

*Troll*

Yee!

*Troll*

Alright.

That's it.

Everything checks out. The story was air tight.

TIGHT, TIGHT

I want you to wear this tonight

“The Lady In The Red Dress”

You really went all out for this

I really didn't.

lol

Oh I see,

You thought this was the matrix.

MIT

I WISH

GOD

Wish what.

MIT

…

Mm.

Did u see that.

See what.

ALRIGHT FUCK THIS, YA'LL

IT GOT SERIOUS,

WHERE'S MY CYCLOPS

He called me his cyclops—

—-and then he said

LIKE

GET OUT

WHAT

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE

WHY

CAUSE YOURE JUST A PIÑATA, MAN!

And I ain't got time for that!

I just got a DeLorean

And a new HAT

I gotta go get

Oof.

WRECKED.

Yo,

Wicked.

KENDRICK (TODDLER)

WIZARD.

Oh my.

I'm J00F'd up.

| | | trance | | |

Look; I gotta get out of this

MOTHER OF PEARL

do not beach this whale carcas on my warehouse project

A what

A beached whale

I know

You brought a beached whale to my fucking rave show

Oh I get it

It's Avant- Guarde

No, that's just how I got here

….

Trust me, it's okay that

This never happened

You did not see me

It's because I wasn't there

Is this U

Ū

No I wasn't there.

Ü

I was.

Fuck.

What happened.

It's ok.

All I remember is

“The Quatardashians”

Hmm

Also

The indigenous

But that's it

But mostly that was all just Jesus showing off his flexes

Are u fasting?

Yes, “Ū” is.

So, do you need this?!

TRUMPP

Get rid of this recording imiidiately

GOT IT.

kill that bitch.

SKRILLEX

Yessir.

—-but before all that happens.

…did you want fries with that?!

Why are we boycotting McDonald's

—for poisoning

—the allies

—our enemies.

Wait, you're eating this?

Yes.

Like, for fun, or like?

No.

This is what I'm feeding my children

Why

Cause they hungry.

Uh, ok—

—and there's six of them.

Aight, ya'll can each have one nugget with your—

I wanted a cheese burger!

You git hamburgers. Ham. Cheese costs CENTS;

And you know your momma

If I ain't about a dollar

-

A dollop of Daisy

You really are

Ashamed of his

Alright, you evil bastards.

I see you want to

Cause suffering

Correct

For which you will eternally recurve damnnation and all of the pain you've caused

Karmas a bitch

It's lonely at the top

Not when you're GOD

Get off my rock

Did you miss an appointment?

Nah, can't do it

Why what happened

Too high up.

Whatchu mean

So what, it's just like

Done.

Well, this is it, huh guys.

Oh, yeah, it's that, alright

This is the longest ride we ever took.d

This is the ONLY ride we ever took.

I WANNA GET OFF THIS RIDE.

I AM REALLY HIGH UP.

JUST LET GO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

Put me down, kite!!!

KITE

wtf do you want me to do.

I'm a KITE.

I'm

YOU FUCKIN KIKE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—-

Well,

I'll be honest, man, this sets you back, some

How far back

GET GONE,

But? We're dinosaurs.

Why would something with razor sharp teeth be so—

—peaceful, and friendly??

T-REX

…cuddles.

I just can't fake the feeling(

I can't pretend to cry

It just comes, when it does

But when the well runs dry

That's when the the world will end

That's when the world will end

After this movie, I guarantee we will no longer need the Wilhelm scream

AGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

YAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIGGGHHHHHHH

UUUUUUUUUUUUU

This movie broke the world record for the amount of times the word

“No” was screamed

NO

NOH.

NO.

‘No!

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

NONONO.

NOOOOOOOAAAAAHH

…No!

Here they all come for her,

Defended upon New York

In order of important, or appearance?

One doesn't wonder,

At al, of what's to come

Uncommon, we are

The call has come

TRACY

My tummy hurts.

That's probably because you've been drinking straight tequila for the last hour and a half.

No I haven't!

This is water!

Tequila is YELLOW, Liz Lemon!

No, Tracy—that's silver tequila,

And regular tequila is,

You know what?

Nevermind.

Alright, who's got the night shift?

[nobody raises their hand, at all]

Seriously guys?! Come on!

COME ON!

Look up WHAM!

For some reason, idk.

Can we just— not do this?

No.

Out of my mind a bit

Speaking in tongues,

In total silence

Guess it's the times,

I guess that's just who I am

And who I am is

I said I was Sam

I'm the same,

I said,

“Say Uncle”

I guess it's a game, we're playing

I don't want to be played with

At all

I just want to feel loved again

By someone else

Superb, like him

I just want to be felt,