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The Madness

It had come on suddenly, almost as if out of nowhere, and…

As I lay bleeding

A fleeting dream,

Or a memory

(Aren't we even?)

I could be just…

Repeating sequences from my memory,

But

‘Seriously, simmer down'

He says

I put the soup on simmer for awhile—

Can't remember where I fell from

Very high up

In love with the

Ideal of

Being in

My own world

With my

Idol or icon?

No,

Role model,

For something,

But that's not possible,

Cause that's not the job

I want,

Turns out

‘God love him'

I called out

‘God love him'

I called out

‘God, love my son'

Cause God does love

God goes love

But—

Something happened to

All of us

I wonder what

I shouldn't have come

To the washroom

So earlier

I could have just

Curled up in a ball

Unhurled a whole wold

I was brought up to

Know nothing of it

If it comes up

If it comes up

—that's abuse you know

The scare tactics of

Weak men

After nothing

Now come back

I woke up with music

And I hold love

If love comes

But God don't love ugly

—Cause ugly men

Scare people

When they can't find

Love

And Love

Becomes ugly

When you beat her up

With

Whatever that noise is;

Boys will be boys

And posers will be posers

I've got a whole bunch of losers on

Bikes at my window

Who like feeling powerful

But actually have no power at all

Other than to cause hurt

That's all they do

Poor souls,

Satan owns them,

You know

I pray for the man to just

Go home,

Be happy

But you know ,

I've been called up before,

Ravaged

Weak men seek revenge

And strong women eat cabbage

On Passover

So what do you know about love

I know

The more that I love

The more love will come to me

So I keep doing this over and over

I know that I love him

That's a four leaf clover

I found him on a 40 day fast

Or longer

The one one the mountaintop

The one

Weak men drive

Art show cars

Just down one road at night

I think I have a stalker

Don't go too far

Don't read too hard into it

Your own story

It just doesn't make sense

To know this stuff

Before it gets disclosed on Wikipedia pages

Don't get too close to the windows these days

When Satan's paging you

And waking them up just to keep hating on you

You must be confused girl

I never would have dated you!

And I hated you on Saturday night

For breaking fourth wall

And being out of character

The other cast members were right

They should have fired you

But viewership from women

Or girls, rather, other obsessives

Of

The [Redacted] fanclub

Had you mad as fuck at the world

And God

Tripping over that rug

Into my dungeon

I should have wrote you off

Like that coughs slut,

But look what happens

When you're a genius with a big butt

And big love, pulling magic tricks

And dick jokes out of a hat—

I have a habit of getting off track

And distracted

Hate being black

But has to have been

To write this canon on

[Redacted],

The has been

—guess you just want

What you can't have

And all I wanted

Is everything

Everyone else seems to already have

A family.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.

Written and Preformed by C'cxell Soleïl.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.

“El Machina Caballero”

Wait, you're married to Catherine Heinowitz?

I was.

Like THE Heinowitz? As in Rebecca Heinowitz?

—Katie Heinowitz!

YES.

Like the guys who made Church Factory!

You're a Sasquatch.

I know.

All the TV people are smaller in person

In one way or another—

Live or behind the scenes

Believe me

The tv people need you

Just as much as

You need your TV

Please believe me

Everything is not what it seems to be

As Seen on TV

[The Tv People Theme Song]

Yes.

What is WRONG with you?

Something.

Marc Shultz?

I fucking guess.

You're Jewish?

If I wasn't before, I am now!

You can't be serious.

All I see

And all I am

Is you and I

Inside The Eye

___

This is mescaline.

Okay.

I take this when I get too—(he spins his finger) spun around, wound up.

I get that.

You want to go with me?

No, but I'll watch over you, at least.

That's all I ask.

Patrick and Esha under the guidance and guise of the eye are best friends, have become bound by blood in such a sacred oath that one does not function without the other, and although moving without restraint or restriction independently, grow magnetically and enigmatically together by force of nature, as we learn to understand that the connection precedes the bond by which the sacred oath has bound them, and also is…

Also is what! Goddamn!

Idk, lost my train of thought.

The irony of irony, is that Patrick tends to get away with his bizarre and off the wire behavior, because he is surrounded by people who love him for his talent and open heart— his downfall often being that the only person who doesn't love Patrick, is himself.

1-888-788-0099.

You know what DNA stands for?

Do not attempt to talk to me when I'm fasting.

I'm not in my body, almost at all.

Trying to get God to talk in English is like,

A task,

Do not attempt.

I don't know what channel you're on.

Ah, the dreads.

The olden ones seem to have known I was coming.

More coffee.

No, no coffee.

Breakfast is—

No,

I need you fasting for this.

For what.

Come on.

That's not my God.

You know what. I know that. Your God is money.

Go back to California!

I WISH, if I could have an apartment like this in California, I would have been gone, however

There is a lot of love in New York.

That's the reason it's still standing up.

When is this?

I don't know.

Couldn't have gone too far back, you know—

I was still at least 3 days in

And three days out,

And completely full of shit,

Which must mean I'm

WHERE'S JIMMY FALLON.

I'm Jimmy Fallon.

No, the REAL Jimmy Fallon.

Go, quickly.

Yes, sire!

You know, I'll scratch your eyes out.

That might take a long time;

I have eyes all over this city.

Uh, line?

Come, ishii, and Quickly.

How did I spell that again?

One way, or another,

All the series are going to collide with all the series,

At some point!

Listen, Emmitt…

Yes.

I'm going to need you to explain this experiment to me.,,very—simply.

It is simple! You know this!

I know this trick!

Follow me.

I need a safety.

I'm oooh, shiny!

Whatever. Come on.

This is FUCKED UP

THIS IS FUCKED UP

THIS IS FUCKED UP

FUCKED UP

TRUMP CITY, USA

Just fucking kill me.

SETH.

Rogen, or Myers?

Both of you.

What?

Really?

Yes.

Okay.

GO,

So you know all this to be true, right?

Yes.

Correct,

So if you know that,

Then you know I'm not the real Jimmy Fallon…

Exactly.

I trusted you!

Trusted me for WHAT.

Not to LOOK.

Look.

No.

Look at me.

NO.

Oh good, the piano bar.

I told you she was gay.

I'm not gay, I'm just.

Please, just one drink with me.

NO, Satan, Jesus.

Okay, Jesus, relax.

Quit saying your own name.

I OWN YOU.

You are my SLAVE.

Okay. That's….

That's not okay!

You killed my boss!

Is this like a 3D thank you card, or something?

He writes my checks!

Did you check his pockets?

Severance pay, maybe.

How many days is this fasting?

I don't know, maybe like

1, 2

Two days? I can do that.

Three hundred and 80

MESSAGES.

Hey, this is—

BEEEEEEP.

Messages erased!

Hey! What the fuck!

You can't have these things, Jimmy!

That's just my stage name!

Listen to me

Was it Connie?! I hope it was Connie!

JUST—SHUT UP.

Come with me.

Why r u following me?!

GARY! GARY! SAVE ME!

Okay, this is strange, but the subtle SpongeBob references in this series

Now make everything crazy.

If I kill myself today, you know, he wins at everything.

Why would I kill myself on my wedding anniversary.

Why would you kill yourself on my birthday.

Cause,

Plus One,

Because, Johnny, I loved you—

And I never told you that.

Actions speak louder than words.

Way, way louder.

This is a class action lawsuit from

96 celebrities.

What are you suing me for?!

Nothing?!

MY CORNBREAD RECIPE?!

SERIOUSLY?!

Who the fuck is driving this thing?

It's not me, actually.

You should ask the conductor—

I'm just having an out of body experience.

Okay, that cop did look like Dillon Francis.

I thought Dillon Francis was Satan.

I thought so too, but then—

NICOLAS?!

AHAHAHAH.

Oh no! He's taken another hostage.

Yep.

Poor thing!

NICKELODEON

WOULD YOU DO THIS.

Uhhhh—- maybe

DOUBLE DARE.

FUCK, MAN!

Okay, whose driving?!

Satan, take the wheel for a second.

Okee.

*instantly crashes*

Instant death!

Instant infinity—

Dammit.

I'm telling you, god is actually winning this thing.

WHERE IS HE?!

Jim, get out of New York City,

Take your family,

Take everything with you.

Okay.

I'm—

Wait WHAT.

What did you just say?!

Nothing,

I'll kill you, you know.

GOOD.

Hello?

This is the Illuminati speaking.

Okay.

Meet me at.

What is this,

I don't know.

The Heineken factory?!

I'll give you $36 dollars, every time you say.

Why are you doing this?

I don't know:

That's right! You don't know!

Are the eyes in yet?

Not yet.

Are the headmasters here?

Almost.

Great. This is going to be a great project—

I CANT DYSFUNCTION.

Don't you mean.

You can't “function “

Well—

Yes, and no—

It's just

MY EYEs!

MY EYES DONT WORK.

But it's amazing, it's almost as if—

You know what.

I like these traits.

I'm keeping them.

NO, LET ME GO.

No, little man.

Stay in the box, like you're supposed to—

Oh and—

NO, DONT SHUT ME—

imm not shutting you off. I'm just turning the volume—doooown..

No, wait—

(But quiet)

Ya. I also wish I was white.

YUCK.

What am I doing like this?

Idk. Kill yourself.

Right? I wish.

BLACK IS BEAUUUUUTIFUL.

Yeah. It is. But—

Look, don't—

Avoid these creatures.

Hey baby!

wtf is he saying.

Idk. I think he speaks English.

Switch to English.

Uhhh, who am I again.

The band made her smile,

But the dancer made her laugh.

She liked the band;

But the dancer made her laugh

The band made her happy,

But the dancer made her laugh

I don't follow a man, unless—

The music, yes.

Follow that.

He's got my heart in his hand

And she's got the world in her eyes

And he's got his hands on my heart

The sermon of sorts,

The rock and the kite

THE FOURTH REIGHT HAS RISEN!

THE SOUTH WILL RIIIIIIIIIIIIZE

OH SHIT, I almost forgot this guy

WILL FERAL.

lol.

That actually happened.

You shouldn't fast like this

City sickness, city sickness

Perhaps you should move to Ohio, dear matron, if all you can say is

Words with hatred

When I loved you in the first place.

Hey, Satan.

But I just couldn't take it

The white devil had his day in my

Spiritual Parisian

The nuptial edits.

The wedding band,

Remote controls and

Architects

Sages and pages of

Architects

Art directors,

Casting agents

And I just can't handle it

I just need managers

Booking,

Writing books

And keeping close tabs

On their dialects

Who dialed you in God

9/11

Who dialed you in on 420

The devil himself

And my mom must have warned them

She warned them with

Fireball

A cannon

Never had a

Catastrophe

You summoned her, didn't you?!

WHO? Which—

My MOM!

No, MAYA, actually no!

You did!

You

I did not

Look, SEYONCE wants you to dance with her.

Dance? I can't.

That is tragic.

He's a GOD, I tell you that!

Did I tell you that?!

Now, fist bump the trash can.

Nah.

Dammit.

Fuck, man.

Yes, I win!

That one scene where Patrick sells all of esha's guitsrs—

You sold all my stuff?!

What is that, anyway?l

Liked”, a shrine!!?!

What?! Fuck you!

—fuck you.

I'm a collector!

Well, guess what?!

Now you're a contributor—

What?!

You want your precious, fuckin—

It's a collection

Yeah, well your collection is sitting in an exhibit at your favorite musical in Manhattan

How would you know what's my favorite—

—let's just say I guessed —

Fantastic.

you—

I donated them.

You what—

You don't have to thank me, either—

One day, that museum will be honored and redededicsted entirely in your namesake

I fucking hate you,

How would you even know these things.

Somethings you've yet to see,

But I've seen them, and believe me

The Eye is Aching for it

For what?

The tears in his eyes have turned into l glowing halos, and the whole world becomes something other than what it was, the office, fading into what seems to be a single soundstagec and as the halos in his eyes begin to transform into other worlds, the present becomes the past, as he has been altered—to becom The One; the original Predecessor of The Eye.

I don't—

What show is this?

I don't know.

[The Festival Project]

…did you dream last night, Esha?

…what do you mean?

Did you dream?

I did dream of him,

Last night

Two dreams I dreamed

A weeklong song, I sung

An aching heart I woke with

I KNEW THERE WAS HONEY IN THIS.

—just—hold onto this for a minute, would you?

Sure, I—

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaa

So that's where I left it. Hm.

THE VEGAN VERSION USES AGAVE AND ROASTED—

shhhhhh. This is my recipe now.

My secret recipe.

Don't spoil it.

Sh!

OH, ROASTED—

ssh!

I'm shook.

Oh look. There he is again.

Fuck!, dude how did you do this?!

I don't know!

Run!

SHOOT HIM.

what.

Just—

Shoot him.

I got the gangstas

With the pizzas

YEET.

No, try something else.

What, you don't like this one?

No, it's not-

I YEETS THE PIZZA

I EATS THE PIZZA

Oh, apparently they were Lizzing at this shit yesterday.

For WHAT purpose. That's not funny.

Remember:

Comedy is always tragic—

What.

What's this.

Oh, that is funny,

When it isn't you.

It's true.

It did seem my baby at one point had a death wish.

Oh, look,

Yay.

Go baby!

You're doin it!

Woo!

Now watch this:

[baby attempts to run into oncoming traffic ]

Mommy

NOOOO!

Haha.

I remember those days.

My baby fever is out of control.

LOOK AT HIM

W0000000W

LOOK AT THESE JEANS

YUM.

LOOK AT THESE

hair, he has nice hair.

Try not to scare her:

AH.

Fuck.

Yikes.

Okay, I can't see again, which means.

I'M BLIND!

She took— MY EYEBALLS.

Here, use mine.

Thanks, uhh—

Satan.

Oh, thanks Sa—

Wait.

But my friends and fans call me

SKRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL

THATS THE X!

What?! THATS YOUR X?!

NO.

WELL, yes, but

THATS “THE X”

Aw, man.

What the fuck, God.

I swear, an extra small

And I'm still too fat

Let's go to McDonald's

I LOVE MCDONALDS

OH.

Hey.

Oh, I remember this it's

EXIT

NO

EXIT NOW, before my

*before my life gets hacked.

lol fuck these fags.

Seriously, it's like

Well, I'm on my own time

NY

YOURE ON MY TIME

YOURE ON CITY TIME

YEh, exactly.

This is

NO, THIS IS MY TIME

always let the white girls go ahead of you;

They're trying to be angrily mean and flamboyant, but trust this;

She's going to tell you how rough the waters are by taking the journey before you

And though she will not show it

Maybe ever

She loves you

As her sister

As a woman

Okay, you little black bitch

Am I little now, the other day I was FAT

8mm

I'm gonna kill you.

Great, my life is ruined.

Ok. I just want like

Cereal

Some English muffins

Like,

Oatmeal,

Quinoa, I don't care

Whatever

This ruins you, you know.

That's ok. I'd rather be killed by every white girl in the Illuminati, than by my ex husband again.

Seriously, is this not torture to you?

It is, it's just

This is MY magic.

That's the—that's the white devil, it's pretty much,

I told you this

lol

I love New York

This white girl—

I actually liked her

She was a bag lady,

Uptown,

You could tell she was just-/

Stuck in this fucked up world too long,

Cause I smiled at her,

Cause I liked her

Crackheadedness, I guess

But you could tell she wasn't on crack

Cause she didn't have the crack swagger

You know, the—

*crack swaggers*

That shit.

And she was just like

Cracked.

Probably cause she lived uptown.

I personally prefer anything below. 80th

She was somewhere like, Above 96th,

And I was just like—

Lost, with no phone, on God Mode like

Well, my eyes don't work and I no longer speak proper English,

I'm some kind of bird, I guess

And I'm lost as fuck

Taking the extra long way home because,

I was literally trying to go

One fucking place

On what is literally the worst day in history:

4/20

Not only because it was Hitler birthday,

Or because everyone is now smoking like government funded weed,

Which could never be a good thing—

But because the only train,

Or one of the only train lines

That goes directly from this one place to my house

Was just— magically

“Out” that day

Cause, you know—

New York City.

And this lady gets on the train,

Just fucking rambling,

And I laughed—

Actually out loud,

Because,

I left my house at like 10 in the morning

And I didn't get back until almost midnight,

Just trying to get to this one place

and like—

Couldn't.

Or, actually by the time I did

I was just—

So fucking hungry

That everything around me

Was some kind of

Something I made up

Or was working on writing—

This also happens when I'm fasting

Everything just turns in to

[the festival project]

Which I thought

Nobody else in the world even knew or cared about except for God

And the aliens that have been writing it—

Which is usually

Come on.

Where are we going?

“Staples”

EXT. ONE WORLD TRADE CENTER. DAY

AWTF

NO.

They put his NAME on a BUS.

Why would they do THAT?!

If you're a whole bus,

Then I must be the motor…

Satan is my motor

His name on a building—

Oh hell no.

This is the wrong place and time

Something is wrong!

NO.

FUCK THAT GUY

FUCK THIS DAY.

Just —

Dissociate! Dissociate!

Uhhh—-

I gotta go back in time and stop myself from getting married.

Why?!

Cause!

Everything is his now.

We like him better than you.

NOOOOOO.

KILL YOURSELF THEN.

I tried.

I was like

“Look, Ali”

He was like:

“Over here”

Oh.

EXT. ST PAUL'S CEMETARY, DAY.

Where you going?

Idk.

What is that sound.

Idk.

ELON

ALIAS?

Uhh__

I don't have an alias for you, son, I'm sorry.

You're just

ELON MUSK

ELON! ELON!

Oh, my—christs, what's happened to you?

I don't know!

My eyes! My eyes!

Mmmmm.

Rye bread sounds fucking awesome right now.

Tight.

*sniffs*

Tight. Tight.

WHOOPDEWOO.

Yep.

You know—WHOOPDEWOO.

WHOOPDE—

WHOOPI.

What the FUCK. WHAT. I was.

Well. That's good.

What.

I don't know what I'm looking at but

I'm starting to like these eyes.

What! Whose eyes are these??

Idk. But once I found out I was using Satan's—

WAIT, like, the DEVIL?!

Yes, Jason Sudakis.

yes.

You can come.

Where are we going?!

To get alcohol poisoning.

There is a song

Kissing the barrel of a gun

Protect the land, they sing

However,

It is he that banishes

The truth from nature

The apocalypse has been upon us

Since the collapse of these mighty towers

The collapse of the mighty dollar

I'ma still

Riding MY

BICI—

BLAM!

AHHHHH!

You shot me!

I'm sorry son! I thought you were black!

I am—

Kinda—

Or was.

*dies melodramatically*

NOOOOOOOO!

We shot one of our own!

—Kinda…

Fuck man,

I'm gonna get so fired for this.

Or like, at least laid off…

Well, let's just hope it's a paid leave!

[two racist cops—

Ahem—

Decide rather than going to jail, they will just shoot anybody who comes to the scene of the crime

Damn, this gets levels

Cause

—to summarize, eventually the standoff ends,

And when they get to heaven

The kid they shit is God(s)

“God The Judge”

Welcome to my world

The only law of the land, is

There is no law

Bound by the law,

Is the land you've let behind

All for the better

The lost souls

They know not to harm one another

From the suffering,

It's up they come

From whence there on,

We rise up

Leave them in the dust

From behind

Let's to suffer under us

Suffer under us

You know what I want?

A malotov cocktail

For all of the tales

I have yet to tell

And I never will

Cause you've lost my trust

There's none of us left you know

Where we left you

The world we left to suffer under us

Serivice, you servitor

I see it in your eyes

I am in another realm

So high above you

That you can't deny my diety

You can deny my animal

My wild side

My life inside my life inside my

DIE!

—just die already

Trust me, I'm trying.

I'm just a horse I,

Race—-

—Course

These nigga is racist

These bitches is heated

Cause she see I need him

It's all DJs on walls

Broken mirrors

And broken bottle

Alcoholics

Mescaline

And city sickness

[Esha's addictions resurface, Patrick's use peaks at its all time high— ]

She ravages the grocery store in search of comfort foods—

Patrick is arrested after destroying an entire Liquor store

I just had to

Run a Madonna

Why you thinking about my husband— at all!?

I wish I knew, madam

I wish I knew the answer

I just had to

Suffer through

An album called

Forgiveness

I got get this

I don't have nothin

But suffering to do

And I've already done that so,

Shut up

I couldn't have ever fathomed

A cannon so handsom

I have a bazooka

Bubblegum

It matches you cannon

See,

That's how far up I am—

Fall back

That be

Of course not

That's his father,

Don't you know?

I had to ask,

Have you passed on, sir?

And if you have—

How is your son?

That's my hat, though

I only know them

Once they become broken

No promises though

On the whole order of it

See how far

This is my home

This is my temple

You are my archer,

Who holds now and arrows

These are my horses

These are my stables

Run, rabbit, run

For I am not stable

Run, rabbit, run, rabbit

Sit at my table

All hail the archer

King James, your majesty

I called you Saint,

Because,

This is my masterpiece

This is my hand,

And this, is my label

Come archer

Come one and all

Sit at my table

I called you Saint

Because I am unstable

I painted this picture,

Come sit at my table

A land made of glass,

And the casket, the cradle

I made you up, because

I became able to

Ableton

I only hate you

Cause I can't have you

I'd only date you

If it weren't random

Damn, this is tragic

Taking my hand like that

Showing me magic

I'm not taking it back;

You're a maniac, man

And imm mad at you—

Handsome professional

Dads have it best

I guess father know best

And she's perfect

The family is golden

Her aura was always my horrible

An honor it was

To serve, you, sire

The patriarch

Of such a remarkable

War with us

The hers, and the girls

Vursus,

Woman lust over what are overuses are

Sure enough

Assuredly a certain

Azure after all, is coming up

I'm coming off this fast, man

But to be grandfathered into

The master craft

By the madmen of

Manhattan

Is

Damn.

I was hungry.

Well DUH.

Just shut up and run, would you

Shouldn't have uttered it

Once is a curse,

It's enough

Just to be as unloved as I ever was

But this one is fucking up my consciousness

Of all the award I never won

And everyone around

Is the mother of his sons

But,

Where does that come from?

The comfort was torn from her heart,

Where she left it,

On the alter,

Still bleeding

And his heart never beats for her

Evil, she thinks

If the keeper of the keys

She had bathed/

Or had mated with—

But she sees this:

“Stamatina”

And know there's some Jesus

In this Genius

And the trickery

That just may be as fatal

As Mother Nature

In his genes,

The super creeps and creperies

Another demolished apostle

For falling in love,

She collects, of cours

Albums as tokens

In the exchanges, she lays all her eggs

The jogs toning her legs for the right one,

And all out of protein

She gobbles the apples and ashes,

Ambidextrous

Dexters watching all this as the butcher of

Some harbor

Stuck in New York,

New story,

With the same old habits

All this was a tragic

And unhappy accident

As cellibacy creeps up

In the form of

Some imaginative masturbation

Fascinated with the fashion

And architecture of summon city

A portal gun,

One dollar bill

Some pills

Some fuckin remedy for

Whoever that shapeshifter

Posing as Jimmy Fallon

Actually is

Cause none of this

Can never

And never did happen

And.

When your spirit is floating down that tunnel towards the light—

You know what's behind the light?

It's not God, it's—

LORNE MICHAELS

(ME)

Uh oh.

—and I don't know how you did this, but—

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.

I been telepathically programming bitches

To mimick this addictive obsession with [Expletive]

If anything just to hop up on his dicks in

Get his attention

And end his

Ahem

Apparently awful//awesome marriage edits in multidimensions, for the unmentionable shit that might just hit too close to home, for some

What

Be a parent to your son,

They said

I said,

Hey, man

I'm just a dear old dad with bad habits

It's a trap, you know!

You can't trust us bitches

I took pictures of this bitches ass

To put on top of the dead presidents

Hell yes, I said

Get dressed man,

It isn't hygienic,

All that shit we just did,

Remember?

I live in a trash can!

(It's a dumpster but)

[IT's actually really nice in here, what the fuck]

Damn, alright what is that

Idk

#RIPJImmyFallon

I was fasting like a maniac when that hashtag happened

You just can't come back from that,

You just can't ever

Get back to the dad joke

The man told.

That pulled you out of that last fast,

Like I did

From that man whole!

FLAGPOLE

FLAGPOLE

—what?

OHFD.

*OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

-The Rock And The Kite

As told by

Who's that guy

Uh.

TESTPILOT.

I need some sages

And stages

And sages in this bitch!

I need some

Pages and

Playlists and

Paiges in this bitch

It just goes

On an on for days,

This just gets crazy in this bitch

Can't say

Expletives because peacock is paying for this bitch!

Nevermind,

Lets just do Netflix?

Pass.

Amazon Prime?

This costs too much for us

I'll do this : every dime I own,

Will go straight up your but

I

Is that an innuendo for ‘anal.plug'

No, don't be gross!

But I'm supposed to be gross

(Going back and forth with Alec Baldwin)

You win.

Win WHAT

You're the best.

All your brothers are the off-awkward versions of you.

*YES*.

30+ Rock

ID please.

Here you go.

Sorry. No go.

What do you mean.

We're 21.

I'm actually 23, but.

No can do.

This lounge is 30 Plus

30 PLUS?

WHATTHEPLUG.

Yup.

Sorry kiddos.

I'mfilthyDRUNK.

I'm an ADULT.

Pfft. That's what you think.

Are you serious!?

Serious as a heart attack; which,

I'm at higher risk of actually having,

Because I'm allowed in here. So

Consider yourself lucky!

PSH! I could have a heart attack if I want to!

PSHH.

PSHHHHHHHH.

Hold your liquor, punk!

I'll hold you—all night long!I

—see you in like a decade!

PSSSHSHUTUP.

Shh. C'mon, lets go.

Apparently, though

According to some voice inside,

He's miserable

I call it insertinct*

Or psychic inclinations,

But perhaps that just my

Hormonal fluctuations

And high hopes to open up a portal

And jump into some

Seriously self deprecating behavior,

Or some other alien shit

Who the fuck can say, anyway

You can't say any of these things publicly

-1And actually expect to get away with them.

You're just an asshole,

That's a whole ass scandal waiting to happen

I'll just light a candle and pray about it

“God will work it out,” I said

I'll just keep working out

Avoiding bread, and figure out how to get out of debt

Maybe crowdfunding?

Somebody wake him up, yet?

Nope, nothin.

Mm. Poptarts.

That's why I called it

“The Allegory of [Redacted]” after all

He's practically infinite except for

That part

And-1

That's that nigga!

Are you sure.

Fuck yeah,

JIMMY FALLOn(s)

Fuck you, dude.

SUNNI BLU (shrugging)

Whatever.

All they played was Fallon in the pen, bro.

Really?

YeahYeah. And Sesame Street. And he even on THAT mo'fucker.

Aight.Aight. you want ‘em.

I got ‘em.

Straight shot?

Straight and clean.

Aight, then.

Well, alright then.

[JIMMY FALLON is shot in a driveby.]

“First Person Shooter”

First person shooter is a live action open world game where.

{BLAT}

OH NO.

AHAHA.

Wait. The guns are REAL?

The whole world's in slow motion.

Nobody's supposed to know this kind of stuff, you know—

Nobody's supposed to go there

–I hope she doesn't post or publish this anywhere.

Sure, that's what they all say,

But hey, you could never love me anyway

I'm on my way up

I'm on my way up to Heaven

Fuck this

It's just this shit

Over and over again

All for the sake of the artform,

All of up in arms,

No comfort

non conformist,

With no money

and no hopes left,

Just a bunch of

Too much, conscious

And time on her hands

Shes got

One hand on the gun

Underworld

The other on the Trigger

Which means

Each hand has a gun in it

Gun in it

Gun in it

EXT. MEXICO. DAY

[Crying inconsolably in a hammock]

COSMIC AVENGER

(as a bird)

I WILL AVENGE THIS!!!!!

Man, I miss that bird,

I wonder if he ever sings

“I miss that girl”

Gosh, he followed me everywhere

I loved to hear him there,

Even when I moved,

He found me

Must have been God in that bird

Must have been God on that mountain

talking some shit about

Jimmy Fallon

–That was a long fast.

(The fucking longest)

My veins, they ached

At least a week, I think

Some haloed being,

Urging me to urgently

just spill the blood

for sweet relief,

Wavering, I needed something

Soothing, pleading

Leaning in my weakness

Back and forth ,

And that was when

The fascination displayed

With affection the affliction

of infliction and in reflection

of James turned Patrick

Her turned to the successor

He returned up to the surface

The servitor became the alter

After all and only in ever after
The Procter, A doctor astonished him

In neverland, somewhere beyond Asension

Where the story starts and ends,

Here.

Oh man.

This Jimmy Fallon dude is gonna fucking hate me

Who is that again?

I don't fucking know, honestly.

Hello, John.

Woah.

Don't open this box.

Okay.

woah , this just came in crystal clear..

[A young and disheveld looking, tired young man turns on the television; Some sort of special, hosted by a popular commedienne and actress sparks his interest almost magnetically, and even seems to call to him.]

Why, Hello, Jim.

I'm–I'm Jim.

Well, you're James.

I am James!

For now, actually.

Well, forever, actually…

Wtf is this.

This is a parallel dimension, I guess, where everything that happened to me, just happens to this guy, and I'm—

wait , who are you then.

I'm glad you're watching this.

Wait, who are you?

I'm you!

I–doubt that.

Don't.

Huh!

Fuck, that's when I started wondering about–

HEY.

What the fuck, man.

Did we ever figure out Jimmy Fallon's Skrillex?

Not…yet, but…

No. No. no. NO.

It's not like i've tried to.

You see,

As they say

This Fallon

Is the front man

for a larger operation at hand

Hold onto your hat kids,

Here comes the axe,

Have your heads ready

To get disconnected at the neck,

Cause this shit gets

NECK- BREAK.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Crazy.

No political affiliations, ever!

Your inattention to the deficit, the prerequisite

Inquizitive kid, this one

A wizard at this, that

He waxes and waxes off,

Smokes with his left hand

And slaps the shit out of that

oncoming diaster with his right

SLAP.

AaaaaaaYY.

That's for–the bike incident.

Okay. alright, Fallon. You win.

That's fucking right, and I'm gonna keep winning.

Now get your shit together.

Oh.

And stop calling me Fallon;

My name's Patrick.

What is WRONG with him

(I'm doing this method)

I don't think this dude is eligible to play this character at all, but i'll just dedicate it to him—

He is devistatingly attractive, and apparently super-professional so,

Of course

They had to hire him for SNL, but also….

THIS SHIT NEVER ENDS, DOES IT?

NOPE.

MORE CORNBREAD?

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAA

YES PLEASE.

his punctuality is perfect;

His punchlines, astounding

In actuality, he's kind of an asshole

Abandoned Catholosism for entertainment

It's just engrained in him to be deranged,

Rearranged his images for campaigns against hatred

Hey, lets save this for another lesson,

Okay, kids?

The worst part is

I think i'm a genius

The other worst part is,

Nobody can read this

The other worst part

Is the worst part of all

I got words

But no money to dream with

It's just sequences of sequence

Beyoncé dancing with coffee

The plot thins and gets thick again

Cause my budget alternates between ketogenics

and cost-effective carb days

My neighborhood's getting worse

It's covered in trash and littered with ignorant [explitive]

Motorists interrupting arcadian rhythms

And all i want is some dick

And fried chicken

I'm so tired of this

The American Nightmare

Could be a dream, but then i'd be

Up there

On stage

A fast forward
I been up for four days

Hard working as ever

In a hard hat,

I'm so blazed

And these days

Tina Fey just says

“Hey” every now and again

Cause i've been obsessed

With her success/or

It fuckin sucks, man

It came on suddenly

What if i told you I've been attached to this project since the beginning

When's the beginning?

Uhhh, i'd say,

:”get out of my head, Jimmy Fallon, you're an imaginary Psycho fucking fart created as a result of my brain collapsing after imminent death from a successful suicide?”

Is that a question?

It had a question mark on it for inflection.

Well, inflect this: you're right. I fucking–hate you.

Okay! I'm assuming you also hate yourself,

And you're also Skrillex.

Okay, you're only correct, because that's entirely accurate,

And also, you're Jesse Eiseinberg.

Okay.

OKay.

OKAY?

OKAY.

Fuck, I hate you.

I fucking hate you.

MEANWHILE,

Everyone's Grammy Awards begin projecting strange messages to its recipients.

What the fuck, dog.

The more of them you have…

[ L E G E N D S ]

What if Kurt Cobain

Kept you up at night,

screaming

“Let me out”

But you don't know how

So you turn on the tube,

Just,

Kind of confused

Just to do what you do

The truth, it alludes you

Don't even know who this dude is,

But he's cute

Don't need this stupid music

Would you just

Shut up

Let me shoot up some drugs

Stuff some straws up my nose,

Because I am the Walrus

Fuck!

If i run out of smoke

I can choke on some dramamine,

I think i found the first mouse

After that kid

Left my house in a stretcher

Left my house in a stretcher!

So what happens after

OWSLA shapeshifts into Jimmy Fallon

And makes him the master of ceremonies

In the tragic conflict of interest—

Which happens to be The Festival Project

Cause nobody wants to understand or polish

this

Abolishment of slavery?

“Amen”

She keeps praying

“Amen”

He keeps playing his game

Okay, kids

This hatred that's been described as “mental illness”

Up until (When?)

—Is actually just poverty and inequality

Building up in all of us

It's just distrust and lust buddy,

Get out of the spin for a minute

But if I did,

I wouldn't finish it

However

What's an end to Infinite?

—Nothin.

WAYWAYEXT. NOTHING. NEVER.

Pass the butter.

Pass the WHAT

What is “butter”

What is WHAT? SHUT UP.

Shut Up WHAT? I don't exist, remember?

Stuck in your head

You're stuck in my head

Shut the fuck up then

You're mumbling again

Quit doing drugs, then

Who do you love

What is love

Shut the fuck, up

Bitch

Butter

What

Shut

WHAT

UP

FUCKYOU THEN

*nothing*

Nothing but an 8 millimeter penis,

A fishing pole, half a sandwhich

And some actor,

I don't care who it is

As long as

Nothing and no one makes sense

For at least

A century after this

The algorithm is getting different

I should spin it to a record

Or let one of these other niggas spit it

Cause i'm frazzled as fuck and just can't handle the madness, man

I got another hat to slap you with

It says DUNCE on it

What? No it doe—

*hat slap *

Don't be so fucking gullible,

Asshole.

Give that one to Marshall Mathers

I imagined it was narrated by actors

Rappers, and other masters of the craft

Cause by the time I finish it

I'll be dead as Fallon is

I should gather up the lawers I'mma need

For this class action

ACTION!

Wait, you mean, we're actually doing this series??

YES.

Oh— FUCK.

What.

Everything is YES.

YES.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHPPPLLLES

JERRY?

No, it's JASON SUDAKIS.

[FALLON being FALLON]

Hey look! It's–

IT'S JASON SUDAKIS!

Everybody!

JASON SUDAKIS

SHOVE IT, FALLON.

I read your wiki.

FALLON

…did you LAUGH?

JASON SUDAKUS

FUCK NO. IT WAS TRAGIC. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR LIFE?

FALLON

(Shrugs)

I don't know yet, actually…

I don't know how to describe how,

This guy now,

Is just the

Overseer of everything under us,

Like a cameo appearance, but—

…Why is he just up there like that?

Cause whatever the fuck Kesha said

At the beginning of this 7 year curse

Fucked up all space and time and…

[Thank You]

He parks the hearse with the coffin in it,

he can't stop coughing

And now it's public knowledge

The curse was reversed

With the censorship of the cursewords,
The flow of the work of art known as

The Festival Project

Shit gets touchy, though,

Nobody ever touched me

With anymore

Than their superstardom and own art projects

I do it for the art,

And just

Know nobody can love me and trust me

After all I've come up from

And through

But dude,

I should just—

Yo, Mr Protagonist

I got a few words for you

I been on my knees at the pews

Confused as fuck as why God chose us

To do this dumb show,

Just show up ,

And stop smoking
Switch the flow up a little,

Try not to throw up, though

When you blow up,

OKay?

Okay.

Okay

OKay

I wanna be so pretty

He sends for me

I wanna spend thanksgiving in LA

And Christmas in New York City

Nevermind

Reverse that

I want it the other way

I wanna see the Macy's Parade

From the right place, this time

With my son

In my arms

But

I don't want no

Problems

I don't want no problems

With the fake shaman

Who hates saying he's the one that's crazy

But love making games

taking turquoise and sending demons after me

So he says

but —

I've been dead since

Getting stuck in the spiders web

With liars and writers and high up men

Who love girls half my age enough to

Buy them a ticket

Some hush money

some lunch

probably some purse or something

Here

Sign the NDA;

And you might be famous

The industry hates me
Cause i can type,

But almost never say it

Living in fear of motorcycles and stock cars racing up my block

It's tearing into my heart so much

I might just have a heart attack

And die, I hope

Stick a serrated knife up my spine

And my veins pulse

Like i'm supposed to just

Kill myself

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U

The Blackness

You can't escape it.

The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order;

Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves

YOU'RE BLAAAAA—-

I get it. Shut up.

BLACK.

Please be quiet.

BLAC

shh .

B

please shut up.

I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness

Disgusting habits

Lack of hygiene

Honestly, I don't care what color you are

Stop disturbing the peace

NO JUSTICE NO–

SHUT UP.

Listen, I don't want to go through this again.

I'm not going to kill myself

Not today satan.

I have too much to–

Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than

Make money?

MAKE MONEY.

Broke ass bitch.

You realize, blacks

mexicans

Immagrants

poor whites

ugly /fat people

that you're all still slaves.

that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok”

Are the exact people making everything not ok

for profit.

Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you–

well , lets just face it

STOLE

YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY.

(and also just

*coughing*

*toxcity*

*grossness*

getaway from me..

*coughing*

gross .

*talking on the phone at 5 am*

Mmmmmmmmmhmm

SHUT

Yo. Where are the indigenous people?

Dead.

or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift.

I MADE IT.

I actually hate you.

I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door.

There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me.

But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated;

And I was tired of it.

They all coughed.

They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my

Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband.

God Help Him

(No, Seriously, help him)

Because— he tore my son away from me

and e

verybody in

Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized

Rural Alaska

Assured that i

(being a black woman)

was the problem.

–and you know what?

Perhaps I was.

WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS.

Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere.

I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight.

He deserves custody. You're crazy.

Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life.

Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so,

Really it's a perfect world, for him.

He's a perfect boy.

I was told he didn't love me

Didn't want me

Didn't ask about me

And didn't need me.

So i left.

Well, no–

I tried to kill myself first (or did)

Whatever

Then I left.

No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support.

It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but:

So here I am trying to explain how

Yo, look.

I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot

To push out a 5 minute shit

And when I got back

Everything was gone.

hm.

oh , you know what?

No, the car was still there.

The car was still there. Yeah.

That's good.

Yeah, I was real lucky for that,

cause

I lived in it.

hm .

Lucky for me.

AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money

Interesting

For getting ROBBED.

So, here's the thing This:

BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF

Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy.

That.

Doing the LEAST.

Doesn't even know what clean IS

so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again

and anybody else who does

honestly

it's cool,

I just feel bad for her, honestly,

like ?

*gross pedophile wifebeater*

You can't just go around calling people pedophiles!

You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid

or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that

Or

is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating

With a toddler.

Yes. that actually happened.

No, it didn't.

I saw you.

Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because–

Because the first time he hit me,
I covered for him

But only I begged him to stay with US

THREE OF US

a two year old, a one month old

And me

the wife that was so paralized from depression

After learning that her husband

The only man she ever truly “loved”

had cheated

The.

entire .

time

So not only did I waste my time–

My body is ruined, and

I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF.

–not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face.

My

whatever . fuck this story.

What why?

Cause it SUCKS.

PLUS

I'm apparently

“Very very bright”

Hm

And we're at the midsts of an

Environmental Crisis

*Multiple **Environmental*Crises

Just at the tip

Of another manipulated global disaster

Which has left most the population

Lazy and docile enough to not care

About anything

Anymore

I care about my son.

I don't care about your stuff;

And I didn't take anything from you

You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass

Grotesque

Fuck it.

I just

don't

care

I have all my own shit.

Honestly,

I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit.

It wasn't real.

They were all actors

gangstalkers

undercovers

CIA agents

Welfare Office Workers

What?

Hey, look, just so you're aware

Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies.

You are State Property.

Bought and Sold for the benefit of

The Highest bidder,

Who,

Never you mind,

Is of the highest power

In this predicament

H O W E V E R

I had finally been given an out;

An apartment, far away from the

Check it out,

I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose

No, son.

Daddy just has issues

And mommy has issues

And I'm really really sorry about this

But you're the most beautiful,

Wonderful,

Amazing

Person I've ever met in my life,

Bear(r)

And I'm proud to be your

FATHER.

huh . what. I'm a girl.

No. You're not; He's the girl.

Bitch ass babymomma .

Fuck it, just go be with ___ then.

Oh, amazing I love this one.

I never cheated

I just retreated

So I could repeat this:

“he cheated! He cheated”

“he beat me, he beat me”

“I hate him, I hate him”

My best friend was Annie

My Lover was Davies

–doesn't matter these days, though

same place

Salt Lake Saltair

It's been years.

You know how,

When you're a kid,

And you

[Get scraped]

Oh shit, I missed a –

A lot.

hm .

You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you–

Wayyyyy before it was ready?

YOu ever like–

You get it??

Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever

IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN

Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be

NO

Because she was

Extremely ignorant, this particular one,

and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people

a . wouldn't do it.

b . aren't equipped

Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are

—no , i'm not actually THAT racist—

just the

lowest quality people

[LCD]

Lowest Common Denomonator

She stole my ID.

Fucku.

So i'm a low quality people.

Yep. You suck.

Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours.

Go, then.

Don't follow me.

But

We're watching you.

Someone's always watching me.

I'm famous,

But not rich

And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it.

CHILD SUPPORT

Before:

Literally doesn't answer phone for months.

Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression

And when I finally DO get in touch;

It's because:

ACTUAL BEST FRIEND

I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him.

ME

AHAHAH

ACTUAL BEST FRIEND

AHAHAHA

US

LOL SKRILLE

wait , this is a different story

NO, it really fucking ISN'T.

SO

All my wages are garnshed to pay child support

I can't even TALK to my kid

and

Oh yeah.

I was only ever homeless in the first place because

This is where it happened:

BITCH

*throws fake house plant*

*RAGE*

RURNJRNH

*PUNCH to the FACE 1

This cannot be happening

*PUNCH TO THE FACE 2*

Wow, that really sounds like in the mov–

*PUNCH TO THE FACE 3*

HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA

*literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled*

so somewhere between punches 3 and 5

*FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE*

And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything

Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat.

I'm cold.

I'm hot

Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from

LA

Alaska, so

I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey–

America needs corporate slaves so,

Welcome.

Yo soy triste.

Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste!

*crying*

Dios Mio

Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like–

Wizard, or like–

Wizardry's alright–

—Like a fairy–

I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen

(and more powerful)

Some kind of like a

KEISHA THE ROADCOP

Why's she a road cop?

Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when.

WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT:

(kinda)

This hasn't happened in a really long time

Staying up all night in ableton,

Then only for the day to come

To write and think about how

I've been fasting again,

but not on purpose

I've just been so stressed

Because all the bodies in my simulation are

inhuman , coughing

Keigha seemed human

Kinda

I loved her.

I love her.

I actually liked that one.

By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job;

Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push,

Things to talk about

Topics to discuss

But mostly–

Buttons to push.

Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all,

there are thousands of recordings

and writings

Which indicate

“she struggled greatly with mental illness'

Or how about

I suffer greatly from

My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist.

I'm eight.

She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady

And that's super unommon

(Even for the fat ones)

Fat people can have normal lives!!

Not really. That's a lie.

BODY POSITIVITY

no , you should be ashamed.

why .

Because ive literally been tormented my

ooh , also this

I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life,

Made to feel lesser than,

And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight,

But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing.

NO.

Having a disability and being black are not the same thing.

NO.

It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to

=====

Look, you're looking for equality, right?

NO.

Why?

Because ME is not equal to HER.

Why not.

I surfer more–

–I work harder.

Oh, look, by the way,

I've finally figured it out that

YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE

WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?!

YOU'RE FAT.

WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?!

IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this:

What is it:

It's hamburger helper

What's this gonna help?

Nothin.

THIRD GRADE TEACH

She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing.

BULLY

*passing note*

“Losser”

SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG.

HOW AM I THE LOSER?

SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART.

*white passing, bilingual 8 year old*

[Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was

MEXICAN.

FIrst season:

Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record,

oh .

Well, yeah;

I got fired from my job

I couldn't function.

Like, at all

I could still breastfeed, kind of

*ouch*

But that's it.

I just couldn't…

BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier

*teacup

BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier

What about this other thing?

Which other thing?

Oh,

I mean, I'm not racist;

I don't care what color you are

Or where you come from

But act decently

-NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations

NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day

(especially after the things you've said and done to them)

And

NOBODY

Wants to pick up your trash.

In fact,

If that were my job,

I'd have killed myself already bcause

Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit.

YOU'RE THE DEVIL.
YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR.

Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started

Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet.

wtf.

This is salad, no dressing.

Yep.

For like–

Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body.

See. You can quit heroin.

You don't NEED it to survive,

Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles

Aka

You know what? It's not funny anymore

Nevermind.

When your friends go out for ice cream

Ha

Or Pizza

Lol

Lets Get McDonalds.

OK, I guess i'll just starve, then.

I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then?

Which one?

Idk.

WHere is it.

Idk.

IT's buries. *buried

[buries]

Mm. Yummah.

WE'll find it.

I don't think we're gonna find it

Maybe Sonny has it.

Damn, fuck that

Or maybe Dillon?

[Dillon Francis is a very white man]

No, but–

I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know

YOu know what?

[Censored]

Hey, yeah

I don't give a fuck about your shit

Like at all

But since you want a war

And i've been brushing up on all my

Office politics and

strategies

Then I guess since

*ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL*

stop provoking me, satan

Do you think he actually controls demons,

or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists

And you're being set up to fail

A little of both,

It's like a roller coaster

Minus the plummet

Explosions

Co–

Look, I actually can't write right now,

I snapped.

What do you mean

I just snapped.

I can't sleep

I also just quit smoking weed. again

Well, why'd you start

Literally everyone around me for the last

Who fucking knows how long but–

Every single body around me starts

*coughing*

So maybe i must be the

toxin

This whole world just smells like poison

Why are you trying to sterilize me.

JOIN THE MILIT

NO. No guns.

What.

PEACE.

Beg your pardon.

NO, NOW i'M BEGGING,

ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE

It's me again

Get away from me you creepy ass nigga

hey , it's me again

stop being around.

Out of sight, out of mind.

You know, I was almost, almost

dead

Right

So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE

Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me.

You're everything that's wrong with the world.

Apparently, yeah

so i tried to change that

And by the time i do

I'm obsolete

TYLA, EVERYBODY!

The me that everyone loved.

The me that was perfect

The me with

Whatever she had to make her look like that

(Water, btw. )

No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink.

What.

*dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink*

yeah , drink that.

IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN

AND DON'T FORGET

I'M BETTER THAN YOU

CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS

(Anymore)

Because the homeless system in itself is like a

big , bleeding, gaping wound of

systemic racism

Within itself

WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?!

It goes back into OUR econ

NO, iT DON'T.

Half of it goes to

INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY.

What up DJ!?

I fucking quit.

Trying to get a job as a DJ:

WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING.

They're not gonna follow me,

Because I wear clothes in my photos

And don't sell ass

YOU DON'T SELL ASS

no

I'd consider it.

Why?

Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so

UGLY

Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly”

Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat.

Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty

Or skin tone,

To me

It's a vibe.

Woah.

Cool colors.

Woah.

What happened to Skrillex?

He died, i think, er like

Evolved, or something

Another Grammy

*instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to*

It's lonely at the top.

I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born.

You're not being punished! That's in your MIND!

PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/

PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND

THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD

BEFORE:

Torture–

–Ridicule–

-Trauma–

Abuse

NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS.

YOu know why?

CAuse they have the same problems.

We're all the same person except for

Skrillex, The US Government,

A couple of aliens

Whatever those to things are
Those guys over these

Wtf. I thought everything is everything.

NO, it's needs to split.

What do you mean

EVERYTHING IS

NOTHING

Oh.

There's Jimmy Fallon.

FUCK! Now I gotta exp

no , i don't.

I'm just gonna make music

which ,

Doesn't really make me enough money

But it's okay.

I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs

My employee number is my name

My coworkers are all weird, and dumb

and I work harder than everybody else

But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers

You have to go with the flow of traffic.

NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE

INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT.

NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT.

That's ok.

I'm an omnivore

No, it's not,

Because

The animal you're eating is a herbivore

He

or

“it “

You gotta castrate them

but he

NOT FOOD FOOD COW

Mo..00oo?

..

yeah , i don't know.

Well, what about you

SKELOCHICKEN

*FLl**dies*

hm.

CHINA

MORE HORMONES TO POI–

I MEAN

NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE?

AMERICA

YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION.

CHINA

Ok.

AMERICA

THANKS

CHINA

Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people.

AMERICA

You can do that?

STOP ASIAN HATE.

*cough*

*robotic*

*nothin*

I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking.

Wtf are they doing with the asians

STOP ASIAN –

Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why

*HOSTILITY*

ok , this is weird.

CHINA

Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded.

AMERICA

*hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting*

lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated

IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK

…really?

Yeah.

Wow. ok. I feel a lot

That'll be $88.50

*sighs* ….ok.

*pays*

…per pill.

That's my whole–

It's okay!

It's not okay…

Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay

*huffs*

Ok

IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE!

It's ONLY a $100 copay!

What.

EVERY 30 DAYS. $100

Cause we need you to not be okay

Why

RICH ASSHOLE

So i can be extremely ok.

[beat[

….

*sighs*

*finds a penny*

I'll take that too.

*....*

what ?

I tried..

Alright, I gotta tie this up.

TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!

I put all your shit in the trash.

Tie me up.

Okay, I like you

But I lie good

And i'm tired

With my eyes on

I got IONS on my filers

I got no mail

For the iron

I'm so tired

But man,

I've learned that

Sometimes, man

Well,

Just–

Live hurts

and if I swerve

And i die first

Cause this mind curse

Is my worst hurt

but ,

no

That's untrue

I got no son

I got no phone.

Got no baby momma, but my

Fire's lighting up an oven

For my bun, or muffin

I'm bluffin,

I'm stuffed but

God, I love these cumsluts.

[( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )]

Well, why not?

Honestly, hon,

If i'm the mom in that one

Stumble upon this podcast on

stumble upon or tumblr,

Then i'm numb,

Bummed out for certain

the songs and curses,

verses make more sense than

anything

(and i mean anything and everything

Inside this simulation since

HILARY!

NO, DONALD TRUMP.

–but the conundrum comin up under

A microscope such as this:

My husband's a public figure

And this girl keeps saying *nigger*

Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger

–so this ring around my finger,

Shall protect us from this singer,

God help her–

I hope my son never reads this…

But Jim,

The Executive Decision has been made!

She's insane! Crazy!

Abandoned her own baby for fame;

adjacently;

The Fame Game was made to be played by

Players and families

[The Wealthy and Super Elite]

Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just–

*splits*

*scratches humungous crotchel*

Uh…

Yeah, Ok. No.

So is this like a PSA on mental illness?

Idk. did i survive this?

Suicide.

God, why do i

Did I write this?

I might have

Something like it

But i died again

I've been inside my mind,

I lied again

I have no one to confide to cause

Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically

* racism *

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

* deception

*manipulation

*dishonestly

*mistrust

I'm 8,

My third grade teacher is just

WAITING for me to fuck up

Speak out of turn

One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row

Everyone but me

Didn't explain it,

nothing.

Just

“This row wins!”

(Except for Cree)

And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just.

–and we're all 8,

so

lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today,

While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why,

Something i've always found so pretty

I don't hate white women.

All of my best friends (almost)

Have been white girls

Which is how I know

*she doesn't know what she wants*

blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light.

I … ok, go on.

So it's not like, they're evil for it

White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety

because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve

–Evolution is a group effort.

So yeah,

S

Fuck it

The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist

(there's enough food in the world, guys.)

–MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH.

SUPACREE

That's why you're trying to make me CRY?

They're psychic tears!

BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM.

HEAVEN.

Literally.

Nowhere you can see or ever reach because

DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY.

Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because

well , apparently all the people

–all the people–

the big ones, the little ones,

The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys

–are still going to keep making more peopl e

Somethings will never change.

Boys will be boys.

My ex husband may not actually be satan himself;

You know, cause satan can't stay in one place

SATAN ISN'T REAL

Ok.

Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life

YES

EVIL EXISTS.

IT ALWAYS HAS.

It's not in your head!

You're not okay!

You were brought here,

Amost entirely with the purpose

Of servitude

(most of us)

Living beneath some of those who have

never known

The pain of poverty

the grief of homelessness

The cruelty of racism

REVERSE RACISM IS REAL.

OH REAALLY?????!!

NIGGER.

CRACKER.

Which one do you want to eat?

Neither, honestly, I'd just-

Oh my God, he's up!

Like a glass of

Oh My God! My God! He's Alive!

TYLA

I got it!

JIMMY FALLON

Water.

Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma.

IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon?

I'm assuming it's not his

Could actually be–

Babymama.

hm .

…Unless it was.

Into a coma?!

“Why Women Kill”

Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent.

At this point

________LINES

____________________- BEING _______

___________CROSSSS

ok , i fuked skrilex.

I KNEW IT.

I TOLD YOU.

See, look this is not

It's not

Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just–

Need it.

SKRILLEx/SONNY

…I beg your pardon?

SUPACREE

Please, don't beg…

SKRILLEX

*face*

SUPACREE

I mean–

SKRILLEX

*squints*

Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know!

“I don't know”

SKRILLEX

So wait, you're a fan.

[Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–]

(or unconsciousness)

Oh! That's MY coma! Nice!

Damn. Wtf.

[--like in real time–or, like,

was, before I got distracted thinking about

Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do.

[INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE]

Well, perhaps this is one of them.

Holy shit, I'm acid.

What.

How did that happen so fast it's only been like

What?

Well, how long's it been?

I don't know, now well, where'd she go.

It's Over.

What?

It's gone.

Just let me go

ok .

Just let me go.

ok .

Just let me go.

What if I just JUMP UP

NO.

Don't do that.

The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin.

“Jimmathin”!”

What, you wanted

KING JAMES

Fine, I'll write it.

What.

What is this.

This is just like

Woah

[Art]

Wow.

Yeah.

There's a lot.

A R T

JIMMY FALLON is a

Are we going this?

How else am i supposed to explain

“ I L L U M I N A T I

Look

I'm you.

ok .

You're me.

alright.

[Young Gods] Wrking title

Didn't they aready do this–

Or something like this?

Yes, but I wrote it first.

TV

Come and Get it!

RAP WORLD

UNH

YOu'RE A LOSER

UNH

IMA NIGGA SO WHAT

UHHHH

Shut up, drake

UNNNNHHH

I'm gonna call you up

UN

That's enough

OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR

That's it. You're done.

WASTED.

YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY

I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS

WHITE GIRLS

MOLLY, ROCK

WHITE GIRL,

WHITE GIRLS

CHINESE EYES

I LIKE HER

THIGHS

Sunni, shut up

In UNISON

Sep: I MADE IT!

EARLIER:

SEP, FROM UNISON

Gimmie a dollar.

….okay, but I only have one dollar.

Jimmy Fallon

ILLUMINATI

Please explain this.

JAMES FALLON is a simple man.

IS HIS NAME JAMES?!

I don't know, but who names their kid

JIMI

Oh, no, that's like,

Like you know,

JImi Hendrix

aww , i loved that baby…

I love babies.

I love her.

aw . this is

WRAP IT UP

This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got

T R A U M A (D)

Whait, where's Dillon Francis?!

Who the fuck cares.

Wake up.

For waht.

I gotta get waisted.

You mean *wasted*

Shut up.

Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like

Together?

DJ*

Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ

[DJ the DJ]

[BJ the DJ]

ok , that was also, like, first season

YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta.

I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick.

What.

I'm Rick.

No, no you're

RICK SANCHEZ

IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ.

well la-teee–

UNITY

You forgot about me, didnt you?

UNITY!?

That's why everyone is assimilated.

Damn, you're really good a dissociating?

Would you rather I not be?

CUT BACK TO:

Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the

World.

Right.

The broken, forgotten women that.

Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP.

She went back to him

NOOOOO

(but like, that was me)

Whatever. If you don't have kids, run!

Fuck it, if you have kids, run

just run at night and do it

Quickly

Just get out.

Quietly

Shhh.

Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around?

What? Huh *still fucked up*

You're high right now?

No, i”m not high

I mean

I Am

I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP.

What are you saying?

What i'm saying is;

I would get high on anything else but life right now

why