summary

In this heartfelt conversation, Jen and Lindsey Henke discuss the profound journey of grief and healing following the loss of Lindsey's daughter, Nora. Lindsey shares her experiences of writing her book, 'When Skies Are Gray,' as a means of processing her grief and maintaining a connection with her daughter. They explore the importance of storytelling, the concept of continued bonds with lost loved ones, and the therapeutic power of writing. Lindsey emphasizes the validation of grief and the significance of love that persists beyond loss, offering insights and support for others navigating similar experiences.

• Lindsey's book is a way to connect with her daughter, Nora.
• Writing became a therapeutic tool for processing grief.
• The concept of continued bonds allows for ongoing relationships with lost loved ones.
• Storytelling helps others feel less alone in their grief.
• Grief is intuitive and varies for each individual.
• The importance of validating one's own grief experience.
• Lullabies often carry dark themes, reflecting the complexities of love and loss.
• Choosing what to include in the book was guided by community sayings and personal significance.
• Books and stories can serve as lifelines for those in grief.
• It's essential to honor and process grief in one's own time.

Links: PALS - Pregnancy After Loss Support - Pregnancy After Loss Support

When Skies Are Gray: A Grieving Mother's Lullaby by Lindsey M. Henke | Goodreads

Watch the episode on YouTube: Navigating Grief through Writing with Lindsey Henke

Summary

Jessi Michel shares her heartbreaking story of stillbirth and her advocacy work to prevent stillbirths. She recounts the day her daughter Freya was born still and the emotional journey that followed. Jessi emphasizes the need for better education and awareness about stillbirth, as well as improved data collection and research. She discusses two bills in Congress, the Maternal and Child Health and Stillbirth Prevention Act and the Shine for Autumn Act, which aim to address these issues. Jessi encourages listeners to support these bills by contacting their congressional leaders.

Takeaways

Stillbirth is a devastating experience that affects thousands of families each year.

Improved education and awareness about stillbirth are crucial in preventing future cases.

There are two bills in Congress, the Maternal and Child Health and Stillbirth Prevention Act and the Shine for Autumn Act, that aim to address stillbirth prevention through enhanced data collection, research, education, and awareness.

Supporting these bills by contacting congressional leaders can make a difference in advancing stillbirth prevention efforts.

More funding and resources are needed to train pathologists in stillbirth autopsies and to provide better support for families who have experienced stillbirth.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Personal Story

21:33 Living with Loss and Finding Purpose

32:46 Advocacy for Stillbirth Prevention

43:00 The Urgent Need for Education and Awareness

48:15 Improving Research and Data Collection

51:26 Taking Action to Support Stillbirth Prevention

Links in this Episode:

*Stillbirth Support link to message congressional leaders: bit.ly/StopStillbirth

*To join Minnesota’s Stillbirth prevention advocacy groups: [email protected] or facebook group: Minnesota Stillbirth Prevention Advocacy

*SHINE for Autumn Act on socials: Instagram; Facebook, website

*Healthy Birthday, Inc on socials: Instagram; Facebook; website

*Measure the Placenta on socials: Instagram; Facebook; website

*Freya’s Hospital Library Wish list: tinyurl.com/FreyaLibrary

Childbirth is more than just that precious moment when a baby takes its first breath; it’s also about being fully prepared for everything that comes before. In today’s episode, we are thrilled to be joined by the Childbirth Advocate and Author of A Parent's Guide to a Safer Childbirth, Gina Mundy. In over 21 years as an attorney who specializes in childbirth cases, Gina has spent countless hours meticulously scrutinizing childbirth cases, conducting interviews with delivery teams, and thoroughly examining medical records to gain an in-depth understanding of every decision made during labor and delivery. These experiences paved the way for her writings, and her recently released guide is loaded with vital information that you probably won’t find in any other pregnancy book. Our conversation begins with Gina explaining her unique background in law and how it influenced her book. Then, we get a glimpse at the dangers of Pitocin misadministration before comparing the infant mortality rate and other statistics between America and other countries.  We also learn why fetal monitors are important, why and how Gina made her book less “scary” than other pregnancy books, how childbirth attorneys engage with stillborn cases, and the role of baby advocates. To end, our guest highlights the most important things for expecting mothers to be aware of, and she explains in detail why and how her book is going to positively impact the future of childbirth. 

Key Points from This Episode:

• Introducing the Attorney and Author, Gina Mundy.  
• Exploring Gina’s unique background in childbirth law and how it influenced her writing.    
• A closer look at her book, A Parent's Guide to a Safer Childbirth, and why she wrote it.  
• The Pitocin dilemma.  
• How statistics (like infant mortality rate) differ in America versus in other countries, and why. 
• Advocating for fetal monitors.  
• Why Gina prioritized making her book less scary for expecting parents to read.  
• How she and other childbirth attorneys engage with stillborn cases.  
• The top 5 things that every pregnant mom must know, including how to find the right doctor.  
• Assessing the role of a baby advocate.  
• Why Gina believes that her book, when read, will positively impact the future of childbirths.   

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: 

Gia Mundy  

Gina Mundy on LinkedIn 

Gina Mundy on Instagram 

Gina Mundy on Facebook  

Gina Mundy Email  

A Parent's Guide to a Safer Childbirth 

A Parent’s Guide to a Safer Childbirth Chapter One 

TNMD Law 

Haven 

Tellwell  

Being resilient in the face of unimaginable loss and choosing to heal and carry on is an unimaginably difficult task. Today’s guest has suffered incredible loss but she made the remarkable choice to take those hardships in her stride and create a platform to help other people through their grief. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about Barbara’s life, the loss of her infant son and 21-year-old son, and how she found purpose in creating support groups, as well as learn about her books, how she started to see her son’s life as a gift not just a loss, and so much more! We discuss some of the signs that your lost loved one is visiting you and Barbara tells us about the incredible signs she’s experienced before we delve into the importance of talking about your grief. Finally, Barbara tells us why she believes that healing is a choice and walks us through some of the first steps of resilience. As always, please listen with care and take note of the trigger warnings in the key points for this episode. 

Key Points from This Episode: 

• Welcoming Dr. Barbara Hopkinson with a brief overview of her background.  
• TW: For listeners who wish to skip Barbara’s account of the horrific loss she has suffered, please skip the audio between [00:01:55] and [00:04:36]. 
• TW: For listeners who wish to skip Barbara’s account of attempted suicide, please skip the audio between [00:08:18] and [00:09:01].  
• How starting The Compassionate Friends and A Butterfly’s Journey gave Barbara purpose.  
• When she knew that helping others would help her heal.  
• Why she views her son’s life as a gift, not just a loss.  
• Signs that your lost loved one is around you and why you need to remember them. 
• Insight into A Butterfly’s Journey, Faces of Resilience, and Barbara’s grief methodology.  
• Why it is healing to talk about your loss and connect with others who have experienced loss.  
• What it looks like to choose to heal and take the first steps of resilience.  
• An overview of Barbara's experience with mediums.  

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: 

Barbara Hopkinson on LinkedIn 

Barbara Hopkinson on Instagram 

A Butterfly’s Journey 

Free Song Download  

A Butterfly’s Journey on Facebook 

A Butterfly’s Journey on Instagram 

A Butterfly’s Journey on YouTube 

A Butterfly’s Journey: Healing Grief After the Loss of a Child 

Faces of Resilience 

Faces of Resilience 

ABJs Faces of Resilience on Instagram 

Faces of Resilience on Facebook 

Giving Hearts Day 

The Compassionate Friends 

Haven 

Tellwell  

For all of us – not just those who are dealing with loss – the holidays can be a troublesome period filled with overwhelming emotions and events. But navigating holiday landmines is as simple as always putting yourself first. Today, we welcome Hannah Stonehouse Hudson back to the show for the third time, as she shares some advice on how to get through the most emotionally-intimidating time of the year. We begin by learning how to properly plan for holiday gatherings, how to harness healthy holiday expectations, how to arm yourself with exit plans, and how the holidays (contrary to popular belief) are all about putting yourself first, especially if you are dealing with a new loss. We also discuss the importance of having check-in partners and an arsenal of canned responses before diving into the strategies for navigating holiday landmines and triggers. The remarkable Hannah Stonehouse Hudson shares tips on how to prioritize your own well-being in any given situation, and she explains why adequate self-care and finding joy in the holidays is easier to achieve than one may think. As ever, due to the sensitive topics discussed on this podcast, please listen with care. 

Key Points from This Episode:

•    For the third time on this podcast – a very warm welcome to Hannah Stonehouse Hudson. 

•    How to plan for holiday gatherings. 

•    Why it is important to have healthy expectations for the holidays, and what that looks like. 

•    The best exit strategy for uncomfortable holiday gatherings: just leave. 

•    Why you need to give yourself permission to feel the way you feel in any moment.

•    The value of a check-in partner, and why canned responses are your number one ally. 

•    Navigating holiday landmines and triggers. 

•    How to prioritize yourself when someone else needs the support that you’re not ready to give. 

•    Finding joy in the holidays once again; assessing what you need in/from any situation.  

•    Self-care: How to maintain mental, emotional, and physical health during the holidays. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: 

Hannah Stonehouse Hudson

Hannah Stonehouse Hudson on LinkedIn

Hannah Stonehouse Hudson on Instagram

Hannah Stonehouse Hudson on Threads

Hannah Stonehouse Hudson on X

Hannah Stonehouse Hudson on Facebook 

Time.Grace.Space

Stonehouse Photo 

‘Bonus Episode: LIVE The Many Ways we Grieve Loss with Hannah Stonehouse Hudson’

‘Episode 14: About the Grieving Process with Hannah Stonehouse Hudson’ 

‘Self-Care: What It Really Is | Susannah Winters | TEDxHiltonHeadWomen’  

Donna Ashworth

Haven

Tellwell 

In the tough journey of grief, getting to a place where we can accept our loss or a traumatic experience isn't easy, it takes time and real effort. Today, we have Heather Gilbert with us, sharing her raw and emotional story of navigating loss and grappling with depression afterward. She is 18 years into her life journey with loss, and presently a mother of four children with one in heaven. Join us as Heather takes us through the heart-wrenching details of losing her unborn child, planning a funeral two days into her postpartum trimester, and finding her way through life after loss. She shares her experience journeying through her second pregnancy and the moment depression ultimately took hold. Tune in to be inspired by Heather's resilient story through loss, life after loss, and beyond. Thank you for listening.

Key Points from This Episode:

•    An introduction to our guest, Heather Gilbert.

•    Heather takes us back to the very beginning of her story.

•    She takes us through the experience of losing her baby very close to her due date.

•    Planning a funeral two days postpartum. 

•    She details the journey of her second pregnancy and month after the loss of her first baby.

•    When the depression finally hit. 

•    What changed her suicidal ideation and led her to see a therapist.

•    She recounts her first experience with a psychiatrist.

•    Heather shares about dealing with a divorce, four years after the loss. 

•    When the tears broke through. 

•    How she found her way to a home church. 

•    Her encouragement to anyone going through trauma: don’t do it alone.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Haven

Tellwell 

Hope is one of the first casualties of loss, closely followed by a breakdown in faith. And while it’s necessary to experience grief to its furthest point, it’s just as important to recover your hope to begin living life to the fullest once again. We are thrilled to be joined by Rachel Lohman for today’s episode as she gives us behind-the-scenes access to her latest book, Miscarried Hope, a guide to help women who want to recover their faith after experiencing a loss. Rachel is also the Founder and Creative Director of Hope Again Collective, an online store that uses jewelry to tell the stories of moms who have suffered pregnancy and infant loss. Rachel details her miscarriage experience and explains what it means to be gifted with tragedy, before explaining where and how she found the moms whose stories can be found on her website, and why every one of the 250-plus stories is worthy of celebration. We also discuss how her work has been a catalyst for healing and growth, how loss breeds perspective, her intended purpose for Miscarried Hope, The five stages of hope, and how Silent Saturday replenished her hope reserves. If you’re struggling to give yourself grace and are looking for ways to restore your hope and faith after a loss, then Rachel has some important advice just for you! As always, please listen with care. 

Key Points from This Episode: 

•    Welcoming Rachel Lohman to the show as she briefly shares her background. 

•    Rachel’s miscarriage experience. 

•    What it means to be gifted with tragedy. 

•    How Rachel found the group of moms that influenced her jewelry line, Hope Again Collective.    

•    The many faces of grief: the stories and testimonials that she shares on Hope Again. 

•    Celebrating the 250 stories that she’s shared so far, and their accompanying jewelry pieces. 

•    How her work has been an avenue for self-healing and growth. 

•    Loss and perspective and being guided by faith. 

•    Rachel explains the purpose of her book, Miscarried Hope. 

•    The five stages of recovering hope: expectation, despair, shock, grief, and active hope.  

•    Silent Saturday: a pivotal moment in Rachel’s life when hope became bigger than fear.  

•    Her advice to moms who are in the early stage of questioning God and their faith.  

•    How to give yourself grace and why it’s important to do so. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: 

Rachel Lohman 

Rachel Lohman on LinkedIn

Rachel Lohman on Instagram

Hope Again Collective

Miscarried Hope

The Bridge

Haven

Tellwell 

Our internal dialogue is shaped as we journey through life, but by the time we reach adulthood, that inner voice often becomes negatively biased as a survival mechanism. Can we change this internal narrative to focus more on self-compassion? Leading a life guided by self-compassion can bring about remarkable transformations, but it requires practice. In today's episode, we delve into the concept of self-compassion with our special guest, Melissa Dahl. Melissa specializes in women's mental health, particularly maternal mental health. She is trained in various therapeutic techniques, including EMDR, DBT, Mindful Self-Compassion, PCIT, and the Attachment framework. Melissa offers Mindful Self-Compassion courses and works with post-partum moms and families. Join us as we explore what self-compassion truly means, the importance of validating our own experiences and emotions, and the skill of nurturing a kind inner dialogue. Melissa sheds light on the brain's default negative bias and the practice of mindful self-compassion. We also connect self-compassion to the processes of grief and loss while unraveling the emotional workings of the human brain. Get your journals ready and take notes as you listen to this incredibly insightful episode with Melissa Dahl. Thank you for tuning in!

Key Points from This Episode:

•    What is self-compassion: treating yourself like you would treat someone else.

•    The importance of validating your own experiences. 

•    Developing the skill of being kind with our internal dialogue.

•    How our brains default to a negativity bias for survival.

•    Mel talks about the practice of mindful self-compassion.

•    A good first step to flipping the switch of our internal dialogue. 

•    The beautiful path of relearning how to know ourselves.

•    Growing into a great version of yourself (one you love).

•    Why self-acceptance doesn’t mean we don’t hold boundaries with ourselves or others.

•    How to tie self-compassion to grief and loss: self-compassion works by identifying a feeling.

•    Mental gymnastics: the emotional brain and how it impacts the creation of self-blame.

•    Name it and feel it: moving toward a release. 

•    A real-life example; breaking down the situation and implementing self-compassion.

•    How we can work on and activate our attachment. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Mel Dahl on LinkedIn

Mel Dahl Email

Heal Well with Mel Podcast

Mindful Healing & Consulting

Haven

Tellwell 

As parents of loss and parents of earth-side children, some of us often wonder and worry if we are doing right by the ones left behind. A question many of us often ponder is, how do we balance honoring our child that is no longer here, while we still care for our emotions, our partners, and our living children? Our guest today is here to share some insightful and encouraging expert advice. Annie Pelletier is a Sudbury-based psychotherapist who specializes in assisting families who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss. While doing this type of work, she came to realize that there weren't many resources to support children affected by this type of loss; something that can impact them greatly. She then authored a great book for children called Missing Our Baby: A Story of Life and Love for Children Who Have Lost a Sibling Due to Pregnancy or Infant Loss, a passion project for her to support grieving children. In this awe-inspiring conversation with Annie, we hear about her own journey navigating postpartum depression and the traumatic experience of miscarrying her second child. She shares her thoughts on how she’s changed since her experiences, why she’s an advocate for talking openly about grief, and why she encourages special consideration of language when we have conversations with our children about grief. We also talk about how to navigate your growing (and changing) child’s journey with grief and why PTSD isn’t talked about enough. This episode carries a trigger warning for grief and infant and child loss so please listen with care. Tune in now for all this and more on today’s episode of Haven the Podcast.

Key Points from This Episode:

•    A diagnosis of postpartum depression.

•    Devastating news at the 12-week ultrasound of her second pregnancy.

•    Being an advocate for what is in her control. 

•    The difference in dealing with her own trauma versus her clients (as a psychotherapist).

•    How she navigates starting a grief-focused conversation with a child (aged 4-7).

•    Her thoughts on helping kids work through the grief process while also protecting them.

•    It’s okay for children to be sad; they have to embrace and understand their emotions. 

•    The importance of being present, as parents, in our conversations about loss with our kids. 

•    Thoughts on how to navigate the grief journey of our children (as they grow and change).

•    Informing teachers, or schools, about your family’s loss and grief approach and process.

•    Concerns surrounding the bottling up of emotions and grief in children and what to look for.

•    We talk about the concept of secure attachment.

•    Thoughts on why we aren’t talking enough about PTSD.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

LilAngelTribe on Etsy

LilAngelTribe on Facebook

LilAngelTribe on Instagram

Missing Our Baby: A Story of Life and Love for Children Who Have Lost a Sibling Due to Pregnancy or Infant Loss

‘A mourning orca mom carried her dead baby for days through the ocean’

Haven

Tellwell 

There’s a saying that bad things often happen in threes. But what happens when the worst version of that is the loss of three loved ones in the span of 3 years? How would you possibly navigate a world you barely even recognize anymore? Our guest today is Angie Hanson and she shares with us her story about navigating three rounds of loss and grieving, how she survived it, and how focusing on her daughter Gracie helped her move forward. She talks about the difference between slow hospice deaths and sudden death and shares with listeners her ugliest point, the rage bubbling inside her. We also hear about where her path led her and how she started her incredible sympathy card business, Butterflies and Halos. To hear more about how she navigated through tough times and where you can find her cards, start listening now. 

Key Points from This Episode:

•    We hear more about Angie Hanson and her story of the loss and grief of her son Garret.

•    How placing her attention on her daughter, Gracie, helped with moving forward. 

•    What their early weeks and months of grieving Garret looked like as a family. 

•    Angie shares what the extended journey of grief looked like for her and her family.

•    She shares about their fight with cancer and the death of her husband, Jack. 

•    How she dealt with the death of her brother two months after the death of Jack.

•    She talks about the difference between the slow deaths of her husband and brother versus the sudden death of Garret.

•    Angie talks about her ugliest point; being ragingly mad.

•    Amidst all the losses, Angie shares the happiness they experienced with her new marriage.

•    The talks they had to have with Gracie about loss and grieving.

•    Angie shares with us where her path of grief has led her. 

•    The story behind Butterflies and Halos; grief and joy coexist.

•    Some examples of what her cards say.

•    Where to find her shop, blog, and social media pages.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Angie Hanson Email

Butterflies and Halos

Butterflies and Halos on Instagram

Butterflies and Halos on Facebook

Butterflies and Halos on Etsy

Haven

Tellwell