Lasers on the Ride

In episode 31 of Lasers on the Ride Montreal comedienne Mariam Khan joins the podcast. She and Mike talk about looking racially ambiguous before she details a trip to Boston but really South Boston but really World War B. Mariam shares her love for Big Brother, Mike schemes his submission video, and Jay misinterprets the premise. The group discusses whether they’ve fallen into oedipus/elektra complexes in their relationships, play Ken vs Ryu, and speak on Brandon Lee and Kanye. Mariam teaches Danish and Jay teaches Maritimes and the Lasers introduce Mariam to the chit chat championships. Dating rears its ugly head, Mariam chronicles an evening with a cheap son of a bitch and they play Fudge It Pick a Record!

In episode 30 of Lasers on the Ride, Sleeping with the Wrong People, Mike brings out his Organized Noize playlist featuring deep cuts including one Lil’ Will jam from 1998 that sounds like 2008, maybe 2018, maybe 2098. They discuss regional sounds and 808s vs 909s, Akil recalls a romantic event in a romantic setting and they breakdown complexes. Akil rails against the Jehovah’s Witness and Mike rails against lakes and reminisces on his time in North Carolina. Comedian Mariam Khan rolls through and tells us a little about her stand-up career and the Montreal comedy scene before the group establishes when and how ethnicities are funny. To close out Mariam shares her love for Big Brother and the reasoning behind it and they rank Canadian comedians from zeros to Norm Macdonald.

Episode 29 of Lasers on the Ride kicks off with the Lasers discussing their stinky fridge, bad artist names and whether new Toronto slang is just Britain slang is just Old Toronto slang is just West-Indian slang. They discuss weed paranoia and then just general paranoia and pit fine bitch against fine bitch. Birks Fairview catches plenty Ls and the Lasers talk tv and Treach real quick. Jay tries to get Skinny and Mike to ride a dirt bike to hell (St Lazare that’s you) and introduces a gameshowquizz. Mike and Akil talk Raphael Saadiq, the name of Jay’s funk album and alternate rap names for Mike. They talk early days of the internet, brainstorm a horror movie premise called Dial Up, and go full bonkers to end the episode.

In episode 28 of Lasers on the Ride, Dirtwork’s Scene Tings, Montreal producer/manager/getitdone’r Dirtwork rolls through, bringing artist Treh LaMonte in tow. Dirtwork shares his background, speaks on his time spent in Atlanta and talks his come-up along side Montreal legend Bad News Browns and rapper/friend Magnum. The group discusses influences and influencers and preferences in this music stuff. Kanye is broached and they disagree as to the replay value of 808s and Heartbreak. They pick least favorite Kanye songs, talk Kanye’s character, and discuss/laugh as to who would win in Eminem vs Drake. Mike and Dirtwork discuss chords and process in production and agree that Drake didn’t have no goddamn ghostwriters. The gang discusses Montreal rap, the scene and its peoples, talks its politics and Dirtwork drops knowledge. They pick worst hat game, talk tucked ears and dad hats, and play what colour is Memphis Bleek’s du-rag? To close out Treh LaMonte talks his first musical influences.

Episode 27 of Lasers on the Ride, The Notorious Mookie Lee, sees the return of contributor KC and kicks off with the Lasers speaking on their roots, African mostly, and moves on to talk of Tiger Woods and other philanderers. Jay tries to spread The Arkells and gets rebuffed real quick and then tells a story of Coltrane that you have to hear to believe and then still be an idiot to believe. KC helps establish a theme song for the podcast and Jazz is discussed pretty heavily. The Lasers wind the episode down with an attempt at arriving at certain consensuses but ultimately fail – chaos reigns!!!!

In Sarah Jay Switches Lanez, episode 26 of Lasers on the Ride, Sarah Jay, Associate Editor-in-Chief at Hip Hop Canada, joins the Lasers to talk rap music and make some jokes. The episode kicks off when Sarah blows minds with the reveal of Jewish Sesame Street and delivers some insight into the Orthodox Jewish community in Calgary. The group speaks vices, whether weed makes you lazy (100% of moms say yes), and fashion blogs. Sarah names names on some rappers (MGK stand up) and the group clears the air between Sarah and Akil. Politics in Rap (trademark) is broached, Canadian rappers are discussed and the group talks circumcision, with Akil and Mike taking strong stances for and against. The group talks favorite rappers, calls out some least favorites, and plays what colour is Memphis Bleek’s durag?

In Multiverse, episode 25 of Lasers on the Ride, Mike reveals what plastic surgery he wants once he’s popping and Akil asks for advice on how to stick to his guns. They lose their minds discussing possible urban warfare scenarios, talk little kid producers, and mood board new hairstyles for Pusha T. To finish it off the Lasers come up with cute murder names for current/future/possibly crime ridden cities and Mike recalls his time on hella hard Delmar.

In episode 24 of Lasers on the Ride the Lasers start by broaching buddy cop scenarios and bad bad behavior at work before they wake up KC with weed and explain why you shouldn’t call someone buddy, buddy. They discuss inspiration and the creative process and then balls and then underpants and then balls again. Ken Griffey Jr helps Mike avoid pre-2-early-ejaculation and the Lasers re-examine the white man of the year awards. Mike remarks how he’s not interested in people’s opinions when it comes to his music-stuff and Jay remarks how he welcomes the attention haha.

In episode 23 of Lasers on the Ride Mike and Akil pick nominees for white man of the year and consider Jay for the spot. They talk fresh white tees and move on to discussions surrounding #BlackLivesMatter, Michael Jordan, and white men’s fear of black men’s prowess. The Lasers discuss parenting techniques and some of the reprimands they survived growing up.

In episode 22 of Lasers on the Ride Akil learns that he can properly punch and the guys explore various steam blowing mechanisms. The Lasers contrast Jay Z and Diddy and play a game to guess who ghostwrote some of Diddy’s most famous verses (J Cole poops the bed here). Jay tells a story of a job interview gone bad, the Lasers bring back Johnny Blaze apparel and discuss the likelihood that they were conceived near fire/hot tubs. They talk muz-ACK and Mike blows Akil’s mind/breaks his heart when he reveals that Bob Marley’s dad was white. Jay thinks bidets are a status symbol and reveals that he has never encountered a double sink bathroom...no but ever.