This week on Last Night We Watched, Brandon, Brett, and Matthew descend into cinematic madness with 1987’s The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, a film so baffling, so aggressively unpleasant, it left us questioning our life choices. From Captain Manzini’s suspicious mentorship, to sweatshop couture, to bullies who skip straight past teasing into attempted murder, we unpack every absurd, horrifying, and accidentally hilarious moment. Along the way, we debate which Kid is the least disgusting, discover the oxygen limit for wearing a Garbage Pail suit, and try to figure out if this movie was an elaborate prank on the audience. Think of it less as a review and more as a support group for the truly damaged.

This week on Last Night We Watched, the boys dive headfirst into 1987’s The Stepfather — a Lifetime movie with a low body count, a protagonist with a quick move to frontal nudity, and a tone that can’t decide if it's horror, Hallmark, or just horny.

Brandon tries to defend the "batshit charm" of Terry O’Quinn’s unsettlingly committed performance, while Matthew and Brett tag-team it with jokes, critiques, and pure bewilderment over the film’s Lifetime-movie energy, sudden nudity, and utter lack of suspense. From stepdads and suspicious psychiatrists to tragic music scores and true crime side quests, no topic is safe. Not even Drew Barrymore’s coke phase.

Bonus: A chaotic tangent on Mac and Me, food patriotism, and the sociological impact of “I’m the stepdad who stepped up” t-shirts.

🔪 If looks could kill, then you could be a stepfather, baby.

This week, the Mayo boys stare directly into the furry, dead eyes of the 2003 Mike Myers disasterpiece Cat in the Hat. What begins as a kids’ film spirals into a neon nightmare filled with inappropriate jokes, existential dread, and Paris Hilton for some reason. Brandon breaks down the cursed production history, including the fact that Mike Myers had to be legally threatened into wearing that human-hair suit, while Brett dreams of Fran Drescher and Matthew tries to explain why this movie is basically The Grinch’s weird cousin.

We discuss cat-based eldritch horrors, how Alec Baldwin’s character is five different men in one body, and why this film made Dr. Seuss’s widow cancel all future adaptations. Also featuring: worst lines of the movie, a heated Mike Myers vs. Jim Carrey debate, and a brief detour through McDonald's customer service in Germany.

Let’s be real — this wasn’t a movie. It was an event. And we may never recover.

This week on Last Night We Watched, we dive into Ti West’s slow-burn 80s throwback House of the Devil—a film where the real horror isn’t the blood ritual, it’s Tom’s pathological cheapness. Join us as we unpack how one man’s penny-pinching ways somehow lead to a demonic house-sitting gig, questionable pizza choices, and a suspiciously generous “just sit here and don’t ask questions” offer. Is Tom secretly the devil's budget coordinator? Was the real evil... bad negotiation skills? Tune in for the satanic rituals, stay for our absurd theories and retro horror appreciation.

This week, we dove fists-first into Cage—a movie that’s part underground fight club, part insensitive fever dream, and 100% baffling. Starring Lou Ferrigno as a brain-damaged Vietnam vet and Reb Brown as the most aggressively '80s sidekick(?) imaginable, this film raises a lot of questions—mostly: “How did this get made?” and “Why is this so casually offensive?” and "Who is this for?".

We unpack the film’s uneasy relationship with the Asian community, explore how our so-called "heroes" manipulate a mentally handicapped man into cage fighting for profit, and somehow still find time to marvel at Ferrigno's sincere performance trapped in a movie that has no idea what tone it’s going for.

Bring your disbelief and a stiff drink. You're gonna need both.

This week, we unpack the pastel-drenched, melancholically whimsical world of Wes Anderson’s The Royal Tenenbaums. We dive into dysfunctional genius, family trauma wrapped in vintage Adidas tracksuits, and the subtle art of deadpan delivery. From Margot’s smoky mystery to Richie’s tennis breakdown, we talk character arcs, absurd set design, and how Gene Hackman somehow makes being a terrible father so watchable.

Plus: Is Pagoda the real MVP? Does Owen Wilson's cowboy get enough credit? And what exactly is a Tenenbaum family meeting?

Grab your eyeliner and falcon, and join us as we laugh, cry, and try not to get hit by a BB.

This week on Last Night We Watched, we’re loading up on one-liners, explosions, and pure ‘80s action insanity as we take on Commando (1985)! Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as John Matrix, a retired special forces badass who tears through an army of goons to rescue his kidnapped daughter. Subtle? No. Ridiculous? Absolutely. Entertaining? Oh, you bet your last rocket launcher it is.

Join us as we break down the epic body count, over-the-top villains, and the sheer power of Arnold carrying an entire tree on his shoulder. Plus, we ask the important questions: Why does no one reload? How many muscles does it take to defeat a dictator? And is this the most dad-core action movie of all time?

This week on Last Night We Watched, we’re diving into the neon-lit, post-apocalyptic chaos of Double Dragon (1994)! Based on the classic beat-em-up video game, this action-packed (and wildly campy) adaptation throws martial arts, 90s cyberpunk aesthetics, and over-the-top villainy into a blender—whether it works is up for debate.

Join us as we break down the bizarre plot, questionable CGI, and the undeniable charm of Mark Dacascos and Scott Wolf as the Lee brothers. Plus, Robert Patrick as a bleached-blond crime lord? We’ve got thoughts. Is Double Dragon a misunderstood cult classic or just another casualty of the dreaded "video game movie curse"? Tune in and find out!

Last night, we revisited a 90s kids' classic—3 Ninjas! But let’s be real… where was the dad in all of this? And was there any actual karate happening, or was it just a lot of dramatic yelling and slow-motion flips? We break down the nostalgia, the questionable parenting choices, and why grandpa was the only one taking martial arts seriously, kinda. Grab your jelly beans and prepare for some "Rocky loves Emily!" energy as we dive into this childhood favorite (or fever dream?).

Sharpen your stakes and break out your crimping iron because this week, we’re sinking our teeth into the real Slayer—Kristy Swanson’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)! That’s right, we’re taking it back to where it all began, before the CW got its broody, angsty hands on her.

In this episode, we discuss why the original Buffy, with her valley-girl charm, Paul Reubens’ legendary death scene, and a peak '90s aesthetic, reigns supreme over the show (yes, we said it). Sure, Sarah Michelle Gellar had seven seasons to kick ass, but did she have a dance montage, a basketball dunking vampire, and Luke Perry rocking peak slacker hair? Didn’t think so.

We also get into the CW Effect—how the network turned vampires into smoldering diary-writers and whether every supernatural show really needs that much brooding. (Spoiler: It doesn’t.)

So grab your holy water, turn up the Totally Rad soundtrack, and join us as we defend the honor of the real Chosen One. Slayer purists, you might want to sit this one out.