Crack heads are on the loose. I could be living right next to a crack orgy but I wouldn't know because I wasn't invited. 

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Strep throat is for everyone, not just kindergarteners. Is Santa Barbara even real? Breathe, homie, because you're a miracle.   

Technical difficulties delayed the post but who cares because it's all good baby!  

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Cleaning your room only leads to disaster. Swinging Crocs at cocks. Non terrorist bombs. 

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Jesus makes a comeback. Shoutout to moms. Keys in the sky.

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My tree apology. Golf has no rules. Formula Uh is coming to Vegas baby. 

We frolf. We golf. And we always find trees. We also breathe in other peoples' sweat during some hot yoga. And I raise my frequency to kick my own ass.  

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Hey Hollywood, figure out the movie volume thing. Thanks. 

ESPN loves Tom Brady more than Tom Brady loves Tom Brady. 

Nature is faster than butt cheeks. 

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It was a staycation baby! And since it's a staycation with Clay it's really a Claycation. Chiefs advance. I pass out in public. Golf with balls and discs. And time to sell the Exploder. 

Ya boy went to church. Got a taste of the rowdy section. Then I hung out with my ex at a football game with some slippery wieners. 

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