Most first time parents are worried about being a parent. Will I screw up my kid? Will my kid hate me when they grow up? What kind of parent should I be? The list goes on and on. When we were pregnant for the first time, I was hoping there would instructions like there was for assembling the crib. Of course I had to have help in putting the crib together.
While there are hundreds of books available on parenting, none that I've seen really hits the mark. Which causes a sense of dread regarding the new borne. Really, will I screw this kid up?
Parenting is one of the most stressful jobs you'll ever take on in life. Not only are you constantly on duty, but you also are dealing with another human being who has a mind and a journey of their own. Unfortunately, just because you are their parent doesn't mean they will do what you ask them to do, share your opinion on things, or always be polite. Having a variety of tools, tuning into your natural guidance system and being self-aware are all things that can help you navigate this difficult, yet wonderful, adventure.
Self-care is an important part of being a healthy, happy parent. Knowing what you need to recharge your batteries, learning skills to help you deal with difficult situations and putting it all into practice will help you decrease stress and be at your best. When you focus on bringing out the best in yourself you automatically start to bring out the best in others.
The relationship you build with your child is going to influence whether or not they want to be part of your life when they are old enough to choose. This doesn't mean you have to become their best friend – you are still the parent after all – but it can help to guide you when you ask the question, "What's really important here." Knowing what kinds of things you do that give to the relationship and what you might be doing that is taking away can make a big difference when your child reaches the teenage years and your parent power has fizzled away.
Debbie Pokornik, Chief Empowerment Officer at Powerful Moms and author of several books including Vibrant, Powerful Moms (and dads too) shares her insights on how to raise kids almost stress frees when she visits Late Night Health.