Yup, this week we get up close and personal with the Mormon Missionary handbook. So ditch those toe rings and break out a ruler cuz those sideburns are looking a little shaggy. We also find out what more listeners said to get into the group, and learn about Lucifer's ATM machine. Join us!!

Music provided by Purple Planet: https://purple-planet.com.

Could today's title have something to do with a new Mormon Mad Lib??? Bow your head and say yes (cuz it has something to do with the temple too). We also read a few short letters and debut a brand-new segment that features creative responses from some of our badass listeners!!!

Music provided by Purple Planet: https://purple-planet.com.

This week we get to listen to Adam pull some really dick moves. But before that we read a few short letters, hear a listener's Journal Journey and Shelly reads a slam poem that's pretty slammin' (couldn't resist). Please join us!

Music provided by Purple Planet: https://purple-planet.com.

Yup, we're back in the temple with Eden's most dramatic thespian: Lucifer! Get ready to give Shelly your biggest golf clap for her amazing adversary impression. We also read a wild letter (buckle up) and pirate god even makes an appearance. Or perhaps we should say, "Even...Pirate God." Enjoy!

Music provided by Purple Planet: https://purple-planet.com.

We're back in the temple once again for the start of the riveting endowment movie, which turns out to pretty much be the regular ol' creation story with a bit of poetic license. We also roast a troll, talk like a pirate and Shelly stumps Mary on this week's FUMPOTD. Join us!

Music provided by Purple Planet: https://purple-planet.com.

This week we're still in the wacky LDS temple. If new names and endowment ceremonies are your thing (whatever those are) then you're in for a treat. There's also a FUMPOTD that Mary nails for a change. So pop a mint and get comfortable - we're going to the temple!

Music provided by Purple Planet: https://purple-planet.com

In this week's episode Mary learns about more mid 1990s Mormon Temple creepiness, er, rituals, this time involving inappropriate touching. Plus, we're also horrified to find out what Hitler is promised in his afterlife. There's also a FUMPOTD, and we want to remind listeners about clean and explicit "call of the day" ringtones for all Patrons and Marco Polo Channels members!

Music provided by Purple Planet: https://purple-planet.com.

We're finally FINALLY getting around to discussing LDS temple rituals. These are neither sacred nor secret since Shelly's spilling the beans on this goofy stuff. This will be part 1 of a multi-part series. We also have a great FUMPOTD and an inspiring letter to read. Please join us!

Music provided by Purple Planet: https://purple-planet.com.

In today's episode we get up close and personal with the cut and pasted splendor that is the Mormon Patriarchal Blessing. Is everyone throwing up in their mouths? Because that's the appropriate response. We kick things off with our good friend and Mormon history buff, Bryce Blankenagel. We also roast a troll or two, and stump Shelly with a FUMPOTD, courtesy, once again of Mr. Blankenagel. Bryce, are your ears burning? They should be.

Music provided by Purple Planet: https://purple-planet.com.

Looks like we needed to head back to the counseling couch this week for another session of "therapy without a therapist." Maybe don't try that at home. We also have a FUMPOTD courtesy of Alice, a "He Said What" that's particularly douchey and a letter from Cole that we think you'll find inspirational. It's a good time, y'all, so please join us!

Music provided by Purple Planet: https://purple-planet.com.