We are all people with something to offer and deserve to be treated as such. Listening back to this, I laughed, I cried, and I was thankful for all my fellow man. This week, it wasn't my story to tell, it was theirs. Open your minds, open your hearts, and shut the fuck up. Before we all die of Covid-19, let the record show that I, Wild Bill Helium am a good person who actually looks younger than he is.

The title refers to a joke, not me!!!!!1 So its my birthday tomorrow (today, really) and I'm gonna spend it in the best place on earth, my house! Let the good times roll. Probably finished as strong as I ever have on any podcast. From bell to bell this is me at my best.

Amid a global pandemic, I dialed in the help of two of my greatest friends to reminisce on the times that were good. There were no pandemics we couldn't overcome, we just manufactured DMT and our dads were gay. I've got plenty of audio to use from this recording, so we might have a bonus, and I would also like to do more of these with these same fellas and others in the future, so we'll see. I dunno, I could just die from COVID-19 lol.

Lets forget about the coronavirus and remember this iconic podcast. It's tough putting on such a show, but I really put on display my arena rock chops here. For your entertainment. Enjoy!

Wild Bill is hilariously self quarantined for what should be a celebration of a milestone. Oh well. The good times are over. There's so much I meant to talk about but didn't, that I may do a little bonus. Plus I barely leave my house and need a healthy outlet for my thoughts. Can't guarantee this is it, but it's better than nothing. The Coronavirus is out of control, and only one man can stop covid-19. Me.

Wild Bill is self isolating, and really into the coronavirus. It's one of the biggest pieces of my entire personality now. I'm a covid-19 aficionado. I also say some stuff about some movies or shows I saw recently, and prophesize that, for a while, shit is gonna be pretty dumb. Shout out to the 200,000 positive test cases out there, this one's for you.

I planned to save this one as a bonus ep, but decided fuck it. I'll release it. I need to focus on music anyway. This is an opportunity to feel like you're my room mate circa 2008. Find an illegal stream of Alpha Dog, cue up my commentary, and listen to me kind of just narrate the movie. I sometimes find a tangent here or there, but I mostly talk about how dumb this shit is. Frankie is the real bad guy of Alpha Dog.

Wild Bill Helium contemplates the eminent super tuesday results and why human existence is meaningless, talks about what kind of bullying is actually good, and the joys of sacrifice in relation to the responsibilities of parenting. This and more, live from Washington DC.

Wild Bill is not up to the task today, so he calls on a few unsuspecting Samaritans to help. Luckily, he's in the company of friends before long, and the people are happy to help. Look out for the new single "Gangster Shit" on all your streaming platforms. I mean, buy it if you can.

Wild Bill gets psyched for Wilder Fury II, previews a true crime mini episode he's put a few minutes of thought into, talks about guns, and teenage angst. This and more on today's episode of Laughing Gas.