My Mona Lisa Smile 😉. Pre-procedure
If you’re new to the Pod, my name is Laura and I’m a certified Feng Shui Practitioner, Curator and Stylist for you and your Space. Join me and my guests for conversations around lifestyle and wellness with a focus on living and curating our best lives. Subscribe for tips on mindful living! This hybrid Podcast & Newsletter originates on Substack where you can follow me for all the visuals, text and video. The Show is now on video with interview guests along with solo episodes so I encourage you to subscribe and watch on Substack and YouTube. For all my other content and services check out my Link-tree.
Welcome back to Where Feng Shui Meets Fashion! This Episode is about my Menopause, journey. I’m diving into laser therapy, HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) and lifestyle options. This may not sound very Feng Shui or Fashion related but stay with me because it is. Trust me, I can make anything about Feng Shui. It’s our relationship with our environment and the divine after all. Our bodies are our most intimate environment… Menopause is the great Equalizer! If you were born a woman, it’s coming for you too. Let me help illuminate a more empowering path.
Recently, I have Feng Shui’d everything in my life from my wardrobe to my home and vehicle. Now it’s my bodies turn…. Listen folks, the reality is that I’m 55 and I have been educating myself about Menopause for the last few years. Preparing for what I understand is the inevitable. I am aware I appear younger than my years but I own all 55 of them. I’ve read books, gone to Gynecological seminars, listened to podcasts on the topic and spoken with other women at different stages of Menopause.
In my teens and 20’s, I struggled with Endometriosis and other painful conditions associated with being a woman. I ultimately had to educate myself in order to advocate for myself. Those years were very challenging until I was able to self diagnose and convince doctors to properly treat me for Endometriosis. I learned to be my own council.
So a few decades later, I feel much more confident in my ability to advocate for myself as I enter this next chapter. From an Archetypal perspective; I am transitioning from maiden to chrone. I did not experience the motherhood archetype so it’s a bigger jump and I’m not quite fulfilled and done being a “maiden” so to speak. I’m feel like I’m in “no man’s” land. The in-between.
As far as my menopause journey, I’m in the process of figuring out where I land. Perimenopause is like menopausal limbo and it can last for years and years with varying degrees of symptoms. No one can tell you exactly how long it will last but your body. The final notice is when you stop menstruating for a solid 12 months.
I HAVE NOT personally experienced the typical mainstream symptoms like hot flashes, mood swings, brain fog, migraines, irregular periods, uncontrollable weight gain, loss of libido, night sweats or sleep disturbances. So I figured I was good and had more time on the clock. Yay! Meanwhile, many of my friends and contemporaries have experienced some or most of these symptoms and it doesn’t sound like fun.
What I have learned through my research, is that there are strategic ways to minimize, mitigate and even avoid a lot if not all of these symptoms. You have to get ahead of it though. I’m sharing my personal experience and options that were suited for me with the help of my doctor. We are all different and you should strategize with your doctor to explore the best options for you and your unique circumstances.
My actual symptoms turned out to be rather covert. I developed joint issues that began in my mid forties but I did not attribute them perimenopause. Neither did the medical professionals I sought out to help me. The more obvious culprit seemed to be years of wear and tear from figure skating, soccer and running. Running was my drug, my therapist and my friend until I was 47! When I was forced to give it up and I’m still not over it. I miss the high, the endorphins. No other form of exercise delivers that exact dose.
When I was 47, I woke up one day with both my knees on fire. I could barely walk. It was alarming. I went on to have an MRI and was referred to an Orthopedic surgeon and specialist who told me I had a torn meniscus in one knee and Osteoarthritis in both knees. Looking back, I suppose the Osteoarthritis should have been a clue that I was entering perimenopause. Loss of Bone density is a major symptom of menopause. It can be treated and even stopped in its tracks with the right solutions. Studies have shown that HRT, Supplements and resistance or weight bearing exercise can do wonders.
When I worked with the orthopedic surgeon, I got fluid removed from one of my knees along with a shot of cortisone to relieve the pain and inflammation. He didn’t suggest anything to do with my hormones though. He said if I wanted to be able to walk, I needed to stop running and no longer work on my feet for hours on end. He said my knees needed time to recover and I would never be the same again as far as running and jumping go.
Pictured here getting that MRI in 2017.
I was working in the furniture space at the time and it required me to be running around on my feet all day. I asked my employer if we could make concessions and they pressured me to quit. That same week my car was stolen and my apartment went up in flames. Don’t worry the fire department put it out and my car was found abandoned on the side of the road a few days later. That said, I ended that week unemployed and a little traumatized, but hey I was no longer employed or anybody’s b***h!
Pictured here cleaning up after the fire 🔥 in 2017.
My knees had been showing signs of discomfort and decline prior to this but it was intermittent and I didn’t take it seriously until I couldn’t walk. The universe has different ways to get our attention! My job wasn’t getting me anywhere as far as my Feng Shui practice was concerned and that was the whole point of the job! What do you do with furniture? You place and curate it. I had ambitions of meeting with corporate to be the Companies Feng Shui Lady ®️. It was a well known national Furniture brand. I’m not interested in naming them here but my ideas were not embraced and I was strung along by management until I was no longer useful. I had been promised the opportunity to meet with corporate and pitch my ideas but these were empty promises. The universe was simply nudging me to cut my losses and move on.
Sometimes spirit has to Nancy Kerrigan you, steal your car and blow up your life. How else would it get me to quit my job and take a different path? Cars and knees are both symbols of where you’re going and I was going the wrong way! I have been working for myself ever since but it hasn’t been easy. I’m still figuring out how to reach people with Feng Shui and I feel like the best way is to live and breathe it.
Ok back to the topic at hand, Perimenopause and Menopause. I needed to give you some context for my slow moving hormonal coup! My first signs became evident at 47 and now at 55, I recently went in for my annual exam with my OBGYN Regina. I asked her for bloodwork and whether I should explore HRT. If you are experiencing menopausal symptoms or in your late 40’s, you can start with bloodwork to learn what your hormonal levels are. Regina was puzzled as to why I was still on birth control at 55. She had been trying to ween me off for a few years but I’m stubborn and felt if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. It took me years to find the perfect hormonal cocktail of birth control that suited me. I was in no hurry to give it up. It also serves as a form of HRT that helps with perimenopause so I didn’t want to mess with it because I felt pretty great overall. I take the Nuva ring and I absolutely love it. Zero side effects compared to oral contraceptives which were a nightmare for me. They killed my libido, messed with my ph and dampened my mood. The Nuva Ring was a miracle drug for me that resolved all the aforementioned issues and even enhanced my sexual response. Because of my Endometriosis, I have to be on birth control whether or not I’m sexually active. That said, I have no idea if my periods are real or the product of being on birth control. The only way to find out is going off birth control which can be a hormonal rollercoaster.
I asked Regina if she could guarantee that I can’t get pregnant and she could not but she said the likelihood was extremely low. Like 5 percent or something. I want to emphasize that the idea of being a 55 year old with a love child is not on my vision board. I reminded her that I also need it for my Endometriosis. She reminded me if my periods are done then it’s a mute point. Because Menopause actually solves the issue of Endometriosis. No more periods, no more Endometriosis. So I am embarking on a hormonal roller coaster to find out where I land on the Perimenopause or Menopause spectrum. My doctor is taking me off the ring! Adios Nuvaring! We had a great run.
Regina had me fill out a questionnaire regarding my menopausal symptoms and I barely had any. But when she was giving me my Pap-smear she noticed that my vaginal tissue was thin and would easily tear and bleed which is a red flag for perimenopause. As you lose estrogen, you lose collagen and elastin and elasticity in your vagina and elsewhere. Your vaginal tissue can thin making sex painful and leading to other issues like atrophy and infections. I was confused because my libido is still going strong but this was a clear sign of the tides changing. She suggested a non-hormonal minimally invasive laser treatment called The Mona Lisa Touch. It’s this big laser wand they apply to the Vagina and vulva for about 5 or 10 minutes to stimulate tissue renewal with dramatic and lasting results! It addresses the core issue by stimulating and rebuilding your collagen and elastin and elasticity for lasting results. Following the treatment, you will be pretty sensitive for a few days and you need 3 sessions 6 weeks apart with about 3 days of recovery after each treatment. I said sign me up! I’d heard about all the inconvenient hormonal estrogen creams and I wasn’t interested in them because you run the risk of exposing your partner to female hormones, they aren’t conducive to impromptu sex, and they are a surface treatment that only address the symptoms and not the root cause. Based on my research, I’m not against hormone therapy but this application seems inefficient, messy and has risks.
The only issue I had with moving forward with the Mona Lisa Laser solution is that insurance doesn’t cover it and it’s like $3000. It’s considered a cosmetic procedure which is total b******t. Meanwhile they prescribe and cover Viagra for men like it’s a life saving candy and for women these messy less effective more dangerous hormonal creams.
Regina said “We have a May special for just $2400.” I knew my father would help me if I could find a way to explain it to him as medically necessary without being too graphic. I had to make a case for it that was not sexual. Regina said “It will prevent you from ending up in diapers one day “. That and I can have sex well into my twilight years! I had her supply me with a medical document and price quote to send to my father that wasn’t too graphic and emphasized the health benefits. I mean how do you ask your dad for help treating your vagina so you can have a better sex? I’m not having that conversation! I scanned the document and sent it to him and he was cool with it. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. I was so relieved. To me this is a life saving procedure for my love life. It gives me the will to live a long romantic life. I’m single and I am doing this with the intention of sharing my life and bed with someone. Fortunately, I didn’t have to explain any of this to my dad. He didn’t ask too many questions about my gynecological issues other than “Are you sure insurance won’t cover it?”.
Today I went in for my bloodwork results and to have the Mona Lisa Touch procedure that my father had agreed to pay for. Before the procedure, Regina sat with me to discuss my blood work. The results were shocking considering how good I feel. Turns out, I have pretty much zero testosterone and yes women produce and need testosterone. My estrogen levels were also exceptionally low. Worst of all, I had alarming cardiovascular results reflecting that I am at high risk for a heart attack. Ok. My Mother just died of heart issues and my father had a quadruple heart bypass surgery some years back that saved his life. Let’s just say my family has “heart “ issues. How apropos. I do recall having a heart screening in my thirties and doctors detecting a heart murmur but I never pursued it because you know I felt fine. I may need to make adjustments to my diet and I definitely need to go see a cardiologist. Awesome news! It’s amazing how great I feel meanwhile, my blood work tells a different story! The moral here is that it’s good to have a full diagnostic check up, especially if you’re over 50.
So now that I know my hormones are a little wacky I can proceed accordingly. Regina suggested that since I basically don’t have any, I should start on Testosterone therapy right away as in today right after my laser therapy. And when I return for my second Mona Lisa treatment we could check my bloodwork again to see how I am responding to the testosterone and what my levels look like when I’m not on Birth Control. She said the Testosterone would enhance mental clarity, muscle tone, bone density, weight management and libido. This should help with my joints and my mental acuity and motivation. Coupled with the laser treatment I will be operating at a whole new upgraded frequency. She said I may or may not even need Estrogen and we would know in a couple months. So I had both procedures done in one day.
I was nervous, but if you are considering having either of these treatments, I don’t want you to be. Let me first explain how it went with the Laser treatment aka The Mona Lisa Touch. I read a lot about it to prepare myself and I suggest you do too. It’s recommended that you wear lose comfortable clothes the day of the procedure. I wore a comfy oversized army green onesie jumpsuit. Green and pantsuits are Wood element in Feng Shui. A great element for growth and getting things done. I get a lot of compliments when I rock this look. It’s funny because it’s not figure conscious or sexy but it’s “cool” and people respond favorably to me in this look. I feel like a badass.
Besides the outfit, I ate a hearty meal before the procedure because I didn’t want to feel hungry or anymore vulnerable than necessary. I’m pictured at the top of this story in a pretty pink hospital gown that my Obgyn Regina gave me to wear before my “procedure”. I’m also wearing my chakra crystal mala beads for the occasion! I call this hospital chic!
The actual procedure is similar in nature to when you get a Pap-Smear, you’re naked in a gown with your legs spread in stir ups. They do however numb all the external tissue of your vulva and the immediate entrance of your vagina to offset any discomfort from the laser. I didn’t love the initial feeling of the numbing cream because it felt prickly but quickly went from prickly to numb. They give it a few minutes to kick in. Then comes the magic wand which is connected to this large intimidating machine. The laser wand itself is not huge or crazy though.
At the beginning of the MonaLisa Touch Laser procedure, I was holding a small dixie cup of water in my hand. So when Regina inserted the laser, it was vibrating and tingling in a startling way that caused me to splash some of that water in a spastic motion. It made me and the 2 nurse practitioners in the room laugh. This lightened the mood and I relaxed into the procedure once I realized the level of pain was minimal. It wasn’t particularly painful just weird and prickly. You feel these little Zaps that make a crackling sound. It’s mildly uncomfortable but quick! 5-10 minutes. After it’s over you will feel a little itchy and irritated but not like you need anything more than a martini to take the edge off. They put some medicinal gel on the area and give you a tiny ice pack to put in your underwear. I was fine until I put that ice pack in my panties! This was the most uncomfortable thing I experienced that day. I don’t recommend wearing the ice pack in your underwear! It’s only if you really need it and I would wait until you get home because it’s hard to walk around like that.
Next up; Testosterone! You can get a shot in the ass every month or a tiny rice size slow release testosterone pellet injected into your hip which lasts up to 6 months. I went with the pellet. Regina numbed my hip area with a numbing injection and that hurt but it wasn’t terrible or long lasting. She then shot the pellet into my hip as I layed on my side with my ass facing the medical staff and my face staring into the wall. It’s awkward and funny and quick. I felt a little shaky, emotional and nauseous after completing both procedures but that feeling mellowed out once I was home in my cozies with my kitties. My vagina feels slightly sunburned and I plan to take it easy for a few days.
Pictured here: I am recovering with my Kitty Cinnamon and a Greyhound…
My hip is also pretty sore from the pellet and I was informed you can’t take a bath or exercise for about 3 days. You also can’t remove the bulky bandage that keeps the pellet in place for 3 days while it absorbs into your system. I can shower, I just can’t submerge in water. Obviously, I am not supposed to have intercourse for at least 3 days. Not a problem since I am currently single, however I did just match with a gentleman on Tinder and who knows what the future holds! All right everyone, I’ll keep you posted on my journey and I encourage you to subscribe and share this with anyone who might benefit. Many Blessings & Ciao for now!
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