We’ve inherited so many ideas about what sex should look like — who should initiate, what arousal should look like, how sex should end, and what counts as “good” sex.

But what if a lot of these expectations are creating pressure rather than pleasure?

In this episode, Zoe explores some of the culturally entrenched narratives around sex and why shifting our focus away from performance, outcomes and expectations can open up a much more expansive experience of sexual pleasure.

Zoe also covers the science of sex:

Different types of desires

The Orgasm Gap & the elusive ‘G-Spot’

Arousal Non-concordance

The Dual Control Model

*Apologies for my voice - I was so congested when I recorded this epi!

Connect with Zoe:

Web: www.zoecox.com.au
Instagram: @layersoflovepodcast

Free Relationship Resources: https://zoecox.com.au/free-resources/

Link to Zoe's Tedtalk: Sustaining Intimacy through parenthood

Research shared in episode:

Two amazing books by Emily Nagoski:

 –  Come as You Are

 – Come Together

Stats around the orgasm gap: Koechlin, L., Sartorius, G., Gonin-Spahni, S. et al. Exploring the Orgasm Gap in Heterosexual Sex: A Swiss and European Online Survey. Sex Roles 92, 58 (2026). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-026-01693-8

Layers of Love is produced on the lands of the Gundungurra and Wiradjuri people. We pay respect to their unique and diverse cultures and to elders past, present and emerging. 

Reassurance is undoubtedly one of the most valuable ingredients in helping a partner feel secure and loved. But sometimes the thing we say because we love our partner and want to make things better, is exactly what makes them feel worse. So in moments of emotionality, what if leading with reassurance is actually getting in the way of our partner feeling understood?

In this episode, Zoe explains why we jump to reassurance so quickly and what we can do instead to ensure our partner feels heard.

Connect with Zoe:

Web: www.zoecox.com.au
Instagram: @layersoflovepodcast

Free Relationship Resources mentioned in episode called: Making The Hard Conversations Easier - A Video Series

Link to Zoe's Tedtalk: Sustaining Intimacy through parenthood 

Layers of Love is produced on the lands of the Gundungurra and Wiradjuri people. We pay respect to their unique and diverse cultures and to elders past, present and emerging. 

Zoe introduces THE MOST IMPORTANT SKILL we can develop within intimate long-term relationships and explores why telling the truth — even when it’s scary — is essential for trust, intimacy and lasting connection.

Connect with Zoë: 

Web: www.zoecox.com.au
Instagram: @layersoflovepodcast

Free Relationship Resources: https://zoecox.com.au/free-resources/

Layers of Love is produced on the lands of the Gundungurra and Wiradjuri people. We pay respect to their unique and diverse cultures and to elders past, present and emerging. 

Zoe explains 8 actionable qualities of a healthy partnership based on 20 years of longitudinal research. Learn how your relationship can go the distance and feel contentment and connection in the process.

Connect with Zoë: 

Web: www.zoecox.com.au
Instagram: @layersoflovepodcast

Free Relationship Resources: https://zoecox.com.au/free-resources/

Layers of Love is produced on the lands of the Gundungurra and Wiradjuri people. We pay respect to their unique and diverse cultures and to elders past, present and emerging. 

From navigating menstrual cycles as a couple to sexual pleasure and everything in between - take a listen to what this podcast is all about and the topics Zoë believes are most important to allow long-term relationships to thrive.

Connect with Zoë: 

Web: www.zoecox.com.au
Instagram: @layersoflovepodcast

Free Relationship Resources: https://zoecox.com.au/free-resources/

Layers of Love is produced on the lands of the Gundungurra and Wiradjuri people. We pay respect to their unique and diverse cultures and to elders past, present and emerging.