There is really nothing good on television now! Well. Depending on how you view it.
Actually lessons in leadership, relationship and respect are abundant if viewed from the right context.
Like you, I am also tired of the lack of leadership and bs that has been clouding our airwaves. But truth be told, there are some salient lessons that can be gained from television of the day.
I’ll highlight a few starting with listening.
Listening skills are an important part of effective communication. To be clear, hearing is the physical ability, while listening is a skill. Listening skills helps you to make sense of and understand what another person is saying. Actively listening helps to build trust and encourages the speaker to feel valued. Body language speaks volumes too when listening. And clarifying questions helps to ensure you get the message someone is trying to share. It also shows respect for the person sharing their thoughts which is a piece of them. Build better relationships by listening better.
A good leader actively listens. With so much going on today, it’s easy to be quick in your listening; dismissive even. Slow down and ensure not only that you received the message, but that the other person knows you received the message. I’ve had to learn this lesson myself. Though I may have gotten what was shared, if the other person doesn’t recognize I’ve gotten it, it still seems dismissive. Succinctly, It ain’t about you!
I mentioned actively listening shows respect. We saw this when Senator Jeff Flake ,last week listened to Ana Maria in the elevator. Now he may have hung his head in shame. But he listened. It may have been difficult for him. He may not have even wanted to hear her message. But he listened. This was in direct contrast to the lack of respect showed by Senator Hatch when those women confronted him on the elevator. The only listening and acknowledging he showed was to shoo the women and tell them to “grow up.” I’m sorry. Senator Hatch, your blatant disrespect and dismissive hand gesturing was precisely what a leader should not do; and make you an ass. Some have lost the notion of civility in today’s politics and relationships. As a citizenry, we elect our officials and have inalienable rights to confront them. While screaming and shouting may not be the best route to take, a leader should control his or her emotions and respond with respect. The disrespect shown by Senator Hatch is precisely what women are fighting about. Equality and inclusivity.
Now. Speaking of controlling our emotions and the bs on television… Judge Kavannaugh was not in control of his emotions during the investigation hearing. Irrespective of the outcome, we are clear he was not in control of his emotions. When you’re not in control of your emotions, you often make bad decisions. Decisions that later you wish you could take back. His emotional response and consequently disrespect for Amy Klobchar will haunt him for a long time to come. Had he maintained his composure, he may have responded more appropriately and wouldn't have to worry about this moment being played and replayed for the remainder of his career. Mark my words. We will see this moment well into the days and years of his career.
When leading, make sure you are always in control of your emotions. Thinking before speaking and ensuring you say what you mean. Often when emotionally speaking, we can get words mixed up or speak less than clearly making it easy to have our words taken out of context. Control your emotions, so that you can control your message.
When Kavannaugh closes his eyes for the last time, as public a figure as he is now, we will surely see this moment of uncontrollable emotion replayed as a part of his historical narrative. Whether politics, sports or anywhere else, people and leaders fair much better when they can control their emotions. Simply stated, Control your emotions, so that you can control your message.
The last point I’ll bring up is empathy. And more than ever, this is what we need right now. Leaders you’re in a place similar to when Trump won the election. Look! Let’s face it! Trump’s win along with his Presidential antics has changed this country. Like it or not, he has changed our democracy, if not our humanity. And he’ll continue to change one or both. His antics cause people to be enraged; to lose control of their emotions. And on one hand, I understand. For instance, His slogan, Make America Great Again” just gets under people’s’ skin. To borrow a concept from a friend. It gives those that love him a big ol’ hug, while giving the middle finger to those that dislike him, at the same time; behind the backs of those that love him, so they can’t see. And, as The US President to ALL Americans, historically this hasn’t been done. He has changed the playbook. And it seems he’s not interested in the art of listening to those that speak a different language. Just making those that don’t like him emotional. Remember what you can and can’t do when you’re emotional.
His MAGA approach is based on a 1950s America. Now You… My listeners are Americans, Africans, Latino, White, Black, Straight, Gay, Male & Female. Unfortunately, the 1950s was great for only a few of you in this country. If you are the White, straight, male listener, you’re good. If you’re the White female listener that’s more than willing to play the role of Mrs. Cleaver, you too are golden. However, if you don’t fall into these two categories, you my friend would not fare too well during the “GREAT” times President Trump speaks of. And that is where empathy comes in. When people get incensed by the slogan, it is because of the era it speaks of. One that lacks equality. One that lacks of integration. One that was oppressive. Be empathetic to those that have a different view. Put yourself in their shoes and truly try to understand. It’ll make you a better leader; a better person.
Crowds love what they think is his lack of emotional control and chalk it up to his authenticity. Unfortunately, a large portion of America has become fine with him mocking the disabled and or disrespecting and dismissing women. I on the other hand find it rather calculating. You see it emboldens, encourages and pumps up his supporters. While making those that don’t support him enraged. And when you’re enraged, you can’t control your emotions. You can’t be empathetic. You can’t think; you just do.
His MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN has moved us to the notion that nirvana is somewhere around the America of the 1950s. This is not a pleasant vision for all Americans. And while he may espouse this is not his vision, it is in-fact what his followers believe. Listen with an empathetic ear now. Black & Brown & LGBTQ people are finding it to stomach the President because his rhetoric and antics mock non-white males.
Whether how we conduct ourselves outwardly and in execution. Again, like it or not, for whatever reason or by whatever means, he is the President. And with that comes the ability to set the tone. And set the tone he has done since day-one in office. You may not like it, but 40%+ of Americans; of voters do. And that’s what rules the day.
Dems hate it. And while I know plenty of Republicans that don’t like him; don’t like his antics. Many love his policies. There is a policy that could benefit urban communities, innovators and farm communities across the US, if forethought and leadership are exercised. Opportunity Zones.
Don’t know about them? Maybe we’ll have a show on them. See how over $6 trillion dollars in capital gains will be infused into what has been historically underutilized areas. But be careful. Lest you wish to get displaced, you’ll need to be diligent, thoughtful & strategic in how those dollars are utilized.
As Americans we can choose to act a fool, or take action based on the data; the programmatic changes that have and are occurring. Controlling emotion, exercising empathy, strategizing and driving whatever your desired reality is. This is living the American Dream.
Remember, Leadership is Personal. And Better Relationship Equals Better Results.
