Happy New Year, 2025!

In the fall of 1997, I uploaded my first audio under the tagline “Leaning Toward Wisdom.” It was my documentary, the journey of a 40-year-old dad desiring to pass along whatever lessons I might. Twenty-seven years later, I’m still unsure how successful the quest has been to lean more toward wisdom and away from foolishness. But life ain’t over yet, so let the leaning (and learning) continue.

Thank you for joining the journey. I hope it benefits you.

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It started with a voicemail from a client. His message said, “I’ve got a situation – a problem. I could use your advice. Call me back.”

The problem? A relationship. A couple of relationships. At some point during my questioning him, for my understanding, he stopped and said, “What I thought was the problem may not be the problem. Guess I’d better make sure I’m solving the right problem, huh?”

That’s solid insight – especially when it’s a relationship problem.

During the holiday season, relationships are often strained. It might be a good time to examine how we solve our relationship problems.

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“My ambition didn’t allow me to fail,” said Jack Barsky, an ex-KGB spy who was a sleeper agent in the United States.

Barsky was quite successful in avoiding detection. Until he was, then no amount of ambition would prevent authorities from moving in. He stayed around his smart spots for years, navigating North American culture to spy for the Soviet Union and his faith in communism.

Barsky might argue that over time, he learned how corrupt and wretched communism was – and how he had been brainwashed to think the pursuit of Utopian socialism was the ideal course of action. Armed with high intelligence, Barsky figured out the need for his smart spots to change, so he changed his mind to become politically a modern-day conservative.

We usually think of being smart around spots regarding achievement in business or some other pursuit. Barsky reminds us that being smart around spots can – and probably should be mostly focused – on our learning ability. To see things more clearly. To remedy our delusions.

Too few of us are geniuses; even genius has a severe downside. Sometimes, we can be too smart to be wise. We may even become stupid in our genius. I’m thinking of serial killers like Ted Bundy, reputed to be high-IQ individuals who arrogantly thought they were smarter than law enforcement. But they were caught by mostly average intelligent people who stayed focused around their spots of expertise and training. With enough time and sufficient clues to follow, law enforcement often (thankfully) figures it out. As we’ve all heard about criminal behavior, criminals must remain lucky daily, while law enforcement often just needs one moment of luck to capture them.

Thankfully, most of us aren’t Soviet (or even American) spies. Or criminals. We’re just ordinary Joes and Janes going about our everyday lives. I’ve realized that it may be an act of genius to a) recognize our smart spots, b) stay around those smart spots, and c) understand if/when those smart spots disappear or change. All of it is hard. Thomas Watson’s quote makes it sound far easier than it is. And given IBM’s success, I have little doubt he mostly accomplished it.

Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon, is said to have this quote posted on his refrigerator…

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

Perhaps Mr. Watson’s quote and that quote attributed to philosopher and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson are consistent. But Emerson’s quote sounds more difficult, doesn’t it? Seems downright daunting!

Truth is, life is daunting. Success is hard. Failure is harder! Choose your hard.

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https://randycantrell.com/inside-the-yellow-studio/

The link above is a comprehensive list of the gear inside The Yellow Studio. Assume every link is an affiliate link.

Ironically, I chose to make this an audio, not a video. Yes, that was intentional. I hope you’ll click PLAY.

It started in 1997. This podcast. It was a handheld Olympus digital recorder. No SD card. Just built-in memory. It was less than $100 and I’d been using it for a while to dictate work notes and ideas.

Audio was easy. And cheap.

Well, recording it was easy. Getting it online was a bit more cumbersome. Getting it off the Internet to listen was infinitely more difficult because we knew nothing of MP3, today’s defacto standard audio file format. My digital recorder used some funky format, but it was still possible to hear it from a website with a domain name a foot long, comprised of a bunch of letters and numbers (a free web page that came with my Internet service provider – ISP – Flashnet). Somebody other than my family found it because my first email came from somebody in Sweden. It blew my mind.

It was all done with a digital recorder, a dail-up modem, and an Internet connection. Add in a bit of rudimentary HTML skills, so I could build an ugly website, and you had the first iteration of Leaning Toward Wisdom. I dubbed it that because it was what I was trying to do – lean more toward wisdom and away from foolishness. I was 40 years old and that was 27 years ago.

Within a few years, I got serious. I registered LeaningTowardWisdom.com and invested a few thousand dollars (okay, probably closer to three thousand) for a rack of equipment and a couple of Heil PR40 mics (an amateur radio operator friend recommended them). That was The Yellow Studio for many years, recording into a Mac computer using software I can’t remember until I found Twisted Wave, a Mac audio recording/editing software recommended by a voiceover actor friend.

I bumbled along for a few more years. My audio quality was a point of pride and I was regularly complimented for it thanks mostly to good room acoustics thanks to a ton of books AND to Aphex 230 voice processors (one for each mic, I had two). My broadcast workflow meant that whether I was on Skype (later Zoom) or recording, my audio quality was always the same.

I went for years without investing anything more. That rack of gear and those two Heil microphones were stapmles inside The Yellow Studio for years. Audio was easy. And after that initial investment, cheap. The ongoing costs were maintaining domain names and website hosting (I hosted my own audio files for years before learning I should get a media host). Eventually, I found MapleGrove Partners thanks to a buddy, Jim Collison. They would host my site and my media files because they’re podcast-friendly like that. But beyond that, I had no real costs.

People entered podcasting trying to figure out how to do it as cheaply as possible and I never understood it. I don’t hunt. Or fish. Or bowl. Or golf. I don’t collect anything (well, I once collected books…but only to read). I had no hobbies except this. That’s still the case. Buddies who were into all of those things (and more) would regularly spend hundreds or thousands of dollars every year. Most of them weren’t wealthy. They were just ordinary guys who enjoyed whatever they were in to. They didn’t think twice about investing in hobbies they loved. I loved podcasting and I had saved for a good while before buying my initial setup. Admittedly, I made a sizeable investment, but it was calculated, planned and well thought out. It stood the test of time, too. I produced untold podcast episodes with that rig.

Then Rode, an Australian company, bought Aphex, the makers of my favorite vocal strips, responsible for how my podcast sounded. It didn’t affect me…until it did. Around 2019, Rode introduced a mixer with Aphex technology built in. Wait a minute, what? My thousands of dollars in a rack that sat just to my right could all be replaced by a single little mixer that would sit on my desk. All that cable could be replaced by just a few cables. I could connect my iPhone to it and take/record phone calls. And all for less than $1000. Sign me up.

My audience here at Leaning Toward Wisdom helped me buy it. It was my first time ever asking for anything, but boy did the crowd respond. I was grateful. I knew I’d sell my rack of gear and more than offset buying that first Rodecaster Pro, but I needed the Rode mixer before I unplugged and sold everything or The Yellow Studio would be down. I didn’t want to miss a beat and the audience stepped up in a big way.

In June 2021 I launched a new podcast – I had long had two, Leaning Toward Wisdom and Grow Great (my work podcast). This one was about a newly found favorite place, Hot Springs Village, Arkansas. I first discovered the Village in the Fall of 2018. We kept visiting and loving it more and more each time. It’s such a unique place I had so many questions that I couldn’t find answers to, I decided to find the answers and do it via a podcast, Hot Springs Village Inside Out. I dubbed it that because of 26,000 acres of awesomeness inside the Village and many miles of coolness outside, too. I recruited a guy who appeared to be right for a co-host, a Native Arkansas guy who lived in the Village and seemed to know quite a bit. He’d be my resident expert and I’d be myself, the naive curious guy who loved the place.

So it began. And it grew. And grew some more. In time, it was the first podcast I’d ever done that I even thought about monetizing. We said YES to two sponsors (advertisers). They help us pay the bills and provide my co-host and me with what amounts to really crappy paying part-time jobs, but we could not be happier! They’re great.

About 18 months ago I started getting itchy to elevate our show about the Village. It’s such a spectacular place audio just doesn’t do it justice. Our audience is largely folks who have never visited the place, but are interested in coming to visit. Some want to check it out to see if they might want to make it home. Besides, I wanted to capture the beauty and vibe of the place. That was going to require video.

I’m an old audiophile who spent almost all my adult life in and around great-sounding stereo systems. So it’s no surprise that audio was my cup of tea. At the same time, I have to confess that when I was in junior high I got a super 8mm camera. Fifty feet of film, that had to be professionally developed, produced about 3 minutes of video. I had a projector, too. I shot as much video as I could afford, which wasn’t very much. My video bug goes way back, but audio was just more practical, more portable and cheaper.

Hot Springs Village deserved and demanded video. I began a major research project. I asked millions of questions of dozens of photographers and videographers. I took copious notes. I kept asking questions. This was not going to be cheap! Some guys suggested gear that I knew I’d never able to operate. Others try to shoehorn me into how they’d do things, but none of them were producing the kind of show we were – and the one I most wanted to produce. I was growing increasingly frustrated with all the contradictory advice and I knew I’d also have to wrangle my extroverted, unfocused co-host so I kept pushing the research forward. All the way stowing away some money.

I decided to ask my audience if they wanted to help. Why not? I told them why. They responded. I was aiming at $1000, full well knowing I’d invest more than that. When I got kinda close to that number I stopped asking and pulled back. I was going to make this investment, Lord willing, but I had to make sure I was buying gear we’d use. And gear we’d use a lot.

During all this I was struggling to get re-engaged with my HSV Inside Out podcast. A variety of obstacles disrupted my flow with the show. Selling a house we’d lived in for over 20 years. Moving into an apartment not far from where we’d lived. Buying a house in Hot Springs Village. Moving whatever wasn’t in our apartment into the new house in Arkansas. Juggling client work, a nice problem to have. Along the way the vibe of the show about Hot Springs Village wasn’t going at all as I had planned so I was wrestling with more moving parts than I was used to. I’m focused. Purposeful. Intentional. Mostly, I’m strategic. Those weren’t things I was able to deploy with this podcast I loved so much. Instead I was taking a backseat and surrendering my original goal and vision — and I was growing more and more intent on getting things back on track. Video was going to help me do that. It was going to be a financial investment, a time investment and a major learning investment to develop skills I didn’t yet have.

Video killed the radio star, but it wasn’t a permanent death because streaming killed them both. Streaming – online content available on our phones, tablets and computers – kills it all. And yes, video is a major player. Active YouTube users are expected to grow by 346 million (+44.05%) between 2022 and 2028. Last year YouTube had almost 2.5 billion users monthly. They generated over $31B in revenue in 2023. On average, people spend 48.7 minutes on YouTube each day. The average user spends over 28 hours on the YouTube app. Over 500 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube every minute. (Source: https://www.omnicoreagency.com/youtube-statistics/) Even SubStack has embraced live video.

Video is supreme. The evidence is overwhelming. But that wasn’t my motivation. Hot Springs Village is a visual place. Words can’t describe it as well as pictures and video. It was an easy, albeit expensive, decision. Expensive in money, time, learning curve and our ability as co-hosts to learn the craft of video storytelling (something I think we still do poorly, but I’m confident we’ll get better).

For years I’ve watched one person who stands out for me because a) he’s not an attention hound, b) he’s always telling stories of people, cultures and places (which is congruent with what we hope to do at HSVInsideOut.com) and c) he’s a one-man band (except his wife does all his video editing). He’s always alone while shooting his stories and he often goes where people would shy away from some big video production. That’s why he uses an old GoPro action camera and two small wireless mics. He’s got a selfie stick and that’s it. No lights. No tripods. No cameraman. And the videos are outstanding. Mostly because he focuses on the subject and fades into the background. He’s focused on telling the best story possible and doing justice to the people, their culture and the place. He’s only in frame as needed. Instead, he keeps his subjects on screen. He takes the audience everywhere he can. The only times we aren’t tagging along is when people forbid him from shooting, which rarely happens because he’s so respectful. His wife’s video editing is extraordinary because his videos are all long-form, often running over an hour. I’ve spent hundreds of hours watching him closely to learn. He’s got years of experience over us so I’m not expecting to match his skill, but I do aspire to emulate him in ways that fit our situation. His name is Peter Santenello. You should subscribe to his channel.

Here’s a short of Peter explaining why he uses a smaller, old GoPro action camera. Then there’s some video about his early journey becoming a successful YouTuber. You’ll see why I consider him a mentor, somebody I want to emulate – and take whatever value I can to apply to what I want to do.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/iegyC2Y4qvI?feature=share

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/4CF9d-zDuSY?feature=share

https://youtu.be/GlZHQ_4T074?si=TRandxTPjBZKDSbD

The more I studied the more I knew an action camera was the right choice for our show – and The Yellow Studio. I’m not a photographer or videographer. I knew we’d be out and about, in nature and settings like boat docks, rear decks, golf courses, lakes, parks, trails, and other nature settings – action cameras are ideally suited for all that. Additionally, if we did have a guest I knew some big video production would be a constraint. Intimidating.

That began the research of action cameras. There are a BUNCH of them. About the time I’d think, “This is the one,” a new model would be released. I quickly learned new models were coming out all the time. So I focused on the features we’d most need, including how easy they were to use and how reliable they were over time. By the time I had enough powder saved up to buy something two models stood out: DJI Osmo Pocket 3 (a slick gimbal-controlled camera with insanely great video quality) and the Insta360 Ace Pro (a more typical GoPro-type design with a swivel screen). I wanted two because I have a co-host and I knew if we had one set up and wanted to record different things we’d always be chasing the gear. Additionally, I knew there’d be situations where a two-camera angle would be helpful, especially whenever we did sit-down interviews with guests, or whenever the two of us did shows without a guest (something we were intent on doing more of).

I purchased both along with a Rode Mic Pro wireless mic set consisting of two mics and one transmitter, to connect to your smartphone or camera. The DJI Osmo Pocket 3 has a single wireless mic that can automatically connect to that camera.

I gave my co-host the Insta360 Ace Pro and Rode mics to use. I put it all in a hardshell backpack along with a ton of accessories making it easy to schelp around and use. I started “filming” with the DJI Osmo Pocket 3 doing trail walks, drives and other videos that I hadn’t been able to do with just audio. It was a major step up, but we weren’t very good at the craft yet. I knew it would take time and hours of work. Mostly, I knew it would require a commitment on our part.

Few things are more powerful than a mind made up. That was, and still is, THE work. Making up our minds that we want to excel at telling better stories that our audience will find valuable. We’re late to the game. In terms of how many audio shows we’ve produced, with Zoom as our only source of video…and in terms of how old we are. My co-host and I are both in our 60’s, but we’re both technically very savvy. Both of us are eager to learn. So I’m confident we’ll figure it out, but right now things are a bit painful because I see the future. I can easily envision where I want our show to be. I have to determine to drag us to where I want us to be!

These are exciting times. We were taking baby steps that felt like giant leaps. Audio was easy, even routine. Video is more difficult and we had yet to establish a routine because we didn’t know enough. I had used iMovie for years and knew I needed to step up my video editing game. That began another research project of people touting Final Cut Pro (an Apple product) or DaVinci Resolve (a Windows or Mac product with a free or paid version). Some videographers enjoy both. Many are preferential to one or the other. Almost all are heavily involved in doing fancy things we’ll never do (at least I don’t see us doing it). Things like color grading and shooting at the highest resolution possible. I wanted to shoot in 4K and have things work as seamlessly as possible. I wasn’t interested in behaving like I was some professional photographer/videographer. Never mind that I watched hundreds of hours of big-time YouTube photographer channels (I must subscribe to at least 100 or more of them).

I’ve been in the Apple Mac ecosystem since 1984 so it wasn’t a tough decision for me. I chose Final Cut Pro, figuring if I was going to learn one…that’d be the best one for me. Besides, a test flight of DaVinci Resolve proved their dashboard was overwhelming. Maybe it’ll do fancy things Final Cut Pro won’t, but none of that matters to me.

Next, I needed a training course to learn Final Cut Pro. That was an easier solution as most people referred me to Ripple Training. No, I’ve not yet jumped into the pool on that, but it’s coming up quickly. I need to learn it and I’ve watched enough to know I made a good choice.

About this time Sony released an updated version of a popular vlogging camera used frequently in the studio of thousands of YouTubers, Sony ZVE10II. More YouTubers suggested the first version than any other camera. Photographers recommended cameras costing three times as much. They would! 😀

When the Mark 2 of the Sony ZVE10 was released people lost their minds at the updates. It went up in price significantly, but people thought it was worth the price. More and more people were telling me I’d done good with my action camera choices, but “you’re going to want a studio set up” (a camera set up inside The Yellow Studio that says in place, always ready to go). Keep in mind, I do other shows and they felt we’d could use this for our Hot Springs Village show and I could use it for my other shows, too. But that was going to be another $1000 – more if I got a secondary lens for closeup talking head videos (with a blurry background). With accessories, and this other lens, I was looking at investing another $2000 or so. That was without investing in a good quality video light for The Yellow Studio.

Truth: I had been ruminating on this in studio set up long before thinking of action cameras. I had researched single light stand set ups where everything could be mounted on a single rolling stand, kept in place and easily rolled around to change camera angles. That was a rabbit trail I hopped down for the better part of my 18-month research journey. I had found the ideal solution, finally. StrobePro made exactly what I thought I’d get IF I ever got an in-studio camera setup.

I saved more money. All the while reminding myself that I hadn’t invested in anything really since the newest Rodecaster Pro II (replacing the original). Okay, I had indulged in a new mic every now and again, but my mic collection wasn’t too crazy (I basically have four, plus two that I use for field recording if I want XLR mics). But this felt out of control. I was investing more money than I had ever invested, including the $3000 or so to build the original Yellow Studio.

About a month ago I pulled the trigger on the Sony ZVE10 II and the assorted things I needed to construct an in-studio setup, which included the StrobePro stand. Now, I’m so far beyond what I thought I’d do, and far beyond where I thought I’d be when it comes to being equipped to do good video storytelling. Thousands of dollars. Thousands of hours. And not because it’s all necessary…

The necessary part is investment, and not just money. It’s skin in the game. It’s commitment. It’s seriousness. And it’s time invested in the pursuit of something important.

An iPhone is plenty good enough to have a YouTube channel. So if you’re listening to me, don’t mistakenly think you need to invest a ton of money to begin anything. Just do it with whatever you have like I did with a handheld digital audio recorder in 1997. Keep in mind I’m not just starting out. I may be starting into video more deeply, but I’ve been at this content creation and storytelling online journey for 27 years now.

Is it overkill? Of course, it is!

Will I use it? Of course, I will. I’ll make certain.

And that may be the point. To make certain. To live without any excuses. To produce shows without any excuse, other than my limitations, most of which stem from a profound lack of talent.

An intensely narrow focus. That’s my current objective. And I know how to do it because I’ve lived most of my life exercising those muscles. For a long time, I thought it was commonplace. Life has taught me how distracted most people are. Chasing their tail. Running around like cats chasing laser pointers. Then wondering why they’ve not accomplished more. Wondering why so many pursuits die on the vine, nowhere close to being ripe enough to pick.

I’m still learning. A lot. Not just about video, but about — people, storytelling, achieving my vision, adding value – mostly, being remarkable for an audience. No matter how small. It’s why the parable of the starfish depicts one of my main north stars.

Thank you for being on the journey with me.

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Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don’t mean to do harm—but the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves.

– a line in the T.S. Elliot play, The Cocktail Party

It’s another episode of Free Form Friday for October 11, 2024. Enjoy.

Links:

Hot Springs Village Inside Out, the podcast – HotSpringsVillageInsideOut.com 

Barry Switzer article at EPSN

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“It’s a bizarre but wonderful feeling, to arrive dead center of a target you didn’t even know you were aiming for.”

Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you’ve found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.   — Lawrence Block

Travel light and trust in serendipity.  — Mike Brown

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.

Stories abound of people pursuing one thing and stumbling onto something else. Something better. It’s likely happened to you, too.

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John Newton said, “I am not the man I ought to be, I am not the man I wish to be. I am not the man I hope to be. But by the grace of God, I am not the man I used to be”.

He was a slavery abolitionist who had once been a slave trader. Perhaps that context provoked his statement.

I can’t fully relate to the first 3 statements in the quote…

I’m not the man I ought to be.

I’m not the man I wish to be.

I’m not the man I hope to be.

Not because I’m perfect, but because I’m dedicated to improvement. My own.

Most of the time I am the man I ought to be because a) I know what kind of man I ought to be and b) I work to be that man. More easily, I know the man I wish to be and I’m working to be that man. Ditto for the man I hope to be. For me, the terms “ought,” “wish,” and “hope” are all synonymous, but ought is the most important one.

How do YOU determine what “ought” means? What’s it based on?

Mine is based on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We all need a standard, some measurement against which we can examine ourselves.

I heard a city councilman on a YouTube video about a horrible drug scene in a major U.S. city remark on how addicts needed faith. Asked if he meant faith in God, he replied that to beat addiction – something he had done himself (he wasn’t the man he once was) – a person needed to believe in something bigger than themselves. For many, it is God. Since God is THE supreme being without a peer, it makes logical sense that it should be God.

But the term “ought” means more than having faith in something. It means having something to serve as a standard for your life. Life is filled with standards. They serve us daily.

Time has a standard. Every minute has 60 seconds. Every hour has 60 minutes. Every day has 24 hours. Every week has seven days.

Measurements have standards. One gallon contains 128 ounces. We pump a gallon of gas in our cars with some assurance that we’re getting a full gallon and not something else because the government inspects gasoline pumps to ensure they’re accurate.

These two examples occupy all of our daily lives. Without them, life would be much more chaotic.

Without standards imagine how crazy our houses would look. With no standard of measurement to follow all construction would be ridiculous.

Some try to convince us that we can establish our own rules of conduct. You get to decide what’s right for you. What you “ought” to do. And that might be very different from what I “ought” to do. But that defies the whole point of a standard, an authority.

How about I decide that a gallon of gasoline isn’t 128 ounces? It’s 150 ounces. Ridiculous! Nobody would accept my personalized “standard.” Rightly so because it’s not a standard. It’s an arbitrary desire.

And that’s what is happening today, stretched to the point of being ridiculous. The Bible contains the truth of how humans have always tried to behave when they don’t want to recognize God’s higher authority, which always has mankind’s best interest.

“Every man did that which was right in his own eyes,” Judges 21:25. It speaks of ancient Israel who rebelled against Jehovah because they did what they wanted and called it “right.” Calling it “right” or what we “ought” to do doesn’t make it so. Not unless we’re the standard bearer and in matters of right, truth, and morality…we’re not the standard. If we were then societies that once sacrificed children in the fire to false gods would have been approved. Nazi Germany would be free from condemnation because in their eyes, they saw it as “right.” No, there’s got to be some standard recognized as the authority. It’s God Almighty.

Despite modern culture’s refusal to acknowledge, much less follow, God’s standard, mankind must accept all the visible, scientific, and written testimony of God’s existence and rule. Man or woman. Boy or girl. I’m taking off on John Newton’s quote only because like him, I’m a man. It would equally apply to a woman, boy or girl. Insert the one that properly fits you. No, I don’t mean the one you identify as being. That’s tantamount to saying you think a gallon is 150 ounces, not 128. Think what you will, but you’ll be wrong.

How do I know what man I ought to be? Because I listen to and strive to obey God. God tells me in His Word what kind of man I should be. For example, in Ephesians 5 I can read about how I ought to behave toward my wife. I can measure what God says against what I’m doing. By examining myself in light of what I read, I can tell if I’m hitting the mark. Or not.

Standards. Authority. Submission.

These are the things of “ought.” They determine wishes and hopes. They also determine what once was and what is, too.

You get to choose the standards that will govern your life.

For me, it’s important that the standards be true and the consequences or rewards are established. I’ve known people who believed that the ends justify the means. So if gaining money was the desired end, it didn’t matter much the means as long as it was legal. But sometimes even questionably legal strategies might be employed if the reward was high enough. At other times compromise became easy when the dollars were high enough.

Self-regulation and self-restraint may not be part of the standards you choose. I’ve found that’s a mistake if we want to live our best life. It’s fraught with increasing selfishness that wrecks relationships, careers, and lives. Such is the life of people who follow their desires no matter what.

Self-Discipline Is Required To Be The Man I Ought To Be

October begins a “no spend month.” That means all those budgeted line item expenses sans the deposable expenses like clothes, gear, gear accessories, dining out, books, or anything else. I’ve set October aside as one month where I’m going to amplify my self-discipline in the single (but big) area of spending. I may extend it beyond October, highly likely.

Such a thing seems innocuous, but it’s an important exercise because it requires temperance (self-control). I need to work on my self-discipline muscles by using them with more intensity and vigor. We both know how it’ll go (I’ve done it before so I’ve got some historical proof). Week one will require some focus. Week two will require less focus. By week three it’ll become easier and by the end of the month, I’ll push forward with the notion of keeping it going. The game changes to see how long I can keep it going.

The rewards? More money in our bank account or savings account. Greater focus against frivolous or unnecessary spending. Growth in my efforts toward practical minimalism. Discipline that is likely to filter into other areas of my life.

The downsides? Depriving myself. The irony is self-deprivation is THE biggest reward. There is no downside to the exercise.

Learning To Adapt Is The Path Toward Personal Growth (Improvement)

Learning is a discipline. Learning itself is a learned behavior that requires focus, practice, and figuring it out.

Life is largely about figuring it out, and then assessing how we’re doing so we can figure it out again. That’s why life is such a rinse-and-repeat process. Rarely do we figure things out, then set it and forget it. External and internal forces often alter our results. We change. Life’s circumstances change. Forcing us to adapt if we want to continue making progress.

Whenever we refuse to adapt we call it “being stuck.” It’s the refusal or inability to adapt. In short, it’s a lack of learning that sticks us.

Lack of self-awareness is the major constraint. Not knowing what we should know. Not seeing ourselves accurately.

“I know, I know,” is the common refrain of teens worldwide. When in truth, they don’t know. They just don’t want to hear somebody tell them. Do that in adulthood at your peril. Refuse to see what you don’t know while whistling in the dark, “I know, I know” and you’ll escape being your best.

We have to be responsible for ourselves. It’s not a blame thing. Who cares who or what is to blame? The real issue is, “Now what?”

To learn, grow, and improve we must accept responsibility for our behavior, habits, focus, and outcomes. 

Avoid those and there won’t be learning, growth, or improvement.

We get to decide, but if wisdom (learning, growth, improvement) is the goal – and it is – then we must stop lying to ourselves. Consider a few important factors. Accepting responsibility is primary. Without it, we’re hopeless to get better.

We must commit to living based on evidence. Not false evidence, but real evidence. We can think we know based on facts, but when we step back and look at more critically, we may see we’re looking at what we imagine, or what we fear. For example, a friend sends a text, “We need to talk.” What evidence do you have to alert you about the subject or tone of this meeting? None. That’s the truth. But many people will immediately see, as evidence, that this is going to be a confrontational meeting. They’ll prepare, mentally/emotionally, to enter a confrontation even though they have no evidence. They think the worst. Now, the meeting happens and the friend confesses that their marriage is crumbling and they wanted to make sure you learned of this directly from them. Remember, F.E.A.R. stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Appearing real doesn’t make it real. Don’t be fooled.

The more uncomfortable it may be, the more you’d better stop and consider it. Self-deception reigns largely because none of us enjoy facing the most uncomfortable truths about ourselves. That’s where the value is though, facing those uncomfortable truths that show us our weaknesses, flaws, and areas of greatest opportunities. Remember, in those uncomfortable truths is where are biggest opportunities abound. It’s our job to embrace them so we can get better.

How much do you want it? Only those who want to learn, grow and improve do. It’s an intentional act taken only by determined people. Even then, it’s hard work. So don’t fool yourself into thinking the lazy, unfocused, procrastinators can accomplish it. They can’t. Your willingness to change (grow) is fully in your power. You must want the ideal outcome more than you want to avoid the discomfort of facing reality – and the discomfort of putting in the work.

Who surrounds you? When you’re striving to be who you ought to be, not everybody is worthwhile. It may require you to end some relationships. People who don’t want your best are dangerous. They can appear like friends, but those who encourage poor behavior, and selfish actions (I.E. “You deserve to be happy!”) can wreck your commitment to grow. Be careful to avoid surrounding yourself with cheerleaders who encourage you to lean away from wisdom, self-sacrifice, purity, holiness, righteousness and being your best. Instead, lean into others who are pursuing the same growth goals you are – and who want you to be your best while they’re trying to be their best. Birds of a feather and all that.

Be kind to yourself during the process. Successful self-improvement isn’t built on self-flagellation. Berating yourself, even when you mess up, isn’t going to help. Yes, be quick to acknowledge your lapses, errors or failures, but then do something to fix them. The Bible calls it repentance. It’s a change of direction. Turning away. Not going back. So when you fail, acknowledge it (the Bible calls it confession), then change your behavior or actions so you don’t repeat it.

These are just a few things we must consider as we journey toward becoming a better version of ourselves.

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I learned early in sports that to be effective – for a player to play the best he can play – is a matter of concentration and being unaware of distractions, positive or negative.    -Tom Landry

Distractions destroy…

Distractions embraced equals selfishness. Colossal selfishness. Because it’s pride that drives us to distraction.

Past beliefs about yourself won’t carry you into the future.

Side hustles became a phrase and thing over 70 years ago, but I suppose there’s always been moonlighting. That is, going to work, getting off work, then going to another job, even if it’s part-time. Today, in 2024 the side hustle isn’t what it was – a way to supplement income so you could feed your family. Now, it’s an income-producing hobby, often called a passion project, indicating it’s something the person claims to love. Presumably more than they love the thing that earns them the biggest chunk of their income.

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” – James Clear

Others have replaced “systems” with “training.”

Probably more true – you don’t rise to the level of your goals, but you fall to the level of your habits.

That and more on this episode of a “free form Friday” show!

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“It’s amazing how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces.” -Ella Harper

Mutually desired relationships are likely going to include some heartbreak. I’ve had my heart broken. I’m certain I’ve broken a heart, too. Not like you’re thinking – I’m hardly a heartbreaker! But I do have the ability, like all of us, to hurt or injure somebody I care about.

Sometimes the heartbreak is because of loss. Like when I lost Rocky and Rosie to old age. These two White West Highland Terriers were fixtures in our lives for the better part of 16 years. Rocky passed first. I was heartbroken. Rosie passed and I was wrecked. They didn’t do that to me. Losing them did.

Husbands can break their wives’ hearts. Wives can break their husbands’ hearts.

Friends can break each others’ hearts.

Partners and co-workers can, too.

Let’s discuss this topic just a bit. Mostly, we’ll get our toes wet and contemplate how to improve avoiding hurting those we care about most.

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H is for home. Since last year, for the first time in our lives, we have split our time between two homes, both starting with “H.” Hurst, Texas, and Hot Springs Village, Arkansas. But last night we spent a night in another “H” home – Holiday Inn Express in Hurst, Texas.

Yes, we had a good reason. When you’re having knee surgery and your bedroom is upstairs…you improvise. That meant finding a local hotel for at least one night to avoid the staircase. Enter Holiday Inn Express at 820 Thousand Oaks Drive, Hurst, Texas – mere miles away.

It all began when I was told I’d be on crutches at least for the first day following having my knee scoped. I hopped on one of those online find-a-hotel websites. How often do you search for a hotel in the city where you live? Me? Never. I was looking for location, reviews, and pricing. There were several hotels in the area where I was looking. All of them were close to the highway, which would be necessary because I had work the next day and wanted to be able to jump on the highway quickly. My wife chauffering me.

I read a few reviews and settled on the Holiday Inn Express in Hurst, Texas. My surgery was in another DFW suburb, Southlake. But I wanted to be back in the Hurst area #TexasHome. Besides, it was mere seconds from the highway I needed for the following morning. The accommodations were ideal: king bed, mini frig, microwave, desk, sofa and coffee table, walk in shower (one of those kind without any door), and breakfast starting at 6:30 am. I booked it for one night, paying a few bucks extra for the right to cancel it and get a full refund – just in case my surgeon had to change my schedule (he didn’t).

Check in was 4 pm. Ok, no problem maybe I can check in early if necessary.

I get all those usual pre-surgery calls you get. You answer a million questions and they confirm a schedule. Then days later they may change the schedule, pushing the surgery up or back. Mine was pushed up slightly. “Check in by 7:15 am,” they said. Okay. I’m thinking check-in at the hotel is 4 pm. That’s gonna be a problem because I’m likely going to be awake and checked out of the surgical center by 11 am. So I call the hotel directly.

Let me introduce you to Susan Watts-Martinez, General Manager of the Holiday Inn Express in Hurst, Texas. She answered the phone patiently listening to my dilemma. She looked up my reservation, noticing I booked it through an online website. She confirmed I had booked a king room. “I’m happy to pay a little extra to check in early,” I said. “No problem, I can take care of you, Mr. Cantrell,” she assured me.

This was a couple of weeks in advance of my surgery so she made notes in their system that I’d need a room ready to go before noon. Yes, I told her I was coming there following surgery in Southlake. “We’ll take good care of you,” said Susan. “Just call us that morning. I’ll be here by 7:30 am. That way we’ll make sure your room is ready.” I thanked her and thought no more about it.

Until we checked in.

As I crutched my way into the lobby Susan came outside and said, “Randy?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Enjoy your stay and we hope you have a speedy recovery,” she said.

I thanked her and went inside making my way to the first room on the first floor, just past the front desk and workout room. Convenient and a short amble down the hall.

We enter the room and straight away I notice on the coffee table a bundle of homemade chocolate chip cookies and two bottles of water with the above note sitting nearby.

“Look at this, “I said to my wife. We remarked how nice that was, then I noticed a large white gift bag with a black ribbon tying the handles together.

“What’s this?” I asked.

I opened it and found a new 50″ x 70″ gray chenille throw.

I immediately unpacked it and laid down on the bed on top of the covers noting how hard it would be to maneuver under the sheets having just endured. For context, you should know Rhonda (my wife) made me a fleece blanket that I usually take with me on trips. I had lamented that I didn’t have that with me. It was left at our house in Arkansas. This gift from Susan and the Holiday Inn Express staff was perfect because I was already thinking, “It’s gonna be easier for me to sleep on top of the bed.”

As I checked out the next day I approached Susan and asked if we could take the picture with whatever staff members were available. Susan quickly gathered the troops and here they are. Here we are! That’s Susan on the far right. SA-LUTE!

These folks are extraordinary!

They could have just gone through the motions. I’m nobody special. They had no idea I had a website, a podcast, or such a loud mouth to bally-hoo customer experience!

I happily call out superior service. I’m also quite willing to call out awful service.

Hotels can universally do better. Susan’s team proves it. Susan, as a leader, proves it. I don’t know Susan, but based on my single night stay at her hotel I know she made up her mind to lead a high-performing team intent on delivering the best guest experience possible. Keep in mind, that we’re not talking about a luxury brand hotel. This isn’t the Ritz. It’s not a $ 500-a-night hotel. Proof that excellent service isn’t the protected domain of luxury or exclusive brands!

I slept in a Holiday Inn Express in Hurst, Texas last night. And it was following knee surgery so I wasn’t feeling 100%. But I was happy I decided to because Susan and her team did an outstanding job making me comfortable, welcomed and appreciated. Remember, I was only there one night. These people understand the power of doing for some what you can’t do for everybody…but more importantly, they understand that you can go above and beyond for everybody. And they do!

If you ever need a hotel room anywhere in the Mid-Cities area of Dallas/Ft. Worth…be sure you book a room at the Holiday Inn Express at 820 Thousand Oaks Drive, Hurst, Texas 76054. Call them at (817) 427-1818. Tell them I sent you, even though it won’t matter! They’ll roll out the proverbial red carpet for you anyway.

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