If you’re in a phase of life where you are overwhelmed by “stuff” and trying to get out, I want to share some encouragement today, and I want to give you something that you can truly look forward to.
I know that when you have rooms full of clutter, drawers that are jammed full of random things, piles of paper all over your desk and kitchen counters, and piles of decisions that need to be made everywhere you turn, it can take over your life. It feels nearly impossible to “think bigger” or to dream or to have fun or to serve because not only do you have a zillion things right in front of you that need your attention, but the piles keep growing. It can feel like you’re being buried alive.
And even if you don’t have physical piles that anyone else can see (because either you have some organization system in place or you’re good at “hiding” your piles), most people in the world have more mental and digital clutter than they know what to do with. It’s like an invisible suffocation–a weight on your shoulders and in your mind that you carry 24-7.
I want to be very, very clear. There is nothing wrong with you if you are drowning in piles of stuff. You aren’t lazy. You aren’t inadequate. You aren’t a failure. You aren’t unskilled. You aren’t just “a messy person.”
When we put something in a pile, it’s because our brain knows it is important, but we simply don’t know what to do with it at the time.
That’s it. We care, we’re responsible, and we’re not just going to “throw it away” or delete it. But so much is coming at us, and we’re doing our best to prioritize our own needs and everyone else’s needs that we do what we can, and at some point we have to stop and rest. The cycle repeats itself, and we end up buried in stuff and exhausted, thinking there is no way out.
But there IS a way out. I promise there is, and we are here at LearnDoBecome to not only HELP you get out, but to support you as you create a life that is even better than you imagined.
The Messages from Our Piles
Not everyone’s piles will say the same thing. Some people might legitimately be fine with their piles. They might even consider them to be “healthy piles” because they are safely holding items that can be dealt with or accessed at a later date. Eric is like this. We should do a podcast about this because he and I are wired differently when it comes to piles, but his genuinely don’t cause him stress.
His piles don’t cause me stress either, but when I was personally living in piles, this is the message I was constantly receiving:
My piles were reflections of how I was living my life–not enough boundaries, not clear on my needs, putting too much on myself, etc. You understand. Again, it’s not that something was “wrong” with me. It’s just that I needed to give my brain the bandwidth and the instructions to engage appropriately with my life.
Cleaning Makes Way for Healing
It’s amazing how much of our clutter and overwhelm is linked to our internal wiring. Over the years here at LearnDoBecome, I have been very open about my need for healing. I’ve worked with cognitive behavioral therapists, hired coaches to help me get past fears, learned how to address my tendency toward people pleasing, and developed new skills so I don’t totally avoid confrontation. Due to a huge increase of stress in 2020, my digestion took a hit, and I worked with doctors for years to find the right foods to heal my system.
Even now, I’m recovering from a virus and getting my voice back–and it’s opened my eyes to some deeper healing I need to do with my nervous system. Goodness, it can be painful.
The main lesson I’m learning is that it’s all linked–which is GREAT news because when we heal in one area, it’s going to make it easier to heal in the next.
I want us to look at “getting organized” as a step toward unlocking the healing that is ahead. And I hope you feel excited about that. When we’re in panic mode–jumping from one thing to the next–there is no chance for our deepest needs to be addressed. But they’re still calling out for us to bring relief.
Now, can the deeper kinds of healing happen first? Definitely. You can still heal emotionally in a messy house, and you can create a life of joy even if you have a million digital messages waiting for you. But one thing I learned from David Allen, author of Getting Things Done® years ago, was that it is often easier to heal from the baseline–the things coming at you every day–and then work your way up from there. Getting the everyday tasks, routines, projects, etc. working effortlessly is how we create breathing room. Then WITH that breathing room, we can focus more energy on what needs to heal.
One of our new STEP Coaching members shared her biggest pain points with me, and I feel so excited for the progress she’s making.
She said, “I have 10 banker boxes full of backlog (papers: loose and in files, journals, old cards, partially filled notebooks and more) that have been sitting in my office for a year (YES, a YEAR!!!). I have actually made some progress (3 of my file cabinet drawers are now empty and the top draw has our Freedom Files now set up)!! As I type this, I am reminded how important it is to focus on the PROGRESS, especially when it’s the lack of progress that seems most visible (aka: the 10 boxes). STEP is helping me to change the pattern that allowed the backlog building up in the first place. But oh my goodness, it’s a lot of paper to get through and I feel the weight of it sometimes; I can feel buried under all that paper (which again, is why it’s important to focus on the progress that I have made!).”
I want to share what I hear when I read that.
(1) The 10 boxes of backlog are mostly mental weight. We’ve all experienced that. There’s likely very few urgent action items in the partially-filled notebooks and old cards, but when we haven’t made decisions on them and we’re not 100% sure if something is hiding in our piles, they take some of our mental energy–every single day.
(2) She feels hope even when all of it isn’t “done.” It’s okay if something take a long time. As long as you know you have the ability and the choice to get out of the pain, you can feel a measure of relief.
(3) There’s a deeper “why”–a deeper healing–that’s going to take place once these boxes are processed. No one organizes boxes of stuff because it’s the most fun option they can think of. It’s because there’s something deeper that they want on the other side of it.
As a side note, I shared with her our box story. Inside the STEP Mastery Facebook group, I wrote, “As someone who had a full ROOM of boxes when I started this, I went through each box and did an initial sort over 2-4 nights, and then I labeled any box that could wait. Things like ‘Papers from school in 1998’. By the end, I had just a handful of things that actually needed attention and then a bunch of labeled boxes I could call ‘Level 4’ and not worry about for the time being. That initial sort calmed my mind and then we were able to start on some more urgent projects without stress… Just in case that helps!”
I still remember all those nights I spent in our room of boxes. It was an office we never used because it was so cluttered, so we sat downstairs and watched TV instead. But once we cleaned out that office, we had the bandwidth to do the next project and then the next project. (Attic storage built, a new loft built, a home office set up for me and Eric, and then LearnDoBecome, which changed our lives.)
What Healing Awaits You?
Here are a few kinds of healing I’ve been thinking about that is much easier when you are organized and no longer drowning in piles:
When people ask me what I do, the “easy answer” is that I help people get organized, but that isn’t the end goal. It’s the beginning of the journey.
I worry sometimes that I talk too much about “what’s next” when people are still in the middle of the overwhelm. So please forgive me–I’m working on that. I know it takes time to work your way out. But I want you to feel excited and hopeful that you don’t have to live in grief, resentment, stress, anger, fear, and constant overwhelm. There is beautiful healing ahead, and when you take one step at a time, I promise you’ll feel that “lift” you’ve been aching for.
I’m still processing everything I’ve been learning this past week, so I’ll share more when I can, but this season has been incredibly challenging for me, and I’ve needed to focus on healing in brand-new ways that I never anticipated. But the happy part is that, because my systems were in place, I could keep the essentials going while I rested and healed, and I feel genuine hope when I look ahead. There were a few days I started to lose that hope, and those were pretty dark. That’s why I’m sharing all of this today–because I know how discouraging it can be when you feel stuck.
It’s going to take bravery from all of us. And it seems silly that a Current Projects List, next actions, routines, microbursts, and just getting the CALENDAR cleaned up can lead to healing. It’s not the only way, but it’s a really helpful, tried-and-true way to make it happen.
If you’re new here or still not sure how we help you stop drowning in piles of clutter and architect a life of excellence, we actually made this new image to illustrate it.
Explore our free resources to get a feel for our methods and philosophy–and enjoy a calmer mind, clearer space, increased excitement for life, and a general sense of peace as you implement what you learn!
Build your full STEP System to completely eliminate the physical, mental, and digital piles of clutter in your life.
Architect a life of excellence–with a balanced, focused effort in these six foundational areas: a clear, exciting purpose, a truly organized environment, mental and physical well-being, a strong family and close relationships, alignment with your Higher Power, and financial stability and prosperity.
We are so grateful you are here with us, and we can’t wait to support you as you move forward, however that works best!
-April, Eric, and Team LearnDoBecome
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