What if the hardest part of parenting isn't raising your kids, but confronting the parts of yourself you haven't healed? Parenting doesn't come with a manual, and even when you think you've figured it out, your kids have a way of reminding you just how much you still have to learn. This week on Learned The Hard Way, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/">Kier Gaines</a> sits down with clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and founder of Good Inside,<a href="https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside/"> Dr. Becky Kennedy</a>, for an honest conversation about parenting, childhood trauma, emotional regulation, and the experiences that shape who we become. Together, they unpack why our children's behavior can trigger unresolved feelings from our own childhoods, the difference between discipline and punishment, and why being a good parent doesn't mean getting everything right. Dr. Becky challenges traditional parenting philosophies while explaining how to set firm boundaries without dismissing a child's emotions. But this conversation goes beyond raising children. Kier and Dr. Becky explore how childhood experiences follow us into adulthood, why vulnerability can feel dangerous, and how the very behaviors that once protected us can eventually keep us from building meaningful connections. They also tackle the growing conversation around parent-child estrangement, what it means to repair relationships, and why understanding someone's perspective doesn't necessarily mean agreeing with them. Whether you're raising children, navigating a complicated relationship with your parents, or simply trying to understand yourself better, this episode is a reminder that growth isn't about perfection. It's about curiosity, accountability, and having the courage to do things differently. In this episode, we explore: <ul> <li> Why parenting can bring unresolved childhood experiences to the surface. </li> <li> The difference between punishment, discipline, and sturdy parenting. </li> <li> How childhood trauma can influence vulnerability and adult relationships. </li> <li> Why children deserve a voice, even when they don't get a vote. </li> <li> How to build confidence in children without dismissing their insecurities. </li> <li> The importance of listening instead of immediately trying to fix someone's feelings. </li> <li> Parent-child estrangement, emotional boundaries, and the possibility of repairing relationships. </li> </ul> Connect with Dr. Becky Kennedy: Visit <a href="https://www.goodinside.com">GoodInside.com</a> and follow <a href="https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside/">@drbeckyatgoodinside</a>. Connect With Us 🌐 Website: <a href="https://learnedthehardwaypod.com/">Learned The Hard Way Podcast</a> 🎙️ Leave a Voice Note: <a href="https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHW">Drop Kier a message directly on the site</a> 📧 Email: <a href="mailto:learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com">learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com</a> 📱 Follow the Show: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/learnedthehardwaypod/">Instagram – Learned The Hard Way Pod</a> 👤 Follow Kier: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/">Instagram – Kier Gaines</a> 📚 Get Kier’s first book, It All Starts When You Do, available wherever books are sold. Tap in: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone who needs the reminder that struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing—and sometimes the next step is simply being willing to try something different. <a href="https://www.ideatolaunchpodcastproductions.com/">Produced & Edited by Idea to Launch Productions</a>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.

What if the hardest part of parenting isn't raising your kids, but confronting the parts of yourself you haven't healed? Parenting doesn't come with a manual, and even when you think you've figured it out, your kids have a way of reminding you just how much you still have to learn. This week on Learned The Hard Way, Kier Gaines sits down with clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and founder of Good Inside, Dr. Becky Kennedy, for an honest conversation about parenting, childhood trauma, emotional regulation, and the experiences that shape who we become. Together, they unpack why our children's behavior can trigger unresolved feelings from our own childhoods, the difference between discipline and punishment, and why being a good parent doesn't mean getting everything right. Dr. Becky challenges traditional parenting philosophies while explaining how to set firm boundaries without dismissing a child's emotions. But this conversation goes beyond raising children. Kier and Dr. Becky explore how childhood experiences follow us into adulthood, why vulnerability can feel dangerous, and how the very behaviors that once protected us can eventually keep us from building meaningful connections. They also tackle the growing conversation around parent-child estrangement, what it means to repair relationships, and why understanding someone's perspective doesn't necessarily mean agreeing with them. Whether you're raising children, navigating a complicated relationship with your parents, or simply trying to understand yourself better, this episode is a reminder that growth isn't about perfection. It's about curiosity, accountability, and having the courage to do things differently. In this episode, we explore: Why parenting can bring unresolved childhood experiences to the surface. The difference between punishment, discipline, and sturdy parenting. How childhood trauma can influence vulnerability and adult relationships. Why children deserve a voice, even when they don't get a vote. How to build confidence in children without dismissing their insecurities. The importance of listening instead of immediately trying to fix someone's feelings. Parent-child estrangement, emotional boundaries, and the possibility of repairing relationships. Connect with Dr. Becky Kennedy: Visit GoodInside.com and follow @drbeckyatgoodinside. Connect With Us 🌐 Website: Learned The Hard Way Podcast 🎙️ Leave a Voice Note: Drop Kier a message directly on the site 📧 Email: learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com 📱 Follow the Show: Instagram – Learned The Hard Way Pod 👤 Follow Kier: Instagram – Kier Gaines 📚 Get Kier’s first book, It All Starts When You Do, available wherever books are sold. Tap in: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone who needs the reminder that struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing—and sometimes the next step is simply being willing to try something different. Produced & Edited by Idea to Launch Productions See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if the hardest part of parenting isn't raising your kids, but confronting the parts of yourself you haven't healed? Parenting doesn't come with a manual, and even when you think you've figured it out, your kids have a way of reminding you just how much you still have to learn. This week on Learned The Hard Way, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kier Gaines</a> sits down with clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and founder of Good Inside,<a href="https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside/" rel="noopener noreferrer"> Dr. Becky Kennedy</a>, for an honest conversation about parenting, childhood trauma, emotional regulation, and the experiences that shape who we become. Together, they unpack why our children's behavior can trigger unresolved feelings from our own childhoods, the difference between discipline and punishment, and why being a good parent doesn't mean getting everything right. Dr. Becky challenges traditional parenting philosophies while explaining how to set firm boundaries without dismissing a child's emotions. But this conversation goes beyond raising children. Kier and Dr. Becky explore how childhood experiences follow us into adulthood, why vulnerability can feel dangerous, and how the very behaviors that once protected us can eventually keep us from building meaningful connections. They also tackle the growing conversation around parent-child estrangement, what it means to repair relationships, and why understanding someone's perspective doesn't necessarily mean agreeing with them. Whether you're raising children, navigating a complicated relationship with your parents, or simply trying to understand yourself better, this episode is a reminder that growth isn't about perfection. It's about curiosity, accountability, and having the courage to do things differently. In this episode, we explore: <ul> <li> Why parenting can bring unresolved childhood experiences to the surface. </li> <li> The difference between punishment, discipline, and sturdy parenting. </li> <li> How childhood trauma can influence vulnerability and adult relationships. </li> <li> Why children deserve a voice, even when they don't get a vote. </li> <li> How to build confidence in children without dismissing their insecurities. </li> <li> The importance of listening instead of immediately trying to fix someone's feelings. </li> <li> Parent-child estrangement, emotional boundaries, and the possibility of repairing relationships. </li> </ul> Connect with Dr. Becky Kennedy: Visit <a href="https://www.goodinside.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">GoodInside.com</a> and follow <a href="https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside/" rel="noopener noreferrer">@drbeckyatgoodinside</a>. Connect With Us 🌐 Website: <a href="https://learnedthehardwaypod.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Learned The Hard Way Podcast</a> 🎙️ Leave a Voice Note: <a href="https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHW" rel="noopener noreferrer">Drop Kier a message directly on the site</a> 📧 Email: <a href="mailto:learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com</a> 📱 Follow the Show: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/learnedthehardwaypod/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Instagram – Learned The Hard Way Pod</a> 👤 Follow Kier: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Instagram – Kier Gaines</a> 📚 Get Kier’s first book, It All Starts When You Do, available wherever books are sold. Tap in: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone who needs the reminder that struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing—and sometimes the next step is simply being willing to try something different. <a href="https://www.ideatolaunchpodcastproductions.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Produced &amp; Edited by Idea to Launch Productions</a>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener" rel="noopener noreferrer">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.

EP 29: Are You Parenting Your Kids or Your Childhood? ft Dr. Becky Kennedy

Let's have a conversation that a lot of men would rather avoid. What does consent really mean? Why do so many men get defensive when women share their experiences with sexual violence? And why does it sometimes take something happening to our mothers, sisters, or daughters before we recognize just how serious the problem is? This week on (L)earned The Hard Way,<a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/?hl=en"> Kier</a> sits down with community advocate, father, and founder of The Bloc Chicago, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jamylecannon/?hl=en">Jamyle Cannon</a>, for an honest, uncomfortable, and necessary conversation about consent, masculinity, sexual violence, and the responsibility men have to one another. From the lessons boys learn about sex before they're old enough to understand it, to the ways we normalize harmful behavior in our communities, Kier and Jamyle unpack how our earliest experiences shape the men we become. They also get personal, reflecting on childhood trauma, the men who modeled masculinity for them, and why learning to recognize and respect our own emotions is essential to respecting someone else's boundaries. Because here's the thing: You don't have to be the person causing harm to have a responsibility to speak up when you see it. This isn't about blaming every man for the actions of a few. It's about challenging the silence, questioning what we've been taught, and understanding that being a better man sometimes means having a conversation that makes everybody in the room uncomfortable. And maybe that's where the real work begins. In this episode, we get into: <ul> <li> Why conversations about sexual violence often turn into men defending themselves instead of listening to survivors. </li> <li> How boys are taught to suppress emotions and what that means for empathy, boundaries, and accountability. </li> <li> The difference between understanding someone's trauma and excusing harmful behavior. </li> <li> What enthusiastic consent actually looks like and why it can be withdrawn at any time. </li> <li> How grooming, coercion, and victim-blaming become normalized in communities. </li> <li> The importance of positive male role models and creating safe spaces for young people. </li> <li> Why calling out harmful behavior among friends can be uncomfortable but necessary. </li> <li> Why protecting women shouldn't require imagining them as someone's mother, sister, or daughter. </li> </ul> The takeaway? Being a good man isn't just about what you wouldn't do. Sometimes it's about what you're willing to say, who you're willing to challenge, and what you're willing to change. So here's a question worth sitting with: Who taught you what it meant to be a man, and what did they get wrong? Tap in. Let's talk about it. Content Advisory: This episode includes discussions of rape, sexual assault, grooming, childhood trauma, and violence. Please listen with care. If you or someone you know needs support, contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit RAINN.org. Connect with Jamyle Cannon: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jamylecannon/?hl=en">Follow Jamyle on social media and learn more about his youth development work with The Bloc Chicago.</a>    Connect With Us 🌐 Website: <a href="https://learnedthehardwaypod.com/">Learned The Hard Way Podcast</a> 🎙️ Leave a Voice Note: <a href="https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHW">Drop Kier a message directly on the site</a> 📧 Email: <a href="mailto:learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com">learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com</a> 📱 Follow the Show: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/learnedthehardwaypod/">Instagram – Learned The Hard Way Pod</a> 👤 Follow Kier: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/">Instagram – Kier Gaines</a> 📚 Get Kier’s first book, It All Starts When You Do, available wherever books are sold. Tap in: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone who needs the reminder that struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing—and sometimes the next step is simply being willing to try something different. <a href="https://www.ideatolaunchpodcastproductions.com/">Produced & Edited by Idea to Launch Productions</a>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.

Let's have a conversation that a lot of men would rather avoid. What does consent really mean? Why do so many men get defensive when women share their experiences with sexual violence? And why does it sometimes take something happening to our mothers, sisters, or daughters before we recognize just how serious the problem is? This week on (L)earned The Hard Way, Kier sits down with community advocate, father, and founder of The Bloc Chicago, Jamyle Cannon, for an honest, uncomfortable, and necessary conversation about consent, masculinity, sexual violence, and the responsibility men have to one another. From the lessons boys learn about sex before they're old enough to understand it, to the ways we normalize harmful behavior in our communities, Kier and Jamyle unpack how our earliest experiences shape the men we become. They also get personal, reflecting on childhood trauma, the men who modeled masculinity for them, and why learning to recognize and respect our own emotions is essential to respecting someone else's boundaries. Because here's the thing: You don't have to be the person causing harm to have a responsibility to speak up when you see it. This isn't about blaming every man for the actions of a few. It's about challenging the silence, questioning what we've been taught, and understanding that being a better man sometimes means having a conversation that makes everybody in the room uncomfortable. And maybe that's where the real work begins. In this episode, we get into: Why conversations about sexual violence often turn into men defending themselves instead of listening to survivors. How boys are taught to suppress emotions and what that means for empathy, boundaries, and accountability. The difference between understanding someone's trauma and excusing harmful behavior. What enthusiastic consent actually looks like and why it can be withdrawn at any time. How grooming, coercion, and victim-blaming become normalized in communities. The importance of positive male role models and creating safe spaces for young people. Why calling out harmful behavior among friends can be uncomfortable but necessary. Why protecting women shouldn't require imagining them as someone's mother, sister, or daughter. The takeaway? Being a good man isn't just about what you wouldn't do. Sometimes it's about what you're willing to say, who you're willing to challenge, and what you're willing to change. So here's a question worth sitting with: Who taught you what it meant to be a man, and what did they get wrong? Tap in. Let's talk about it. Content Advisory: This episode includes discussions of rape, sexual assault, grooming, childhood trauma, and violence. Please listen with care. If you or someone you know needs support, contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit RAINN.org. Connect with Jamyle Cannon: Follow Jamyle on social media and learn more about his youth development work with The Bloc Chicago. Connect With Us 🌐 Website: Learned The Hard Way Podcast 🎙️ Leave a Voice Note: Drop Kier a message directly on the site 📧 Email: learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com 📱 Follow the Show: Instagram – Learned The Hard Way Pod 👤 Follow Kier: Instagram – Kier Gaines 📚 Get Kier’s first book, It All Starts When You Do, available wherever books are sold. Tap in: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone who needs the reminder that struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing—and sometimes the next step is simply being willing to try something different. Produced & Edited by Idea to Launch Productions See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Let's have a conversation that a lot of men would rather avoid. What does consent really mean? Why do so many men get defensive when women share their experiences with sexual violence? And why does it sometimes take something happening to our mothers, sisters, or daughters before we recognize just how serious the problem is? This week on (L)earned The Hard Way,<a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/?hl=en" rel="noopener noreferrer"> Kier</a> sits down with community advocate, father, and founder of The Bloc Chicago, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jamylecannon/?hl=en" rel="noopener noreferrer">Jamyle Cannon</a>, for an honest, uncomfortable, and necessary conversation about consent, masculinity, sexual violence, and the responsibility men have to one another. From the lessons boys learn about sex before they're old enough to understand it, to the ways we normalize harmful behavior in our communities, Kier and Jamyle unpack how our earliest experiences shape the men we become. They also get personal, reflecting on childhood trauma, the men who modeled masculinity for them, and why learning to recognize and respect our own emotions is essential to respecting someone else's boundaries. Because here's the thing: You don't have to be the person causing harm to have a responsibility to speak up when you see it. This isn't about blaming every man for the actions of a few. It's about challenging the silence, questioning what we've been taught, and understanding that being a better man sometimes means having a conversation that makes everybody in the room uncomfortable. And maybe that's where the real work begins. In this episode, we get into: <ul> <li> Why conversations about sexual violence often turn into men defending themselves instead of listening to survivors. </li> <li> How boys are taught to suppress emotions and what that means for empathy, boundaries, and accountability. </li> <li> The difference between understanding someone's trauma and excusing harmful behavior. </li> <li> What enthusiastic consent actually looks like and why it can be withdrawn at any time. </li> <li> How grooming, coercion, and victim-blaming become normalized in communities. </li> <li> The importance of positive male role models and creating safe spaces for young people. </li> <li> Why calling out harmful behavior among friends can be uncomfortable but necessary. </li> <li> Why protecting women shouldn't require imagining them as someone's mother, sister, or daughter. </li> </ul> The takeaway? Being a good man isn't just about what you wouldn't do. Sometimes it's about what you're willing to say, who you're willing to challenge, and what you're willing to change. So here's a question worth sitting with: Who taught you what it meant to be a man, and what did they get wrong? Tap in. Let's talk about it. Content Advisory: This episode includes discussions of rape, sexual assault, grooming, childhood trauma, and violence. Please listen with care. If you or someone you know needs support, contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit RAINN.org. Connect with Jamyle Cannon: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jamylecannon/?hl=en" rel="noopener noreferrer">Follow Jamyle on social media and learn more about his youth development work with The Bloc Chicago.</a>&nbsp; &nbsp; Connect With Us 🌐 Website: <a href="https://learnedthehardwaypod.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Learned The Hard Way Podcast</a> 🎙️ Leave a Voice Note: <a href="https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHW" rel="noopener noreferrer">Drop Kier a message directly on the site</a> 📧 Email: <a href="mailto:learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com</a> 📱 Follow the Show: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/learnedthehardwaypod/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Instagram – Learned The Hard Way Pod</a> 👤 Follow Kier: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Instagram – Kier Gaines</a> 📚 Get Kier’s first book, It All Starts When You Do, available wherever books are sold. Tap in: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone who needs the reminder that struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing—and sometimes the next step is simply being willing to try something different. <a href="https://www.ideatolaunchpodcastproductions.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Produced &amp; Edited by Idea to Launch Productions</a>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener" rel="noopener noreferrer">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.

EP 31: Who Taught Us That? Men, Boys & Consent  ft. Jamyle Cannon

This week on (L)earned The Hard Way, Kier Gaines is getting into the business of online outrage, rage bait, and the way social media can quietly shape how we see ourselves, our relationships, and the people around us.From hate-watching content we can't stand to arguing with complete strangers in comment sections, Kier explores why anger can feel so satisfying, how our algorithms keep feeding us more of it, and what happens when we start bringing that same resentment into our real lives. Because here's the thing: Your anger might be justified, but is everything you're giving your energy to actually worth it? Kier also gets personal about the content he's had to stop consuming, the importance of questioning our own perspectives, and why sometimes the healthiest response is simply allowing somebody to be wrong about you.Plus, a listener's voice message sparks an unexpected conversation about aging, perspective, and learning to appreciate the stage of life you're in. This episode isn't about pretending everything is fine or telling people they don't have a right to be angry. It's about recognizing when that anger is serving a purpose and when it's taking more from you than it's giving.Because at the end of the day, you can spend your energy fighting everybody on the internet, or you can use that same energy to build a life you actually enjoy. In This Episode, We Get Into: <ul> <li>Why outrage and negativity dominate our social media feeds</li> <li>The difference between justified anger and constantly living in a state of rage</li> <li>Hate-watching, rage bait, and why we keep consuming content that makes us miserable</li> <li>How confirmation bias reinforces what we already believe</li> <li>The danger of bringing online resentment into real-life relationships</li> <li>What anger can cost us emotionally, physically, professionally, and socially</li> <li>Learning when to disengage instead of defending yourself to strangers</li> <li>Why getting older doesn't mean you've stopped growing</li> </ul> Connect With Us 🌐 Website: <a href="https://learnedthehardwaypod.com/">Learned The Hard Way Podcast</a> 🎙️ Leave a Voice Note: <a href="https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHW">Drop Kier a message directly on the site</a> 📧 Email: <a href="mailto:learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com">learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com</a> 📱 Follow the Show: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/learnedthehardwaypod/">Instagram – Learned The Hard Way Pod</a> 👤 Follow Kier: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/">Instagram – Kier Gaines</a> 📚 Get Kier’s first book, It All Starts When You Do, available wherever books are sold. Tap in: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone who needs the reminder that struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing—and sometimes the next step is simply being willing to try something different. <a href="https://www.ideatolaunchpodcastproductions.com/">Produced & Edited by Idea to Launch Productions</a>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.

This week on (L)earned The Hard Way, Kier Gaines is getting into the business of online outrage, rage bait, and the way social media can quietly shape how we see ourselves, our relationships, and the people around us.From hate-watching content we can't stand to arguing with complete strangers in comment sections, Kier explores why anger can feel so satisfying, how our algorithms keep feeding us more of it, and what happens when we start bringing that same resentment into our real lives. Because here's the thing: Your anger might be justified, but is everything you're giving your energy to actually worth it? Kier also gets personal about the content he's had to stop consuming, the importance of questioning our own perspectives, and why sometimes the healthiest response is simply allowing somebody to be wrong about you.Plus, a listener's voice message sparks an unexpected conversation about aging, perspective, and learning to appreciate the stage of life you're in. This episode isn't about pretending everything is fine or telling people they don't have a right to be angry. It's about recognizing when that anger is serving a purpose and when it's taking more from you than it's giving.Because at the end of the day, you can spend your energy fighting everybody on the internet, or you can use that same energy to build a life you actually enjoy. In This Episode, We Get Into: Why outrage and negativity dominate our social media feeds The difference between justified anger and constantly living in a state of rage Hate-watching, rage bait, and why we keep consuming content that makes us miserable How confirmation bias reinforces what we already believe The danger of bringing online resentment into real-life relationships What anger can cost us emotionally, physically, professionally, and socially Learning when to disengage instead of defending yourself to strangers Why getting older doesn't mean you've stopped growing Connect With Us 🌐 Website: Learned The Hard Way Podcast 🎙️ Leave a Voice Note: Drop Kier a message directly on the site 📧 Email: learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com 📱 Follow the Show: Instagram – Learned The Hard Way Pod 👤 Follow Kier: Instagram – Kier Gaines 📚 Get Kier’s first book, It All Starts When You Do, available wherever books are sold. Tap in: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone who needs the reminder that struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing—and sometimes the next step is simply being willing to try something different. Produced & Edited by Idea to Launch Productions See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on (L)earned The Hard Way, Kier Gaines is getting into the business of online outrage, rage bait, and the way social media can quietly shape how we see ourselves, our relationships, and the people around us.From hate-watching content we can't stand to arguing with complete strangers in comment sections, Kier explores why anger can feel so satisfying, how our algorithms keep feeding us more of it, and what happens when we start bringing that same resentment into our real lives. Because here's the thing: Your anger might be justified, but is everything you're giving your energy to actually worth it? Kier also gets personal about the content he's had to stop consuming, the importance of questioning our own perspectives, and why sometimes the healthiest response is simply allowing somebody to be wrong about you.Plus, a listener's voice message sparks an unexpected conversation about aging, perspective, and learning to appreciate the stage of life you're in. This episode isn't about pretending everything is fine or telling people they don't have a right to be angry. It's about recognizing when that anger is serving a purpose and when it's taking more from you than it's giving.Because at the end of the day, you can spend your energy fighting everybody on the internet, or you can use that same energy to build a life you actually enjoy. In This Episode, We Get Into: <ul> <li>Why outrage and negativity dominate our social media feeds</li> <li>The difference between justified anger and constantly living in a state of rage</li> <li>Hate-watching, rage bait, and why we keep consuming content that makes us miserable</li> <li>How confirmation bias reinforces what we already believe</li> <li>The danger of bringing online resentment into real-life relationships</li> <li>What anger can cost us emotionally, physically, professionally, and socially</li> <li>Learning when to disengage instead of defending yourself to strangers</li> <li>Why getting older doesn't mean you've stopped growing</li> </ul> Connect With Us 🌐 Website: <a href="https://learnedthehardwaypod.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Learned The Hard Way Podcast</a> 🎙️ Leave a Voice Note: <a href="https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHW" rel="noopener noreferrer">Drop Kier a message directly on the site</a> 📧 Email: <a href="mailto:learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com</a> 📱 Follow the Show: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/learnedthehardwaypod/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Instagram – Learned The Hard Way Pod</a> 👤 Follow Kier: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Instagram – Kier Gaines</a> 📚 Get Kier’s first book, It All Starts When You Do, available wherever books are sold. Tap in: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone who needs the reminder that struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing—and sometimes the next step is simply being willing to try something different. <a href="https://www.ideatolaunchpodcastproductions.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Produced &amp; Edited by Idea to Launch Productions</a>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener" rel="noopener noreferrer">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.

EP 30: Is the Internet Keeping You Angry?

What happens when being the person everyone depends on becomes the thing that's breaking you? In this episode, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/">Kier Gaines </a>sits down with media personality, cultural critic, and podcast host <a href="https://www.instagram.com/crissle/">Crissle</a> for a conversation about empathy, emotional labor, boundaries, and the hidden weight of being the person everyone turns to when life falls apart. What starts as a discussion about therapy training quickly becomes something much bigger. Kier and<a href="https://www.instagram.com/crissle/"> Crissle</a> explore what happens when caring isn't just something you do it's something you're wired for. Both have spent years studying people, understanding behavior, navigating relationships, and helping others make sense of their lives. But somewhere along the way comes a difficult question: How much responsibility are you supposed to carry for other people's healing? Together, they unpack the complicated line between support and enabling.Because sometimes caring looks like showing up.And sometimes caring looks like stepping back. In This Episode • Why people with therapy training often see relationships differently • What happens when your identity becomes tied to helping others • Compassion fatigue and emotional burnout • The difference between support and enabling • Being the person everyone calls during a crisis • How to know when someone's problem isn't yours to solve • Boundaries that don't feel like abandonment • Caring for yourself without feeling selfish • The emotional labor expected of Black men and Black women • What<a href="https://www.instagram.com/crisslescouch/"> Crissle's Couch</a> offers that traditional therapy cannot • Who you are when you're no longer taking care of everyone else At its core, this episode asks a question many people never stop to consider: If being needed disappeared tomorrow... Who would you be? Connect With Us 🌐 Website: <a href="https://learnedthehardwaypod.com/">Learned The Hard Way Podcast</a> 🎙️<a href="https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHW?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQPOTM2NjE5NzQzMzkyNDU5AAGnrtTG55Yrn7xCcWN-exRQzPtrGaVVFZMZVBBjS-5lVG8_50IjF45C9OH_QKQ_aem_YGOm4f0piMZh0fZmh0lvpA"> Leave a Voice Note: Drop Kier a message directly on the site</a> 📧 Email: <a href="mailto:learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com">learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com</a> 📱 Follow the Show: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/learnedthehardwaypod/">Instagram – Learned The Hard Way Pod</a> 👤 Follow Kier: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/">Instagram – Kier Gaines</a> 👤 Follow Crissle: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/crissle/">Instagram – Crissle</a>   Tap in: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone trying to figure out who they are beyond survival mode.   <a href="https://www.ideatolaunchpodcastproductions.com/">Produced & Edited by Idea to Launch Productions</a>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.

What happens when being the person everyone depends on becomes the thing that's breaking you? In this episode, Kier Gaines sits down with media personality, cultural critic, and podcast host Crissle for a conversation about empathy, emotional labor, boundaries, and the hidden weight of being the person everyone turns to when life falls apart. What starts as a discussion about therapy training quickly becomes something much bigger. Kier and Crissle explore what happens when caring isn't just something you do it's something you're wired for. Both have spent years studying people, understanding behavior, navigating relationships, and helping others make sense of their lives. But somewhere along the way comes a difficult question: How much responsibility are you supposed to carry for other people's healing? Together, they unpack the complicated line between support and enabling.Because sometimes caring looks like showing up.And sometimes caring looks like stepping back. In This Episode • Why people with therapy training often see relationships differently • What happens when your identity becomes tied to helping others • Compassion fatigue and emotional burnout • The difference between support and enabling • Being the person everyone calls during a crisis • How to know when someone's problem isn't yours to solve • Boundaries that don't feel like abandonment • Caring for yourself without feeling selfish • The emotional labor expected of Black men and Black women • What Crissle's Couch offers that traditional therapy cannot • Who you are when you're no longer taking care of everyone else At its core, this episode asks a question many people never stop to consider: If being needed disappeared tomorrow... Who would you be? Connect With Us 🌐 Website: Learned The Hard Way Podcast 🎙️ Leave a Voice Note: Drop Kier a message directly on the site 📧 Email: learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com 📱 Follow the Show: Instagram – Learned The Hard Way Pod 👤 Follow Kier: Instagram – Kier Gaines 👤 Follow Crissle: Instagram – Crissle Tap in: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone trying to figure out who they are beyond survival mode. Produced & Edited by Idea to Launch Productions See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when being the person everyone depends on becomes the thing that's breaking you? In this episode, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kier Gaines </a>sits down with media personality, cultural critic, and podcast host <a href="https://www.instagram.com/crissle/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Crissle</a> for a conversation about empathy, emotional labor, boundaries, and the hidden weight of being the person everyone turns to when life falls apart. What starts as a discussion about therapy training quickly becomes something much bigger. Kier and<a href="https://www.instagram.com/crissle/" rel="noopener noreferrer"> Crissle</a> explore what happens when caring isn't just something you do it's something you're wired for. Both have spent years studying people, understanding behavior, navigating relationships, and helping others make sense of their lives. But somewhere along the way comes a difficult question: How much responsibility are you supposed to carry for other people's healing? Together, they unpack the complicated line between support and enabling.Because sometimes caring looks like showing up.And sometimes caring looks like stepping back. In This Episode • Why people with therapy training often see relationships differently • What happens when your identity becomes tied to helping others • Compassion fatigue and emotional burnout • The difference between support and enabling • Being the person everyone calls during a crisis • How to know when someone's problem isn't yours to solve • Boundaries that don't feel like abandonment • Caring for yourself without feeling selfish • The emotional labor expected of Black men and Black women • What<a href="https://www.instagram.com/crisslescouch/" rel="noopener noreferrer"> Crissle's Couch</a> offers that traditional therapy cannot • Who you are when you're no longer taking care of everyone else At its core, this episode asks a question many people never stop to consider: If being needed disappeared tomorrow... Who would you be? Connect With Us 🌐 Website: <a href="https://learnedthehardwaypod.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Learned The Hard Way Podcast</a> 🎙️<a href="https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHW?utm_source=ig&amp;utm_medium=social&amp;utm_content=link_in_bio&amp;fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQPOTM2NjE5NzQzMzkyNDU5AAGnrtTG55Yrn7xCcWN-exRQzPtrGaVVFZMZVBBjS-5lVG8_50IjF45C9OH_QKQ_aem_YGOm4f0piMZh0fZmh0lvpA" rel="noopener noreferrer"> Leave a Voice Note: Drop Kier a message directly on the site</a> 📧 Email: <a href="mailto:learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com</a> 📱 Follow the Show: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/learnedthehardwaypod/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Instagram – Learned The Hard Way Pod</a> 👤 Follow Kier: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Instagram – Kier Gaines</a> 👤 Follow Crissle: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/crissle/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Instagram – Crissle</a> &nbsp; Tap in: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone trying to figure out who they are beyond survival mode. &nbsp; <a href="https://www.ideatolaunchpodcastproductions.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Produced &amp; Edited by Idea to Launch Productions</a>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener" rel="noopener noreferrer">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.

EP 12: How Much Should You Care? Ft. Crissle West

Why Men Stay Loyal to Friends Who Don't Really Know Them You'd go to war for your boys. You've known them for years, maybe decades. But here's the question that might stop you in your tracks: Do they actually know you? In this solo episode, Kier unpacks one of the most overlooked truths about male friendship—how men can be fiercely loyal to people who have no idea what they're really going through. He breaks down why so many men confuse longevity with depth, loyalty with love, and presence with intimacy. Kier gets honest about the times he didn't show up for his friends the way he should have, examines a powerful clip from The Best Man that exposes how men talk around the truth instead of to it, and offers a practical framework for building friendships rooted in care, honesty, and mutual accountability. In this episode: <ul> <li aria-level="1">Why loyalty without honesty isn't really loyalty</li> <li aria-level="1">The 3 dynamics in male friendships that keep men emotionally invisible</li> <li aria-level="1">How "ride or die" can become "silent and stuck"</li> <li aria-level="1">What happens when men stop protecting each other's feelings and start protecting each other's futures</li> <li aria-level="1">A 3-tier plan for transforming surface-level friendships into real brotherhood</li> </ul> Key Quote: "A friendship that can't hold truth can't really hold you." If you've been showing up for your boys but wondering why no one's really showing up for you—this episode is the answer. Connect With Us 🌐 Website:<a href="http://www.learnedthehardwaypod.com"> www.learnedthehardwaypod.com</a> 🎙️ Leave a Voice Note: Drop Kier a voice message directly on the website—because these conversations don't end here, they start here. 📧 Email: learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com 📱 Follow the Show:<a href="https://instagram.com/learnedthehardwaypod"> @learnedthehardwaypod</a> 👤 Follow Kier:<a href="https://instagram.com/kiergaines"> @kiergaines</a> Tap in with us: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone who needs it. Produced & Edited by <a href="https://www.ideatolaunchpodcastproductions.com/">Idea to Launch Productions</a>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.

Why Men Stay Loyal to Friends Who Don't Really Know Them You'd go to war for your boys. You've known them for years, maybe decades. But here's the question that might stop you in your tracks: Do they actually know you? In this solo episode, Kier unpacks one of the most overlooked truths about male friendship—how men can be fiercely loyal to people who have no idea what they're really going through. He breaks down why so many men confuse longevity with depth, loyalty with love, and presence with intimacy. Kier gets honest about the times he didn't show up for his friends the way he should have, examines a powerful clip from The Best Man that exposes how men talk around the truth instead of to it, and offers a practical framework for building friendships rooted in care, honesty, and mutual accountability. In this episode: Why loyalty without honesty isn't really loyalty The 3 dynamics in male friendships that keep men emotionally invisible How "ride or die" can become "silent and stuck" What happens when men stop protecting each other's feelings and start protecting each other's futures A 3-tier plan for transforming surface-level friendships into real brotherhood Key Quote: "A friendship that can't hold truth can't really hold you." If you've been showing up for your boys but wondering why no one's really showing up for you—this episode is the answer. Connect With Us 🌐 Website: www.learnedthehardwaypod.com 🎙️ Leave a Voice Note: Drop Kier a voice message directly on the website—because these conversations don't end here, they start here. 📧 Email: learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com 📱 Follow the Show: @learnedthehardwaypod 👤 Follow Kier: @kiergaines Tap in with us: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone who needs it. Produced & Edited by Idea to Launch Productions See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why Men Stay Loyal to Friends Who Don't Really Know Them You'd go to war for your boys. You've known them for years, maybe decades. But here's the question that might stop you in your tracks: Do they actually know you? In this solo episode, Kier unpacks one of the most overlooked truths about male friendship—how men can be fiercely loyal to people who have no idea what they're really going through. He breaks down why so many men confuse longevity with depth, loyalty with love, and presence with intimacy. Kier gets honest about the times he didn't show up for his friends the way he should have, examines a powerful clip from The Best Man that exposes how men talk around the truth instead of to it, and offers a practical framework for building friendships rooted in care, honesty, and mutual accountability. In this episode: <ul> <li>Why loyalty without honesty isn't really loyalty</li> <li>The 3 dynamics in male friendships that keep men emotionally invisible</li> <li>How "ride or die" can become "silent and stuck"</li> <li>What happens when men stop protecting each other's feelings and start protecting each other's futures</li> <li>A 3-tier plan for transforming surface-level friendships into real brotherhood</li> </ul> Key Quote: "A friendship that can't hold truth can't really hold you." If you've been showing up for your boys but wondering why no one's really showing up for you—this episode is the answer. Connect With Us 🌐 Website:<a href="http://www.learnedthehardwaypod.com" rel="noopener noreferrer"> www.learnedthehardwaypod.com</a> 🎙️ Leave a Voice Note: Drop Kier a voice message directly on the website—because these conversations don't end here, they start here. 📧 Email: learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com 📱 Follow the Show:<a href="https://instagram.com/learnedthehardwaypod" rel="noopener noreferrer"> @learnedthehardwaypod</a> 👤 Follow Kier:<a href="https://instagram.com/kiergaines" rel="noopener noreferrer"> @kiergaines</a> Tap in with us: Share your thoughts, leave a review, or send this episode to someone who needs it. Produced &amp; Edited by <a href="https://www.ideatolaunchpodcastproductions.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Idea to Launch Productions</a>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener" rel="noopener noreferrer">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.

EP 3: Why Men Stay Loyal to Friends Who Don't Really Know Them

You’ve been doing it so long you don’t even notice anymore. Adjusting your tone, softening your edges, shrinking yourself just enough to fit the room. And at the end of the day you’re exhausted not from the work, but from who you had to be to do it. In this episode, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines?igsh=cThtdGxzNjJzMmo3">Kier Gaines</a> gets real about masking and code-switching: what it is, where it comes from, and the quiet psychological tax it takes from men who’ve learned to survive by shapeshifting. From his first corporate job to the clinical research behind double consciousness, Kier breaks down why so many men are walking around depleted and what it actually looks like to stop disappearing. This one’s going to hit close to home. That’s the point. Key Takeaways ∙ What masking really costs you? Kier breaks down the emotional, relational, and identity-level consequences of performing your way through every room you enter ∙ W.E.B. Du Bois, Sterling K. Brown, and the science behind why we do it the history, the culture, and the psychology of double consciousness explained in real terms ∙ Three ways to start taking the armor off  practical, tiered tools for men who are ready to stop surviving and start actually living Connect with us  What parts of yourself feel the most edited and who are you editing them for? Send us a DM on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/learnedthehardwaypod/">@learnedthehardwaypod</a> or leave Kier a voicemail  —><a href="https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHW">https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHW</a>  your question could be featured on the next episode. Let’s make this a conversation, not just a podcast. Email - <a href="mailto:learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com">learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com</a> Social media- <a href="https://www.instagram.com/learnedthehardwaypod?igsh=MXY1ZXhibmM1eG9mbQ==">@learnedthehardwaypod</a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines?igsh=cThtdGxzNjJzMmo3">@kiergaines</a> Edited and produced by <a href="https://www.ideatolaunchpodcastproductions.com">Idea to Launch Productions</a>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.

You’ve been doing it so long you don’t even notice anymore. Adjusting your tone, softening your edges, shrinking yourself just enough to fit the room. And at the end of the day you’re exhausted not from the work, but from who you had to be to do it. In this episode, Kier Gaines gets real about masking and code-switching: what it is, where it comes from, and the quiet psychological tax it takes from men who’ve learned to survive by shapeshifting. From his first corporate job to the clinical research behind double consciousness, Kier breaks down why so many men are walking around depleted and what it actually looks like to stop disappearing. This one’s going to hit close to home. That’s the point. Key Takeaways ∙ What masking really costs you? Kier breaks down the emotional, relational, and identity-level consequences of performing your way through every room you enter ∙ W.E.B. Du Bois, Sterling K. Brown, and the science behind why we do it the history, the culture, and the psychology of double consciousness explained in real terms ∙ Three ways to start taking the armor off practical, tiered tools for men who are ready to stop surviving and start actually living Connect with us What parts of yourself feel the most edited and who are you editing them for? Send us a DM on Instagram @learnedthehardwaypod or leave Kier a voicemail —>https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHW your question could be featured on the next episode. Let’s make this a conversation, not just a podcast. Email - learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com Social media- @learnedthehardwaypod @kiergaines Edited and produced by Idea to Launch Productions See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You’ve been doing it so long you don’t even notice anymore. Adjusting your tone, softening your edges, shrinking yourself just enough to fit the room. And at the end of the day you’re exhausted not from the work, but from who you had to be to do it. In this episode, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines?igsh=cThtdGxzNjJzMmo3" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kier Gaines</a> gets real about masking and code-switching: what it is, where it comes from, and the quiet psychological tax it takes from men who’ve learned to survive by shapeshifting. From his first corporate job to the clinical research behind double consciousness, Kier breaks down why so many men are walking around depleted and what it actually looks like to stop disappearing. This one’s going to hit close to home. That’s the point. Key Takeaways ∙ What masking really costs you? Kier breaks down the emotional, relational, and identity-level consequences of performing your way through every room you enter ∙ W.E.B. Du Bois, Sterling K. Brown, and the science behind why we do it the history, the culture, and the psychology of double consciousness explained in real terms ∙ Three ways to start taking the armor off &nbsp;practical, tiered tools for men who are ready to stop surviving and start actually living Connect with us&nbsp; What parts of yourself feel the most edited and who are you editing them for? Send us a DM on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/learnedthehardwaypod/" rel="noopener noreferrer">@learnedthehardwaypod</a> or leave Kier a voicemail&nbsp; —&gt;<a href="https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHW" rel="noopener noreferrer">https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHW</a>&nbsp; your question could be featured on the next episode. Let’s make this a conversation, not just a podcast. Email - <a href="mailto:learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">learnedthehardwaypod@gmail.com</a> Social media- <a href="https://www.instagram.com/learnedthehardwaypod?igsh=MXY1ZXhibmM1eG9mbQ==" rel="noopener noreferrer">@learnedthehardwaypod</a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines?igsh=cThtdGxzNjJzMmo3" rel="noopener noreferrer">@kiergaines</a> Edited and produced by <a href="https://www.ideatolaunchpodcastproductions.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">Idea to Launch Productions</a>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener" rel="noopener noreferrer">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.

EP 1: The Hidden Cost of Being the Man Everyone Needs You to Be

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Introducing: (L)earned the Hard Way with Kier Gaines

No fluff. No judgment. Just real talk. Licensed therapist <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/">Kier Gaines</a> brings over a decade of insight to break down what it really means to be a man today the pressure, the innovation, the grief, the joy, the grind, and the opportunities to thrive. With honest stories, actionable tips, and unfiltered insights, this is the space to level up, heal, and grow. On your terms.
 Edited and produced by <a href="https://www.ideatolaunchpodcastproductions.com">Idea to Launch Productions</a>

Society & Culture

Health & Fitness

Mental Health

Relationships

No fluff. No judgment. Just real talk. Licensed therapist Kier Gaines brings over a decade of insight to break down what it really means to be a man today the pressure, the innovation, the grief, the joy, the grind, and the opportunities to thrive. With honest stories, actionable tips, and unfiltered insights, this is the space to level up, heal, and grow. On your terms. Edited and produced by Idea to Launch Productions

No fluff. No judgment. Just real talk. Licensed therapist <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kiergaines/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kier Gaines</a> brings over a decade of insight to break down what it really means to be a man today the pressure, the innovation, the grief, the joy, the grind, and the opportunities to thrive. With honest stories, actionable tips, and unfiltered insights, this is the space to level up, heal, and grow. On your terms.
 Edited and produced by <a href="https://www.ideatolaunchpodcastproductions.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">Idea to Launch Productions</a>

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