Narcissistic Abuse & Your Nervous System: Time to Speak Up (Part 1)
In this episode of Leave Your Toxic Relationship, we cut through the lies, confront destructive patterns, and use God’s truth to begin stepping into freedom.
If you’ve ever been told by a covert narcissist that you’re “mentally unstable,” “too emotional,” or that you need psychiatric help, this episode will help you understand what was really happening behind closed doors.
I share personal examples of covert narcissistic abuse, manipulation, and gaslighting, and explain how these dynamics quietly train your nervous system to stay silent, doubt yourself, and tolerate mistreatment.
This episode is about awareness — not shame.
I open this episode by sharing how what appeared to be a proposal and a future together quickly became another layer of control and emotional harm.
From a fake ring and a confusing, emotionally disconnected proposal, to a deeply one-sided premarital agreement, the message beneath the surface was clear: I was not meant to feel secure, chosen, or protected.
The premarital agreement outlined restrictions that left me without financial autonomy, ownership, or long-term security — even in the event of his death. Nothing could be in my name. My children would receive nothing. Everything would remain under his control.
What should have been a season of love instead became a season of emotional deflation, confusion, grief, and self-doubt.
And yet, when I reacted with sadness or hesitation, the narrative was turned back on me — as if my response was the problem, not the circumstances.
This is how covert narcissistic abuse operates: not through overt cruelty, but through the quiet erosion of safety, voice, and worth.
• How covert narcissistic abuse happens behind closed doors
• Why moments that should feel joyful often feel confusing or hollow
• How control is disguised as “logic,” “protection,” or “starting points”
• The role gaslighting plays in making you doubt your reactions
• How repeated emotional invalidation conditions your nervous system
• Why speaking up begins to feel unsafe — even when something feels wrong
When abuse is subtle and ongoing, your nervous system adapts in order to survive.
• Shutting down instead of speaking up
• Feeling emotionally deflated or frozen
• Confusion about why you feel sad when “nothing obvious” is wrong
• Fear of expressing needs or concerns
• A growing sense that your voice doesn’t matter
These responses are not weakness — they are survival strategies.
Your body learns that staying quiet feels safer than being honest.
God is not the author of confusion or control.
• John 8:32 — “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
• Proverbs 4:23 — Guarding your heart includes paying attention to what drains it.
• Galatians 5:1 — “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.”
God’s design for love does not require you to disappear, shrink, or surrender your agency.
If you’ve ever:
• Felt deflated instead of cherished
• Been told you were “too much” for reacting to mistreatment
• Struggled to explain why something felt wrong
• Learned to stay silent to keep the peace
You are not imagining it. Your nervous system learned what your mouth was not allowed to say.
This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation.
In Episode 3, I’ll continue my story and talk about what it looks like to begin reclaiming your voice and rebuilding self-trust.
If this episode resonated with you, I’d love for you to help this podcast reach more women who need clarity and freedom.
• Follow or subscribe to Leave Your Toxic Relationship wherever you listen to podcasts
• Leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts (or your preferred platform)
You’re also invited to join my Facebook group, Break Free From Codependency, where we walk this healing journey together with truth, compassion, and biblical grounding.
You are God’s daughter — beloved, deeply known and understood, with potential and purpose.
This podcast is for educational and supportive purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care, medical treatment, or legal advice. If you are experiencing severe distress or are in immediate danger, please seek help from a qualified professional or contact your local emergency services.
