Leaving Well: nonprofit leadership guidance for workplace exits and transitions

Louisa "Weeze" Doran first began her community oriented work as an equity and liberation educator, strategist, and speaker with a healing centered and humanity first ethos. Featured in the New York times, Forbes, Buzzfeed, and many more. She's a multifaceted and multi hyphenated person, which gives her the wiggle room to be all that she is and any one piece of herself at any given moment. Weeze is known for her kind and compassionate yet direct approach with a perpetual focus on collective liberation.

As she says, we liberate others by way of our own liberation. Weeze is a boxing enthusiast, coffee aficionado, dog mama, beach baby, music lover, and so much more.

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We have a profound responsibility, not just to the next generations, but the ones who are, who are sharing this earth with us right now, to be better stewards, right, of information and of modeled behavior.

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I'm actually not interested in changing systems. I'm interested in changing people. Because if you change enough people, then systems and cultures inherently change.

Do you actually need to leave or do you need better boundaries with yourself and then maybe even better boundaries with your workplace? Have you had the conversations with yourself and then with the workplace?

Tending to yourself does not fly in the face of liberation, and in fact, tending to yourself is deeply revolutionary. Tending to yourself is literally what liberation is about. And so, whatever, wherever you're at, in your life, in your career, take one step today to take better care of your mental, emotional, psychological, physical well being, that is one step towards liberation. Choose a new step every day.

To connect with Weeze or learn more about her work:

Weeze on Substack

Weeze on Instagram

Weeze's website

To take the Workplace Transition Archetype Quiz

To learn more about Leaving Well

This podcast is produced by Sarah Hartley

Kera Rolsen is a United States Air Force officer, strategist, and B-52 aviator. She has a broad range of experience from the tactical to strategic levels of planning across multiple regions of the world and is a graduated commander.

She holds masters degrees in Intelligence, Military Operational Art and Science, and Military Strategy. Her professional writing has been featured on the Over the Horizon journal, Angry Staff Officer blog, and Business Insider. She also a fiction novelist under the pen name "KR Paul" and operates KRP Publishing, LLC.

All views represented on this episode are the views of the speaker and do not reflect the views of the United States Air Force or the Department of Defense.

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When your command is over, you don't linger the next person come in and, and, and have the full reins and it was best for them for me to step fully away so that nobody was trying to have divided loyalties or anything, right? I think the, the last part is just personally, it felt like, it felt like failure.

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Our aircraft, we have a system we call bitching Betty and it is a female automated voice that if you were Nose diving to the ground and you're about to impact terra firma it is telling you pull up, pull up I was getting that warning while I was out on, on the thing, my body is telling me, hey, it's, it's time you got to pull up. And, and man, I almost missed it.

The Air Force talks about resilience that, you just dig down deep and build resilience. I never heard anybody talk about is there will come a point where resilience fails. The concept that I really started wrapping my brain around is that, that resilience is a well, and in good times, you know, you get the rain, and the well is full, you don't have to go into the cistern, and you can dip into the well, and you can water the gardens of your life, right? When you hit the droughts, you hit the bad times, you're dipping into that well, and nothing is refilling it. I even told the commander the day that I relinquished command sir, I've, I've gone to the well and I'm dredging muddy water. There's nothing left. I just have nothing left.

In my change of command speech, I apologized to my team, "To my Roadrunners, I fought as long as I could, but you deserve a commander focused on the mission and I deserve to heal." Those were hard words to say. No one wants to quit early. But I deserved better too."

Links:

To connect with Kera or learn more about her work, click here.

Twitter thread we discussed

To take the Workplace Transition Archetype Quiz

To learn more about Leaving Well

This podcast is produced by Sarah Hartley

Louise is based in London and constantly exploring what it means to live change. She's a loyal friend, partner, mother and curious human who loves adventure. Louise play multiple roles in different parts of the change ecosystem. and sees herself as a changemaker, facilitator, systems change designer, coach, process doula .

In her current 10 year cycle she's wanting to make a contribution to reframing, the culture and practices around how we view and value loss, grief, death and closures as part of the natural cycles of life and the overlooked part of transformation. Louise currently has a role at Thirty Percy Foundation, is seeding The Decelerator as well as being a freelance pollinator and connector between spaces around governance, endings and the wider funding ecosystem. Louise is also an aspiring and reluctant writer.

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What does the funeral party for capitalism look like? How do we have some fun with this as well and not make it so serious? Yes, it's serious. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's sad, but oh my God, it's going to feel so good when we're freed of some of these things.

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I think the most courageous leadership decision you can make right now is to intentionally close something down.

I've worked with hundreds of people over the years who were looking for radical transformation, for system change. We can't do any of that if we don't face into what is going away. When you're creating anything new, something else is going to be displaced or fall away as well.

We're going to have a bit of a Leadership reckoning coming. I can see the beginnings of it already actually blow up organizations as a form completely. Bring in inequality, racial dynamics into that as well and we've just got a pressure cooker that shows our current organizing models are not fit for where we are right now.

To connect with Louise or learn more about her work:

Louise's work and practiceThe Decelerator

To take the Workplace Transition Archetype Quiz

To learn more about Leaving Well

This podcast is produced by Sarah Hartley

Sharmon Lebby has been the President of the Ethical Network of San Antonio, and COO of the Africa New England Chamber of Commerce. For over 20 years Sharmon has helped organizations set the foundations of their digital media presence and define their brands as a Creative Director and Brand Strategist.

Sharmon holds a B.S. in Biology from the University of South Carolina. To support her passions, Sharmon has worked as a Neuroscience Research Associate and Brand Consultant for non-profits and emerging businesses.

As an advocate for ethical businesses and co-host of Unpacking Ethical and the Slow Fashion Challenge, she encourages others to live intentionally sustainable lives while amplifying small businesses, connecting them with the resources they need to grow and thrive.

When she's not lazing around, making up words, or consuming NadaMoo in epic proportions, Sharmon is writing and speaking on panels about the ties between environmentalism, social justice, inclusivity, and fashion.

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I just cannot keep up this speed anymore. It's just affecting me in a myriad of ways. So I just, I just left it all. So that's the beginning and the end – it was just burnout.

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My worth is not caught up in what I can do for you. My worth is not caught up in what I produce. My worth is not caught up in my gifts and my talents.

We talk a lot about boundaries with other people. Sometimes you've got to have boundaries with yourself. Sometimes you have to tell yourself no. Learning that lesson is probably the most important thing and the biggest piece of advice I would give.

To connect with Sharmon or learn more about her work:

Website

Linkedin

Unpacking Ethical Podcast

Video Version

To take the Workplace Transition Archetype Quiz

To learn more about Leaving Well

This podcast is produced by Sarah Hartley

KELLY CERVANTES is an award-winning writer, speaker, and advocate best known for her blog Inchstones, where she shared the stress, love, and joy that came with parenting her medically complex daughter, Adelaide. Since Adelaide's passing, Kelly has continued to write candidly about her arduous and, at times, contradictory grief journey.

She has been published in the Chicago Tribune, the Chicago Sun-Times, and Cosmopolitan, as well as quoted in the New York Times, CNN, and People. She is the current board chair for the nonprofit CURE Epilepsy and also hosts their biweekly podcast, Seizing Life, where she interviews scientists, doctors, and individuals affected by epilepsy. Kelly resides in Maplewood, NJ, with her husband, Miguel Cervantes currently starring in Hamilton on Broadway, their children, and their dogs, Tabasco and Sriracha.

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I think change and grief and resilience, these words kind of get clustered together, but I think it's just so important to recognize that resilience isn't just moving forward. It isn't just pushing through. It's doing the work so that you can continue to be resilient down the road.

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On one end of the spectrum, grief is just pure love. It is the love that you can't physically express. And then on the other side grief is just change. It is the resistance to change.

Leaving well means moving forward while remembering. Because I think that we have this idea of leaving, and that somehow that gets synonymous with forgetting. We're leaving, and so we have to leave something in the past, and we have to move forward. But that's not what leaving well means. Leaving well, to me, means that yes, you are moving forward. Because we don't have a choice. Time trudges forward whether we want it to or not, right? But when you leave well... You're remembering what happened in the past, and you're carrying that forward with you.

I'm not trying to deny my grief. I will never get over my grief, whatever that means. It will always carry with me. Those experiences will carry forward with me. They just get folded into this new version of me. I'll never be the same Kelly that I was 10 years ago. I am a new Kelly. Hopefully a better Kelly.

To purchase Kelly's book on Amazon https://amzn.to/472pH97> or Bookshop https://bookshop.org/a/7803/9781637743829>

To connect with Kelly on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellygc411/>

Take the Workplace Transition Archetype Quiz.

Click here to learn more about Leaving Well.

This podcast is produced by Sarah Hartley.

Karyn Paige is a Certified Informed Practitioner of Human Design, a mindset coach, facilitator and speaker. Her work approaches personal and professional development from a place of anti-oppression, centering the intersectional experiences of Women of Color. Her own career has evolved from working as a nightclub singer to freelancing as a Wordpress developer, to mentoring women in business and now helping women find alignment through energy work and self-compassion. It's because of her own long and winding road that Karyn finds herself uniquely qualified to help others find clarity at their own crossroads.

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What if you're amazing at it? What if literally the coolest thing ever is on the other side of this and you just can't see it and the only thing in your way is this fear that it's going to be a big, bad, scary. So just hold space for this idea of what if it's going to be amazing?

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You need to do the forgiveness ritual for yourself so that you can move on with a clear conscience and with emotional closure. Completing the cycle, being intentional of 'this is coming to a close'.

To connect with Karyn or learn more about her work:

Intro to Human Design Course

Free Human Design Chart

Book a Human Design Reading with Karyn

To take the Workplace Transition Archetype Quiz

Click here to learn more about Leaving Well

This podcast is produced by Sarah Hartley

Jaja Chen is a 2nd generation Taiwanese American who grew up in China and Taiwan. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker-Supervisor, private practice therapist, and co-owner of Cha Community (formerly Waco Cha) - a boba tea cafe based in Waco and Temple, TX. Spring 2021, Jaja had the honor of representing Cha Community at the Small Business Administration (SBA) through the U.S House of Representatives to testify on behalf of immigrant-owned businesses and pandemic recovery. Jaja is passionate about representation of Asian Americans in leadership throughout Central Texas and is engaged in racial justice and sustainability work through local nonprofits, participation in the City of Waco Sustainability Advisory Board, and Asian Leaders Network Waco - which she and fellow Asian leaders started in Waco this past year. Outside of her work, Jaja loves playing with her English Bulldogs, swimming, gardening and hunting for thrifted and vintage deals.

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"Leaving well is about - whether you are leaving on your own choice or not - there are gifts that can come, especially if you can see the transition as an opportunity to be transformed. There will be so many unexpected gifts."‌

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"The reason why I'm able to tell my story of not belonging, but then finding connection, through our business (Waco only has 2% Asian representation), is because I've lived in so many places, I've gained experience, I know what it's like to be both minority culture and majority culture. Because I've walked through the journey - myself, emotionally - I can help others walk through it as well."

"Thinking about the future ripple effects of my impact and work is what keeps me going."

‌"People don't realize how much grief is involved in change and transition. There is so much grief involved. You need to grieve well the familiarity and proximity of people and places."

"The experience of moving at age 13 became my first experience of trauma processing. I recommend folks start therapy - if possible - for transitions that are not within their control. I also think, as a 13 year old, I had so many worries and negative views towards transition. Actually getting through the move helped transform that worry."

To connect with Jaja or learn more about her work:

Private Practice website Cha Community boba tea cafe To learn more about the RAFT model

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Take the Workplace Transition Archetype Quiz

Click here to learn more about Leaving Well.

This podcast is produced by Sarah Hartley.

Jerry Jones is fascinated by all things culture and loves watching when cultures blend. He is a cross-cultural trainer and coach who offers support and develops resources for global people.

He goes deep with expats and repats and locals who are wading through the mess of cross-cultural challenges and helps them move forward. He works with great people all over the world who want to understand how to do global life better. Jerry also writes about what he sees and how he sees it, and loves to share the nuggets picked up from his successes and failures with international business.

Jerry is a guest that I had to have on the show early in the inaugural episodes, because he planted the original Leaving Well seed (in the international expat space), and the concept has been with me ever since. In this episode, we riff about the presence of grief, pillars vs. bricks, ranking your friends, and get to the heart of how powerful leaving well can truly be.

"You need to rank your friends. You want to give the most time to the people who have invested the most in you. You don't want to give your last moments, your most valuable moments, to your Number 15 friends. Your Number Ones deserve your best time. It's good stewardship of your time."

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"The opposite of intentionality is … natural. If you're not intentional, you don't have to do anything. You just float. You go where the tide or the stream takes you. Goodbyes are not natural for a lot of us. If we do what comes naturally, we avoid them because they hurt, they're painful. Applying intentionality to all of that is key."

"It's not just hard and good at the same time - saying goodbye - but the hard is because of the good. The two run parallel, they run in tandem. They travel together. The good-er it is, the harder it is. The reality of leaving well and leaving poorly, it all boils down to this: the only way to make leaving easy is to make the relationships you have less good."

"One of the big surprises for people is that their issues can fly. Wherever you go, your issues will be with you on the other side. That's what leaving well is all about. Addressing those issues, resolving those issues where you can. Making sure that to the best of your ability you don't pack them in your bags and take them with you."

To learn more about Jerry:

• Jerry's co-hosted podcast Diesel & Clooney

• Jerry's Leaving Well blog post

To learn more about Leaving Well, visit https://www.naomihattaway.com/

This podcast is produced by Sarah Hartley.

In this article in The Cut, 10 Things You Need to Do Before You Resign, Alison Green provides ten recommendations on what to do before you resign. I took a few of those and added a Leaving Well twist. Four of those recommendations from The Cut are provided here, and I've shared my Leaving Well take as a follow-up set of suggestions.

"Going one step beyond simply knowing about those policies means you can take back some of the control during the process. The old adage of "the more you know" definitely applies to the resignation process."

Episode Resources:

• Navigating Job Loss blog post
• Jaiya John's book, Your Caring Heart

To learn more about Leaving Well, visit https://www.naomihattaway.com/

This podcast is produced by Sarah Hartley.

Arlan is the Founder and Managing Partner of Backstage Capital, has raised more than $30M, and has invested in over 200 companies led by people of color, women, and/or folks from the LGBTQ community.

In today's episode, Arlan shares her take on fear, change, and courage, and how to manage this trio of realities we all face. We also discuss making decisions on how we want our life to look, and the importance of spreading light everywhere it's possible.

"There is change in transition that you can then control. When I think about that I think about the change I wanted to see in venture capital and the investing ecosystem. I wasn't seeing as many faces writing the checks and influencing decision and behavior the way I wanted to. I envisioned the future, it was only five years ahead and in that five years, I thought so much can change if I just dare to keep going in, in my idea here."

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"Being able to withstand change is what sets people apart."

"People have a really interesting view of other people's time, or what you should be doing: 'you can't step down, you can't change jobs, you can't leave your job to start a company, you can't leave your company to go back to corporate.' If that's what you want to do, then you do you. You're grown."

"Leaving well is leaving on your terms, in your own time. Leaving for what the next chapter of your life is, even if the pages are blank."

Resources from this episode:

Arlan's Academy

Your First Million Podcast

Books by Arlan Hamilton:

It's About Damn Time

Your First Million (pre-order)

To learn more about Leaving Well, visit https://www.naomihattaway.com/

This podcast is produced by Sarah Hartley.