I know I can't be the only one who struggles with meeting and making friends as an adult. Why is it so dang hard?

Listen in as I go through the process of figuring out why it's more difficult to meet/make now than when we were younger. 

Long story short: life. Life happens. Things change; people change. Therefore, friendships, and the context in which we meet and make friends, change with it. 

Most people would not jump at the chance to feel heartache and pain. We tend to live our lives trying to avoid unpleasant feelings. But what do we do when something unexpected happens and we are confronted with sudden loss and all the painful emotions that come with it? Do you know how to grieve? Do you know how to be a friend to someone who is grieving? Most people are uncertain of what to say or do when a loved one is hurting and struggling with their grief and unfortunately end up saying things that are not very helpful. So then, what can we do? What do we say? In these times, I've learned that it's not about me. We need simply to do less; say less. And just be there for the one who is hurting.

I only dreamed about dropping out of college, but my friend Chris actually pulled the trigger. As an Asian kid, dropping out of college is a BIG deal and even bigger deal to a 1st-gen Asian parent. But Chris stuck to his convictions and paved his own path even if it wasn’t the traditional route. He is now a very successful firefighter, podcaster, and simply one of the most hard-working people I know.

For so long I felt like there was something wrong with me. Why can't I focus? My mind is constantly racing, I'm endlessly restless, and I end up staying up at night because my brain doesn't seem to want to shut off. My whole life, I believed that I just had to try harder, be more disciplined, and learn to just concentrate in order to be a better student and a more productive individual in general. But did you know these are just a few signs of ADHD? After reading multiple articles, listening to several podcasts on ADHD, watching/listening to youtube videos, watching Ted Talks, and talking to other people with ADHD, I've gained valuable insight on just what ADHD actually is, and I am now convinced that I may have adult ADHD--and I finally feel like my life makes sense. There is nothing "wrong" with me as I had previously thought for so many years. My brain is just wired differently than the neurotypical person, and honestly, it's not such a bad thing. 

We all experience anxiety sometimes...but those with high-functioning anxiety (me, I think), and especially those with anxiety disorders, experience anxiety differently and with varying intensities and symptoms. Those with anxiety--and not just those who experience anxiety occasionally--experience symptoms of high stress and imminent danger constantly. All day. Every day. It is exhausting and taxing on our mental health, physical, and emotional health. For those with milder symptoms, deep breathing exercises, exercising in general, and stretching are ways we can help relieve some of that anxiety.

"You are beautiful." I believe those words now--for myself and everyone else. But for the longest time, it felt like a lie. I didn't believe I was beautiful. And for years, I've denied the fact that I struggled with body image issues. I never told anyone the shame and horror I felt if I saw that I had gained weight. On the outside, I would roll my eyes when people complained about their appearance, while on the inside, I was hypercritical of my own body. I have since learned to be more gentle, kind, and gracious towards myself and my body as I recognize and acknowledge all that it does for me. But this is an area of my life I haven't overcome completely; the temptation to compare myself to others is always looming especially if I'm not being vigilant and it's something I have to be mindful of every day. But whether you believe it or not, it's true. You are beautiful. 

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Only 2% of actors actually "make it" as working actors and only .04% become famous. I don't care for fame, but I do want to be a working actor: someone who has a consistent job and pay like anyone else working in a different field. But the journey isn't easy. It's almost impossible not to compare yourself to your peers who are climbing up the ladder in the corporate world making big bucks, buying new homes, going on trips, the list goes on. Feeling insecure, self-doubt, and questioning your worth are always at bay and it's easy to get discouraged. Hoping to be a part of that 2% is not as glamorous as it may seem. 

It’s true. We are all a little racist, have implicit bias, and have prejudice--whether we realize it or not. But that doesn’t mean we should perpetuate them. Since the pandemic, hate crimes and violence against Asian Americans have increased exponentially...but why? Did people suddenly become MORE racist? Racism has been embedded in US history for centuries. Racism has always existed and perhaps always will to a certain degree, but there are ways we can talk about it, educate one another, and stop the virus (hate) from spreading.

For more information on the hate crimes and violence against Asian Americans, if you'd like to make a financial contribution, or report an incident, please visit stopaapihate.org.

IG: @lessonlearnedpod

IG: @angjholee

In light of all the events that's been going on, namely the hate crimes against Asians in the United States, I've had to stop and reflect on what it means for me and how that impacts who I am as an Asian American woman. However, I wanted to broaden the scope and shed some light on what it's like to be a woman in general. Male privilege exists and there are some very blatant disadvantages that women face simply because we were born female. And if this is news to you, perhaps it's time to sit down and consider your privilege.

My next guest is a 23 year old psychology student who discovered her passion and creative outlet in modeling amidst the pandemic. My friend, Faith Chan, shares her story of her journey to becoming a model and how it is empowering her to reclaim her body and feel confident in her skin. As a victim of sexual abuse, she has suffered from mental health issues and is now passionate about helping others who are struggling feel seen and heard. You can follow and support Faith on IG: @xxfaithchanxx