Lessons Learned with Komal

Content warning: This episode includes discussion of rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse, PTSD, and gender-based violence.

Welcome to this week's Lessons Learned: Audio Essay -- essays on ambition, reinvention, and building a life worthy of you, written and read by me, Komal Minhas!

What does sexual violence take from us long after the violence itself is over?

In this essay, I reflect on sexual assault, rape culture, PTSD, misogyny, and the long-term mental health toll of gender-based violence. Prompted by the news and conversations this week about sexual assault and institutional accountability, I found myself revisiting my own experience of rape nearly two decades later—and the ways trauma can continue to shape our capacity, relationships, work, nervous system, and sense of safety long after an assault.

I also share what helped me navigate a deeply triggering week: therapy, movement, boundaries with social media, difficult conversations, trusted relationships, journaling, and recognizing when witnessing becomes retraumatization rather than useful awareness.

This is an essay about believing women, survivor healing, trauma recovery, women’s mental health, and reclaiming the parts of ourselves and our lives that violence tried to take from us.

YOUR WEEKLY PROMPT:

What care do you most need today and this week? How can you give that to yourself? Is there something you need to share with someone you love? Who and when will you reach out to them?

LET'S PLAN TOGETHER!

Each month, paid members of my Lessons Learned community on Substack meet with me for a 75-minute facilitated journaling and planning salon. We reflect, write, and work through the same four planning prompts each month, and decide what deserves our time and action for the month ahead.

Thanks for listening!

JOIN THE PLANNING SALONS: https://lessonslearnedwithkomal.substack.com/about 

READ THE ORIGINAL ESSAY: https://lessonslearnedwithkomal.substack.com/ 

LET'S HANG OUT ON IG: https://www.instagram.com/komalminhas/

JOIN THE PLANNING SALONS: https://lessonslearnedwithkomal.substack.com/about

READ THE ORIGINAL ESSAY: https://lessonslearnedwithkomal.substack.com/

LET'S HANG OUT ON IG: https://www.instagram.com/komalminhas/

Welcome to this week's Lessons Learned: Audio Essay -- essays on ambition, reinvention, and building a life worthy of you, written and read by me, Komal Minhas!

As the Fall sprint continues, I feel disconnected from the pace of the people on my feed. This is a personal 'winter' for me, lots of inner work, preparation for our next round of IVF, and a deliberate slowing down and 'shrinking' of life and work. Sometimes the season we're in is the one we truly need, and embracing that can help us lock into the gratitude of the life we've actually deliberately chosen.

Let's dive into periods of regrouping, and what future comebacks are built from. Can't wait to hear what you think.

YOUR WEEKLY PROMPT:

In a personal winter: How could strengthening your little life help you show up better for your big life when it’s time to? What do you love about your little life? What could you appreciate more?

In a personal summer: How can you better appreciate the big season you’re in? What support from your little life do you need right now to keep thriving?

LET'S PLAN TOGETHER!

Each month, paid members of my Lessons Learned community on Substack meet with me for a 75-minute facilitated journaling and planning salon. We reflect, write, and work through the same four planning prompts each month, and decide what deserves our time and action for the month ahead.

Thanks for listening!

JOIN THE PLANNING SALONS: https://lessonslearnedwithkomal.subst...

Welcome to this week's Lessons Learned: Audio Essay! Essays on ambition, reinvention, and building a life worthy of you, written and read by me, Komal Minhas!

I've journaled by hand almost everyday of the last 18-months. I finish a journal every eight to nine weeks, and as I finished my most recent one, I ended up writing a letter of gratitude to the version of me who spent those weeks implementing the plans and habits to finally meet this version of me.

I am calmer, stronger, more boundaried, physically healthier, better slept -- I built habits and took actions I had dreamed about, but wasn't convinced I'd actually get to again. But here I am.

It didn't take some epic 'ah-ha', it just took good friends, self-trust, and a willingness to keep going day after day.

In this audio essay, I explore why I've come to believe that planning is actually an act of self-love.

YOUR WEEKLY PROMPT:

What if planning isn't just about productivity, but about loving the journey of walking towards your future dream self? What would change if you approached it in this way?

LET'S PLAN TOGETHER!

Each month, paid members of my Lessons Learned community on Substack meet with me for a 75-minute facilitated journaling and planning salon. We reflect, write, and work through the same four planning prompts each month, and decide what deserves our time and action for the month ahead.

Thanks for listening!

READ THE ORIGINAL ESSAY: https://lessonslearnedwithkomal.subst...

LET'S HANG OUT ON IG: http://www.instagram.com/komalminhas 

It's my first Audio Essay and podcast upload in SO LONG! HI AGAIN!

After a season of caregiving and recovery, an unexpected sound in my backyard helped me reframe my ambition and how to approach life next. In this audio essay, I explore how not every quiet season needs us to rush through it. Sometimes the best lessons are in the slowest times. The only way what's next can emerge is if we give it the time it needs.

A reflection prompt to take with you: What changes when you realize your ambition may be less about forcing yourself into a future you think you want, and more about creating the space and time to notice what's actually ready within you to emerge?

This is part of Lessons Learned: Audio Essays. Audio essays on ambition, reinvention, resilience, and building a life you actually want. Written and read by me, Komal Minhas.

I publish the written version of the essay over on Substack: https://lessonslearnedwithkomal.subst...

Join the Lessons Learned Community: Paid subscribers on Substack get access to monthly live 75-minute planning salons where I lead you through my planning process that helped me build a million dollar business, interview some of the biggest leaders of our generation, and recover from hard seasons in a community you'll love. I hope to see you there!

Sign up here: https://lessonslearnedwithkomal.subst...

Thanks for listening, and I'll see you in the next one!

[1:26] - Why we need intersectional personal development spaces and curriculums

[5:46] - What helped me rise through difficulty, build confidence, and the life I wanted 

[10:15] - Why we need systems in place to take care of our well-being and goals in life and work

[21:15] - How you can spend 6 weeks with Komal building and advancing your resiliency, and a strong foundation and safety net in your life

[28:27] - How your life can change after choosing to invest in yourself: The Next Right  Step Alumni share their transformative experiences

Keep up with Komal at: 

https://www.instagram.com/komalminhas

Catch up on weekly content related to each episode at:

https://www.instagram.com/lessonslearned.co/

Find out all about Komal’s resilience building programs at:

https://www.instagram.com/trainwithkomal/

Work with Komal, grow your resiliency, and build a strong foundation and safety net for your life that propels you forward at www.komal.com/tnrs 

Lessons Learned is produced and hosted by Komal Minhas and by Renira Naidu with assistance from Daniela Ochoa

Creative Direction by Renira Naidu. 

Content  by Daniela Ochoa

Video Production and Audio Editing by Maddie Foran.

Have you ever spent months doing ‘quiet work’ to prepare for a new season in life and work? Have you taken the time to implement habits, routines, systems and structures you would need to succeed as you work towards your goals ahead?  In this episode, Komal talks about what it’s like to come out of a season of quiet work and bet on yourself as you set out to achieve your goals. 

1:51 – Questioning the goodness in our lives: Why do we do it? Why it’s equally as important for us to prepare for the goodness to come in our lives, as we tend to do for the “bad news”

3:33 – letting ourselves think about the potential of success: let yourself lean into the good when it shows up and believe in your success 

4:28 – Hear all about Komal’s new free workshops

Keep up with Komal at: 

https://www.instagram.com/komalminhas

Catch up on weekly content related to each episode at:

https://www.instagram.com/lessonslearned.co/

Find out all about Komal’s resilience building programs at:

https://www.instagram.com/trainwithkomal/

Join one of Komal’s three free workshops: “Rooted, Resilient and Inspired to Leap: The Six Keys to Unleashing Your Next Level Self and Unlocking Your Dream Life” at www.komal.com/workshop 

Lessons Learned is produced and hosted by Komal Minhas and by Renira Naidu with assistance from Daniela Ochoa

Creative Direction by Renira Naidu. 

Content  by Daniela Ochoa

Video Production and Audio Editing by Maddie Foran.

[8:18] -  What does it mean to live life on your own terms? When you think of your own definition and relationship to "success", what does success look like to you? Komal and Deepica talk about how people can have different definitions of success, and how our own definition of success has changed throughout our lives and careers.

[10:14] - When is it time to create a boundary with work? Komal shares what led her to draw a line in the sand when it came to her relationship to work and the expectations she had for herself, and how this experience completely transformed her life.

[13:55] - Navigating our relationship to work and wellness:  Deepica shares about her wish to create space in her life to care for herself and continue to make the impact that she wants to make by having a sustainable relationship to work.

[21:45] - What are some things that you have started doing to take care of yourself since the start of the pandemic that are now non-negotiables? Deepica and Komal talk about the small silver linings and moments of joy that they have found from this challenging time, and how being more mindful of these moments in our lives can help us find joy.

[26:55] - How connecting to your "Why" can help you shift your relationship to work: Deepica shares about her "Why" for creating her brand LiveTinted, and the ways that her mission to fight colorism grounds her in her purpose every day and allows her to persevere.

[30:04] - When we make decisions for ourselves because they feel right, we can unleash a domino effect: How showing up for your life as fully as you posssibly can, and as rooted in your identity and needs as possible can have a bigger impact that you can imagine.

Valarie Kaur is a civil rights attorney, Sikh activist, and author of “See No Stranger”. In this conversation, Komal talks to Valarie about the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, the concept of love as a verb that requires labour and care, and the ways that connecting to our ancestry and identity can help us amplify our impact and root into ourselves. Trigger warning: Mention of Sexual Assault.

[4:16] -  Rooting into our identities to persevere in the fight for justice: Valarie shares with us the story of how she began to root into her identity and found the Warrior Woman within her after receiving advice from her Grandfather to not 'abandon her post' in her struggle and fight for justice. She shares advice on how you can also connect to the warrior within you to fight for justice. 

[11:15] - How does one go about moving through and letting go of the identities that have been thrust upon them? Valarie shares how she has gone through the process of unlearning certain identities that have been thrust upon her, and how she has learned to root into the identities that she wants to be defined by moving forward. 

[19:59] - How letting emotions come and go can make you resilient:Komal and Valarie talk about the bravery that it takes to show up with empathy and love in order to fight for change and justice in any space that we exist in. 

[25:35] - The difference between reconciliation and forgiveness: Valarie shares her experience with forgiveness and reconciliation, and how forgiveness allowed her to heal herself. How learning to process one’s rage can connect us to the ability to fight for ourselves, and also love ourselves. 

[29:28] - Why tuning into your rage can be divine: How we can harness the energy of rage to channel our creative work into the world in a safe container. “The aim of divine rage is not vengeance, but to reorder the world.” - Valarie Kaur

[34:00] - How we can summon our ancestors to tune into our strength: Valarie shares how connecting to your ancestry can support you in showing up in the way that you are meant to in the world. 

“To see no stranger is not just about seeing others as a part of you that you do not know, but it is seeing yourself in a world that wants to make you a stranger to yourself.” - Valarie Kaur 

This week, Komal revisits a Mother’s Day episode she recorded last year about the lessons we have learned from our mothers. “I am bringing you into my relationship with two important women in my life, my mother (Ma), and my maternal grandmother (Nani Ma). I asked and recorded them sharing about the lessons their mothers taught them. It was the first time I’d ever heard my grandmother speak about her own mom, Ama. It was so beautiful and so funny.

I also share so many of the stories you all submitted about your lessons learned from the mothers in your life. Your wisdom is so powerful -- thank you for sharing your words and stories with me.” - Komal Minhas

• [3:40] Komal asks her Grandma and her Mother what lessons they learned from their own mothers and reflects on the lessons that have been passed down through generations of Mothers in her family  

• [8:39] Komal shares an important lesson she has learned from her Grandmother: that “we can remain soft, vulnerable, and empathetic in the face of enduring some of life’s greatest traumas”

• [15:30] Komal reflects on the resilience she has learned from her Mother throughout her lifetime and how they came out from hard times together even stronger 

• [21:45] Members from our community share the lessons they have learned from their own mothers, as well as their own experiences with mothering

• [30:55] “The lessons we learn from our mothers, we don’t really know them until we’ve lived them.” Komal reflects on how we can get clarity and understanding about the lessons our mothers taught us when we were younger as we grow old.

• [38:26] Who are we as a society without our mothers? The ones who take the time to check in, nurture us, and take care of us? Komal shares why it’s more important now, more than ever, to show our gratitude for those that are leaning into Mothering. 

Be sure to follow Komal (@komalminhas) and Lessons Learned (@lessonslearned.co) on Instagram to have your questions and stories featured in future episodes and subscribe to Komal on Youtube to watch the show each week.