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Are you kind to yourself?

Some of the most generous, caring, and wonderful people in the world forget to look after themselves too. However, if you’re not giving yourself the kindness you deserve, you can’t expect to enjoy a healthy level of emotional and spiritual wellness.

So, how do you show yourself some much-deserved kindness?

Like most things, the transition often starts with something small. You can start by simply recognizing when you’re having a difficult day and giving yourself permission to experience your emotions freely.

Consider these simple steps you can take to be kinder to yourself:

1. Forgive yourself.

This might seem simple, but it’s often the hardest thing for many people to do. When someone we love makes a mistake, we’re keen to jump in and forgive them. Yet somehow, we’re often too hard on ourselves and refuse ourselves that same forgiveness.

● Although you might not be able to automatically forgive yourself as quickly as you’d like, it’s important to start practicing as quickly as possible.

● The next time you find yourself being angry with something you’ve done, said, or thought, take a step back. Ask yourself how you would respond to a friend who had done the same thing. If you would forgive someone else, try to forgive yourself too.

2. Nourish your physical health.

Nourishing your physical health requires a constant commitment. However, it doesn’t have to be as complicated as it seems.

● For example, the next time you have lunch, ask yourself if you can choose the slightly healthier option. If you’re too tired to make something from scratch, ensure that you have some frozen meals ready to go, instead of picking up some fast-food.

● Think about how you can add small bits of extra physical activity into your day too. For instance, could you walk to the store rather than driving there? Not only will you get some extra exercise, but you’ll also save money on fuel and reduce your impact on the earth too.

3. Get help when you need it.

It’s easy to assume that you’re on your own when it comes to dealing with difficult things. However, help is often around if you’re willing to ask for it.

● If you’re struggling at work with a range of tasks that are too much for you to handle on your own, speak to your boss and ask for guidance.

● If you’re worried about your anxiety levels or mental health, don’t hide in your room and try to “get over it” on your own. Speak to a therapist or talk to your doctor about your options. Getting the right help when you need it can save you weeks and months of pain.

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How self-aware do you consider yourself to be?

● Are you aware of your strengths and weaknesses?

● Do you know what kind of things trigger your emotional and physical responses in daily life?

● Are you conscious of the opportunities and challenges that present themselves to you on a daily basis, and what your options are to overcome them?

Self-awareness is an often-underestimated skill that anyone can learn to improve with the right activities.

The more you understand yourself, the more likely it is that you’ll be able to reach your long-term goals, find happiness, and even strengthen your overall confidence and self-esteem.

Today, we’re going to be looking at some of the ways you can quickly and effectively raise your self-awareness and overcome moments of confusion.

Defining Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the art of paying attention to the way you think, behave, and feel. It means looking carefully at patterns in the way you perceive the world, yourself, and the people around you.

Self-awareness also includes understanding your moods and emotions and how they influence the things you do.

Someone who is self-aware can pay attention to their actions in any situation and determine whether they’re really taking the best steps to preserve their interests, or whether they could be walking in the wrong direction.

If you have negative default responses to things, self-awareness can help you to overcome them. For instance, those with alcohol issues or cigarette addictions often benefit from becoming more self-aware.

So, how do you become more self-aware? Try these techniques.

1. Notice What Bothers You About Others

This might seem counterproductive, as paying attention to others pulls the focus away from you. However, sometimes, when we’re struggling with our own self-awareness, we find it easier to project the things we don’t like in ourselves onto other people.

For instance, you might find that you absolutely hate it when others lie to you. However, if you look a little closer at your own actions, you might discover that you have a tendency to bend the truth too – even if only in certain aspects of your life.

Make a list of the properties you dislike about other people and try to focus on pinpointing the moments when you show those characteristics yourself.

At the same time, it may also be helpful to make a list of the things you like to see in others, so you can actively try to show more of those properties yourself.

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Many of us wish that we could be a little more ambitious. We’re ambitious enough to create a comfortable life, but we lack the ambition to create an amazing life. We gravitate toward comfort rather than embrace the change that building an amazing life requires. We are capable of much, much more.

Ambition might seem like an innate trait that can’t be developed, but that’s false. Ambition is created by following a few simple rules and ideas.

You can create greater ambition with these strategies:

1. Set rewarding goals.

One of the signs that you have set great goals is the amount of motivation you feel when you imagine yourself achieving them. So, setting bigger and more exciting goals will increase your motivation and ambition.

● Also, keep in mind that we rarely succeed at a level beyond our goals. If anything, we tend to fall a little short of our goals. Setting bigger goals is one way to have more ambition.

2. Get a coach or mentor.

The right coach will help you to be more successful and help you to get there much faster. The world knows that you’re serious when you hire an expert to help you. You’ll also feel more motivated to do your best!

3. Use your talents and skills.

Leveraging your talents and skills makes life easier. It’s hard to feel ambitious when you have to navigate through your weaknesses. Focus on utilizing your talents. You’ll feel more motivated to be highly successful.

● Make a list of your great greatest talents and skills. How can you use them to your advantage? Avoid your weaknesses and utilize your strengths.

4. Stick to your interests.

Do what you like. Think about it. If your goals revolve around something that interests you, it’s not really work. The greatest guitarists in the world love to play the guitar. Those that excel at mergers and acquisitions love to make deals.

● It’s nearly impossible to be great at something you don’t like to do.

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Inspiration is a curious thing. It’s been described as exalted and divine. It’s also part of ordinary life. It’s something that comes to you without any effort on your part. It’s also something that you can influence with your actions.

Dictionaries define inspiration as a kind of sudden mental stimulation. A brilliant idea pops into your head while you’re taking a shower. Something you see out a car window triggers thoughts for a new invention or a different career.

Learn more about how inspiration can brighten your life, along with strategies for enjoying more aha moments.

Benefits of Inspiration:

1. Change your behavior.

Research shows that adults who experience higher amounts of inspiration tend to have more compelling goals and make more progress in realizing them. It’s another reason to keep challenging yourself.

2. Increase your engagement.

Inspiration transforms your to do list from things you have to do into things you want to do. Your life has more purpose.

3. Enjoy greater happiness.

Imagine being excited about Mondays and doing laundry. Inspiration wakes you up to the beauty of daily life.

How to Feel More Inspired:

1. Build your self-esteem.

Researchers have also examined personality traits associated with inspiration. A healthy self-image is essential. Accept and appreciate yourself for who you are.

2. Think positive.

Optimism helps too. Look on the bright side and focus on the things you can control. Take a break from TV news if it’s making you feel anxious.

3. Cultivate gratitude.

Being thankful is especially powerful. Keep a journal to remind you of your blessings. Let others know that they make a difference in your life.

4. Be spontaneous.

When was the last time you did something on the spur of the moment? Shake up your routines by packing a picnic lunch or building a fort with your kids.

5. Honor your needs.

You’re more likely to feel transported when you work at staying fit. Eat a nutritious diet, exercise regularly, and aim for 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night. Manage stress and take refreshing breaks before you feel fatigued.

6. Observe role models. Enthusiasm is contagious.

Surround yourself with friends and colleagues who feel passionate about what they do.

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Have you ever been surrounded by a group of people, yet felt completely alone? Do you ever get overwhelmed by the idea of socializing or socializing in large groups? Do you feel recharged when you spend time doing hobbies on your own?

It’s possible you might be an introvert.

Introverts are generally reserved or quiet people who find they expend a lot of energy from being in a crowd.

There is nothing wrong with being an introvert and recharging during alone time. However, some introverts stay in their head so much that it holds them back from interacting with those around them.

If you identify as an introvert, and want to be less reserved, here are ways you can get out of your head and interact with the present.

Tips to overcoming introversion:

1. Practice relating to others.

Most introverts would rather listen than talk. Many introverts deflect attention from them by asking question after question. One way to overcome introversion is to practice relating to others by sharing how you relate to them.

● “I really relate to what you said about…(topic). I experienced (what you experienced.”

2. Don’t limit yourself with the introversion label.

We can use our identity to our disadvantage by saying things like, “I’m introverted, so I won’t enjoy this situation.” While it’s perfectly normal for us to choose situations that fulfill us, it’s important to also look for opportunities to grow and challenge ourselves.

● You can be introverted and take action to enjoy a group setting, such as finding one person you can have an in-depth conversation with.
● You can be introverted and start a conversation with someone! Try beginning the conversation by complimenting the other person and see if there’s an opportunity to say more.

3. Be proactive.

Create a plan that takes you out of your comfort zone. Regardless of whether you identify as an introvert or extrovert, learning how to be proactive to achieve your goals will help you grow in life.

● If your goal is to make more close friends, schedule one coffee date per week with someone to get to know them better.

● If your goal is to speak up more at work, create a plan to speak up more often in meetings or privately with your boss.

4. Give yourself time to recharge.

Plan a day or night where you can do activities that recharge you. For example, reserve Sunday evenings to yourself so you can do art, read a book, or binge Netflix. Or, if you’re at a busy event, find a quiet space where you can spend 10-15 minutes recharging.

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Merriam-Webster defines empathy as:

“The action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.”

It might seem like empathy is something that you do for others, but it’s not just other people that benefit from your empathy. Your empathy benefits you just as much as it does other people.

See how being empathetic enhances your life in countless ways:

1. It enhances your relationships.

When you’re empathetic, you understand the thoughts and emotions of others. Empathy greatly reduces the occurrence of misunderstandings. You’ll also be far less likely to offend anyone in your life.

2. Empathy improves your ability to form new relationships.

It’s not just current relationships that benefit from your empathy. Your ability to create new relationships is also greatly improved. Empathetic people are likeable and able to bond with others more easily.

3. Your ability to negotiate is greatly enhanced.

A high degree of empathy will increase your ability to negotiate with your kids, spouse, partner, boss or business associates.

4. Empathy can help your career.

Navigating your way through the workplace becomes easier when your empathic skills are at a high level. You begin to understand what everyone at work needs and wants. Knowing this information makes you a powerful person.

5. Your self-esteem improves.

When you get along better with others, are liked by more people, and are more successful in general, your self-esteem goes through the roof.

6. It makes you more valuable to others.

People like people that are empathetic. Your ability to influence others is greatly affected by your ability to be empathetic. When you have a high degree of influence over others, you’re in a position to do more for your friends, family, employer, customers, and clients.

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Many situations in life are beyond our immediate control. Some things are unpredictable and unavoidable. However, your mindset is something that you can learn to control 100%.

With practice, your mindset can be whatever you choose it to be. This is a powerful skill to possess. You can overcome nearly any situation with an effective mindset and some patience.

A negative mindset practically guarantees a lot of challenges in life. A positive mindset doesn’t guarantee smooth sailing, but it’s a tremendous help!

Your mindset influences your happiness and success!

Try these techniques to develop a positive mindset that propels you toward the life you want:

1. Look for a solution.

Looking for a solution is an optimistic perspective. Focusing on the challenge only drags down your mindset and your mood. Those with a positive mindset expect to find a solution to their problems.

● Seeking a solution is much more effective than wallowing in a problem.

2. Remember that your mindset is a choice you make.

You get to choose your mindset. You might have a tendency to view the world in a certain way right now. However, you can make the choice to have a new mindset that better serves you. You can direct your focus as you choose.

3. Be willing and able to laugh at all times.

Life is short. There’s humor to be found in many negative situations. If all seems lost, a good laugh isn’t going to hurt, but it might help.

4. Use your self-talk to your advantage. What you say to yourself matters.

The images you view in your mind and the words you say to yourself influence your thoughts and mindset. Positive words and pictures lead to a positive mindset.

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The news and social media are very popular. We love to hear about all the drama of life on the news. Unfortunately, the news isn’t designed to be helpful, it’s designed to get as many people watching it as possible.

We also like to know what our friends, family, coworkers, enemies, and exes are up to on social media. Social media is designed to be addictive. Social media companies want you to stay engaged as long as possible. It’s the best thing for their revenue.

See how the news and social media could be harming you:

1. Your brain focuses on negative news and situations.

Your brain is largely preoccupied with keeping you alive. This means it pays extra close attention to negative situations and news. The positive stuff isn’t going to hurt you and is quickly ignored.

● When your brain is focused on negative information, you’re not going to feel your best.

2. Social media leads to comparisons.

Your best friend from high school just bought a brand-new car. Your coworker just bought a brand-new house with a swimming pool. Your neighbor is on vacation in Tahiti. Social media is there to make sure you know all about it.

● It's hard not to compare your life to everyone else’s on social media. When it seems like your life pales by comparison, you're bound to feel negatively about your life.

3. Social media and the news are distracting.

Social media and the News are designed to capture your attention. The longer that they are able to keep you and everyone else looking, the more money they make through advertising. Both have the intention of being addicting.

● It's not easy to accomplish anything when you're distracted on a regular basis.

4. Social media and the news are misleading. Most of the people on social media are not being honest about their lives.

They're attempting to present the best possible version of their lives to you.

● The news isn't much better. For example, Fox News presents the news in a way that appeals to a conservative audience. MSNBC presents the news in a way that appeals to a liberal audience. Neither does a good job of telling the whole story.

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Reading is such a great habit to possess. Think about all that regular reading can accomplish.

Some of the smartest, most successful, and most interesting people in the world have written books. They write down the things they consider to be most relevant. They acquired this knowledge over a lifetime of observation, trial and error, and experience.

For $17 or a quick trip to the library, you can have this information. For a few hours of work and a few dollars, you can get inside the head of some of the most amazing people that have ever lived!

If you’re a lover of fiction, you can entertain yourself for little to no cost.

But reading has additional benefits, too. It’s great for your brain health and cognition, lowers blood pressure and stress, and increases your empathy for others.

Practice these techniques to develop a lifelong reading habit and you’ll enhance your life in multiple ways:

1. Establish a schedule for reading.

Establishing a habit requires repeating a behavior on a regular basis. Make a schedule for your reading that you can stick to. Many people like to read in bed, but it’s common to quickly become too tired to read! Take an honest look at your schedule and set aside the time you need.

2. Only read books that appeal to you.

It’s easier to read daily if you read something enjoyable. Avoid forcing yourself to read books that don’t interest you just because it’s on someone’s reading list.

3. Be willing to toss a book aside and start another.

Just because you start a book doesn’t mean you have to finish it. Build a stronger reading habit by ditching the books you don’t like and giving another book a chance.

4. Create the best possible reading environment.

Where will you read? Comfortable seating and good lighting are important. Silence is also necessary for many readers. The best reading environment is up to you but make an effort to optimize it.

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You might think that being intelligent or hardworking is the greatest predictor of success, but you’d be wrong. Those are tremendous attributes to possess, but it’s easy to find people with those qualities who aren’t highly successful. You probably know someone that is very intelligent but isn’t doing well in life.

You also know someone that works three jobs to make ends meet but is still struggling. Many manual labor jobs require hard work, but most of the people with these jobs aren’t commonly viewed as successful.

Conscientiousness is the best character trait to possess if you want to be successful. Someone that is conscientious does what needs to be done and does it with the intention of doing it well. Think about how much easier your life would be if you could just be more conscientious.

It’s simply the trait of taking care of one’s business and doing it at a high level. Think about the conscientious people you know. They are successful beyond what you’d predict from their intelligence and skills.

Practice these tips to become more conscientious, and you’ll become more successful:

1. Understand the importance of conscientiousness.

Knowing how important it is to your future will fuel your motivation to build this important trait. Understanding is a great first step to developing a higher level of conscientiousness.

2. Be on time.

A simple way to begin building conscientiousness is to take more responsibility for your time. When you decide to be someplace at a certain time, hold yourself to that agreement with yourself. Life is a lot easier when you’re not running late. The people that might be waiting on your arrival will be happier with you, too.

3. Plan your day and follow your plan.

This is the bread and butter of building conscientiousness. Have a plan for your day in place before you begin your day. You’ll waste far less time and accomplish far more. All you have to do is put your head down and follow the plan.

4. Finish what you start.

Conscientious people are great at finishing what they begin. Avoid leaving any task unfinished. Push through any resistance you feel and be a finisher. For example, if you plan on spending 30 minutes on the treadmill, don’t let yourself quit at 25 minutes. Don’t stop until it’s done.

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