Let's Talk Bruh

Welcome to Part 1 of our Black Man's Guide for Mental Health series. First up? Anxiety.

As your hosts, you've heard us joke a lot about how we're both introverts and experience slight to moderate to sometimes extreme cases of social anxiety in various spaces of our lives. But along with social anxiety, what are some other types of anxiety? How does anxiety show up in our lives as Black men? Can anxiety ever go away?

Our guest Dwayne James aka Waynes_Ambition, a licensed Social Worker specializing in mental health joins us to today to answer a few of our questions. 

We break down the clinical definition of anxiety as well as Dwayne's personal definition of anxiety and he offers several insightful strategies we can all implement today to improve our anxiety.  

Tune in next week for Part 2 of our Black Man's Guide for Mental Health series as we tackle Depression.

A list of resources mentioned in this week's episode:

• Men Hide Their Anxiety Behind These Tell-Tale Behaviors (Vice)
• A look at how anxiety affects African-Americans (NBC News)
• The Link Between Experiences of Racism and Stress and Anxiety for Black Americans (Anxiety.org)

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Invisible work. Thankless jobs. When we talk about Emotional Labor these are some of the things we're talking about.  If you've been following us on Instagram this week you've seen women say the following things regarding emotional labor:

- Emotional labor takes work. And emotional labor is not just for women to deal with 

- Women are doing the extra work in your platonic/familiar relationships too. 

- It's not our job to bear it for you. It's exhausting. We don't want to be your therapist.

Whew. Heavy right? Well it's important to understand how women and femmes have been feeling about emotional labor and why it's wrong for them to shoulder the burden of this.  

So this week we discuss what emotional labor is, how it has showed up in our lives, but also give a few next steps as far as what we can do to close the emotional labor gap in our relationships. 

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Brotherhood. Growing up Black. Growing up fast. Relationships. Trying to make it out alive.  What do all of these things have in common? They're all significant themes present in both films in Part 2 of our Black Masculinity in Film series.  

Boyz n the Hood (1991) & The Wood (1999).  Two films both set in Southern California - South Central LA & Inglewood respectively. Both films being "coming of age" classics centered around 3 Black males attempting to mature from boys to men. 

One film centering on the trauma and hardship of growing up black in the hood while the other film highlighting a trauma-less story shedding light on everyday life growing up Black and male.

What both films certainly accomplished was the ability to highlight various aspects of black masculinity and opening the door for the future of Black films to be made. 

We'd also be remiss if we did not mention the tragic passing of Boyz n the Hood director John Singleton last week.  At only 23 years of age, he directed his first film, Boyz n the Hood. A film touching on many themes that would still be relevant nearly 30 years later.

We thank John Singleton for his work beautifully telling the stories of Black people in film throughout his career and we wish his family and friends the healing they need during this time. RIP John Singleton.  

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Malcolm X. Shaft. Two names. 1 real. 1 fictional character. But both extremely important in film and real life in terms of their impact on Black Masculinity.

Today we explore the 1971 blaxploitation classic Shaft starring Richard Roundtree, directed by Gordon Parks alongside Spike Lee's 1992 classic Malcolm X starring Denzel Washington.  

Why these 2 films? Well there's more commonalities than you may think.  Black men in leadership. Cool.  Poor & Black and at times both having similar conceptions of what being a black man is supposed to be and look like in the face of whiteness.

Following the deaths of notable civil rights leaders in the 60s like Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., and Fred Hampton, in the 70s many black folks and specifically Black men wanted to see themselves as powerful and win by sticking it to "The Man" even if it was just on screen.

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Admit it. At some point whether it was 10 years ago or 10 days ago, you've experimented in some type of way with your hair.  Growing up, YouTube videos and Instagram pages dedicated to Black haircare weren't the norm so experimenting with unhealthy hair products and practices were Black rites of passage.  

And when it comes to Black men, as long as our shape up is tight, we're all good right? Naw. Growing up we put all types of wild shit in our hair from sporting waves, to our sister's Luster's pink lotion, to whatever jojoba oil and jamaican black castor oil our homegirl put us on to.

So what can be done? On this episode we hear from Jeremy's actual real life barber @GuidedHands as he schools us on the importance of knowing what kind of hair you have, finding the right products for the hair type, and what do with our hair as the temperature picks up. 

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Email us your questions/comments/feedback at [email protected] and we'll read and respond to your email on an upcoming episode.

Left out. Forgotten. Not cared for. Do any of these resonate for you as a Black man? Sometimes as Black men we feel the weight of the world on our shoulders.  On average, our life expectancy is the lowest, our suicides rates are at an all-time high, mass incarceration and police brutality are everyday issues and many of us feel we don't have enough spaces to be vulnerable with our most pressing mental health issues. On top of that, we hear our sisters, as justified as it is at times, tell us "men are trash" and "niggas aint shit" on the daily.  Truth be told, all of this is EXHAUSTING.

So what can be done?

On this episode we talk about feeling left out, not cared for, and forgotten, BUT we also talk about the fact that there are indeed plenty of people, resources, and spaces created by Black men and women who do care about Black men.  Tune in now.

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What's the meaning of life? How do we find our purpose? What happens when we die? What does this all mean for Black men?  We spend the next hour and change trying to figure out life in one episode. Spoiler alert: We end up not being able to figure everything out.  We answer a few things, but we probably end up with more questions than answers. 

As Black men we already feel like our time here is limited. I mean, shit at the time of this recording Nipsey Hussle was still with us.  How do we make sense of today when tomorrow isn't promised? How do we find purpose for the rest of our lives and the future, but find time to enjoy the present?

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Email us your questions/comments/feedback at [email protected] and we'll read and respond to your email on an upcoming episode.

MINI EPISODE ALERT

Today we're hitting yall with a mini-episode that really serves as a preview for next week.  This week on Let's Talk Bruh we're talking a little bit about the existential crises that we all have at certain point in our lives.

As your hosts, being in our late 20s, we're both at the place in our lives where we've seriously started to question and consider next steps when it comes to career, family, relationships, and kids. 

What happens when you get to a place in your career and you start to question your purpose? What happens when you lose your confidence? What does all this mean for Black men in terms of our definition of masculinity? 

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Email us your questions/comments/feedback at [email protected] and we'll read and respond to your email on an upcoming episode.

Hoteps, Noteps, Fauxteps, & The Ankh Right: Why Some Black men find liberation in these movements

It's 2019 and if you've been on the internet at all in the last few years you probably know how to identify what is commonly referred to as a modern day hotep.

Afrocentric. Pro Black. Anti LGBTQ. Anti Feminist. Fear of the destruction of the Black family. Fear of the Black masculinity being under attack.

But let's rewind and actually understand that the word "hotep" is a greeting and roughly translates to, "To be at peace or satisfaction." But at what point did the word hotep lose its original meaning and become appropriated to something more negative?

We talk briefly about the history of hotep, and really try to investigate why some Black men (& some women) find liberation in these modern day hotep movements.  It's important to note that many of the modern day hotep talking points directly mirror language used by white supremacists and the alt-right. 

We close the conversation by discussing what liberation looks like for us and interrogate our usage of the word hotep. Should we use fauxtep, notep, or anhk-right instead? Tune in to find out. 

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Email us your questions/comments/feedback at [email protected] and we'll read and respond to your email on an upcoming episode.

Our personal hoop dreams for the NBA ended years ago, but as avid fans of the basketball, football, baseball and other sports we clearly had a vested interested in this week's episode.

When talking about masculinity in sports, like other areas of life, there is a certain type of  acceptable masculinity.  The fire, passion, competitive spirit and in some cases aggressiveness that sports fosters can help create a healthy masculinity, but what happens when that shit becomes toxic? And if we're being real, don't we all at times enjoy the toxic masculinity that comes out in sports? The shit-talking, the hard hits in football, the win at all costs mentality. 

We also talk about the safe space of the locker room and how it can be a breeding ground for toxicity but also a safe space for freedom of expression.  Like the the twerking video of NFL Player Bernard Pollard we posted this week.

Sports provides a healthy outlet for many of us as youth and for a very select few Black men an opportunity to change the course of their lives forever.  But how much are we willing to sacrifice a healthy masculinity for the betterment of the game or a team?

For information on Black Men Heal and an opportunity for 8 free therapy sessions for Black Men visit their website here: Black Men Heal

Follow Let's Talk Bruh on Twitter & Instagram

Join our Men's Facebook Group here: Let's Talk Bruh Facebook Group

Email us your questions/comments/feedback at [email protected] and we'll read and respond to your email on an upcoming episode.