Most parents will tell you that each of their children has a special gift that contributes to the health and wealth of the family. One offspring is the empathic one that senses when another family member is sad. One is the conversationalist who brings lots of questions and reports to the family table. Yet another is the life of the party who entertains the lot, keeping the mood (and noise level) high. I recently had cause to reflect on these individual gifts of the kids I raised who are now

The conversation I recently enjoyed with a small group of mothers was like many I’ve experienced before. Love shining in their eyes, they shared universal hopes for their children. The first mother shared her hope that her child would be healthy. The second shared her desire for her child to be safe. The third spoke of wanting her child to do well in school. These hopes and dreams for children are on the lips and in the hearts of every parent I know. What made these parents’ comments unique were

Newborns gaze into their parents’ faces, seeking connection with those who care for them. Older babies look at adults’ faces to try to understand how to read an uncertain situation. Toddlers reference their parents’ faces to check in on how far they can push the limits. And for the rest of their lives, those children will continue to use this skill of gaining important information by reading the faces of others to figure out their world. The messages we read on others’ faces convey more powerful

Two-year-old Nick was deeply engrossed rolling his new cars along his race track when his dad called him to the table for supper. Once seated, he played with his food and kicked his feet, all the while glancing over at the abandoned race track. His parents, deeply concerned about his nutrition, kept encouraging him to eat something. “Just two bites of your chicken,” implored his mom to no avail. Nick was not having the chicken, nor anything else on his plate. The same resistance occurs when a

“Brave is the new pretty.” I saw these words on a plaque for a girl’s bedroom recently, and it heartened me. I’m grateful to think that parents value the courage their children (male and female) will need to bring to our culture. Pretty early on, kids figure out that this world is often a cruel one. They experience a bite from another child at play group. Soon they watch as one child taunts another, and when they go to school they see real bullying in action. No doubt about it, life is not for

You can’t throw a stick at a group of parents without hitting one who’s actively pining for her children to be different from the way they are. While we love them the way they are (We do! We really do!), we can’t help wishing they would change. We want them to change because we love them so much and we want their lives to be perfect, as if that were even a possibility. And so we try to change them when we see habits or natures that might trip them up down the road. But here’s the rub. No person

Comedian Ray Romano quips that “having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.”

A mother explained that she plans a tight schedule for her kids, allowing for little “down time.” In her experience, when kids have time on their hands, trouble results. And I get that. Like the old adage that “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop,” I remember plenty of times in my own house when kids with not enough to do would stir up misbehavior for its own sake. This parent has a good point, undoubtedly borne out by experience with her own three rowdy children. But sometimes I wonder about

My granddaughter recently delighted me with her recitation of a long poem about the American Presidents. While it may not have been great literature, it contained important information, which I believe she will retain for a lifetime. The mental discipline involved in her learning it inspired me to reflect on my own childhood attempts to memorize poetry. The need for memorizing a poem has been challenged during these days when anything can be found with a few taps on a smartphone. But there are

Family dinner conversations flow with the casserole to cement a family together like few other activities. Meg Conley, a writer for the Huffington Post, focuses on topics related to raising children. A recent article of hers inspired me. In it, she shared a practice she and her husband have implemented around family dinners. In an effort to reconnect each evening, they ask the same three questions at dinner: How were you brave today? How were you kind today? And how did you fail today? As they