Letters From Therapy Podcast

I’m Kate, a psychotherapist writing about personal growth, for you to flourish in a life you love! Upgrade here for the Bloom Sessions and to support my work! 🤍

Dear friends,

Before we get into today’s post, my updated 80 page Intentional Living Workbook to keep forever is still on offer with 60% off! If you feel stuck and ready for actionable self-discovery work to feel clear and confident in every aspect of your life. Click to learn more.

🌿Download Your 80 Page Intentional Living Workbook here!

Back to today!

If you’re here reading this, I guess you may be a deep thinker like me. I’m often reflecting about atoms and earth, time and space, love and souls, and why my neighbour pretended she didn’t see me last week.

In between, I wonder where all the odd socks are, if dusty corners are acceptable in society, and what ‘fridge surprise’ to cook for dinner.

If your head is often in the clouds, you’ll need to keep your feet on the ground.

This giant rock we live on has produced life, including yours and mine. Let’s not forget about our ancestors who go back thousands of years, who used the earth for homes, food, shelter and inspiration - as we do now, though more intimately, and elementally, with their hands dirty.

When loved ones die, we sprinkle earth into their graves, or scatter their dust into the winds. Maybe you’ve done this too. We send them back to nature where they came from, rejoining them with the earth that bore them.

Modern life is a far cry from how our ancient ancestors lived, for both good and bad, and far from what our minds and bodies evolved for.

When we are distressed, we can detach from our beloved earth and spiral in thought and feeling, losing ourselves in intense emotion. Chaos reigns.

Though horrible, this is normal, as our psyche reorganises against an event, a change, a realisation, an intense bereavement. Our mind’s structure sometimes needs to go through a seismic shift, like mine did after my little babies died all those years ago.

The pain is what we feel while our mind updates to a new reality. It can feel like a volcano erupting as tectonic plates shift against each other, and form a new structure.

It’s not normal if we feel like that all the time, like those who suffer with anxiety disorder, or because they have become so engrossed in a story of life that they are detached from reality. (In extreme cases, this is the chaos of psychosis).

When there is an earthquake, people often feel like they are going crazy, as they feel the ground beneath their feet literally move and yet it is still there.

When life is unstable, you don’t have to be.

I know many of you enjoyed my ‘30 Second Calm Reset’ post, and the ‘The World Will Hold You,’ to make good use of your breath and your senses, to make sure you keep your s**t together.

Todays post is another simple tool if, like me, your head is often on the clouds, or if things get on top of you (and I don’t mean the missing socks).

Grounding with your Feet Exercise

This simple exercise cuts through spiralling thoughts and dis-regulated emotion, whether there is an obvious cause or not. It is another quick way to become present, wherever you are. You can read it, then try it.

Stand up if you can. Feel your feet weighted on the solid ground as it supports you. Notice the strength of the earth beneath you. Notice the point of contact between your feet: toes, heels, soles, and the ground.

Imagine the earth’s strength rising into you. Notice the strength of your own body - your feet, your legs, hips, spine, torso, all grounded in this space, tall and strong with the earths energy rising up through you.

If you are sitting, you can feel the ground and the support of the chair beneath you.

Do this for a minute or three. At home, at work, in the forest or with chaos all around you.

(Bonus points if you do this outside in bare feet!)

That’s it.

You and your earth, strong, solid, together, made of the same stardust. You, swirling too with your unique and beautiful life and soul.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your here by pressing the like. So, how did you find it?

Tell us how you got on in the comments?

Do you know any other grounding techniques that help you?

With love,

Kate

P.S. Feel free to share this post or restack on Substack. This helps me reach more people who may enjoy this!

🌿Get the updated 80 page Intentional Living Workbook here!

I’m Kate, a psychotherapist writing about personal growth, for you to flourish in a life you love! Upgrade here for the Bloom Sessions and to support my work! 🤍

Hi friends,

This was my most popular post last year, so I thought you might like to read it again!

When dark forces swirled around my life, I became a good catcher. I wasn’t always. As curveballs flew around me, like redundancy, loss, ostracism, and bullying, I got buried under the rubble.

Not now.

We know life is beautiful, though studded with unpredictable shocks and crushing disappointments. With grief. With pain. Abuse and mistreatment in our own lives and around the world march on. The turning of blind eyes twists the dagger. We can end up with lurking unfinished business (see my recent posts) if we aren’t able to cope well.

If we lack resilience it can be hard to come back from the edge and find ourselves again.

When I lost my babies all those years ago, the whole of existence tumbled through my soul at once, Dante’s Inferno raging inside, while I stumbled on with my pasted-on smile.

In my young life, I never imagined I would be the unlikely statistic who walked out of the maternity ward to a chorus of newborn babies crying, while my own daughter’s body was wheeled to the morgue.

I would never have predicted that I would be the one people turned away from. That I would one day be bullied, by a psychotherapist, no less.

I couldn’t have predicted that it would be me, a healthy-eating, running yogi, who developed a new disease with no treatment after a once in a life time pandemic.

How can we build resilience to survive the hard things we experience and have our souls still sing?

By creating a safe ground for ourselves, we can stand strong while lava shifts the sands around our feet, until we find our way forward.

How Can We Build Our Resilience in an Uncertain World?

* We could make sure we feel good enough.

It takes work in our modern world to fully accept ourselves, which is why I share all this with you.

* We could make sure we are well regulated.

We have strong bones. We have flexible muscles and soft tissue. Tendons and brain. All fed by a network of nerves signalling to us truth - and lies. If your nervous system is still reacting to the past, stay regulated and come home to the wonder that is your body, with my free Simple Tools including Grounding with your Feet, the Simple Calm Breathing Reset, or Anchoring With Your Senses, all to connect with and regulate your body. (I also keep a window of tolerance PDF on the therapy tools page.)

* We could reach out for support.

We don’t need to do it all alone. Understanding friends, who bring their light to the world too, through their own cracks will light you up.

* We could strengthen our boundaries.

Once we are aware of ourselves and our needs, we don’t need to be candles in the wind. We can find our edges. Our limits. And tell them to the world. This gives us freedom. We can check in with our emotions to find where to draw the line. I don’t take on clients now, but I do love to write. I don’t drink or go out for expensive meals, but who doesn’t like a free dog walk or a coffee and a chat?

* We could keep an open mind.

Who knows what the wind will blow into our lives. Dirt or butterflies, let’s be ready for it all. Life rarely turns out the way we planned. There are no neat lines here.

* We could celebrate our wins.

I embrace my unconventional, oddly shaped life now, rather than hiding. We could remind ourselves that we are valuable by acknowledging what we bring to the world as we did on my last post Celebrate Your Gifts and Contributions.

* We could get clear on what we can and can’t control.

This is the key to riding the waves of uncertainty, and limiting pain. (Paid subscribers see the PDF on the Therapy Tools page).

* We could shift into gratitude.

I could focus on my babies in limbo, lost to the depths of time, or on my beautiful, living daughter, bright with hope. Read about gratitude that lights the dark on my Substack.

* We could look for the good in others.

We could see their inner Mother Teresa, Christ, Allah or Buddha, and find them in ourselves.

There is so much more good in the world than bad.

There is light.

There is hope.

There is kindness.

Feed what you want to grow

If your mind hasn’t caught up with events from the past, I have so many materials that help, like the Bloom Sessions and the Heal Your Past series.

If you enjoyed this, please press the heart to let me know you are reading - it really helps me! And please share if you think it may help someone else.

What can you do today to strengthen your resilience? What has helped you recover in hard times?

Much love,

Kate

P.S. If you’d like to keep reading and support my work, please consider upgrading.

“You could search the whole world over and find no-one more deserving of your love and compassion than yourself.” Buddha

“A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows.” Anon

Join me for this beautiful 15 minute guided meditation to renew your body and soul with the abundant energy of the sun. At the time of the summer solstice when the days are at the longest and the sun shines its brightest, we reach turning point in the year. We can align ourselves w…

There is a woman in my dreams who lives in a beautiful house in the countryside.

A tranquil home with breathtaking views of sweeping hills, where honey stone walls drip with low hanging wisteria, cocooned by its sweet scent. Lush green grass grows in front. The greenhouse and kitchen garden burst with nourishing sustenance.

And I wonder: What would a woman who lives here do every day?

She writes, and creates art - tinkering in a workshop, or painting and sketching. She tends to her garden. She picks fresh flowers for her table and appreciates their miraculous beauty, filling her lungs with their scent.

As she walks with her dog over the rolling hills, the breeze strokes her skin, and the earth’s strength underfoot brings her power. The breathtaking beauty of her surroundings restore her.

Her body is well nourished with simple food. She embraces aging with fondness for every new line, bump, or pain. Care is daily stretching, yoga, gentle exercise and rest. She feels fortunate to understand the miracle of her life. She loves her home.

Meditation is a daily practice, calming her into a golden, inner bliss.

For those who once clipped her wings, she offers forgiveness.

She understands her flaws, her limitations, and still works on herself. A moth may land on her heart when memories of all she has lost return.

If demons rise, she acknowledges them, and sends them out into the winds. She sings kindness to her past selves, if regret or pain should rear their head.

Friends and family enjoy her home too, relaxing, comforting, or belly laughing together. She welcomes soulful wanderers in, in person and in writing, to reenergise and inspire. To shine a light. She provides a place of love, and solace to restore weary hearts.

Gratitude is knitted into her life. She acknowledges her good fortune to have enough; to be safe; to be nourished; to be alive.

My dream woman’s life is possible for me right now.

I am already her when I choose to be, just somewhere else.

I am her in a small suburban flat with a tiny garden, earning less than my peers, but with enough. I feel her feelings, her gratitude, her bliss: it is a practice. I create every day, and I write. I notice nature, just in smaller parks and gardens.

I already live as she lives.

We exist in a world of infinite possibility.

Life is a practice.

Maybe you too are closer to your dream than you think.

...more on Substack

I’m Kate, a psychotherapist, and I am excited to tell you about my inspiring guided meditations and visualisations to nurture your soul, accept yourself and find deeper meaning.

These ten minute meditations will leave you calm, inspired, content, healed, abundant, joyful, confident and full of wisdom and love!

See you there! Kate

Dear Friends

What piece of advice would you give your 18 year old self?

I am lucky enough to be a mother to a lovely daughter, and I wrote this letter for her on her 18th birthday last year and wanted to share it again. Loosing two baby girls either side of her made me so much more aware of how lucky I am to be a mother; it is not something I ever take for granted.

Now, she is 19, my experience of motherhood has shifted of course. I recall so many mistakes and memories that swirl with my hopes and dreams for her.

All those things she didn’t do or have growing up, because I am her mother. My heart sings for all the unexpected things I gave her instead, and what she created for herself. She is wiser than I was, cooler and braver. And she was always safe and loved. She has her own dreams now, and I want to empower her, and women everywhere, to be herself.

This letter holds everything I wish I had known before. It is for her, but also for all our young selves, and to all our sons and daughters.

Dear Daughter

I am so proud of you!

You have so much ahead, a beautiful life you can create as you want. You can choose your path, and will change as you go. Life can be painful, as well as fun and beautiful.

Remember that the sky is always blue, and the sun is always shining!

Life will throw curveballs and you will catch them, as you already do! Don’t worry if you drop some balls: they weren’t meant for you.

Perfect people are annoying!

You will have periods of growth and change, and fallow periods where you do very little, and nothing seems that exciting. Embrace it all!

Look after yourself. Nourish your body, mind and soul: a little effort goes a long way. We need maintenance like a car, or a garden, but without obsessing about it! This will make you strong so you can follow your dreams and give you reserves when you need to bounce back.

Keep in mind where you want to be one day and follow that path. Take care over the rocks, and don’t forget to look at the view!

Have fun and be happy! When it rains look for rainbows, when it’s dark, look for stars.

You’ll have different friends for different phases or parts of your life. Some deep and meaningful, some fun and frivolous. Let go of people who aren’t meant for you, or when you out grow each other. We can’t all get on and that’s fine!

Don’t worry what others think of you. People think about you far less often than you imagine. Notice how people make you feel. Keep them close if you feel good, if not, maybe they aren’t right for you.

If you feel you don’t fit in or belong, either it’s because you haven’t found the right people, or because it’s only a feeling you have that may not be true, which you can challenge.

Don’t let anyone undermine you, including me! Trust your instincts and your heart. You may have to bend a little to have relationships, friends, and in your study and work life. Just don’t bend so much that you loose yourself!

You are funny and kind, empathetic and intelligent. You are beautiful and thoughtful. People love having you around, even if they don’t say it. You are loved! Especially by me.

“Don’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree!” Einstein.

If you feel down, you don’t need to be alone. Reach out to those who love you, like me! Ask for help. It is true that a problem shared is a problem halved. When life, or others are unkind to you, give yourself time and space to heal.

No-one escapes pain in life. Process it so you can move on to what’s next.

Be kind to yourself.

When you go in to a garden do you see the flowers or the weeds?

Look for joy every day. Look harder for it on bad days.

Think of six things you’re grateful for every day.

Always have something to look forward to. Seeing friends, an outing, a treat when you get home.

I may have ‘over parented' you, sorry! Because I worried about my difficulties and losses impacting you I probably fussed to much (you can thank my psychotherapy training for that!). This might make you a little self conscious so…

Relax! You are good enough and clever enough and kind enough. You work hard enough, you do enough, are beautiful and you have fun enough. Go easy on yourself. Give yourself a break. You are doing so well. See how far you have already come. You really are enough.

The universe wanted you in it, and so did I. That’s why you are here!

I’m so lucky to have you as my daughter. I am so proud of you. You are a phoenix from the ashes. A lotus flower in the mud. A rainbow after a storm. No pressure though! You’ll be the storm and the mud and the ashes sometimes.

You are sweet and unique, fierce and strong.

Enjoy your life! I am here for you.

I love you!

Love Mum xx

I invite you to write a letter to your 18 year old self, or to your daughter, son or young person in your life.

Do press the heart to let me know you are reading, and feel free to share if you know any daughters (or sons, and anyone in between) who might like to read it!

Let us know - what would you say to your younger self or an 18 year old?

Much love,

Kate

Hi friends!

Now that spring is finally here in the Northern hemisphere, this Awaken and Bloom in Spring Workshop will harness Springs powerful sense of renewal, growth, and fresh beginnings to create meaningful change in your life.

This Awaken and Bloom Session is a transformative 35 minute pre-recorded workshop to inspire you to channel your beautiful energy where it matters most. As the world bursts into bloom after the stillness of winter, this is your chance to shake off what no longer serves you and step fully into your next chapter.

Scroll down to watch the video, read an abridged transcript, or listen to the audio version above. This is for paid subscribers so upgrade here if you are ready to connect with your innate capacity to renew and grow with:

* 🌷Two powerful exercises to identify where you are ready to grow and thrive - and actually do it!

* 🌱 A inspiring guided meditation as you stretch towards the light into your full potential.

* 🦋 Learn three somatic tools to cultivate confidence and strength.

* 🌳 Therapeutic journaling to anchor your insights into real, lasting change.

“Thank you so much Kate this was incredibly powerful for me.” Rosine

If you’re ready to embrace this season of growth and make space for the life you truly want, this workshop is for you. There may be growing pains, but we can do it!

* Watch the Awaken and Bloom in Spring Workshop below.

* Don’t forget, The Intentional Living Workbook worth £17 is now FREE for ALL paid subscribers. Please message me for the code if you haven’t had it yet.

* Explore the Friday Bloom Sessions to dip into when you like, with therapeutic exercises and self-discovery journaling - continuing after Easter by popular request! (This could save you £1000’s in therapy!)

* If you’d like to connect more deeply with your true nature, explore the Guided meditations here.

“I’m so glad to have found you on here… you have inspired and helped me in so many wonderful ways. Thank you for all that you do.” Eva

You could stay where you are, and let another season slip by… or you could say yes to yourself. Yes to growth, yes to clarity, yes to the tools that will help you flourish. Imagine looking back in a few months and seeing how much has changed—how much more you you feel. Don’t wait for “someday,” friend! Let’s step into spring together. I can’t wait to see you bloom!

For the whole spring season, we will focus on self awareness and personal growth in our Bloom Sessions to embrace this powerful energy and connect with your innate capacity for growth and renewal. It is a little effort, yes, but the rewards can be profound!

With love and gratitude,

Kate

I’m Kate, a psychotherapist writing about personal growth, for you to flourish in a life you love! Upgrade here for the Bloom Sessions and to support my work! 🤍

Hi friends

The relentless pursuit of self-improvement seems to be a hallmark of modern culture, with media and society always urging us to become better versions of ourselves.

Lately, I see so many posts on Substack urgently telling me to grow, to improve, to reach my goals right now. They are so compelling, that I say yes. Yes I want this! And right now, yes! I push myself away.

And then I remember, I have you, reader, and two thousand others, and remind myself that I am doing an okay job, or you wouldn’t be here.

I often wish I was tidier, more organised, richer, more stylish, a better writer. Thankfully, I’ve managed to reach a point in my life where I just say ‘oh well.’

I have other priorities. Like my daughter’s and my well-being, eating healthily, writing, making inspiring jewellery, and going on exhilarating dog walks with my friends.

Maybe you want to improve your figure, but you are too busy saving the world, or spending time with those you love (which also saves the world), so I hope you’ll let it go.

Many don’t understand that the desire for self-improvement is undermining our uniqueness, natural qualities and abilities, even overlooking the essence of our being.

This is the opposite of aligning with our authentic self. We push ourselves away in our striving for better.

When we link our self worth perpetually to future achievements or states, we create the very inadequacy and chronic dissatisfaction we are trying to reduce, on a horrible self-inflicted loop! 🫣

This a one way ticket to anxiety, burnout, low self-worth, or clinging to a fixed identity we haven’t even yet achieved, and maybe never will.

It is also all rather ego-centric. What a colossal waste of our beautiful energy.

Self Improvement is Not Growth

I’m sorry to say, many therapists end up in a terrible cycle of self improvement that can end them up in overpowering narcissism, a fake guru-like persona, with decades of navel gazing and dismantling of what was once a perfectly good self. But that’s a whole other tragedy.

Self improvement is not the same as wanting to feel better, if you seek the wonder of self discovery, or you are suffering. We may have incongruent parts that may well hold us back from reasonable wishes like healthy relationships, behaviour or satisfying work. Our self cries out to be seen and held, not improved.

If you were to see a good therapist, they are not trying help you improve. They want you to express yourself, to speak your truth, to become your most authentic self. This creates healing, and growth from there is natural. Exponential, even.

You do improve, your mood, self worth, satisfaction, resilience, but not because you tried. It was because you stopped trying.

It’s my favourite part of being a therapist. My clients come in, tell me their issue, their fault, their symptom, their mistake, and I’ll truly hear it. I listen. I take it in. I sit with it. I chew it over. I try it on. They wait for me to do something, and I don’t. I accept it, and, after a while (sometimes a long while, involving lengthy discussion), they accept it too.

And guess what?

The problem disappears. We allow it, and it dissolves. This is happening in therapy rooms all over the world. Problems disappearing in puffs of smoke because we were willing to go in to it, listen to it, rather than improve or fix it.

* The world urgently needs your authentic self, your voice, your opinions, so please don’t push it away.

* Let’s bathe in the peace of feeling we are enough.

* Let’s float together on this rock for a moment just like this, amid our own beautiful, messy lives.

How to Not Improve Yourself

Not self-improving is not about giving up or stagnating, but making peace with where we are now. It is better to understand and accept ourselves than to fix ourselves - which leads to change anyway. When we feel good enough by not trying to improve, we can embrace change without pushing. We could then pursue goals not through striving, but from curiosity and joy.

* Let’s find contentment in the interconnected, impermanent universe that led us to being just as we are.

* Let’s embrace our inevitable imperfections and our strengths. This is naturally compassionate, bolstering our self-esteem and emotional resilience.

* Let’s recognise our inherent unique worth, without the need for constant validation through achievements.

* Let’s stay present, so we are attuned to our thoughts and feelings without judgment.

* Let’s challenge unhelpful rumination on so-called flaws or future aspirations, or negative self-perceptions.

* Let’s remember that perfection is a total BS, unattainable ideal.

* Let’s acknowledge that comparison could not be a bigger waste of our time and energy if it tried.

* Instead of asking, "How can I improve?" consider asking, "What do I need right now?"

* Let’s wish each other luck on our own unique paths, and all the twists and turns we navigate.

Which of these can you relate to most? I’d love to know! Do join in the comments!

With love,

Kate

Upgrade to paid to receive all the The Bloom Sessions on Sundays, to help you come home to yourself and feel less alone. Personal growth tools, insights from my therapy room, and self-discovery journalling. Your support makes my writing possible. Thank you!

Popular Bloom Sessions for Members:

🌳 Winter Roots Series: Strong Foundations for the Year Ahead

Liberate Yourself with Shadow Work | Freedom From Procrastination | Find Your Boundaries, Find Yourself | From Imposter Syndrome to Owning Your Worth | Break Free From Self Doubt | All Bloom Sessions Members, feel free to message with topic requests (anonymous).

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I’m Kate, a psychotherapist writing about personal growth, for you to flourish in a life you love! Upgrade here for Friday The Bloom Sessions, self-discovery tools, meditations and if you’d like to support my work. Thanks for being here!

Hi friends

It has been a year since I first clutched my laptop against my broken heart, and hope spilled from my fingertips onto these pages. My mission as I began writing Letters from Therapy on Substack was to share beauty from the therapy room here for you prise open the window and let light shine into your soul.

Here, I share the highs, lows, subscriber growth, tumbleweed, going a bit viral, getting paid, conversion rates, overwhelm and what’s next for my publication. You might have to click below to read the full article, which you’ll also find on my Substack Letters from Therapy page.

Fear

I knew starting a Substack newsletter was a big commitment. The decision to start circled in my mind for months. I was driven by a bursting bank of 16 years of therapy knowledge with no outlet. I’d had to stop my therapy work after Covid. I already lost so much in my life, I couldn’t bear to lose this too, it was where much of my sense of purpose and meaning live.

Hope

I had insights tucked inside every cell in my body from this rewarding work, that I knew could help you connect more deeply with yourself, and find purpose in your beautiful, messy lives, despite everything. I knew how we can feel more whole, embrace all our strangeness, feel more at ease with ourselves, to suffer less, and my beating heart told me I must.

Someone told me I could write well, which lit this fire, and here I am.

I dreamed of creating something here that would feel like therapy. Using words and tools for deep, transformative experiences that could even change a life. Substack’s unique platform offered me a chance to channel my calling in a new way, to help brave souls like you rise into themselves.

“Thank you so much Kate this was incredibly powerful for me.” Rosine

Foundations

Finding Substack teachers Claire Venus (she/her) ✨ and Sarah Fay helped me shape this space into something real. Their welcoming communities, along with learning to write better with the incredible Jeannine Ouellette, and finding Substack wisdom from Russell Nohelty David McIlroy, Kristi Keller, Tom Kuegler, Dan Blank and the community on Substack, gave me the foundation I needed. I could to translate my experience into this publication, and produce 80+ posts with thousands of transformative self-discovery journaling questions and exercises. See the contents page here.

Tumbleweed

Writing a newsletter feels cruel sometimes! It really stings when you pour your heart into something and you’re not even sure if it’s reached anyone. Maybe it was the wrong time, or maybe it was just s**t writing. I often have posts with 1,600 views and under 20 likes. Shall I get my coat? As Poorna Bell recently said on notes, if you like a post, please like it. To give feedback, and to let the writer know you’re reading, so they won’t pack it in.

But then one of you will comment and let me know how a post impacted you, changed things for you, and I remember why I’m writing.

“I feel so much better about myself and accepting me for me. Thank you x” Fiona

Productivity

I created 80+ posts over the year, and I can hardly believe it was me that did that. I managed to keep showing up each week despite fluctuating health, finances, life changes like my daughter leaving home for uni, and a close family member in and out of hospital. My plan for scheduling posts ahead went out the window, but I managed to keep up.

I shared my posts on themes of personal growth and creative living, from meditations to the new format of The Bloom Sessions with therapeutic journalling reflections and exercises to help you become, well, you.

Sticking to an editorial calendar isn’t for me. I felt stifled by it, so I’m keeping it free. I do have a list though, but like to follow my nose as to what is next, and your ideas if you have them. I now have an embarrassing bank of over 100 drafts which I’ll finish and share over the coming year.

I settled on Fridays to post for my paid members, for continuity, but these can also be saved and revisited whenever it suits you. I always reply. I share free posts when I can (I do like a Sunday post, when I have more time to reply to comments), free posts will likely be every other week.

My highlights are the new Bloom Sessions, my series on grief, and the Heal Your Past series. My most liked post is about resilience: When Life is Unstable, You Don’t Have to be, and an early post I reshared, Taking the Road Less Travelled is a favourite.

“As I came to the end of regular therapy, I knew I would need a little scaffolding around me, and feel that’s just what you give me. So thank you. For being brave, consistent and supportive to me. I am very grateful.” Vanessa

Delight

Finding you all here is like finding a family. 2,000+ beautiful human souls like you chose to press ‘subscribe’ in 2024. (Yes, some of you are probably bots, but hey, even bots need love! The people who make them certainly do.) All of us are here, finding our way to flourish with integrity in this difficult world. You are nestled into the chambers of my heart, and it beats stronger now.

The testimonials and comments you share often feel like popping candy to a child hunched on a dreary corner under grey skies. They are the light that keeps me going on tough days.

My paid members are a kaleidoscope of courageous butterflies, who create ripples of beauty and truth not only through your own souls, but out across the world, in 73 countries.

In these dark times, we truth seekers are the ones shining our light ever brighter, and keeping us all from the abyss. The soft breeze from your wings drives me forward.

Kinship

The friendships I've found here are pure gold, including irl friends, and so much camaraderie between Substack writers on notes. Through Claire Venus (she/her) ✨ Sparkle community, I found incredible souls like Emma Simpson , Antonia Taylor , Kate Darracott , Amber Horrox , Sue Reed and Mika .

Suzy Walker’s Heart Leap community zooms keep me accountable, even when I loose my flow, or life gets in my way.

I connected with therapists like Dr Vicki Connop , Chris Guillebeau , Kelly Flanagan , Eve Menezes Cunningham , and Eliza Butler.

I met I Need to Finish This Before I Die by Amy Beeson , Eva Lydon , Ruth Cooper-Dickson , Una , Lauren Powell , Emma Simpson, Claire Venus (she/her) ✨ and Kate Darracott and others at a talk with author Emma Gannon and Farrah @Substack. Amy and Kate now organise meet ups for Substack writers in London and Surrey to connect and inspire each other. We're all walking this path together.

Recommendations

I am blown away that 60 publications now recommend Letters from Therapy. Special shout out to my top referrers Louise Stevenson ,

Kate Darracott , Janine Agoglia , Mika , Eliza Butler and Vanessa Simpson .

I bumped into old friends and acquaintances on Substack from my creative days on Instagram like Vanessa Simpson , Emily Quinton , Louise Tilbrook , Emma Connolly , Juliet Thomas , Becca Cherry and Amie McNee.

“I’m so glad to have found you on here… you have inspired and helped me in so many wonderful ways. Thank you for all that you do.” Eva

Time, Money and Value

I spend more on chocolate each week than the cost of my paid membership. On Substack, we believe writers should be paid for our work. On the other hand, much of the services offered here are ridiculously cheap compared to other contexts, often costing tens or hundreds of times more elsewhere. We need big subscriber numbers for these low prices to work. Pricing is hard when the value is priceless, you want to be generous, and yet you are hoping to make a living.

Because some people dip in and out of subscriptions, and I know that self discovery work often doesn’t happen in one sitting, I make my annual subscription half the price of my monthly to encourage people to stay and give it a go, and feel the difference. They get workbooks and all sorts so it’s great value from the start.

Just like you, I have hopes and dreams, like earning a full income again one day. To make a good living, I’ll need to find 500-1000+ true fans (paid subscribers): only 930 to go! Maybe unrealistic dreams are sometimes possible. I take a very long-term view. Very, very long.

My goal is to continue to write weekly and add value here, and become a bestselling Substack publication this year, with 100 paid subscribers. As Substack guru Claire Venus (she/her) ✨ often says: We have time. We have so much time.

“Thank you, Kate, this is so useful, it has led me to deep reflection.” Jane

Overwhelm

My brain is bursting with ideas, hence the hefty drafts folder. My phone notes app smokes with more. I won't overwhelm you with extra posts because that only passes that overwhelm on to you. I unsubscribed from some newsletters that post too often, as I can’t keep up. Are you the same? Quality over quantity. Deeper, not wider.

It takes me about 2-3 full days to complete a post like this. Even shorter posts sometimes take just as long. I’m working on reducing this but I don’t want to cut corners: I don’t see the point in writing for writing sake. Given the topic I write about, it has to have value and meaning. I want to transform how you think and feel about yourself for the better, because that, and you, are what keeps the world vibrant, loving, and hopeful.

The amount of brilliant writing here sends my head spinning, so I’ve learned to read a few favourites, and let go what I can’t read, as it’s impossible to keep up with everything.

Healing

This space has been healing for me too. Losing my therapy practice felt like losing a limb. But pouring these ideas onto these pages helped me find my balance again. Your presence allows me to keep my calling, my sense of purpose alive.

Sharing personal experiences, especially that post about lifelong grief, and the viral note I mention below, has been profoundly therapeutic, with the wave of compassion that came back to me from strangers. I also found others who have overcome so much, and write with such beauty, like Emma Simpson who has a real life book out soon!

“This is absolutely wonderful! It reinforces and echoes exactly the things that my awesome therapist says to me too! So sensible, helpful, down to earth, actionable! Thank you so much and I am going right now to subscribe!” Linn

Tsunami

There are big names now flooding to Substack, making us small writers feel like tiny fish in an expanding ocean of whales and marlin. But that's also beautiful. I’m okay being plankton. We're part of something growing, a community of truth-seekers and thinkers. Let’s remember that the big fish bring readers too. What an incredible thing! We need more authentic voices in this age where truth and integrity are being eroded.

Going Viral

The note I shared about my life story got 1,500+ likes and brought 700 new beautiful souls here within 1 month in October.

That was bloody lucky, and made up for the dip when I had less time to spend writing in the summer before my daughter left for University. It was one of the most healing and validating experiences of my life. Thank you to all you who are reading now because you read my story, when in my own life, the same story is what made so many turn away.

My growth in subscribers was generally steady, with some peaks after popular posts, and troughs unmistakably linked to my being less active on notes, and even spending less time writing.

“Thank you for these wise words. I am going on a self discovery journey, just changed career but not sure I have made the right choice, and peri-menopause also isn’t helping. Your writing encourages me to carry on learning about myself and finding my light bulb moments. Thank you.” Yean

The Year Ahead

With an archive of 80+ posts, and a whole years worth of experience, I feel rather accomplished and excited for what’s next. I know I can meet the commitment of this newsletter for my paid members and my free community who may join when ready. I have plans to:

* Keep writing every week.

* Keep Friday Bloom Sessions for paid going.

* Create psycho-educational masterclasses on big topics like boundaries, relationships, personal development.

Thank you for being here, for reading, for engaging. Your likes, restacks, and comments make a huge difference. I'd love to hear your thoughts: What topics inspire you? What would you like me to write? If you write on Substack, how is it going?

With so much love and gratitude,

Kate

P.S. Don’t forget to like, comment and share!

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” Ernest Hemingway

Thank you for your continued support. I really appreciate you choosing to be here, and it’s because of you that I can write at all. ☺️

Hi friends,

Happy New Year!

It’s been such a pleasure writing this newsletter for you for the last year. It means so much that you enjoy reading my posts! I guess you’re here because, like me, you are on the path of self-acceptance, self-awareness and emotional well-being. This can be challenging though, so I’m adding a new weekly feature to my publication, The Bloom Sessions! 🌱🌷

In this post, I’ll outline what The Bloom Sessions are, how they will help you and why it matters!

“This is absolutely wonderful! It reinforces and echoes exactly the things that my awesome therapist says to me too! So sensible, helpful, down to earth, actionable! Thank you so much and I am going right now to subscribe!” Linn

You are Invited to The Bloom Sessions!

You’ll know by now that looking after our mental health takes a bit of effort in our modern world, just like looking after our bodies, homes and relationships. If we aren’t aware of our unchecked thoughts, outdated patterns, and unexplored emotions, and how they may be shaping our lives - we can end up confused and suffering.

Life can be tough, so this work is necessary and beautiful, not to mention illuminating and fun! Encountering and living life from our true self brings satisfaction, acceptance and meaning.

It’s natural for us humans to want to grow, and also to protect ourselves. Most of our issues stem from the adaptations we make as we protect our precious sense of self in difficult circumstances, relationships and environments we have lived through. The protective mechanism can hinder us if it is over-protective, misaligned or outdated. It is often this, as well as gaps in our psyches, that can cause anxiety, low mood, keeping ourselves small, hiding, clinging to the same old patterns, confusing emotions, and so many more processes that may not serve us.

When we connect with ourselves in curiosity, we encounter the vibrant beauty of our light, our life force. This can even feel exhilarating. Eep! ✨

I’ll guide you in self-directed explorations of your thoughts and feelings with honesty, compassion, and curiosity. And I’ll cheer you on from the other side of these words.

“Thank you for these wise words. I am going on a self discovery journey, just changed career but not sure I have made the right choice, and peri-menopause also isn’t helping. Your writing encourages me to carry on learning about myself and finding my light bulb moments. Thank you.” Yean

Tending Your Garden 🌱

Did you ever read or watch the secret garden? When we come across an old gnarly secret doorway we may feel apprehension about what is behind it. Perhaps a sliver of courage and curiosity allows us to creak the door open, and we discover more than we imagined. What’s inside isn’t something to fear, but something beautiful - because it’s you! Bear with me…

Some parts of our garden are overgrown and need pruning or weeding. Others need water, and sunshine, new soil and food. We can explore and discover what’s there, gorgeous flowers, glades, waterfalls - lost treasures of our own minds.

We can weed anything we don’t want, unhelpful patterns, old stories, limiting beliefs, out of date emotional responses and thoughts. We can clear it and bring it to life, discover it’s beauty and plant new things, like courage, confidence, healing and meaning. We will water and tend, until our garden blooms!

Our garden can then stay strong through storms, through winter, through droughts, and everything in between.

Thanks for bearing with me through the analogy!

“Thank you so much Kate this was incredibly powerful for me.” Rosine

The Bloom Sessions 🌱🌷

* Friday posts to use as self-directed sessions to gently explore your inner world in a way that can lead to healing, change, and personal growth. (3/4 Fridays with a review/catch up/action week, and I’ll break for school holidays).

* Until Easter for now, and if you enjoy it, I’d love to continue!

* I’ll create and share transformative therapeutic journaling and self-discovery exercises around topics often explored in therapy to create psychological shifts. You can uncover and release hidden patterns that could be harming you, challenge limiting beliefs that hold you back, and gain clarity so you can bloom into yourself.

* An anchor to give yourself a routine for illuminating self-discovery work, around 20-40 minutes a week in the quiet comfort of home.

* Suggest topics that are true for you so I can include them.

* You aren’t alone! Join in the confidential comments to share progress, get accountability and ask me anything. I’ll be there!

* You’ll finish each Bloom Session with a shift, an insight and an action plan.

Over time, you can reframe your struggles, build resilience, and unlock new perspectives, empowering yourself to make meaningful changes. Or maybe you need to come home to yourself, change can mean acceptance and release. Either way, you’ll feel more congruent, more authentic, more accepting, more free to bloom into your true self.

“As I came to the end of regular therapy, I knew I would need a little scaffolding around me, and feel that’s just what you give me. So thank you. For being brave, consistent and supportive to me. I am very grateful.” Vanessa

The Bloom Sessions will help to:

* Challenge negative thoughts

* Break through limiting beliefs 

* Build resilience

* Grow self worth

* Improve mood 

* Embrace our imperfect selves

* Lessen anxiety 

* Integrate our shadow side

* Align our actions with our hopes and dreams

* Gain clarity in all our choices

The gentle work we can do also has a ripple effect across our loved ones and communities too. As you bloom, you give others permission to do the same. And we can all move forward together!

“Thank you Kate. So glad I came back to your membership. I was feeling lost for a while.” Clare

About me

I’m Kate, a psychotherapist and counsellor in the UK, with a Professional Diploma in therapeutic counselling, a MSc in Contemporary Gestalt Psychotherapy, a Certificate in couples counselling and in counselling young people. I worked with clients of all ages for about 16 years, and witnessed first hand the power of this type of enquiry, and the transformation it can bring. I draw on this work to create these sessions for you to use in this gentle, self-directed work.

So I hope you’ll become a paid member if you haven’t already, and join me on Fridays. Start with the new year journaling sessions below, or I’ll see you next week. If you want to stay a free subscriber you are welcome, I’ll still be writing some posts for you too.

Let’s make 2025 your year to bloom!

Thanks for being here! With love and gratitude,

Kate

You’re welcome here, whatever has happened, wherever and whoever you are! If you are distressed, or find this kind of reflective work upsetting, you might do better with the human closeness of one to one therapy. Ask your your doctor, Or search here if you are in the UK.

“I’m so glad to have found you on here… you have inspired and helped me in so many wonderful ways. Thank you for all that you do.” Eva